that's not how it works

[ktgrok]

My sweet, loving, well meaning DH work me up this morning to tell me I didn't need to wake up.

 

Background - normally when the dogs start pacing around in the mornings I will get up and let them out, and then feed the meowing cat to shut him up. This morning DH thought he'd do me a favor and do it - so he woke me up to tell me he was doing it. Um...thanks? Maybe just let me sleep then, lol? Kind of defeats the purpose if you are going to wake me up anyway!

Also, once my heart rate came down from being startled awake I informed him I'd already taken them out, and fed the cat, 45 minutes earlier. And then gone back to bed. I'd JUST fallen back asleep when he woke me up. 

He meant well, anyway, lol. 

[teachermom2834]

Oh my gosh my dh does this. 
 

He has actually woken me up to ask how I was sleeping. I am not kidding. 
 

My dh, bless him, cannot do anything without pointing out that he is doing it. Even if it means inconveniencing me to tell me. 

[fairfarmhand]

9 minutes ago, teachermom2834 said:

Oh my gosh my dh does this. 
 

He has actually woken me up to ask how I was sleeping. I am not kidding. 
 

My dh, bless him, cannot do anything without pointing out that he is doing it. Even if it means inconveniencing me to tell me. 

My mil would do this and it drove everyone nuts. 

"Sleeping good aren't you?"

Knocks on the bathroom door that is locked. "Anyone in there?"

[Alicia64]

Hilarious!

[Faith-manor]

This is my dh all over again! I love him so much, but it vexes me. "Honey, I don't have an early meeting tomorrow so I am not going to set the alarm, and I will get up with Lewis." Then I am blissfully asleep, and he gets up with Lewis, walks him, feeds him, and then comes to wake me up to tell me he walked and fed Lewis.

I wonder what would happen if next time, I rolled over when his alarm would normally go off but he is sleeping in, and wake him up to say, "I just wanted you to know that you don't have to be up this early. So don't get up." 😂

[EKS]

My husband will come into our bedroom at night when I'm asleep and ask me in a loud voice "Are you asleep?" 

Frankly, it's a miracle that we're still married 🤣

[Annie G]

Dh is an early riser and I’m not. Since he retired he’s been ‘helping’ me. Every day from 5:30-6 am he does his chores, while wearing earbuds and listening to a podcast. So he doesn’t bother me. He washes and refills our metal zojirushi water bottles, and we both like a lot of ice in them. He drops at LEAST 3 ice cubes on the floor for every water bottle. There are three of them, metal, and every cube that does go into them makes all kinds of racket. . Then he unloads the dishwasher. And clinks dishes constantly. Generally drops at least 2 items of silverware. He sweeps the kitchen and dining room and because I complained that sweeping it into a pile isn’t finishing the job (I expected him to use the dust pan that is ATTACHED to the broom) , he grabs the cordless Dyson and sucks it up. Then empties the vac, complete w banging it on the trash can to get out all the dirt. 
‘Our bedroom is nearby, and even though the door is closed I can hear it all as if it’s 6 inches away. I can’t bear to tell him to stop because he truly is trying to help me. 
Men. I swear.

[ktgrok]

10 minutes ago, Annie G said:

Dh is an early riser and I’m not. Since he retired he’s been ‘helping’ me. Every day from 5:30-6 am he does his chores, while wearing earbuds and listening to a podcast. So he doesn’t bother me. He washes and refills our metal zojirushi water bottles, and we both like a lot of ice in them. He drops at LEAST 3 ice cubes on the floor for every water bottle. There are three of them, metal, and every cube that does go into them makes all kinds of racket. . Then he unloads the dishwasher. And clinks dishes constantly. Generally drops at least 2 items of silverware. He sweeps the kitchen and dining room and because I complained that sweeping it into a pile isn’t finishing the job (I expected him to use the dust pan that is ATTACHED to the broom) , he grabs the cordless Dyson and sucks it up. Then empties the vac, complete w banging it on the trash can to get out all the dirt. 
‘Our bedroom is nearby, and even though the door is closed I can hear it all as if it’s 6 inches away. I can’t bear to tell him to stop because he truly is trying to help me. 
Men. I swear.

This is my husband's routine if I nap, lol. 

[bluemongoose]

This is so funny and true. Very very rarely do I actually find an opportunity to nap. If by sheer luck a day comes that I can, I let DH know that I need a nap and I'm going to go take one. About 15 min later he will forget and decide it is time for some music to do chores with....very very loud music...with a lot of bass and/or electric guitar. If I show up looking like I just woke up he says...hey weren't you going to go take a nap?

[BlsdMama]

I feel like I’m the man in our relationship.... the oblivious helper who means well. 
 

Surely I can’t be the only one here who is this way and feels a little sad? 😉 

[Tanaqui]

Knocking on the bathroom door is a good habit, though. I have a cousin of my mother's who habitually chatted with whoever through the bathroom door. She ended up in the hospital once, and it would've taken longer to get there if her husband hadn't passed by and called out, and then worried when he didn't get an answer.

Or, less seriously, what if somebody accidentally locked it behind them? If you don't knock, out of some sense of politeness, you might wait a very long time before calling a locksmith!

[Arctic Bunny]

People at work wonder why I come home from a night shift, make the kids breakfast, and send them off to school while DH sleeps. Because he canNOT do morning routine quietly, does not believe them - or the schedule on our family calendar - about what time they need to be out the door. So, with all the shouting to get them out the door half an hour early for the bus in -30, the banging of dishes, the SINGING AND TALKING, I’m not sleeping anyway, and the kids may as well have a non-yelly morning if possible.

[Kassia]

2 hours ago, EKS said:

My husband will come into our bedroom at night when I'm asleep and ask me in a loud voice "Are you asleep?" 

Frankly, it's a miracle that we're still married 🤣

This is exactly what my husband does!  Or he'll come in and whisper loudly something like, "oh, shoot!" because he got up after I fell asleep and this wakes me up.  

[Annie G]

18 minutes ago, BlsdMama said:

I feel like I’m the man in our relationship.... the oblivious helper who means well. 
 

Surely I can’t be the only one here who is this way and feels a little sad? 😉 

Don’t feel sad! Dh doesn’t realize he’s keeping me awake but it’s just so sweet that he’s doing these things to make my life better. I’m not complaining or making fun of him at all- he’s truly doing it to show me he cherishes me.  Your family is lucky to have you!

[HeartString]

25 minutes ago, Arctic Bunny said:

People at work wonder why I come home from a night shift, make the kids breakfast, and send them off to school while DH sleeps. Because he canNOT do morning routine quietly, does not believe them - or the schedule on our family calendar - about what time they need to be out the door. So, with all the shouting to get them out the door half an hour early for the bus in -30, the banging of dishes, the SINGING AND TALKING, I’m not sleeping anyway, and the kids may as well have a non-yelly morning if possible.

My dad worked night shift for years when I was little  and he swears that making yourself stay up a bit when you get home is better on your body because it’s closer to a “regular” routine.  No clue if it’s true or not, but you might be doing it the “better” way this way.   

[Kassia]

21 minutes ago, Annie G said:

Don’t feel sad! Dh doesn’t realize he’s keeping me awake but it’s just so sweet that he’s doing these things to make my life better. I’m not complaining or making fun of him at all- he’s truly doing it to show me he cherishes me.  Your family is lucky to have you!

Well said!

[Arctic Bunny]

47 minutes ago, HeartString said:

My dad worked night shift for years when I was little  and he swears that making yourself stay up a bit when you get home is better on your body because it’s closer to a “regular” routine.  No clue if it’s true or not, but you might be doing it the “better” way this way.   

Meh.... I get home at 6, last kid out the door at 8:45, and back at 4... me up in time to be out the door at 5:15.... It’s really not that bad, because I am completely and utterly unconscious from 9-3:30, lol.

ETA: I do agree with your dad, though, as much as I prefer to be out cold by 6:15. I am NOT a morning person, but that 30 min before the first kid has to be up gives me a taste of what morning people rave about. I get the kitchen cleaned up if it’s not, throw a load of laundry in, etc. And lest anyone think DH isn’t pulling his weight, he’s working 6 12-hour shifts out of every 8 days right now, so he gets some slack.

Edited May 26, 2021 by Arctic Bunny