Jump to content

Menu

Employer pettiness updated 8/27


Recommended Posts

22 minutes ago, Clarita said:

Do you work under the manager or the owner? I'm confused. I get the mama bear instincts to stick up for your son and to give the owner a shot at fixing this manager issue. I do believe the manager is toxic and a jerk. Here's my critique of the situation, though.

If the manager does things to you that are uncalled for and unprofessional (I'm assuming you've either already talked to him about your issues or his tirades are bad enough you feel uncomfortable talking to him) go over his head and talk to the owner. (If the owner is your boss and you just have to work with him then direct to owner is the appropriate route, you don't have to talk to him at all).

If the manager does things to your son that are uncalled for and unprofessional, your son should be the one taking the above steps. If it's a big enough company with an HR department(person), that would be the person he files these grievances with. If it's too small of a company for that then that person would be the manager of the manager (if that's the owner then the owner). 

If you are speaking to the owner on behalf of your son and you are not the HR person (who 's job it is to speak on the behalf of all the employees to the owner), then you too are acting unprofessional. 

I am not sure you read the entire thread.

Also, very small company, no HR.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Scarlett changed the title to Employer pettiness updated 7/30
7 hours ago, Scarlett said:

And finally I am sick of it….just over it.  I am 56 years old.  Just not going to take it.  I considered just quitting but can’t justify letting someone else…probably someone I know walk into that without at least discussing it with owner.  Ds told me yesterday if manager paid his wages he would have already quit.  Because you couldn’t trust him to not give a bad recommendation or to fire you in anger…but because we have so much respect and appreciation for owner….we are still there.

Sometimes, you just have to quit. I mean I don't know but the owner could be waiting for a qualitative reason to fire the guy. Losing employees could be his ticket. In resignation you can tell him exactly why, especially since you've worked for him for so long, you can even tell the owner you would be willing to come back if he isn't there anymore. 

As to unpaid wages I'm not sure why that would be part of the manager's role in this. I thought generally wages came from whoever is doing payroll for the company. If there is some weirdness with unpaid wages 1) I would leave some "paper trail" communications via email as opposed to phone calls or in person talks asking for my pay and 2) then I would quit in a heartbeat. (Owner might have a heart of gold, but if in his business practices he can allow for a manager to withhold an employee's wages because of a grievance he needs to get stuff in order.) I believe those unpaid wages could be taken to court as a lawsuit. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, Clarita said:

Sometimes, you just have to quit. I mean I don't know but the owner could be waiting for a qualitative reason to fire the guy. Losing employees could be his ticket. In resignation you can tell him exactly why, especially since you've worked for him for so long, you can even tell the owner you would be willing to come back if he isn't there anymore. 

As to unpaid wages I'm not sure why that would be part of the manager's role in this. I thought generally wages came from whoever is doing payroll for the company. If there is some weirdness with unpaid wages 1) I would leave some "paper trail" communications via email as opposed to phone calls or in person talks asking for my pay and 2) then I would quit in a heartbeat. (Owner might have a heart of gold, but if in his business practices he can allow for a manager to withhold an employee's wages because of a grievance he needs to get stuff in order.) I believe those unpaid wages could be taken to court as a lawsuit. 

I am sorry, what unpaid wages are you talking about?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, Clarita said:

 

I think you misunderstood. AFAIK, there are no unpaid wages. The son was speaking as a hypothetical.  *If* the manager was the one writing the checks, then son would have quit by now. But manager doesn't write the checks; the owner does. 

  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I see. In that case (especially since he's going to be an engineer), tell him you are always working for your manager, not your project, not "the company". He can prepare to quit, go in and talk to the owner about how this guy makes him want to quit, see if the owner offers a good solution, if not hand him his resignation.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Clarita said:

I see. In that case (especially since he's going to be an engineer), tell him you are always working for your manager, not your project, not "the company". He can prepare to quit, go in and talk to the owner about how this guy makes him want to quit, see if the owner offers a good solution, if not hand him his resignation.

Did you see that this is really not about my som anymore? I texted the owner last night and expressed my concerns with managers conduct. None of it had to do with my son. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So Friday night after I sent the text Owner responded immediately I felt really good. Now that it is Sunday afternoon my anxiety is starting to creep in as to what will happen next.  
 

I do feel I made the right decision but I still feel very anxious.  Friday night owner said he knows a way to talk to discuss with manager without telling him I complained. 
 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

I do feel I made the right decision but I still feel very anxious.  Friday night owner said he knows a way to talk to discuss with manager without telling him I complained. 

I wish you luck. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, Scarlett said:

So Friday night after I sent the text Owner responded immediately I felt really good. Now that it is Sunday afternoon my anxiety is starting to creep in as to what will happen next.  
 

I do feel I made the right decision but I still feel very anxious.  Friday night owner said he knows a way to talk to discuss with manager without telling him I complained. 
 

I read that and think, he isn’t going to do much other than talk to the guy. In a small office like that, I find it very unlikely it won’t be obvious who is complaining. I hope Monday goes well for you though. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 minutes ago, Murphy101 said:

I read that and think, he isn’t going to do much other than talk to the guy. In a small office like that, I find it very unlikely it won’t be obvious who is complaining. I hope Monday goes well for you though. 

Well I’m hopeful. Because I know the owner well . I honestly do not care if the manager knows I complain. He has to know he’s completely out of line. In fact twice he has made a comment to me that he needs people around him who are easy-going because he’s not.

also because The owner witnessed  managers very bad behavior on Friday….I do think that he will be dead serious about fixing things. Owner was running the shop himself before he had a manager and he can certainly do it again

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, RootAnn said:

Wondered if you had an update today, @Scarlett. Hope it was an OK day at work.

It was definitely ok. Very weird. I don’t think the owner talked to him yet but I can’t be sure. 
 

Manager  was very subdued all day. Owner was in the shop working all day. 
 

New tech started…..manager stayed in the office while owner was in shop with new guy. 

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

He also did not bring his dog to the office….always a sign he is stressed…..it was a quiet day as far as customers coming in and phones ringing…..but he had a lot of work,to do to catch up….which he could do easier because owner was in the shop all day.

We often will chit chat about our weekends, or dogs, or what is going on in the town……yesterday was all business. But I will say he has acted that way other times that he has had little temper tantrums….it is typical of people who throw fits and then try to do better.  

Edited by Scarlett
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

So by Thursday afternoon of that week he had melted down again,…..I had no clue what his deal was but I went in to ask him something and his anger was very obvious. 
 

The next morning I got a text from owner which said manager would not be in and he (Owner) wold be in shortly.   When owner got there he and I talked for over an hour.   He had asked the manager to take a day off…..apparently the day before a customer had made manager enraged….….he just can’t handle customers….but anyway, I told the owner some more details…and elaborated that I had considered quitting but decided it wasn’t fair to do so without talking to Owner first.  He reiterated repeatedly that he did not expect me to take it and no one should have to.  He also elaborated on many conversations he has had with manager about his anger….he is apparently aware of much more than I realized.  And he did say, ‘he is definitely going to have to get it together or he won’t be working here’.  

Owner said he was going to be at the business for the foreseeable future,…..we had just lost one major employee…..Owner felt confident it was not because of manager.  The replacement is a former employee who is capable of  about 30% more production..and things started rocking and rolling in the shop…..but it exacerbated another issue we had up the line…..and another major employee walked out Wednesday.  This one threw manager under the bus….said he was quitting because of manager….manager told me himself that his response to that was to curse him out before he left.  Classy….good news is Owner witnessed all of that.  The catch to that situation is this employee had been there for 4 years and really could never keep up……so I am thinking Owner is not that tore up he quit.  Owner is like…..a machine.  He had my son and another employee out there helping do things they have never done before and churning out product at crazy rate.  
 

Manager made me angry several times on Thursday and Friday.  He is so easily annoyed and he doesn’t know how to handle things…..one time I walked to the kitchen and microwaved a frittata.  20 second walk, 55 seconds to microwave….20 second walk back….seriously gone less than 2 min….naturally a customer comes in…..when I get back manager is dealing with them…and I can tell he is angry at me…he won’t let me do my part to help…says ‘I got it’.  so childish.  He said ‘ I didn’t even know you were gone.’. Ugh sometimes I go to the bathroom too so these situations will happen.

Not sure how this will all end up…..ds said Owner made some remarks about how things were going to be handled differently from now on.  

But I am still stressed….I had a dream that I was married to manager and could not find my way out of the horror.  I thought  ok I will just leave him….and then thought, oh. O no I will have   to quit my job! Don’t judge me, I work crap out in my dreams and I can tell I am feeling smothered by this situation.  I have deep respect for my Owner boss and he is a super employer as regards time off and flexibility.  
 

I am giving it some time……but I am on high alert.

  • Like 4
  • Sad 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think you mean Klassy!!!!!

I am sorry, I hope this will work out, it’s too bad this person is making the workplace so dysfunctional.  I hope your boss can work things out.  
 

It’s really just too bad!


It sounds like your boss is great in other ways, too, it is really too bad 😞
 

I do hope for the best!

  • Like 2
  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Scarlett said:

Owner said he was going to be at the business for the foreseeable future,…..we had just lost one major employee…..Owner felt confident it was not because of manager.  The replacement is a former employee who is capable of  about 30% more production..and things started rocking and rolling in the shop…..but it exacerbated another issue we had up the line…..and another major employee walked out Wednesday.  This one threw manager under the bus….said he was quitting because of manager….manager told me himself that his response to that was to curse him out before he left.  Classy….good news is Owner witnessed all of that.  The catch to that situation is this employee had been there for 4 years and really could never keep up……so I am thinking Owner is not that tore up he quit.  Owner is like…..a machine.  He had my son and another employee out there helping do things they have never done before and churning out product at crazy rate.

Manager sounds totally toxic. Hopefully having the owner there means you all have someone to tell this guy to knock it off.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Scarlett changed the title to Employer pettiness updated 8/27

I’ll bet something is going on in the guy’s personal life, but whatever it is, it’s pretty scary that he’s bringing his rage to work with him. I wish the owner would fire him, but then I think about all the stories on the news where the former employee comes back for revenge, so I don’t know what to hope for. 😞 

  • Like 2
  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Catwoman said:

I’ll bet something is going on in the guy’s personal life, but whatever it is, it’s pretty scary that he’s bringing his rage to work with him. I wish the owner would fire him, but then I think about all the stories on the news where the former employee comes back for revenge, so I don’t know what to hope for. 😞 

Exactly. I will say that my boss/owner is extremely intelligent and I can guarantee you he is weighing all of his options very very carefully. I told him today I did not want to feel like a tattletale. And he told me that he could not know what was going on without my input. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 hours ago, WildflowerMom said:

Scarlett, this guy seems unhinged and frankly could be a danger to y'all in the workplace.   I would have real reservations about going to work Monday.  

I am not afraid of him.  But it makes for a very toxic workplace. My son’s description is excellent….psychological torture.  

13 hours ago, Catwoman said:

I’ll bet something is going on in the guy’s personal life, but whatever it is, it’s pretty scary that he’s bringing his rage to work with him. I wish the owner would fire him, but then I think about all the stories on the news where the former employee comes back for revenge, so I don’t know what to hope for. 😞 

I have wondered about that.  He has definitely gotten worse…well it happens more frequently at least. Owner wonders if manager is sleeping.  I said I think he might have a girlfriend but basically 🤷🏻‍♀️   Also he doesn’t feel well.  He has some stomach issues that come and go and he really struggles with that….regardless you can’t act that way.  
 

I told Owner yesterday that I am surprised manager has not quit yet. I mean if I had a job that affected me that way from the stress of it I would quit.  
 

Owner is finishing up his latest development with in days. In fact the county engineer was suppose to be there yesterday for final inspection but she didn’t show.  Anyway, Owner told me he will be giving manager some parameters and that he will be around most days now to oversee.  Not sure what parameters he means exactly….but I do think a lot of paperwork is not getting done in a timely manner.  

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, LucyStoner said:

I know it can be hard to hire people right now but honestly, it really sounds like this manager is anything but professional and competent.  Dude needs to be gone.  

I am waiting for the other shoe to fall.  Today started off super pleasant…..manager and I chatted about our weekends….his stepmom had a seizure…I passed out in my bathroom in the middle of the night…lol….anyway, just 20 min of chit chat andOwner came in  then something happened….and he turned into his deeply depressed person.  I opened the shop door to ask manager to give an estimate and he said, testily, ‘I am not doing estimates!’  I looked at owner and said , ‘well it is Mrs Repeat customer, am I to tell her to come back tomorrow?’ Owner came up and helped customer. 
 

Manager continues with his death depression……another customer comes in, then a problem customer….owner handles him expertly as usual…..I ask Owner ‘am I to tell customers to come back tomorrow?’  He says not sure I need to talk with manager……manager turns his computer off at 3:30 and leaves.  It was insanely busy the rest of the day…..and then Owner had some development business to attend to…….so I never got a chance to discuss with him what is going on.

Nuts, I tell ya. 

  • Sad 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

17 minutes ago, klmama said:

Wait, you can't just pop that into the middle of the story and leave it hanging there.  Are you okay?

Lol, yes.  When I was on the toilet I felt suddenly clammy and sick….but I flushed, stood up and then felt dizzy…I thought…..I will just lean on this door for a second before I go to wash my hands….and that is the last I remember.  Dh said I did a 3 point crash, took down the shower curtain and fell into the tub.  Bang, bang bang!  Dog leaped from her bed to up on dhs chest and dh jumped up and ran in to find me in the tub. I was fine though.  
 

 

  • Sad 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Scarlett said:

Lol, yes.  When I was on the toilet I felt suddenly clammy and sick….but I flushed, stood up and then felt dizzy…I thought…..I will just lean on this door for a second before I go to wash my hands….and that is the last I remember.  Dh said I did a 3 point crash, took down the shower curtain and fell into the tub.  Bang, bang bang!  Dog leaped from her bed to up on dhs chest and dh jumped up and ran in to find me in the tub. I was fine though.  
 

 

Sounds like vasovagal syncope

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am very, very, very scared of the manager.  Unfortunately, he is presenting behavior very much like a workplace shooter.  And I can see why the owner is so very stressed out.  Firing can very well be the last trigger.  Do you have any knowledge of his personal life, Scarlett?  Like recent divorce, etc?

And I don't know what to suggest because even if OK has a red flag gun removal,  scheduling a hearing about that is almost guaranteed to set him off.  I guess all I can suggest is change jobs both you and your son.  Truly very sorry about this situation.  Or maybe start wearing a kevlar vest.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, TravelingChris said:

I am very, very, very scared of the manager.  Unfortunately, he is presenting behavior very much like a workplace shooter.  And I can see why the owner is so very stressed out.  Firing can very well be the last trigger.  Do you have any knowledge of his personal life, Scarlett?  Like recent divorce, etc?

And I don't know what to suggest because even if OK has a red flag gun removal,  scheduling a hearing about that is almost guaranteed to set him off.  I guess all I can suggest is change jobs both you and your son.  Truly very sorry about this situation.  Or maybe start wearing a kevlar vest.

Ok, the bolded made me laugh, but I know you are being serious in your concern.  I am concerned.  I know Owner is concerned. I know enough about his personal life to be concerned....but I don't know enough about his specific current situation.  He is very closed mouthed about what he does when not here.  Other than chit chat about his dog or his parents.  

Owner is here and heavily involved.  So we shall see.

  • Sad 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Scarlett, do you think he could be unhinged or possibly just a bit hot headed, OR, perhaps, if you haven’t heard the word enough already here and aren’t sick of it by now, narcissistic? The keys thing….just feels typical of the latter to me. So, just wondering. 
 

I do hope this all has a good outcome. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, Indigo Blue said:

Scarlett, do you think he could be unhinged or possibly just a bit hot headed, OR, perhaps, if you haven’t heard the word enough already here and aren’t sick of it by now, narcissistic? The keys thing….just feels typical of the latter to me. So, just wondering. 
 

I do hope this all has a good outcome. 

Narcissistic? No.  Hot head and in over his head.  And sometimes unhinged.  I think he is trying very hard, but he is too easily derailed.  The least little thing just throws him off into the ditch mentally. I think he really wants to keep this job but lack of humility may do him in.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

So @Scarlett, have you considered when you will just been done dealing with the manager and quit if the owner continues not to do anything about it?  Just curious because I was in a situation similar before and quitting was the best decision.  

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, hjffkj said:

So @Scarlett, have you considered when you will just been done dealing with the manager and quit if the owner continues not to do anything about it?  Just curious because I was in a situation similar before and quitting was the best decision.  

At this point, I am along for the ride for a bit.  I have a personal relationship with the Owner and I respect him a great deal.  I won't leave him the lurch for sure....if I quit he will have an abundance of notice. 

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

At this point, I am along for the ride for a bit.  I have a personal relationship with the Owner and I respect him a great deal.  I won't leave him the lurch for sure....if I quit he will have an abundance of notice. 

I think you’re doing the right thing. You have been working for the owner for so long, and it would be such a shame to have to give that up just because of this idiot manager. I would bet that if push came to shove, the owner would fire the manager if you threatened to quit because of the manager’s poor behavior. (I’m not saying you should do that — I wouldn’t want to put the owner in that position, and I also would not want the manager to think you were the reason he was fired — the guy sounds like a loose cannon.)

  • Thanks 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, Catwoman said:

I think you’re doing the right thing. You have been working for the owner for so long, and it would be such a shame to have to give that up just because of this idiot manager. I would bet that if push came to shove, the owner would fire the manager if you threatened to quit because of the manager’s poor behavior. (I’m not saying you should do that — I wouldn’t want to put the owner in that position, and I also would not want the manager to think you were the reason he was fired — the guy sounds like a loose cannon.)

I think so too.  The resolutions that would be good is if the manager got effective treatment for his probable depression (make depressives more often present w anger and especially hair trigger anger than w sadness) and other mental issues or if he decided to leavevthe job himself w/out any resentment that someone pushed him out.

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yesterday was a fair day.  As we left yesterday to go home manager remarked that it was a productive day.  
 

I walked in this morning…….he was outside the building just pacing.  I said good morning……he made a noise of some sort……and a face like nope….not anger though.  Oh boy here we go.
 

He came into the office…..shortly after we opened I needed to go in his office……he was on his cell phone and he saw me about to open the glass door and held up a hand like don’t come in.  Almost immediately the owner showed up and they had a closed door meeting for over an hour. I walked by a couple of times and it looked serious but Owner looked more confused than anything…..

Before lunch manager comes out and tells me he is leaving and taking the rest of the week off.  No anger.  Seriously the Anger is gone and it is the depths of depression.  I just acted all cheery and said well enjoy your time off (he has like 56 hours of pto).

After I got back from lunch he was gone and Owner talked to me for about an hour. Manager is just……going through something.  I mean, nothing specific but he just is having a rough time. He is going to go seek some help I think…..so don’t quote I will delete some of this. 
 

Owner and I both feel there is a good chance he will quit……and I guess this is happening at a ‘good’ time in that one of Owners big projects has finished up and the next phase doesn’t need much from him just yet…..part of our conversation was the business in general….and I said,  ‘why don’t you sell it?’ And then I immediately said ‘ not that I want to be out of a job’…and he said, ‘oh there would be something for you’…….which honestly made my freaking day. 
 

He apologized again for the stress this is putting on me….and I reassured him that my stress was mostly from before I talked to him and now I am ok and I just feel like I am watching train cars run off the track.  
 


 

  • Like 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

45 minutes ago, klmama said:

You have a good boss.  I hope the manager can work out whatever he's going through.  As hard as it is for everyone else to have to deal with his emotions, it must be even worse for him.

Yes, I feel very very bad for manager.  

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well it’s been a blissful 2 and 1/2 days.  I was doing a lot because the owner tends to give me a bunch of stuff to do.  But there was zero stress.  He is the type who will open the door from shop to office and say ‘call customer and ask XYZ’….I get a lot of flyby instructions and tasks which I love. Manager texted me one time to say a customer was texting  his cell and would I call customer.  And I think I had to contact him one time about a shipment that didn’t make sense….but that was it.  
 

Now a 3 day weekend and then we will see what happens.  

  • Like 8
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...