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We are moving to Europe-help! What have we done


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I have posted a few times about how Dh and I don’t really like where we live, but we have moved a few times (and always liked those places) and we want to settle down for our boys. Anyway, back in February (that month you should never make decisions) Dh applied for a promotion in Europe and found out yesterday he got it. We won’t go until the beginning of the 2022-2023 school year. 
 

I am super excited for everyone in our family except ds15. He loves baseball and there really isn’t any baseball where we are going. Dh said since he will be 16 when we go, we should let him decide if he wants to stay somewhere in the US to play. We can evaluate closer to the time based on how good he is and how much he loves it then. 
 

I was pretty excited yesterday but now I am like what have we done???

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Hurray! We just moved back from Germany a few months ago. Please feel free to pm me anything specific you might think of asking, if you don't want to ask here. I hope you love it. We miss it already. 

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What an exciting opportunity!  There is going to be something gained and lost for everyone in the family. As fun as baseball can be, it should only be one factor among many that make a decision to separate a minor child from their parents.

On a personal note; I enjoyed fastball all through my youth and then moved to Norway for 4 years. There was no fastball, but there were a lot of sports, outdoor activities and other experiences to enjoy. I got a chance to play an interesting variation of American baseball in Finland, where you run around the bases in the opposite direction.  When I returned to North American one of the first things I did was join a fastball league. 

The nice thing about baseball/fastball is that there are adult leagues pretty much anywhere in North America, and he can always return to playing when you move back to the US one day. 

 

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27 minutes ago, lovinmyboys said:

Anyway, back in February (that month you should never make decisions)

😂 So true.

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*jealous, jealous, jealous*

That’s all I have to say about that. 
 

 

jk! Wonderful! I would try to convince ds to come to Europe for a year or two; benefits may outweigh no baseball. He may discover another sport he loves as much and is as good at. 

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Posted (edited)

What an awesome opportunity! Moving with older kids is definitely tough. Some military families leave their oldest children behind (usually seniors) with family or friends to finish school with peers. Others happily tag along. It all works out in the end.

I had the same feelings about living to Bahrain...WHAT WAS I THINKING?! And yet it turned out to be one of our best experiences! The travel opportunities were priceless and amazing. I wish you the best of luck with your move!!

Edited by Sneezyone
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16 minutes ago, Homeschool Mom in AZ said:

No way would I let a kid pass up an international living opportunity with their family in order to play sportsball or other hobby/enrichment activity of any kind. 

He may even find that a year or two playing another hand-eye sport could enhance his game.

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1 minute ago, Laura Corin said:

He may even find that a year or two playing another hand-eye sport could enhance his game.

True.  Those kinds of skills tend to be transferable, and doing them in a new context can bring an attentiveness that could pay off big time. 

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Sounds awesome. Congrats.

I will join in the chorus and say no way pass up an opportunity to live in another country for sports for your son. There are things that living in another country, immersing oneself in another culture that teach a person especially when they are young that cannot be quantified and it stays a lifetime. 

 

 

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Another one on the take oldest with you team. Learning how to live in and adapt to another culture is an amazing life lesson with invaluable impact. It inherently has the potential of changing the way you see yourself, your home country, and people of the world in ways that nothing else can, and can build understanding and empathy. It's a big adjustment for everybody, but it's worth it. Some of our children grew up in three countries outside of their home country, others two. They are all richer for it. Besides, I think it would always make him feel a little left out (even if he thinks he wants to stay here) and separate from the others when the family is discussing the experiences and the places later on.

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Congratulations!  It sounds like a great opportunity!  I hope after some time your son also thinks it is a great opportunity and looks forward to going.  

I think international travel, and living abroad, is a fantastic opportunity for growth and enrichment.  I don't know how serious your son is about baseball, but I can see how his growth in that area may outweigh the development that comes from living abroad, especially if he has the opportunity for an extended visit to Europe.  DH had a father that moved a great deal as he was growing up, including spending some time working/living in Europe.  He looks favorably on many of those experiences, but the one regret that he talks about was a move duirng his high schools years which really interfered with his playinb baseball.  

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Posted (edited)

I can understand saying no way if your family has been relatively stable and not moved a lot but, yeah, if you have...no way isn't really a thing. My oldest has moved 10 times and might have to move again before she graduates. That's just...not cool...no matter the country. Moving overseas cost DD competitive gymnastics and it turned out that gym was a significant outlet for her. It's absence was detrimental academically and socially. Every family and child is different. For us, on balance, going overseas together was the right call but we are still dealing with the consequences and, if we have to move overseas again, DD won't be coming along. From what I've seen of families who've done this (and I know several), it's a lot harder on Mom and Dad than the student. The students usually have a wonderful time but Mom and Dad miss the senior year festivities.

Edited by Sneezyone
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Can I just say kudos to you and your dh for considering the consequences of being uprooted for your teenage son? My husband and I both were forced to moved in the middle of high school. He was heavily into sports and I was heavily into music. We had our networks built and were locally well known for our skill in our respective areas.  We both had offers from family and friends to allow us to finish high school by living with them but our parents declined. We both had to give up opportunities to further ourselves in our talent areas because the same opportunities were not available where we moved to, especially when we had to rebuild our networks from scratch. We both resent that we were not allowed to finish out high school where we started.

Now, that said, I did have the opportunity to live overseas later on in life. I agree that living overseas can be the opportunity of a lifetime. It was amazing, my kids loved it (though they were all elementary age at the time) and overall, I would highly recommend it if you are given the opportunity. But I would absolutely give a teenager the option to finish high school in the states if that is what they wanted to do and the support network was available for them to do so. Nothing says they cannot come visit you overseas or take a gap year living with you after graduation, which is still an opportunity that many people don't get. 

Just my experience. Your mileage may vary. I just wanted to let you know that I love that you and your husband are aware and willing to consider the impact for your teenage son. Good luck with your move! I would love the opportunity to go explore more of Europe!

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Unless your son is seriously heading towards a professional career or at least a scholarship - and I suggest you take a very sober look at the stats if you think he might be - then I'd go with taking him with you. He can always join an adult sportsball team when he gets back.

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I will post where it is when it is official. Dh was told yesterday, but it won’t be announced until the end of the month. We haven’t told anyone IRL yet. 

I think we are going to wait until next summer to decide about our oldest ds. I’m hoping he can live with us then come back to play baseball for his club team in the summer. 
 

We are so surprised! Dh really thought it was a long shot. Hopefully they didn’t call the wrong person yesterday, lol. 

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Congratulations! Moving overseas with children comes with amazing benefits, but also big downsides. 

I recommend read the book Third Culture Kid to give a good discussion of the positives and negatives. 

 

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