Marriage CC

[IfIOnly]

I applied for a job today. I haven't worked outside the home in 20 years.

I haven't known what to say. DH seems to have taken to heart the counsel and has stopped the abusive language. He's really never had people call him in stuff and seems to be responding. I just don't know what to make if it and am just waiting and watching.  There's still the narcissism though and mental illness and it sucks and is hard. It's really hard to be in a relationship with someone who is incapable. Hopefully working will give me space and a break from the crazy and then I can go from there with what I want and am able to do. Did I say it's hard? It's exhausting.

 

[cintinative]

Continuing prayers for you

[bolt.]

Getting a job will be a positive step for you. (Be sure to set up your pay into an account of your own.)

[egao_gakari]

I'm glad to hear that there has been a respite from the abusive language at any rate. I've been thinking about you a lot. I'll keep up my prayers for you and the situation.

[IfIOnly]

9 minutes ago, bolt. said:

Getting a job will be a positive step for you. (Be sure to set up your pay into an account of your own.)

Yes, thank you. I won't be using my pay for bills or anything. Saving generally for now or possibly for Christian school tuition for the kids. At least for the high schoolers. I'm putting my work availability from 2 pm on for now. Weekends are more flexible. DH works from home and can do the afternoon, evening shift 

Edited May 28, 2021 by IfIOnly

[ktgrok]

Are you getting counseling on your own?

[IfIOnly]

3 hours ago, ktgrok said:

Are you getting counseling on your own?

No, not right now. There are some obstacles to this. Maybe in the future.

[cintinative]

Praying that those obstacles can be removed.  Counseling is so very important.  I just want to encourage you that because of the pandemic there are more options for counseling than before. There are many counselors that will do virtual appointments now so the added drive time plus babysitter issues are less. The hard part about doing it at home is privacy, especially if you have young kids, and because your husband works from home.  You could consider creative solutions like taking it from your car in the garage/driveway if that helps.   

[Innisfree]

Good for you for applying for a job. If this one doesn't work out, keep trying. I'll second the comment about keeping the money in your own account, where you have sole control over it.

2 hours ago, cintinative said:

Counseling is so very important.  I just want to encourage you that because of the pandemic there are more options for counseling than before. There are many counselors that will do virtual appointments now so the added drive time plus babysitter issues are less. The hard part about doing it at home is privacy, especially if you have young kids, and because your husband works from home.  You could consider creative solutions like taking it from your car in the garage/driveway if that helps.   

This is good advice.