How you refer to your own dog - question

[Tap]

She or her. Her name is Honey (she came to us with the name) but I often call her Honey Bear because she is curly and cozy like a teddy bear. I have family who are transgender and who use gender neutral pronouns. It wouldn't occur to me to assume a dog identifies as a gender. 

I guess, if I was going to start assuming my dog cared if I called her 'it', then maybe I should consider if it is rude to refer to her in the 3rd person when she is in the room also. Hmmm. 

[rocassie]

I wish we had a good neutral 3rd personal singular pronoun.  Many times I don't actually use a pronoun.  I will say "that dog", "that bird", "the neighbor's dog," etc.  However, I will use it when then going on to say something additional.  Like yesterday, I said, "What is that squirrel doing, it is chattering like crazy."  We don't have pets so I've never thought of animals as family.

[Tap]

Just now, rocassie said:

I wish we had a good neutral 3rd personal singular pronoun.  Many times I don't actually use a pronoun.  I will say "that dog", "that bird", "the neighbor's dog," etc.  However, I will use it when then going on to say something additional.  Like yesterday, I said, "What is that squirrel doing, it is chattering like crazy."  We don't have pets so I've never thought of animals as family.

I know what you mean, but we do. They, Them, Their have always been appropriate. 

Who left their coat on the chair? They left their coat on the chair. 

 

Some people prefer to use alternatives:

PREFERRED GENDER PRONOUN/ PERSONAL PRONOUNS

Ze/Per/Hir/They  – Pronouns used in the trans community instead of “he/she” or “him/her.” These pronouns offer inclusion and accuracy for someone who doesn’t identify by the male/female gender classifications. Note: Not all trans people use these pronouns; many use “he” or “she.”

[Hir:  (here)  A non-gender specific pronoun used instead of “her” and “him.” 

Sie or Ze:  (see or zee)  A non-gender specific pronoun used instead of “she” and “he.” 

Ve:  (vee)  A non-gender specific pronoun used instead of “she” and “he.”]

[Janeway]

Depends....did “it” poop in my bedroom or did he/she do something cute?

[Amy in NH]

I call him a big doofus.

[Indigo Blue]

This wasn’t his name, but I always called him Boo Boo as a nickname. Little old, rescue chihuahua that slowly went lame. I miss that baby each and every day. He definitely did not need to be called “it”. He lived to be 18. Best dog ever. He was a little chihuahua with the personality of a golden retriever.

No...I’ve never known anyone who referred to their dog as “it”.

Edited April 28, 2021 by Indigo Blue

[sassenach]

On 4/25/2021 at 1:24 PM, SKL said:

Does anyone you know refer to their own dog (which they've had for at least a month) as "it"?

If so, do you think this is cultural?  Are there cultures where pet dogs are "it" rather than "he" or "she"?

I’ve noticed that some people who are speaking English as a second language get their pronouns all willy nilly, even with people. So in that case I wouldn’t even blink with the use of it. Otherwise, that’s pretty unusual. 

[Emba]

I use he or she for most animals, if I know which it is. I will use “it” for animals when I don’t know which it is, or when it’s not an animal I “know” personally. For example, “The neighbors have a puppy and it is always running out in the road. Poor thing is going to get run over someday.”

When talking about my pets in a general way to new acquaintances, saying “a dog” or “the cat”, I may once in awhile day “it”. Like, “Yeah, we have a cat. It’s an outside cat, though.” But if I were talking to my good friend who already knows about my cat, I would say “No, we don’t let him in the house.” And when I say “it”, I notice and it feels weird.

 What used to bug me was that my grandma used to call babies “it” a lot, even when she knew gender. I chalked it up to a generational difference.

[teachermom2834]

I am not an animal person at all but we did get my animal loving dd a dog a year ago. I am still not an animal person and will probably never own another one after dd moves out. But I do love that dog. I do make sure that dog has everything a doggie could ever need. I think she is adorable and I have posted pictures of her on here. 
 

I have also caught myself calling her “it” a few times. I actually have accidentally called her “he”. I catch myself both times and it really just feels like when I accidentally call kids by their wrong names or call the dog by a kid name. 

I do love that doggie. But you could overhear me call her “it”. I don’t know what to tell you though I know y’all think I’m a bad person now. 
 

 

[Scarlett]

12 minutes ago, teachermom2834 said:

I am not an animal person at all but we did get my animal loving dd a dog a year ago. I am still not an animal person and will probably never own another one after dd moves out. But I do love that dog. I do make sure that dog has everything a doggie could ever need. I think she is adorable and I have posted pictures of her on here. 
 

I have also caught myself calling her “it” a few times. I actually have accidentally called her “he”. I catch myself both times and it really just feels like when I accidentally call kids by their wrong names or call the dog by a kid name. 

I do love that doggie. But you could overhear me call her “it”. I don’t know what to tell you though I know y’all think I’m a bad person now. 
 

 

I just came on here to say that clearly people who refer to animals as 'it' must have serial killer tendencies.  LOL Hopefully my joking comes through.  My co-worker and I were just talking about the way animals are viewed so differently now compared to when we were kids.  Sometimes I think we have swung too far. But oh, well, I do love my pets.

[Indigo Blue]

18 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

I just came on here to say that clearly people who refer to animals as 'it' must have serial killer tendencies.  LOL Hopefully my joking comes through.  My co-worker and I were just talking about the way animals are viewed so differently now compared to when we were kids.  Sometimes I think we have swung too far. But oh, well, I do love my pets.

Yeah, I get that. But I have to say, and just speaking only for myself here, I just can’t imagine what I would do without them. They get me through the most difficult and painful times. Sons going off to college, hurtful family dynamics, and much more. And they need me just as much .......one found in town walking in the middle of the street, one found where I was volunteering and was going to just be left there at the end of the day, half starved. They literally have given me light in my life. And I take comfort that they won’t ever see another day of suffering, which is a small compensation in comparison to what they give me. 
 

I totally agree with your post, though. We have swung far in the other direction. Things definitely have changed in that regard. I just got really deep.......sorry about that.😊

[gardenmom5]

we refer to 1dd's two dogs as "the boys" or "the lads".

[Selkie]

1 hour ago, Scarlett said:

I just came on here to say that clearly people who refer to animals as 'it' must have serial killer tendencies.  LOL Hopefully my joking comes through.  My co-worker and I were just talking about the way animals are viewed so differently now compared to when we were kids.  Sometimes I think we have swung too far. But oh, well, I do love my pets.

I don't think we've swung too far. Some people seem stuck on the notion that humans are better or more important, but I don't find us to be all that great compared to other species.🙂

[Scarlett]

5 minutes ago, Selkie said:

I don't think we've swung too far. Some people seem stuck on the notion that humans are better or more important, but I don't find us to be all that great compared to other species.🙂

I don't know what I would do without my pets.  Especially this newest one has helped me through the darkest almost 2 years of my life. 

[Granny_Weatherwax]

We've had 4 dogs as pets throughout our marriage Three have been referred to as he/him and she/her. One we do use 'it' frequently when we refer to her. She was a backyard bred beagle. Her mother and father were sister and brother and the inbreeding in her family line was astonishing. The AKC actually revoked the papers for our puppy's litter and all dogs lost AKC eligibility. This dog had so many problems a professional trainer was no help. None of us formed a bond with it and we ended up giving it away. Even writing this I default to 'it' and not 'she'. 

I am currently considering adding a new puppy to our family and, in conversation, the rest of the family refers to him as 'it'. "Have you called about it yet?" "Are you going to get it?" "Are you going to change its name?" I refer to him as him or it, depending on if it's a positive or negative comment.  "He's exactly what I'm looking for." "It's too expensive."  "I would love to have him as a companion." "I really don't want to clean up after it." But I believe the OP indicated having the dog for a minimum of a month so I assume referring to him as an it at this time of indecision keeps me out of the sociopath category.

My current pup (14 years old) is affectionately referred to as "old man" or "Baby." He doesn't seem to mind my inconsistency as long as I keep doling out Milkbones.

[Terabith]

6 minutes ago, Granny_Weatherwax said:

We've had 4 dogs as pets throughout our marriage Three have been referred to as he/him and she/her. One we do use 'it' frequently when we refer to her. She was a backyard bred beagle. Her mother and father were sister and brother and the inbreeding in her family line was astonishing. The AKC actually revoked the papers for our puppy's litter and all dogs lost AKC eligibility. This dog had so many problems a professional trainer was no help. None of us formed a bond with it and we ended up giving it away. Even writing this I default to 'it' and not 'she'. 

I am currently considering adding a new puppy to our family and, in conversation, the rest of the family refers to him as 'it'. "Have you called about it yet?" "Are you going to get it?" "Are you going to change its name?" I refer to him as him or it, depending on if it's a positive or negative comment.  "He's exactly what I'm looking for." "It's too expensive."  "I would love to have him as a companion." "I really don't want to clean up after it." But I believe the OP indicated having the dog for a minimum of a month so I assume referring to him as an it at this time of indecision keeps me out of the sociopath category.

My current pup (14 years old) is affectionately referred to as "old man" or "Baby." He doesn't seem to mind my inconsistency as long as I keep doling out Milkbones.

I just want to say that I love the name @Granny_Weatherwax!

[Granny_Weatherwax]

3 minutes ago, Terabith said:

I just want to say that I love the name @Granny_Weatherwax!

Thanks.

Are you a Pratchett fan? I mourned when GW passed away and commissioned a charm with "I ate'nt dead" from an Etsy shop.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

7 minutes ago, Terabith said:

I just want to say that I love the name @Granny_Weatherwax!

And, to bring my literary and canine lives in sync, the aforementioned puppy under consideration will be named after one of Granny Aching's dogs. 

[Terabith]

2 minutes ago, Granny_Weatherwax said:

Thanks.

Are you a Pratchett fan? I mourned when GW passed away and commissioned a charm with "I ate'nt dead" from an Etsy shop.

Very much so!  That's wonderful!

[Dmmetler]

You hear a lot of they/them from animal bio folks of gender is either not clear or is not relevant. And among microbiologists-good luck figuring out what gender a slime mold is...