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Posted

So life here is pretty normal. The Shakespeare Festival as well as karaoke nights at restaurants, outside big events, restaurants at 100 percent, etc. I see no difference since before the pandemic with the exception of a few people wearing masks at Walmart. No businesses I went to this past week had anyone wearing a mask. We are remodeling and went around to different places. For those of you that said to choose a different business, we went to carpet stores in 3 different towns, 2 plumbing supply places in two towns, etc. Covid did not affect my town very much.  Most of those that got it, it was a non-event.

I am still wearing my mask. No one says anything. But in one more week I will be fully protected. 

I am getting left behind in friend groups and activities. 

I do not have a clue what to do. Still avoid renaissance festivals? Buy a ticket but don't go to the Shakespeare Festival? 

I need to interact. I do not want to infect anyone. I don't particularly want to get it.

That said, husband and son at home are done. They are just doing life as normal.  They are tired of my "the sky is falling." 

How do you decide what is safe? How do you have friends? I am just at a loss.

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Posted (edited)

Once my 2 weeks are up (post vax), I'm doing whatever I want (that's allowed, obviously).   I will still wear a mask at the stores until more people are vaxxed in my area (frankly, I like masks).   Outdoor festivals, seeing friends, etc?  Yep, I'd definitely go.  Have fun and enjoy being with other people.   

Edited by WildflowerMom
  • Like 12
Posted (edited)

Once we're all fully vaccinated, I'm planning to feel free to do outside activities, and select indoor activities based on current guidelines and my own comfort level. That will mean no dawdling in crowded shopping areas, but relatively short trips early in the day should probably be fine. We'll still be masked, since that's mandatory here and everyone masks.

I've already signed dd2 up for a class she's missed over the last year, starting a week after her second shot. It's in a fairly new, large space which I think has good ventilation, and the instructor says people can spread out. I think it should be fine.

I'm fine with either girl taking on a summer job or volunteer work once they're vaccinated.

Until numbers are down sharply in our area, I don't think I'll feel comfortable dining out indoors. That's not really a problem for us. Lots of restaurants have good outdoor seating. Karaoke is not my style under any circumstances, so no loss there, lol.

So, basically, following guidelines, outside activities are fine, mask stays on, still minimizing indoor crowds.

I should add-- this is my comfort zone. I think you and your family will have to decide what yours is.

Edited by Innisfree
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Posted
10 minutes ago, Innisfree said:

 

So, basically, following guidelines, outside activities are fine, mask stays on, still minimizing indoor crowds.

 

The guidelines here are everything open 100 percent. Wear a mask if you feel like it. I just know I will struggle to continue to be the only one masked after I am vaccinated. 

Posted
3 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

The guidelines here are everything open 100 percent. Wear a mask if you feel like it. I just know I will struggle to continue to be the only one masked after I am vaccinated. 

Why? If the guidelines says that you wear a mask if you feel like it, what is wrong in wearing it? Do you think that you will be ostracized because of it? If so, are these the people who you want to hang out with? If you are sensitive to their judgements (which you should not be) then just say that you have some health issues and hence would like to keep the mask on. That should do it.

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Posted (edited)

I know this whole time has been hard for you, as you've been out of step with your community. If you're trying to figure out what your moral responsibility is now, I'd say that by being vaccinated, getting your family vaccinated, and being ready to return to more stringent guidelines if your community needs them, you've done your part. I still think masks are smart indoors. I keep editing this part, trying to get it right. I think wearing masks indoors is best. But, I'm not where you are.

19 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

The guidelines here are everything open 100 percent. Wear a mask if you feel like it. I just know I will struggle to continue to be the only one masked after I am vaccinated. 

My formatting got screwed up here, sorry.

Do you mean you'll be self-conscious?

Will people you care about really be critical of wearing a mask? Or is it more a case of overanalyzing and anxiety?

Edited by Innisfree
Clarity
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Posted (edited)

Once we are fully vaccinated, we will see our adult kids indoors unmasked, will get together with vaccinated friends indoors, will attend outdoor concerts. Will teach in normal occupancy classroom. May attend the theater, masked. I will continue to mask in public indoor spaces like stores.

We won't be dining indoors or attending large indoor events for the foreseeable future. No overseas travel until most humans have been vaccinated or the infection numbers are way down. 

Edited by regentrude
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Posted

I think for the sake of your mental health getting back to normal once you’re vaccinated would be the right thing?  I’m sorry your friends are being judgy about the masking.

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Posted

I'm fully vaxed and DH is getting his second on the 24th. I'm prepared to get back to normal as much as is legally allowed. Here in NJ, though, I wouldn't be surprised if we have mask mandates for another year.  Moving to PA in the fall -- maybe they will lift them before NJ, who knows.  Anyway, the only thing that I am concerned about at this point is taking the kids on a plane or to a very crowded indoor event.  I won't do that.  But time with friends?  Absolutely, yes.  And we will stop wearing masks when the mandates are lifted.  

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Posted

Honestly, my goal was to not overwhelm hospitals so I started living more this spring long before I was vaccinated. I would choose outdoor activities and still masked and avoided things that required unmasking, eating, indoors etc but yes I did things and allowed my children to also.

 

The majority of people in nursing homes and at risk who want vaxxed have been in my area. Now that I am vaccinated I will gather indoors with people more. I really don't see our hospitals being overwhelmed anytime soon. If they struggle this winter again I will step up my attempts to not be a vector. 

  • Like 6
Posted

If rates in your area are low-stable or falling, and you are fully vaccinated, I'd encourage you to do outdoor activities, or private indoor activities with other fully vaccinated people. 

You don't want to lose out on a window where life is safer through excessive caution.  None of us know how things will pan out over the next year or so - it could be prudent to restrict activity at a point in the future - disruption to booster supplies, variant etc - so jump in when you can. 

Vaccinated/summer/outdoors = very low risk. 

Keep the masks for planes, trains and when you're sick or sniffly with other things, just as a courtesy. 

  • Like 8
Posted
8 minutes ago, Melissa Louise said:

If rates in your area are low-stable or falling, and you are fully vaccinated, I'd encourage you to do outdoor activities, or private indoor activities with other fully vaccinated people. 

You don't want to lose out on a window where life is safer through excessive caution.  None of us know how things will pan out over the next year or so - it could be prudent to restrict activity at a point in the future - disruption to booster supplies, variant etc - so jump in when you can. 

Vaccinated/summer/outdoors = very low risk. 

Keep the masks for planes, trains and when you're sick or sniffly with other things, just as a courtesy. 

But most of my friends are not vaccinating. 

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Posted
1 minute ago, TexasProud said:

But most of my friends are not vaccinating. 

Realistically, you are the only person who can make this decision for yourself. 

Personally, I won’t be hanging around with unvaccinated friends, and I will still be masking for the foreseeable future, but I can’t tell you what to do. I will say, though, that when in doubt, it’s probably better to err on the side of caution. 

 

 

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Posted
Just now, Catwoman said:

Realistically, you are the only person who can make this decision for yourself. 

Personally, I won’t be hanging around with unvaccinated friends, and I will still be masking for the foreseeable future, but I can’t tell you what to do. I will say, though, that when in doubt, it’s probably better to err on the side of caution. 

 

 

Then I will have almost no one to hang out with and no activities to go to.

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Posted
Just now, TexasProud said:

But most of my friends are not vaccinating. 

Ah...

I mean, don't go to karaoke with them! But outdoor festivals...ok, I'd think? Eat in places that have outdoor dining? Go for walks instead of coffee?

Idk. I mean, you're protected from death or serious illness to a large extent by your vaccination - you masking or isolating protects them from the tiny risk you could still infect them, I guess, but they are clearly ok with risk. And as a vaccinated person, you are way less of a risk for spreading the virus than they are!

I can't see a reason for you not to at least do some outdoor socialising over summer. 

  • Like 10
Posted (edited)
6 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

Then I will have almost no one to hang out with and no activities to go to.

Outdoor activities are pretty safe. We have been getting together with individual friends outside and distanced since last summer: hikes, walks, firepit gatherings, drinks on the porch. Once I am vaccinated, I feel comfortable to gather in groups.

Edited by regentrude
  • Like 7
Posted
3 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

Then I will have almost no one to hang out with and no activities to go to.

That is something to consider when making your decision. 

And I know you’re feeling sorry for yourself, but join the club. Most of us are facing the exact same circumstances you are dealing with. Please don’t think I’m unsympathetic, but you seem to do a lot of whining about this, and in the end, you have to make this decision for yourself and live with the consequences. No one can fix this for you; we are all trying to make the best of a tough situation.

  • Like 3
Posted (edited)
2 minutes ago, Catwoman said:

That is something to consider when making your decision. 

And I know you’re feeling sorry for yourself, but join the club. Most of us are facing the exact same circumstances you are dealing with. Please don’t think I’m unsympathetic, but you seem to do a lot of whining about this, and in the end, you have to make this decision for yourself and live with the consequences. No one can fix this for you; we are all trying to make the best of a tough situation.

This comes across as rather harsh and unkind.

Edited by regentrude
Posted
1 minute ago, Catwoman said:

That is something to consider when making your decision. 

And I know you’re feeling sorry for yourself, but join the club. Most of us are facing the exact same circumstances you are dealing with. Please don’t think I’m unsympathetic, but you seem to do a lot of whining about this, and in the end, you have to make this decision for yourself and live with the consequences. No one can fix this for you; we are all trying to make the best of a tough situation.

Hugs, Cat. I know it's really hard for families like yours who must continue to be as careful as possible. May better days come for you guys too.

  • Thanks 1
Posted

There is that saying about I thought I had it bad because I had no shoes then I saw someone with no feet...

Some states are so much worse than Texas...

And then look at Ontario, Canada...it is facing increasing restrictions and longer lockdowns, plus expanded power granted to police to question people

https://www.reuters.com/world/americas/covid-19-cases-canadas-most-populous-province-could-treble-cbc-2021-04-16/

The Canadian province of Ontario expanded and extended a stay at home order on Friday and said police will be given new powers to stop and question people who leave home as expert advisors warned that new cases of COVID-19 will continue to soar, overwhelming hospitals.

 

 

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Posted

I am sorry if I whine, but who do I have to vent to.  There is a bridal shower(inside) at the church tomorrow that I would normally be helping with. I really want to go.  I have served often with this sweet couple in various ministries.  Their wedding is in May. Huge outdoor church function outside in a few weeks.  So many other things on the calendar. 

Sorry. I mean Dreamergal’s situation sucks. I know many have it worse.  But I don’t know how to change what I feel, nor do I have anyone to talk to except you.

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Posted
6 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

I am sorry if I whine, but who do I have to vent to.  There is a bridal shower(inside) at the church tomorrow that I would normally be helping with. I really want to go.  I have served often with this sweet couple in various ministries.  Their wedding is in May. Huge outdoor church function outside in a few weeks.  So many other things on the calendar. 

Sorry. I mean Dreamergal’s situation sucks. I know many have it worse.  But I don’t know how to change what I feel, nor do I have anyone to talk to except you.

Are you done with your vaccines?   

Posted

If you have a good mask, I would go to the shower. You are over 80%protected now and the numbers in your area are low, you said. It is incredibly unlikely you would get infected and pass it on at this point. The folks who aren’t vaccinating are taking their own risk. 

  • Like 10
Posted
5 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

I am sorry if I whine, but who do I have to vent to.  There is a bridal shower(inside) at the church tomorrow that I would normally be helping with. I really want to go.  I have served often with this sweet couple in various ministries.  Their wedding is in May. Huge outdoor church function outside in a few weeks.  So many other things on the calendar. 

Sorry. I mean Dreamergal’s situation sucks. I know many have it worse.  But I don’t know how to change what I feel, nor do I have anyone to talk to except you.

You could help with the shower masked. Straight up fib if it makes you feel better - you've got a cold and sin want to risk the bride getting sick. 

Outdoor church function - go. 

What is holding you back? Is it habit, or fear that you will get sick, or that you'll spread Covid, or....

  • Like 5
Posted (edited)

This article might put your mind at rest re outdoors. 

https://slate.com/technology/2021/04/masks-outside-covid-risk-low.amp?__twitter_impression=true

Try and recalibrate your risk perceptions. The risk of you spreading Covid to someone else in an outdoor environment is very low.  Its just a novel risk, which is why it paralyses you, as opposed to the risk of harming yourself and others through driving your car, which doesn't. 

Outdoors is low risk. 

Being vaccinated makes you a lower risk for spreading the virus.

 

Edited by Melissa Louise
  • Like 5
Posted

People on here say it is irresponsible.  I am one week past my 2nd shot.  I dont want to cause a 4th wave.  I want to have fun snd enjoy myself without a damn mask like everyone else.  I want to laugh and have a great time and not worry about consequences. But life isnt about doing what you want, but caring for others. 

Posted
2 minutes ago, freesia said:

If you have a good mask, I would go to the shower. You are over 80%protected now and the numbers in your area are low, you said. It is incredibly unlikely you would get infected and pass it on at this point. The folks who aren’t vaccinating are taking their own risk. 

Has she had a vax?  I can't keep everyone straight. 🙇🏻‍♀️

yes, @TexasProud, go.  Go to the shower tomorrow.  Wear a mask, unless you're fully vaxxed, then you can forgo it if you really want to.  Your mental health is as important as anything else and you are obviously struggling (which is normal).  You are vaxing (just can't remember where you are in your vax schedule, but I digress).  Some of your friends and church members are not.  You've done an awesome job masking and taking this seriously.  If they haven't, well??   That has nothing to do with you.    You are not responsible for their decisions regarding risk.   That's between them and their doctor, not you.  So go!  And enjoy yourself!    And Monday morning, call a therapist.   No shame in that!   You're one of many, many people to need one during all of this!!    No one has to know, just go.   You can do it!

  • Like 4
Posted (edited)
19 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

I am sorry if I whine, but who do I have to vent to.  There is a bridal shower(inside) at the church tomorrow that I would normally be helping with. I really want to go.  I have served often with this sweet couple in various ministries.  Their wedding is in May. Huge outdoor church function outside in a few weeks.  So many other things on the calendar. 

Sorry. I mean Dreamergal’s situation sucks. I know many have it worse.  But I don’t know how to change what I feel, nor do I have anyone to talk to except you.

Hugs. I get it. The situation sucks, but feeling that everyone around you does business as usual and you're the only one in your circle who takes Covid seriously must feel doubly isolating.

Outdoor event and you're fully vaccinated? No problem. Shower? Just mask and go.

But I totally understand that having an attitude outside the local norm makes it more difficult than being surrounded by like minded folks.

Edited by regentrude
  • Like 3
Posted
Just now, TexasProud said:

People on here say it is irresponsible.  I am one week past my 2nd shot.  I dont want to cause a 4th wave.  I want to have fun snd enjoy myself without a damn mask like everyone else.  I want to laugh and have a great time and not worry about consequences. But life isnt about doing what you want, but caring for others. 

You also have to care for yourself.    I don't think someone who's had 2 vaccines and is a week past the second one is going to cause a 4th wave.  

  • Like 13
Posted
Just now, TexasProud said:

People on here say it is irresponsible.  I am one week past my 2nd shot.  I dont want to cause a 4th wave.  I want to have fun snd enjoy myself without a damn mask like everyone else.  I want to laugh and have a great time and not worry about consequences. But life isnt about doing what you want, but caring for others. 

You also have to care for yourself. 

You are not going to be responsible for a 4th wave. 

A reasonable middle path is this:

Mask (to continue to protect yourself) for another week. 

Two weeks post vaccination, begin to introduce small to medium outdoor gatherings, with or without a mask. 

Continue to assess relative risk as time goes on. Introduce indoor socialising as and if you feel comfortable.  

Stay away from events with the potential to spread - big indoor events. 

  • Like 4
Posted

It's two weeks past Moderna, but if you got Pfizer, you only need to be one week past it for peak efficacy.  The public "line" is two weeks past because it's simpler to say that for all of them, but really, Pfizer is one week and Johnson and Johnson is four weeks.  

  • Like 3
  • Thanks 1
Posted
1 minute ago, Terabith said:

It's two weeks past Moderna, but if you got Pfizer, you only need to be one week past it for peak efficacy.  The public "line" is two weeks past because it's simpler to say that for all of them, but really, Pfizer is one week and Johnson and Johnson is four weeks.  

What?!?!?  For real???  🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼   That means Tuesday, I'm good to go!   Not that I'm going anywhere, but still!  I'm good if I want to go!   Omg, I just got teary-eyed! 

  • Like 8
Posted
1 minute ago, Melissa Louise said:

Oh, and 'people on here'?  Just people! Useful sometimes, but The Hive has no actual moral or other authority! 

 

Speak for yourself.  😆😆😆.  I'm teasing, just lightening the mood. 😉

  • Haha 7
Posted
2 hours ago, TexasProud said:

The guidelines here are everything open 100 percent. Wear a mask if you feel like it. I just know I will struggle to continue to be the only one masked after I am vaccinated. 

Unless you're wearing an N95, your wearing a mask isn't helping you.

Posted
5 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

I'd guess masks help you as well as others, if not as much as a N95? I'd assume it's not binary. 

Wearing a cloth mask helps others way more than it helps you.  So not binary, but not fifty fifty.

  • Like 1
Posted
Just now, EKS said:

Wearing a cloth mask helps others way more than it helps you.  So not binary, but not fifty fifty.

Yeah, I've seen that. I think there are lots of in-between areas, though -- like, wearing a medical mask with an imperfect fit is probably protecting one somewhat. Or wearing a commercial mask with a filter. 

Anyway, sorry, I'm nitpicking here. 

  • Like 1
Posted
2 minutes ago, kand said:

While even a multi-layer cloth mask that fits well can provide significant protection even to the wearer (though I agree it's even more protective to others), there are some very good high-filtration masks available to consumers easily now. I like KF94s because you can find them with adjustable ear loops so you can wear them very snug, and the design seems to fit most faces very well.

I'd be thrilled if this is correct.

Posted
41 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

People on here say it is irresponsible.  I am one week past my 2nd shot.  I dont want to cause a 4th wave.  I want to have fun snd enjoy myself without a damn mask like everyone else.  I want to laugh and have a great time and not worry about consequences. But life isnt about doing what you want, but caring for others. 

Some people on here would say it is, I suppose.  I live a state that has been pretty strict, but even here they have found safe ways to do things ( even indoors.). Some people want no risk. Some are comfortable with minimal risk. Have you read about how the mRNA are showing excellent protection two weeks after the first shot?  Masked and only one week from full vaccination status in a low transmission area you are so far from being someone to set off a fourth wave. You are never going to please everyone. 

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Posted

Just an update from my friend that is front line covid ICU doctor .  Despite her hospital system being at 110% capacity, she has ZERO covid patients that were fully vaccinated.  She says the vaccines are working.

  • Like 21
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Posted
1 hour ago, TexasProud said:

People on here say it is irresponsible.  I am one week past my 2nd shot.  I dont want to cause a 4th wave.  I want to have fun snd enjoy myself without a damn mask like everyone else.  I want to laugh and have a great time and not worry about consequences. But life isnt about doing what you want, but caring for others. 

 

I know it’s very hard. I know you want to do the right thing and I absolutely appreciate it that you are trying to care for others and keep them safe.  But it also seems like your own mental health is really suffering here, and you need to weigh your own mental and emotional needs, as well. 

Look, in my case, my family is vaccinated, but we still need to be very careful because the vaccines aren’t proving to be very effective for organ transplant recipients — in some cases, the efficacy is only around 14% — so until we get more information, you bet we will be masking and we will be very selective as to the risks we take. But you and your family don’t have those risk factors, so you can probably allow yourself to do more of the fun things you’d like to do. 

No one appreciates people like you being careful even after they are vaccinated more than I do. It truly means the world to me because people like you are helping keep people like my dh safer. But I don’t want you to give up everything you love in your life in order to do it, and my dh wouldn’t want that, either. That’s not fair to you. If you want to compromise, choose a few activities that matter to you and just do those — and you can wear your mask so you are still helping protect yourself and others. It’s a win-win situation if you do that, and it will help ease you back into more of a normal life again.

Seriously, stop being so hard on yourself. No one expects you to be perfect. We all know you’re doing your best — and in an environment where you are in the minority and other people think it’s stupid to mask and to be careful, your best is already more than good enough. When I told you earlier to stop whining, I know that was harsh, but I think you need the proverbial “snap out of it!” to get you to stop worrying so much about shouldering the world’s problems, and to focus a little bit more on doing what’s best for your own mental health. 

 

  • Like 8
Posted
32 minutes ago, Ottakee said:

Just an update from my friend that is front line covid ICU doctor .  Despite her hospital system being at 110% capacity, she has ZERO covid patients that were fully vaccinated.  She says the vaccines are working.

Thank you! I have heard that from a few other people, as well, and it’s so encouraging!

Posted
1 hour ago, TexasProud said:

People on here say it is irresponsible.  I am one week past my 2nd shot.  I dont want to cause a 4th wave.  I want to have fun snd enjoy myself without a damn mask like everyone else.  I want to laugh and have a great time and not worry about consequences. But life isnt about doing what you want, but caring for others. 

Please hear this with a virtual hug and all the concern I can get into my tone.

You have a tendency to read extremes into what people say.  I don’t think there’s anyone here who would say it’s irresponsible to attend an outdoor event after you’re vaccinated.

  • Like 14
Posted
2 hours ago, Melissa Louise said:

Hugs, Cat. I know it's really hard for families like yours who must continue to be as careful as possible. May better days come for you guys too.

Thank you!!!  

  • Like 1
Posted
2 hours ago, TexasProud said:

I am sorry if I whine, but who do I have to vent to.  There is a bridal shower(inside) at the church tomorrow that I would normally be helping with. I really want to go.  I have served often with this sweet couple in various ministries.  Their wedding is in May. Huge outdoor church function outside in a few weeks.  So many other things on the calendar. 

Sorry. I mean Dreamergal’s situation sucks. I know many have it worse.  But I don’t know how to change what I feel, nor do I have anyone to talk to except you.

Feel free to PM me, Tex. 

Posted (edited)

I continue to say what I've always said - I'm not worried about me and my kids catching Covid, I'm concerned about us spreading it.

That said, I don't really see a lot changing where I live, because a lot of people in the risk groups are not getting vaxed.  And, my kids are 14 and there is no current plan for them to get vaxed (thus they are still capable of spreading Covid to at-risk people).  Cases are rising.  So I don't feel we're anywhere close to "back to normal."

They are going to school and doing sports and band, so that is great.  I've never shied away from letting my kids do kid things, which are voluntary (our district has optional all-virtual school still).  They still have to mask and follow certain odd rules, but it's all they've known in their current school.  Full time in-person school is a big improvement over whatever was happening from March 2020 to March 2021.  But "back to normal school" is impossible to define in our case.

My state still has the exact same mask and social distancing mandates we had at the worst point of the pandemic, and there is no change in sight as far as that goes.  I won't wear a mask for long time periods unless I absolutely have to, so we're not doing "fun" things that aren't fun in a mask.  Not that I ever did a lot of that anyway.

I am not ready to go back to church or other things that involve sharing a lot of air with elderly people.  I am not ready to visit my mom without being careful.  Theater?  Not yet.  I don't know when I'll feel ready for those things.

I had my kids tested for antibodies today.  I was hoping they'd have antibodies so I wouldn't worry about them catching and spreading the virus if we visit my mom.  But the tests were negative.  On one hand, I guess that means we might be doing something right, but on the other hand, it means nothing has really changed as far as precautions go.

ETA:  I used to say the priority should be to vax everyone at risk, but knowing how serious the vax side effects can be, I don't say that any more.  I would not want to encourage or pressure a person in fragile health to get a shot with serious side effects.  If they choose it themselves, fine, but it's not risk-free, so I'm not putting it all on them.

Edited by SKL
  • Like 2
Posted
6 minutes ago, Seasider too said:

CW! Good to see you! How is your husband doing? 

He’s doing very well — thanks for asking! 

The Covid situation has been stressful, but in all honesty, I worry about it a lot more than he does. I feel like I have to keep everyone safe, and I have a tendency to go WAY overboard. 

I hope all is well with you!

  • Like 8

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