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My antennae are twinging-should I bring this up with mom?


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I have a homeschool family with three kids. Mom has been concerned about the youngest, and asked me to do the teacher paperwork for a psychoeucational eval recently. I honestly don't see anything major with the youngest. Yes, she learns slower than her two older sibs, but well within the range of typical for her age. 

 

The middle child, though, is very rigid about a lot of things, and if a piece stretches her in the slightest, will quickly shut down, and seems to have a lot of anxiety. An example is that the one she is currently working on shifts the left hand into treble clef for a few bars because it would be hard to read otherwise (and get into ledger line notes that have not been taught yet). For her, this was inconceivable, and she very literally could not read those notes in the left hand, even though they were very familiar in the right hand, and was obviously very frustrated and it was making her more and more anxious. It was also obvious to me that her older brother was very, very, used to talking her and working through such snags (online lesson and mom was not there that day).  Mind you, I use music where the LH is playing in treble clef fairly regularly. In fact, younger sister is playing a piece right now. So this wasn't a new skill at all, but it was coming up in an unexpected place. 

 

I am really wondering if this is a case of a very, very smart girl who is on spectrum and is able to mask well, especially since she is homeschooled. 

 

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I think if there is an opportunity, that it comes up, that it would be good to mention.

But it might not be a good time to bring it up.

It is also extremely touchy to bring it up.

I think if you get to the point where you would be saying "well I have been thinking such and such for years" then that seems too bad!

But if she is already trying to set stuff up with one kid, maybe she is focused on that one kid, and it's too overwhelming to think about the daughter at the same time.  

If she ever shared more about the other kid, I think that could be an opportunity to say things you've noticed.

Really -- I agree with Terabith.  It would be nice but it is just -- so touchy.  

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Do you know for sure that they haven't had the other child evaluated in the past? 

The fact that they are open to evaluations makes it a little safer to mention what you see. I don't know that I'd postulate a diagnosis so much as point out what you see as being unusual. 

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