BakersDozen Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 While I won't make this a JAWM I will say that anyone who gives my "dear, precious mom" or mil any benefit of the doubt is nuts. That being said... My mom now lives 2 streets up. She's a narcissist, a manipulator, and the most selfish person I've ever known. And she's a con artist - time, possessions, money, she'll take whatever she can get from anyone. My mil is a mean-spirited, undermining, manipulative woman. She literally corners my older kids and tells them how deprived their childhoods were, how everything is just so bad and they need to get out of the house as quickly as possible. She's a real treat. Then we have our adopted "grandma" whom we first met in 2004. She has come over almost every week and has taught us to knit/crochet (all of us, boys and me included!). She's traveled with us and attended births that were not c/s. She is everything loving and good and kind. And tonight she told me she has cancer. Ask me how freaking angry I am. Ask me how freaking unfair it is that the one woman who loves us and is a part of our lives in a beautiful way won't be here soon. But the con artist narcissist and the manipulative mil will be. I want to scream. I'm already crying. Haven't told the kids yet (but will leave out the part about my mom/mil, I promise). This woman walks in our door and our home brightens. Everything is set aside and everyone gathers to do a puzzle, drink hot tea, and just enjoy being together. And when she leaves there are smiles and an atmosphere of true happiness. She's just that good of a human being. I am so sad. 65 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 I'm so sorry. What a crappy situation. It is so not fair! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 I'm sorry. What is her prognosis? is it that grim? type of cancer can be a huge difference, as well as the stage. maybe when she passes - you can move with no forwarding address. try to focus on how blessed you have been to have this woman in your life, and more importantly, that your children have had her in their life - many people don't have that. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 I am sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 I am so sorry 😞 hoping for your sake that you still have some time with her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 I am so sorry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 I am so very sorry. 😞 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 I am very sorry. I hope it is one if tge growing cancers for which one of the new treatments ( or old) works for. And there are cancers and cancers. If you don't know which kind, don't assume the worse at all - with new treatments, some previously almost always deadly cancers, like some of the deadly brain tumors, and actually much less deadly now. And there are some cancers that have always been veryming term cancers where peoole live for ten or twenty years mostly normal lives. Life isnt fair. Many hugs to you. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 I am so sorry. I am thankful that your children have had this wonderful “Grandma” in their lives for the time that they have. I agree with previous posters in that current cancer treatments are very promising and some people can add years of quality life, where that was once not possible. Hugs to you. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 I'm so sorry. Life often seems completely unfair and arbitrary. But unless she's told you there is no hope, or that she won't pursue treatment . . please don't bury her just yet. My DH was diagnosed with stage IV cancer almost four years ago, and a notoriously difficult type to treat. And he's still here. Had he been diagnosed with the same cancer just ten years ago in all likelihood he wouldn't still be around four years later. Things really have changed quickly. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
historically accurate Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 I am so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RootAnn Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 I am so sorry for your family & this wonderful lady. It certainly isn't fair. My dad was wonderful & he's gone while my not-nice mom is still around. DH's mom was sweet from all accounts & died of fast moving cancer not long after I met her. FIL is still around & he's a piece of work. So, God wanted the good ones with him, I guess. We had adopted "grandparents" here in town who happily attended birthdays, homeschooling events, and loved on my kids. The "grandpa" got cancer & died within a year of diagnosis. "Grandma" moved away to be near her mom. (They were both young.) We feel their loss keenly every week. Many hugs!! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 I’m so sorry. It doesn’t seem fair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
City Mouse Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 I am so sorry! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoffive Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 I am so sorry. I am sending all the good thoughts and prayers to your "Grandama." I hope that there is some treatment for the cancer that she has and be with your many more years. Sending some hugs to your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 (edited) Many (hugs) Edited March 30, 2021 by happi duck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 I'm so very sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 They will never forget her. She has changed your family forever, and that's beautiful. I'm so sorry. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ealp2009 Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 Wow, I’m so sorry. That is heartbreaking on so many levels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephanier.1765 Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 I am so sorry! One of my grandmothers was narcissistic and my other wasn't involved but we had an adoptive great grandmother who was the light in my mother's life and then in ours. Losing someone like that is huge and I'm sorry and your family are going through this. 💗 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 I'm sorry. It truly does suck how unfair this stuff is. I have examples in my own family, too. It can drive you crazy to think about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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