One day your parents picked you up...

[theelfqueen]

Just heard someone say in a video..

"One day your parents picked you up and put you down .... and then they never did again."

Oh my. That made me all kinds of wistful ....the I jokingly picked up my 6'3" 20 year old son who outweighs me (like an inch off the ground) and explained it all to him which he thought was hilarious and weird and picked me up instead. 

What a strange thought.

Edited March 17, 2021 by theelfqueen

[Kassia]

I think about things like that a lot - the last time they sat in my lap to read (or for anything), the last time they took my hand in the parking lot or for walking around or whatever, etc.  I know there's a poem about it and it does bring me to tears.  We celebrate the firsts but don't know the lasts.  

[Kassia]

p.s.  Here it is 

 

The Last Time Poem

From the moment you hold your baby in your arms,
you will never be the same.
You might long for the person you were before,
When you have freedom and time,
And nothing in particular to worry about.

Image found on Pinterest

You will know tiredness like you never knew it before,
And days will run into days that are exactly the same,
Full of feedings and burping,
Nappy changes and crying,
Whining and fighting,
Naps or a lack of naps,
It might seem like a never-ending cycle.

But don’t forget …
There is a last time for everything.
There will come a time when you will feed
your baby for the very last time.
They will fall asleep on you after a long day
And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child.

One day you will carry them on your hip then set them down,
And never pick them up that way again.
You will scrub their hair in the bath one night
And from that day on they will want to bathe alone.
They will hold your hand to cross the road,
Then never reach for it again.
They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles,
And it will be the last night you ever wake to this.

One afternoon you will sing “the wheels on the bus”
and do all the actions,
Then never sing them that song again.
They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate,
The next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone.
You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face.
They will run to you with arms raised for the very last time.

The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time
Until there are no more times.
And even then, it will take you a while to realize.

So while you are living in these times,
remember there are only so many of them
and when they are gone, you will yearn for just one more day of them.
For one last time.

-Author Unknown-

[Pam in CT]

It's such a bizarre thing, when your kid is all of a sudden (POOF!  IN AN INSTANT!) bigger than you.

For me, it's only true of my (6'1+) son -- my daughters are the same height as me and slight; both of them still on occasion plonk themselves on my lap.  But my son, he is -- physically -- an alien giant.  Completely implausible that he came out of my body.

[Kassia]

13 minutes ago, Pam in CT said:

It's such a bizarre thing, when your kid is all of a sudden (POOF!  IN AN INSTANT!) bigger than you.

For me, it's only true of my (6'1+) son -- my daughters are the same height as me and slight; both of them still on occasion plonk themselves on my lap.  But my son, he is -- physically -- an alien giant.  Completely implausible that he came out of my body.

I'm 5'7" and all 4 of my kids (3 boys/1 girl) are bigger than me now.  It is very weird.  My tallest ds has to bend down so I can kiss/smell the top of his head when he comes home.  ❤️

 

[fairfarmhand]

Karen Kingsbury wrote a book about this called Let Me Hold You Longer.

She writes about the last flower a child brings you, all of the last things that happen and we NEVER KNOW IT'S THE LAST THING.

https://familyfriendlymorningshow.wordpress.com/2012/06/05/poem-let-me-hold-you-longer-by-karen-kingsbury/

[MEmama]

In one of his books, Bill Bryson mentions being hit by the enormity of his son leaving for university by the sudden lack of running shoes cluttering up the house. I think about this sentiment often when stumbling over DS's shoes, that one day—very, very soon now—they won’t be there any longer, and won’t return. I’m crying just thinking about it. 

Edited March 17, 2021 by MEmama

[alisoncooks]

Gah. I wasn't mentally prepared for this thread! Now my kids are all like: why are you crying? 

Lol. 

[Spryte]

2 minutes ago, alisoncooks said:

Gah. I wasn't mentally prepared for this thread! Now my kids are all like: why are you crying? 

Lol. 

Yep.  Here, too.

[Danae]

Turns out I can still pick up the 6 foot 140 lb 14 year old.  Not comfortably for either of us, but I did it.

 

Would have been kind of ironic if I’d thrown my back out trying it.

[theelfqueen]

I didnt try to pick up 16 yr old after 20 yr old ... hes heavier and more solidly built despite being an inch and half shorter. And it's been over a year since I got to see 25 year old....

It is all so weird when you think about it. 

If you have semi-littles you havent picked up in a while - give them a squeeze for the hive aunties. 

Edited March 17, 2021 by theelfqueen

[ksr5377]

I have been thinking this more and more as my 'baby' is about to turn 7.  The oldest is about to turn 15 and we're beginning to have more and more conversations about the planning involved to launch her.  I have been telling DH over the past 2 years that we were in such a sweet spot with our kids ages.  Everyone potty-trained and able to dress themselves, but no one old enough to be desperate to get away from us yet. 😃  It's been lovely, but I can't help but see the changing season ahead.  It's so exciting and bittersweet all at once.

[athena1277]

My oldest is 18, getting ready to graduate and start college.  My youngest is almost 5yo and starting K this fall.  I think about how oldest is about to be gone and littlest is getting so big that I won’t be able to pick her up much longer.  Things are changing so much.  Mostly good things, but still, it’s hard.

[klmama]

It is hard.  Hence, my avatar and my signature.  When you are a young mom, older ladies see your dc and tell you to enjoy them, because they grow up too quickly.  And then, suddenly, you become one of those older ladies telling young women to enjoy their dc, because they grow up too quickly.  *Sigh* 

[YaelAldrich]

I'm a weirdo. I'm just not that sentimental. I loved each of those stages with my four children. I don't really miss them at all. I do go misty eyed at looking at little people pictures of them but I am so happy that they are growing up (even the oldest two who are giving us grief and grey hairs all too often). I prayerfully hope they will all be adults I can proud of in their different ways.

[Kassia]

1 hour ago, MEmama said:

In one of his books, Bill Bryson mentions being hit by the enormity of his son leaving for university by the sudden lack of running shoes cluttering up the house. I think about this sentiment often when stumbling over DS's shoes, that one day—very, very soon now—they won’t be there any longer, and won’t return. I’m crying just thinking about it. 

I remember shopping for whole milk before one of my sons left for college.  He was the only one in the family who drank whole milk and I realized in the store I didn't need to check the best by date on the milk because they were all dated after he would be gone.  I started tearing up right there in the dairy section.  

ETA - and after years and years of washing my other son's muddy cross country uniform, I bawled the last time I put that thing in the washing machine knowing it was over.  

 

Edited March 17, 2021 by Kassia

[hippymamato3]

Oh this makes me sad! I can still pick up my DD (12 in a couple weeks, but tiny) but it's been a long time since I've been able to lift my 18 year old! 

[fairfarmhand]

2 hours ago, YaelAldrich said:

I'm a weirdo. I'm just not that sentimental. I loved each of those stages with my four children. I don't really miss them at all. I do go misty eyed at looking at little people pictures of them but I am so happy that they are growing up (even the oldest two who are giving us grief and grey hairs all too often). I prayerfully hope they will all be adults I can proud of in their different ways.

I enjoyed my littles each one of them at every stage. I am sure I will miss having them in the house when they are all gone and out of hte house, but I don't really miss small children either. I LOVE teenagers and I know I will miss that stage.  I just like bigger kids in general.

But I was the mom when I gave birth to my youngest, my son, my first thought after pushing him out was "THANK GOD I AM NEVER DOING THAT AGAIN!" and I felt that way about pretty much every stage that he had. Wasn't sad to end breastfeeding, diapers, getting up in the night; I was SO glad to never have to teach another little one to read...I was pretty burnt out when he was very small. I enjoy him at every age, but those little kid years really took a toll on me, and I feel more "myself" when I am parenting bigger kids. Does that make sense at all? Parenting small kids seems to make me into someone who is not really "me" I'm much more comfortable with kids who get sarcasm and understand my jokes. Even better if the kid can give me sarcasm back and toss me a one liner. 

[Kassia]

4 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

I enjoyed my littles each one of them at every stage. I am sure I will miss having them in the house when they are all gone and out of hte house, but I don't really miss small children either. I LOVE teenagers and I know I will miss that stage.  I just like bigger kids in general.

But I was the mom when I gave birth to my youngest, my son, my first thought after pushing him out was "THANK GOD I AM NEVER DOING THAT AGAIN!" and I felt that way about pretty much every stage that he had. Wasn't sad to end breastfeeding, diapers, getting up in the night; I was SO glad to never have to teach another little one to read...I was pretty burnt out when he was very small. I enjoy him at every age, but those little kid years really took a toll on me, and I feel more "myself" when I am parenting bigger kids. Does that make sense at all? Parenting small kids seems to make me into someone who is not really "me" I'm much more comfortable with kids who get sarcasm and understand my jokes. Even better if the kid can give me sarcasm back and toss me a one liner. 

Yes, this makes perfect sense and I remember feeling that way too!  I do feel nostalgic when I see old photos or remember certain times, but it was hard and I was glad when each difficult stage/milestone was over.  We are partial empty-nesters now (youngest in college home on breaks and one adult ds who comes home for extended periods) and it is so nice!  And it's not bad when they are home either since they are mostly independent.  

[MercyA]

3 hours ago, YaelAldrich said:

I'm a weirdo. I'm just not that sentimental. 

Same. I see friends literally get emotional and upset about their kids needing to, for example, shave or use deodorant, and I'm like, what?!? It's a *good* thing they are growing up! I admit I just don't get it. 🙂  

ETA: Also I am lazy. I like to sleep all night and not deal with potty training and have a child who can feed herself, entertain herself, and even stay home by herself. It's very, very nice. 

Edited March 17, 2021 by MercyA

[Pam in CT]

re parenting vs feeling like "myself"

56 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

I enjoyed my littles each one of them at every stage. I am sure I will miss having them in the house when they are all gone and out of hte house, but I don't really miss small children either. I LOVE teenagers and I know I will miss that stage.  I just like bigger kids in general.

But I was the mom when I gave birth to my youngest, my son, my first thought after pushing him out was "THANK GOD I AM NEVER DOING THAT AGAIN!" and I felt that way about pretty much every stage that he had. Wasn't sad to end breastfeeding, diapers, getting up in the night; I was SO glad to never have to teach another little one to read...I was pretty burnt out when he was very small. I enjoy him at every age, but those little kid years really took a toll on me, and I feel more "myself" when I am parenting bigger kids. Does that make sense at all? Parenting small kids seems to make me into someone who is not really "me" I'm much more comfortable with kids who get sarcasm and understand my jokes. Even better if the kid can give me sarcasm back and toss me a one liner. 

OMG yes, this.  It's a funny thing to think about -- who on earth ELSE would I have been??! -- but that was exactly how I experienced parenting young kids -- like I was playacting or something.  I enjoyed them at every age, but I didn't quite feel like "myself" until the youngest -- who was and remains the easiest, the one who (thus far, we're still wondering if the shoe is going to fall -- she's 18) has never really given us a lick of trouble -- turned about 10.

[katilac]

And then the other one that gets me is: 

One day, you and your friends went out to play for the last time, and nobody knew. 

 

[BlsdMama]

I was terribly conscious of this. When my balance started to go, I couldn’t pick up William anymore. I think he was about three. 😞

 

[J-rap]

I've often thought about this before, but not really with sadness, more with amazement.  Like, the last time I played with my beloved favorite stuffed animal as a kid.  Or the last time I rocked my ds in a rocking chair to help him sleep.  It just seems so fascinating that one day you suddenly stop doing something that you've done maybe hundreds of times before.  Just like that.

On a different note, I remember my youngest dd being absolutely amazed that she was able to pick me up in a swimming pool when she was about 5 years old and walk around in the water holding me, since I was buoyed up by the water.  😄  She loved doing that!