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5 Year Old HATES Handwriting


Princessaly4
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So the title says it all. My 5 year old son HATES handwriting. This is our first year homeschooling (kindergarten) and I’m not pushing it too much, but even asking him to practice writing letter “d” (or any other letter) will cause an epic meltdown. He just hates it. We have no issues with math, reading, even spelling! The issue is that when he writes, the letters aren’t written correctly and I don’t want to have to deal with breaking all of the bad habits later on. We started with Handwriting Without Tears, which was nothing but tears. Now we are in Getty Dubay book 1 and we’ve done maybe 2 pages in 6 weeks. Thoughts?

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My current 5 year old hates writing; he also hates being wrong, which doesn't improve his attitude.  What we're doing right now:

1) Daily handwriting is always done in a salt bin, on a tray with shaving cream, or on a whiteboard with a marker (only about twice a month).  He gets practice forming the letters but doesn't fuss (as much).  We also take time to write on a vertical surface: white board or window with dry erase markers.

2) Emphasis on time outside and gross motor activities to keep his core strong and work on cross body movement.

3) LOTS of fine motor work.  I actively plan fine motor activities into his school day, but also I offer them for all my kids when I'm reading aloud.  Busy hands helps bickering and keeps everyone listening longer.  Fine motor activities we do regularly:

- tracing

- mazes

- play dough mats 

- q-tip painting

- pokey pin pictures (huge favorite - Google for examples)

- playing with therapy putty

- finding small objects in therapy putty

- stickers

- moving objects with tweezers

- cutting a wide variety of materials (different kinds of paper, string, noodles, straws)

- hole punching paper/paper shape punching

- melty bead pictures (Perler beads)

- folding paper

- "feeding" a tennis ball monster objects

- building designs with snap blocks

- playing with legos

- putting rubber bands on Geoboards (my kids like to try to match pictures)

- stringing beads - mine especially likes to make pipe cleaner bracelets

- clothes pins

- linking with plastic links: I use this as a way to review number order/counting by 2s or 5s or sometimes even abc order

- building with marshmallows and toothpicks or small play dough balls and toothpicks

- eye droppers and colored water

- sorting small materials in sensory bins

- lacing boards (or threading pipe cleaners through strainer holes)

Edited by medawyn
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It's not abnormal for 5, 6 or even 7yo boys to lag behind in fine motor skills. Just because he can do it if he tries doesn't mean it isn't exceedingly difficult for him. The previous two posters gave excellent advice for activities to do in place of handwriting practice for now. Do the writing for him in other subjects. Use letter tiles for spelling. After he has worked on fine motor for a few months, offer to share the pencil with him every now and then and build up his stamina for writing.

Encourage (but don't force) him to color and draw on his own time. There are lots of great drawing tutorials for kids on Youtube. One particular channel that works well for my perfectionist son is Art for Kids Hub. The adult giving the lesson draws along side one of his children and the entire time they reiterate that the point isn't to produce a perfect picture but to have fun. 

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When I had issues like this with my kids, I found it helped to really try to analyze exactly what it was they hated.  So, instead of thinking that he hates handwriting in general, is there something in particular about your handwriting sessions that sets him off?  I'd look at everything--the feel of the pencil, the feel of the paper, the feel of the pencil on the paper, writing in a workbook that bounces around and refuses to stay perfectly flat, staying within the lines, how the tone of mom's voice changes, whatever.  Once you can isolate what the real trigger is, you can attempt to change that one part.  Of course, at this point, the trigger may have morphed into "handwriting in general" but initially, it was probably more specific than that.

Another idea is to get a visual timer, and tell him that he only needs to practice handwriting for five minutes (or one minute, or whatever he'll tolerate).   Set the timer and he gets to stop when the time is up, even if he's in the middle of writing a letter.

If necessary, you could also get chocolate chips involved.  One chocolate chip for each letter written with a good attitude, for example.

 

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15 hours ago, Princessaly4 said:

The issue is that when he writes, the letters aren’t written correctly and I don’t want to have to deal with breaking all of the bad habits later on.

Does this mean that he doesn't want to write the letters the way the curriculum teaches or something else?

Susan in TX

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I would go back to the basics. Simple lines, circles, whatever. Strive to get him to put pencil to paper to do something, even one line, nicely. Then be done. Meanwhile get him doing all the fun fine motor stuff other people mentioned in play. It also helped mine to write on dry erase boards, sidewalk chalk, etc versus pencil and paper. Eventually he will move to paper. But it doesn’t have to be a workbook when he is 5. 

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Did you use the HWT wooden letter pieces?  Those are the first way my kids learn to form letters.  It sounds like he needs some work on fine motor skills- play doh, Legos, lacing boards- things that work his fingers.   When practicing strokes,  use many different media- paint, markers, crayons, shaving cream, rice or salt.  

With boys particularly,  they can need a lot more time.  Try not to worry, back off and wait a bit before trying again.

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I make a story out of letter formation. So the letter 'l' is a fall straight down...and stop! But 'h' is a fall then a JUMP back up and forward. My kids have acted out these "stories" and have so much fun with them. For letters 'b' and 'd' I throw in big bellies and have them put balloons under their shirts. 'p', 'g', 'q' have round faces and tails so paper plates get decorates and tails of various sorts are secured. As they practice a new letter I talk them through the story a few times: "OK...'m' comes to the edge which is high but not too high and jumps down...then JUMP up! And down again...and JUMP up! And down again. Now 'm' is tired and done."

 

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8 hours ago, MotherGoose said:

Meanwhile get him doing all the fun fine motor stuff other people mentioned in play. It also helped mine to write on dry erase boards, sidewalk chalk, etc versus pencil and paper.

Dry erase boards and side walk chalk are good ideas. This reminded me of how crazy kids go over drawing on sidewalks, I'll try it with my child too. 

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