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Things you want to declutter but can’t


Katy
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1 hour ago, gardenmom5 said:

It is with much glee, I've started an excel spreadsheet.  Going room by room broken down into  categories., of places to dejunk, fix, finish, redo, etc. 

 

Finally getting my kitchen backsplash installed (it was to "highlight" the sink only.  The rest is travertine.) after YEARS of back and forth, and this particular tile has been sitting under my bed for two years . . . .  anyway - it has motivated me more.  I started dejunking again in January - but the pavilion and backsplash have motivated me to be more methodical about it.

When we moved into this house, which was around 1990, we planned to install Kelly green and white tiles in the kitchen in a checkerboard pattern.  We were so intent on doing this that we even bought a Kelly green Kitchen Aid mixer, which matched nothing we owned and no decor we had.  We got bogged down in figuring out the countertops and never did this.  So all these years later, several things have happened:

1.  We have had a bright dark green Kitchen Aid in our blue as original kitchen all these years.  These are ‘not made like they used to be’ so we cannot get rid of it for a new one.

2.  Checkerboard tiles have come back into style.

3.  I’ve realized that I like a blue kitchen but would prefer a lighter blue.

4.  I’ve also realized that our inertia around home improvements is such that barring a major flood we are unlikely to update.

5.  Although I hate the oak cabinets, if we paint the kitchen I’m painting them, too.  This would not have been imaginable in the 90s.  But now I just don’t care.  If stupid people can paint lovely old furniture made of beautiful wood that simply begs to be refinished to make the wood itself shine, then I can certainly paint my ugly oak.

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49 minutes ago, Sherry in OH said:

I shred photos and other memorabilia rather than simply tossing them.   That way they cannot be rescued from the trash.    

You are ruthless and I love it! 💕 

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  • 1 year later...

I appreciate the weird chat bot. I’d forgotten all about this thread, how resistant DH used to be to decluttering (though we still have itchy quilts, they’re now in the guest room closet), and all about sentimental buckets of rusty nails!

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On 2/25/2021 at 5:47 PM, Storygirl said:

My email inbox. I am terrible at managing it and have almost 5,000 emails. The last time I tried to do a big purge, I accidentally managed to cut about 1,000 at one time, including some that were important, so I'm afraid to try again.

I know this one!

You pick a word or phrase to search on, and then when the drop down choices come up you click on the email address of some annoying company who has been sending you too much email for years, and then ‘delete all’.  Don’t forget to unsubscribe afterwards.   I’ve gotten rid of thousands and thousands of emails this way.

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On 2/25/2021 at 6:56 PM, Kassia said:

Oh gosh, just about everything.  DH wants to declutter but can't part with anything - either it has sentimental value or we might need it someday or it has value and he wants to sell it.  I've practically given up on trying because most of the stuff I set aside ends up back where I started from.  It's frustrating!  Our house is absolutely stuffed - every closet, drawer, cabinet, the entire basement, etc. 

 

 

Oh, I understand. Our living spaces aren't stuffed, but the garage, attic, basement and shed are. DH hates to get rid of things. He has about a million screws. bolts, and nails, many of them rusted, but he's sure he might need one someday. The truth is that he will go buy news ones anyway. The other stuff is stuff he claims he's going to sell or scrap...someday.

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1 hour ago, mom2scouts said:

Oh, I understand. Our living spaces aren't stuffed, but the garage, attic, basement and shed are. DH hates to get rid of things. He has about a million screws. bolts, and nails, many of them rusted, but he's sure he might need one someday. The truth is that he will go buy news ones anyway. The other stuff is stuff he claims he's going to sell or scrap...someday.

Same here. Save every nail and screw, but it’s not like anyone could find them if we needed them.

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5 hours ago, Katy said:

I appreciate the weird chat bot. I’d forgotten all about this thread, how resistant DH used to be to decluttering (though we still have itchy quilts, they’re now in the guest room closet), and all about sentimental buckets of rusty nails!

 

1 hour ago, mom2scouts said:

Oh, I understand. Our living spaces aren't stuffed, but the garage, attic, basement and shed are. DH hates to get rid of things. He has about a million screws. bolts, and nails, many of them rusted, but he's sure he might need one someday. The truth is that he will go buy news ones anyway. The other stuff is stuff he claims he's going to sell or scrap...someday.

 

2 minutes ago, Elizabeth86 said:

Same here. Save every nail and screw, but it’s not like anyone could find them if we needed them.

MY dh has a bucket of rusty nails and screws that came from his dad's garage. Do you know where it originated? His dad's dad's garage. You'd think that all these years later somebody would've used up those odd bits of this and that...and nope. My dh will die and if I don't toss it, it's likely that my ds will end up the fourth generation to be saddled with that bucket of rusty nails.

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On 2/26/2021 at 10:43 AM, DoraBora said:

These.  Exactly.

I’m a terrible person. Both my college age kids left behind a whole bunch of junk when they moved out to college. I told them "look at all the work I’ve been doing cleaning out mom and dad’s house don’t you want to get rid of some of this stuff?" Nope. So now I told them this will be their problem when I’m dead. Good luck kids!

Edited by Janeway
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I have some things given me by some older folks that I have to dispose of but I have to drive to a Goodwill far away so that they don’t wander in and see their precious items I took off their hands to help them declutter. Somehow we made friends with a lot of old folks and they all used the pandemic to go through their stuff. I have some odd “one of a kinds” that I don’t want but I can’t put by the curb or take to Goodwill. I am generally a ruthless declutterer but I can’t risk hurting Mr Ray’s feelings if he drives by the house and sees the beat up end tables he gave us by the curb or if Miss Nancy is browsing Goodwill and comes across that painting of cats she was so proud of or her handmade Christmas wreaths etc. So we have a corner of the garage that is dedicated to these items. 

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4 hours ago, fairfarmhand said:

MY dh has a bucket of rusty nails and screws that came from his dad's garage. Do you know where it originated? His dad's dad's garage. You'd think that all these years later somebody would've used up those odd bits of this and that...and nope. My dh will die and if I don't toss it, it's likely that my ds will end up the fourth generation to be saddled with that bucket of rusty nails.

I worry about exactly this with my dh.  

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6 hours ago, teachermom2834 said:

I have some things given me by some older folks that I have to dispose of but I have to drive to a Goodwill far away so that they don’t wander in and see their precious items I took off their hands to help them declutter.

Been there, done that!  

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21 hours ago, Katy said:

I appreciate the weird chat bot. I’d forgotten all about this thread, how resistant DH used to be to decluttering (though we still have itchy quilts, they’re now in the guest room closet), and all about sentimental buckets of rusty nails!

I mean, actually, I would not mind this popping back up every January…

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I can't believe I didn't participate in this thread last time around.  I must have been buried in something.

Over the past year, we got rid of a lot.  I'm a little bit sad about some of the books I tossed, but not so sad that I'd want it back like it was.

If I had a free week, a free rein, and lots of energy, I'd go through every inch of my kids' bedrooms.  But after saying "i'm gonna" for years, I think it's time to lower my expectations.  (I still do go in there and purge sections, but it's never-ending.)

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Same here with a DH who hates to get rid of things.  He's really trying but...

Last week he went to the oral surgeon and came home with a little plastic bag with gauze and post-op instructions.  He asked me if we should save the plastic bag because it's nice.  He was serious!   It's just a little plastic bag - I can't imagine what we'd use it for!  He did throw it out but that's just an example of how he hates to throw anything out because either it has sentimental value (every single thing the kids ever drew or made) or because we may need it someday.  It's frustrating because I want to declutter but can't.

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4 hours ago, SKL said:

I can't believe I didn't participate in this thread last time around.  I must have been buried in something.

Over the past year, we got rid of a lot.  I'm a little bit sad about some of the books I tossed, but not so sad that I'd want it back like it was.

If I had a free week, a free rein, and lots of energy, I'd go through every inch of my kids' bedrooms.  But after saying "i'm gonna" for years, I think it's time to lower my expectations.  (I still do go in there and purge sections, but it's never-ending.)

My son who lives at home is my messiest kid. I really want to completely empty his room and throw 75% of the things away. Also, the carpet is trashed and the window blinds are hanging by a thread. My theory is that when we prepare for him to go to college, I’m doing it. Everything goes including the carpet and blinds and every inch gets scrubbed and repainted. 

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So back in 2015 when my dh father was diagnosed with cancer, my MIL went a bit wackadoodle. She started talking about cleaning out his study before the man was gone. My fil was a preacher and had accumulated 40 years of books. Some he used, some were given to him. But a whole room with bookcases lining the walls. My fil was horrified at my MIL's thoughts of junking all his stuff, so he asked one of his sons to promise to save the books for a grandson who might be a preacher. He passed in 2016.

So in 2020, my MIL passed away.

My dh and his brothers cleaned out the house for sale. They packed all the books in massive rubbermaid totes that are so heavy I can barely lift them. Somehow, my dh volunteered to store them in case one of the grandsons becomes a preacher. When my MIL passed none of the grandsons were even close to becoming adults. These totes are in the attic storage area of my house. I have no idea when they will leave. Somebody, someday might want them. Most of the books are from the 1970-1980 time period. I realize that the heat in the attic is probably ruining the bindings. I haven't said a word about that because I DO NOT CARE. And I do not want them to be IN my house.  

Nobody is going to want that many books. But somebody made a promise. (It wasn't my dh who made the promise and somehow, he's the one storing the books) I know that my FIL wasn't trying to saddle anyone with a white elephant. I doubt he figured his wife would die so soon after he did. But, nobody has the ability to say "That wasn't a fair promise to make." or "Let's sort the books and only keep the ones that he used most" It seems that everyone is obligated to hang on to every single book in that study till one of the grandsons becomes a pastor.

(My FIL and my dh's family is a very conservative sort. I asked my dh kinda snarkily what would happen if none of the sons, but one of the girls becomes a minister. Does she get the books? )

Edited by fairfarmhand
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21 hours ago, teachermom2834 said:

I have some things given me by some older folks that I have to dispose of but I have to drive to a Goodwill far away so that they don’t wander in and see their precious items I took off their hands to help them declutter. Somehow we made friends with a lot of old folks and they all used the pandemic to go through their stuff. I have some odd “one of a kinds” that I don’t want but I can’t put by the curb or take to Goodwill. I am generally a ruthless declutterer but I can’t risk hurting Mr Ray’s feelings if he drives by the house and sees the beat up end tables he gave us by the curb or if Miss Nancy is browsing Goodwill and comes across that painting of cats she was so proud of or her handmade Christmas wreaths etc. So we have a corner of the garage that is dedicated to these items. 

I have a Buy Nothing list friend who faced this situation.  She advertised a free, new pine bookcase, and I bit.  When we went over there to pick it up, I mentioned that my husband was stuck behind me in the garage admiring some heavier duty tool than the version he had, and she jumped ALL OVER THAT.  “You want it?” She asked immediately.  

I told her I wasn’t sure, that we were not coveting her stuff but that if she had tools to get rid of we could show them to DH to see if he wanted them.  Long story short, this had been her MIL’s house, MIL recently deceased, and the grown children had been planning to call a junk company and have them haul away the entire contents, but she couldn’t stand to do that because a lot of it was brand new, some stuff still in the boxes.

We ended up taking the original bookcase, which is PERFECT in my weaving room, but also a bunch of tools, some for DH and some to donate to a local college that was outfitting a student shop.  Then right as we were leaving the lady brought up the holiday decorations.  I had not really thought they were up for grabs, but apparently everything was.  So I took a couple of very nice Christmas items, and then two entire boxes marked Easter, because I didn’t want to go through them but didn’t want to leave them to be tossed either.  Turned out they were full of mostly handmade items.  And most of them I threw away.  But it was not onerous, I got a few things I liked, and was very ruthless but very selective about the rest, in a way that that family clearly could not have been in person.  I thought, though, how hard it would have been for the family to toss things that this recently deceased lady had clearly made herself.

Edited by Carol in Cal.
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38 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

So back in 2015 when my dh father was diagnosed with cancer, my MIL went a bit wackadoodle. She started talking about cleaning out his study before the man was gone. My fil was a preacher and had accumulated 40 years of books. Some he used, some were given to him. But a whole room with bookcases lining the walls. My fil was horrified at my MIL's thoughts of junking all his stuff, so he asked one of his sons to promise to save the books for a grandson who might be a preacher. He passed in 2016.

So in 2020, my MIL passed away.

My dh and his brothers cleaned out the house for sale. They packed all the books in massive rubbermaid totes that are so heavy I can barely lift them. Somehow, my dh volunteered to store them in case one of the grandsons becomes a preacher. When my MIL passed none of the grandsons were even close to becoming adults. These totes are in the attic storage area of my house. I have no idea when they will leave. Somebody, someday might want them. Most of the books are from the 1970-1980 time period. I realize that the heat in the attic is probably ruining the bindings. I haven't said a word about that because I DO NOT CARE. And I do not want them to be IN my house.  

Nobody is going to want that many books. But somebody made a promise. (It wasn't my dh who made the promise and somehow, he's the one storing the books) I know that my FIL wasn't trying to saddle anyone with a white elephant. I doubt he figured his wife would die so soon after he did. But, nobody has the ability to say "That wasn't a fair promise to make." or "Let's sort the books and only keep the ones that he used most" It seems that everyone is obligated to hang on to every single book in that study till one of the grandsons becomes a pastor.

(My FIL and my dh's family is a very conservative sort. I asked my dh kinda snarkily what would happen if none of the sons, but one of the girls becomes a minister. Does she get the books? )

I think I would go through them snd pick the 10 most loved volumes and donate the rest to a seminary library. 

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