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My bio dad died today


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He was 80.

COPD complications.  

He has been in the hospital for several weeks. They moved him to a nursing home/rehab this past week sometime.....staff found him unresponsive on the floor sometime yesterday morning. Took him back to the ER.   He never woke up.

Our stepsister is a nurse and she was able to get my sister into the ER yesterday to see him.  She told told my sister it would most likely be the last time she saw him.

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2 hours ago, Scarlett said:

He was 80.

COPD complications.  

He has been in the hospital for several weeks. They moved him to a nursing home/rehab this past week sometime.....staff found him unresponsive on the floor sometime yesterday morning. Took him back to the ER.   He never woke up.

Our stepsister is a nurse and she was able to get my sister into the ER yesterday to see him.  She told told my sister it would most likely be the last time she saw him.

I am so sorry!!! 

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3 hours ago, Scarlett said:

He was 80.

COPD complications.  

He has been in the hospital for several weeks. They moved him to a nursing home/rehab this past week sometime.....staff found him unresponsive on the floor sometime yesterday morning. Took him back to the ER.   He never woke up.

Our stepsister is a nurse and she was able to get my sister into the ER yesterday to see him.  She told told my sister it would most likely be the last time she saw him.

I’m sorry for your loss. I’m glad your sister was able to be there. ❤️

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15 hours ago, MissLemon said:

Oh Scarlett, I'm so sorry. Were you very close to him? How are you holding up? You've had so much going on recently. ❤️ 

No.  My mom was 20 and he was 24 when I was born They weren’t married and when she told him she was pregnant he basically told her it wasn’t his problem.  So she took off and went several states away to live with her sister.  That was the last he heard from her until I was 7.  That was the first he heard that I even was born. At that time she found out he had a 4 year old that he was raising alone.  
 

Next contact was when I was 15 and I asked to meet him.  He agreed but I am not sure why because he still wasn’t interested in me. I flew down to their city and spent 3 nights.  My sister who was almost 12 found out about me at that time. She and I immediately bonded.   As soon as I left he made her promise she would never try to contact me.  
 

Over the next 28 years I tried several times to reach her through him and through my aunt.  He would not even come to the phone but they both told me they did not know where she was. (That was a lie)  In 2008 I ‘found’ her on line..... but after the prior years of rejection from him and my aunt I just could not get the nerve to contact her.  I even went as far to ask a boardie here to tell me what her house and neighborhood was like.  
 

The day after Thanksgiving in 2008 I turned on my computer and on FB a private  message popped up from her. It said, ‘ Hi I have thought about you a lot all of these years. I hope you are well.’  I about fell out of my chair.  We emailed back and forth a lot updating each other on our life.  In February she and I met up in Dallas and spent the weekend together.  When she got back from that trip she told our dad.  He started in,  ‘Now, you don’t even know for sure...’. She held up her hand and said, ‘dad, stop.  I do know.  I have known since I was 11 that she is my sister.  But this isn’t about you.  This is between my sister and me’. 
 

So, I guess in his mind he somehow had convinced himself I wasn’t his.  I think, as does my sister it was all about child support, even though my mother never asked him for a dime.  But after she and I reconnected it was near impossible for him to keep saying that....she showed him pictures and said, ‘see dad doesn’t she look like Aunt Pat?’  He said, ‘ Aunt Pat hell, she looks like me!’  So he knew.  But he had sort of backed himself into a corner with his stubbornness and he never reached out to me.  When I would go down there he would come to my sisters house while I was there and he would meet us at restaurants....but it was just civil and polite with him.  
 

For fun my sister and I did ancestry dna tests a couple of years ago.  When she told him the very undeniable fact that she and I were half sisters he was visibly shocked and said things like ‘well her mom just ran off’.  And ‘well, it is too late now’.  But the next and last time I saw him was a year ago and he told me he loved me and that we had ‘wasted a lot of years’.  Here is a pic from that trip.  Please don’t quote as I will delete the picture soon.  Thanks for listening to my life story. 😉

 

 

 

Edited by Scarlett
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