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On 2/8/2021 at 10:45 AM, Katy said:

DH3

That sounds really hard.  I am sorry you are having to deal with this. 

However I really love this typo.  Maybe instead of complaining that my husband is like an extra kid, I should complain that my kids are like extra husbands.  

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So sorry 🙁. I don't have any little kids but I was mentally complaining about my dh this morning, too.  He doesn't want to work but I'm busy so he just keeps entering the room I am in and sighing loudly.  So I interrupt what I am doing to see what's up and it's just "I don't feel like working today"  .  I just told him that when the kids act like that I make them run laps or stairsteps -lol!  He went back to work. . .

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My kids are older but all of us in the house, ranging in age from 14-51, are taking turns acting like 3 year-olds.

Holy smokes. February is always rough, but this year takes the cake. 

 

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9 minutes ago, kristin0713 said:

I’m totally with you. I can’t stand having everyone around all.the.time. and nothing to break up our routine. No field trips, outside classes, minimal time with friends. I’m over it. 

Right?  I’ve been on a big decluttering kick lately, so usually when I can no longer take it I strap him in the car (along with any other kid who wants to go), and we drop stuff off at a charity shop.  But with this arctic air it doesn’t feel responsible to leave the house with the kids and there’s no end in sight. I’m usually reluctant to pray for something as ridiculous as the weather changing but I’m about to start. 

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22 minutes ago, Katy said:

I just gave my toddlers tablets.  I feel like a terrible parent but at least the only one left whining in here is the dog. 🥳

I admit I first read this as some kind of medication, and I was like, whoa. 😆

You're not a terrible parent. Baby Einstein saved my sanity more than once. ❤️

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I’m actually enjoying having Dh working from home.  I particularly like how he puts my coffee next to the bed when I get up so I can drink it in bed. But for context, he has always had a long commute on a good day and traveled for work more than 50% of the time, so for decades, we would literally have a conversation every few weeks. It wasn’t our preference, just our reality and I really never expected it to change. 
 

My situation is different too, because my kids are older and I tore something in my knee, so I’m mostly resting in bed or resting on the couch. I love it when he comes in and talks to me about the call he has coming up at 1:00 or the resolution he finally got concerning a coworker. He is working from home until at least June and probably only return to the office a few days each month after that, so the pandemic’s ending won’t cause his work life to go back to how it was a year ago, and I’m glad about that. 
 

On the other hand, I have an adult kid who I am really ready to have leave the nest. I love her, but we have had way too much togetherness in the last year. I had a come-to-Jesus talk with her this weekend and her attitude has been better. It is just hard never getting a break from each other.

In a way, I feel like we have hit our pandemic stride and could continue without too much inconvenience for the next 6 months or so. It helps that my younger kids have gotten more independent with their school work and they are still able to compete in their sport and see their friends outside every day.  
 

It is a weird new reality for us, but one we have adapted to as much as possible. 

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Ugh. My dh has been home since early last March. He has always worked long hours and it was not unusual for him to leave in the morning while I was still in bed and get home long past dinnertime. Now he is here all the time. It is so dramatic a change. He is here for every single meal. Every day. (after being used to him being home maybe four dinners a week...now it is 3 meals a day, 7 days a week. I don't cook for him all those times but he is here, rifling around my kitchen, messing with my ingredients and pantry organization).

He was scheduled to start phasing back in June 2021. But now they say they are restructuring and for them to plan to return to the office a few times a year. 

Our 25th wedding anniversary is coming up. We have spent more time together the last year than probably for a decade combined. It has been...an adjustment.

My oldest two dc are out of the house. #3 will be off to college in the fall. My last child is supposed to be going to a cottage school all day two days a week next year. After 23 years of full time homeschooling and kids at home I was supposed to have the house to myself a couple times a week. For the first time in 23 years. But now...I will not be alone. Ever again.

(I know that is supposed to be fun to have alone time with dh... and I'm sure it will have it's moments. Lol. But I really was looking forward to being ALONE.)

I saw a small office space advertised for about $200/mo. Hmmm

 

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Me,too!  The crazy thing is that dh works next door so he did come home for lunch and to pick things up.  He also has Monday's off, so I am used to him being around--but not all the time.  The even crazier thing is there is 0 reason he can't still work in his office next door.  There isn't a real need for him to go in bc no one, of course, stops by, his admin assistant is working at home, etc.  But I need my space.  Even though he is totally not a controlling micro managing critical type, it still makes me feel like someone is looking over my shoulder all of the time. And this was suppose to finally be  a year I had space--youngest dd is finally enjoying quiet independent activities instead of talking to me 24/7, there were going to be 2 whole evenings when everyone was out of the house.  Dh also usually took the kids to his moms and couple times a year.  So, after 20 years of intense mothering and homeschooling, there was going to be some breathing room.  Now, nope, not so much.  I mean I do like dh, and I guess I get why when he hears me done with the kids, he sees that as an opportunity to come see me, but AHHH that's when I need to recharge.  And I still haven't found the words to use that don't make it sound like I don't want him around bc I don't want to be with him.  I *do* want to be with him, I just need him to go away to work in his own office like he used to. (I also need to figure out how to navigate that with ds gone he now has his own home office, and office right next door and a shared space with me in our room.  I have only shared space!  I need a woman-cave, I think)

eta: I have told him I want  him to go work next door, but he isn't listening (ie doing what I want)

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25 minutes ago, teachermom2834 said:

Ugh. My dh has been home since early last March. He has always worked long hours and it was not unusual for him to leave in the morning while I was still in bed and get home long past dinnertime. Now he is here all the time. It is so dramatic a change. He is here for every single meal. Every day. (after being used to him being home maybe four dinners a week...now it is 3 meals a day, 7 days a week. I don't cook for him all those times but he is here, rifling around my kitchen, messing with my ingredients and pantry organization).

He was scheduled to start phasing back in June 2021. But now they say they are restructuring and for them to plan to return to the office a few times a year. 

Our 25th wedding anniversary is coming up. We have spent more time together the last year than probably for a decade combined. It has been...an adjustment.

My oldest two dc are out of the house. #3 will be off to college in the fall. My last child is supposed to be going to a cottage school all day two days a week next year. After 23 years of full time homeschooling and kids at home I was supposed to have the house to myself a couple times a week. For the first time in 23 years. But now...I will not be alone. Ever again.

(I know that is supposed to be fun to have alone time with dh... and I'm sure it will have it's moments. Lol. But I really was looking forward to being ALONE.)

I saw a small office space advertised for about $200/mo. Hmmm

 

That's cheaper than marriage therapy....:)

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It's fatigue!  I tend toward the Pollyanna on average (though I can bi+ch when I'm in the mood).  I mean I have my moments, but I usually bounce back fairly soon.  But this past week or so it's been getting to me more than ever.  I just feel like - where's that tunnel that has a light at the end of it?  Where??

I want life back to normal.  For me, normal means I get to be alone in the house during work hours, at least some days of each week.  I can go down to the kitchen without anyone trying to chat me up / interrogate me / point out something sucky my kids did.  I can spend an hour or so cleaning house in the peaceful quiet of aloneness.  I can leave it up to others to make sure my kids are at least pretending to do school for 6 hours a day.

I want to have a day out with my kids without having to wear a stinking mask.  I want to smile at people and not have to state, "I'm smiling" so they know I'm not giving them the stinkeye.

I want to go to church.  Church used to recharge my psyche.  I really miss that.

I want to see my parents and siblings without worrying about passing a disease to them.

I want my kids to be able to hang with their friends without worrying about making any grandparents sick.

I want to travel again.

Sigh.

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1 hour ago, teachermom2834 said:

Ugh. My dh has been home since early last March. He has always worked long hours and it was not unusual for him to leave in the morning while I was still in bed and get home long past dinnertime. Now he is here all the time. It is so dramatic a change. He is here for every single meal. Every day. (after being used to him being home maybe four dinners a week...now it is 3 meals a day, 7 days a week. I don't cook for him all those times but he is here, rifling around my kitchen, messing with my ingredients and pantry organization).

He was scheduled to start phasing back in June 2021. But now they say they are restructuring and for them to plan to return to the office a few times a year. 

Our 25th wedding anniversary is coming up. We have spent more time together the last year than probably for a decade combined. It has been...an adjustment.

My oldest two dc are out of the house. #3 will be off to college in the fall. My last child is supposed to be going to a cottage school all day two days a week next year. After 23 years of full time homeschooling and kids at home I was supposed to have the house to myself a couple times a week. For the first time in 23 years. But now...I will not be alone. Ever again.

(I know that is supposed to be fun to have alone time with dh... and I'm sure it will have it's moments. Lol. But I really was looking forward to being ALONE.)

I saw a small office space advertised for about $200/mo. Hmmm

 

Oh man, that would be so hard.  I am sorry.  

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Oh Katy, I feel for you.  My youngest is a bit older but I get how hard it is to have a young kid during this.  They need routine and this having your DH there during the day for me was harder than having him at the office.  My dh has been home since March.  He worked at home a few years ago too.   From trying to keep they from not being loud, to them sneaking in to see dh.  And yeah anytime he would come downstairs it was like a whole thing of wanting to play with him and then tears when he couldn't .   It must be so hard for the little ones to do that.  It is like seeing dad at the end of the day and just wanting to spend time with him, but this is 10 times a day and every time the answer is no.  

But yeah this Polar Vortex sucks.  Even winter sucks at this point.  The kids are over the snow.  It isn't fun anymore.  We haven't gone or seen anyone since March.  I miss it.  Sure do I love the slower life, yes.  But having to be on every second.  No alone time.  Always the one to have to think of things for them to do.  I have been over this for months.  

I saw a meme the other day that if you just turn closed captioning on the TV while your kids are watching, it is now reading.  My younger ones are getting a lot more TV time right now.  What else can you do?   

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54 minutes ago, SKL said:

I can go down to the kitchen without anyone trying to chat me up / interrogate me / point out something sucky my kids did.  I can spend an hour or so cleaning house in the peaceful quiet of aloneness.  I can leave it up to others to make sure my kids are at least pretending to do school for 6 hours a day.

This is how I feel every day!

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3 hours ago, Farrar said:

Pandemic fatigue has hit me hard in the last week or so. I feel ya. Hugs.

It’s the February Expanded Edition of pandemic fatigue. 
 

I know we are not supposed to complain about our dh’s here so I will simply wholeheartedly JAWY, Katy. 

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1 hour ago, freesia said:

Me,too!  The crazy thing is that dh works next door so he did come home for lunch and to pick things up.  He also has Monday's off, so I am used to him being around--but not all the time.  The even crazier thing is there is 0 reason he can't still work in his office next door.  There isn't a real need for him to go in bc no one, of course, stops by, his admin assistant is working at home, etc.  But I need my space.  Even though he is totally not a controlling micro managing critical type, it still makes me feel like someone is looking over my shoulder all of the time. And this was suppose to finally be  a year I had space--youngest dd is finally enjoying quiet independent activities instead of talking to me 24/7, there were going to be 2 whole evenings when everyone was out of the house.  Dh also usually took the kids to his moms and couple times a year.  So, after 20 years of intense mothering and homeschooling, there was going to be some breathing room.  Now, nope, not so much.  I mean I do like dh, and I guess I get why when he hears me done with the kids, he sees that as an opportunity to come see me, but AHHH that's when I need to recharge.  And I still haven't found the words to use that don't make it sound like I don't want him around bc I don't want to be with him.  I *do* want to be with him, I just need him to go away to work in his own office like he used to. (I also need to figure out how to navigate that with ds gone he now has his own home office, and office right next door and a shared space with me in our room.  I have only shared space!  I need a woman-cave, I think)

eta: I have told him I want  him to go work next door, but he isn't listening (ie doing what I want)

This!!!! I feel like a fish in a bowl. 
 

Also, I like to crank up some Patsy Cline and clean house all by myself. These days I can’t do that, plus I feel like my time management and task list is constantly under judgement. I’m sure it’s my own issue, but it is honestly how I feel. 

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1 hour ago, Seasider too said:

This!!!! I feel like a fish in a bowl. 
 

Also, I like to crank up some Patsy Cline and clean house all by myself. These days I can’t do that, plus I feel like my time management and task list is constantly under judgement. I’m sure it’s my own issue, but it is honestly how I feel. 

Exactly, minus Patsy Cline.LOL

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1 hour ago, Seasider too said:

This!!!! I feel like a fish in a bowl. 
 

Also, I like to crank up some Patsy Cline and clean house all by myself. These days I can’t do that, plus I feel like my time management and task list is constantly under judgement. I’m sure it’s my own issue, but it is honestly how I feel. 

Ha!  Two weeks ago I got some huge & pretty boxes from Ikea.  They're all flat pack and assembled with tiny screws.  DH never has the patience for that type of thing but I found him standing over my shoulder like he'd taken over supervision duty at the factory.  "Do you want to take over?"  "No, why?"  "Because it feels like you're on supervision duty and I'm over it."  He wandered off, but it constantly feels like I'm a fish in a bowl too.

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1 hour ago, Seasider too said:

It’s the February Expanded Edition of pandemic fatigue. 
 

I know we are not supposed to complain about our dh’s here so I will simply wholeheartedly JAWY, Katy. 

The February Expanded Edition.  That helps.  I've been going around saying we have the Februaries around here--but,yes, The Expanded Edition of pandemic fatigue says it so much more.

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3 hours ago, teachermom2834 said:

Ugh. My dh has been home since early last March. He has always worked long hours and it was not unusual for him to leave in the morning while I was still in bed and get home long past dinnertime. Now he is here all the time. It is so dramatic a change. He is here for every single meal. Every day. (after being used to him being home maybe four dinners a week...now it is 3 meals a day, 7 days a week. I don't cook for him all those times but he is here, rifling around my kitchen, messing with my ingredients and pantry organization).

He was scheduled to start phasing back in June 2021. But now they say they are restructuring and for them to plan to return to the office a few times a year. 

Our 25th wedding anniversary is coming up. We have spent more time together the last year than probably for a decade combined. It has been...an adjustment.

My oldest two dc are out of the house. #3 will be off to college in the fall. My last child is supposed to be going to a cottage school all day two days a week next year. After 23 years of full time homeschooling and kids at home I was supposed to have the house to myself a couple times a week. For the first time in 23 years. But now...I will not be alone. Ever again.

(I know that is supposed to be fun to have alone time with dh... and I'm sure it will have it's moments. Lol. But I really was looking forward to being ALONE.)

I saw a small office space advertised for about $200/mo. Hmmm

 

 

1 hour ago, Seasider too said:

This!!!! I feel like a fish in a bowl. 
 

Also, I like to crank up some Patsy Cline and clean house all by myself.. 


Omgosh YESYESYESSSS! I've been so focused on what dh and the kids have missed out on this year and only recently realized that this was supposed to be my YEAR ALONE. DD1 would be home, but working full time and going to grad school. DS is still home, but was enrolled in a million hours of college courses plus working and his sport. DH was supposed to be AT HIS OFFICE and then busy on weekends with his sport. 
 

Instead they are all here. Asking me questions all the time. Watching me when I work. Omggggg. Fishbowl is EXACTLY it. 
 

And I will never ever get this year back. 😭 I'm going to start working when this is all over. I'll be Never alone!!! (And dh is an extrovert who needs to talk... *sigh*)

AND, like @teachermom2834, dhs job is phasing out their offices and allowing them to continue working from home FOREVER!! 😩😭😭😭

I just want to cry. I love them all - DEARLY. But I haven't been alone fir more than a few hours (and only rarely) in so long I've forgotten what it's like. I feel like ALL the energy in this house has gone to ensuring that the extroverts are okay - and those extroverts aren't even thinking about lil or' me. lol (surprise, surprise). But - where are they supposed to go? 
 

😩😩😩😫😫😫

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Oh, I feel so sorry for you guys who thought you’d finally have your alone time! I’m not there yet. I know I don’t get the alone time yet. But I do remember that for 2 years in a row, when they boys were little, they were going to go to VBS every morning for a week and I had looked forward to those 3 hours a morning for a year. 

And for 2 years in a row, DH ended up either being sick or he’d taken vacation time so he could “putter around the house and get things done.” It was bad enough then, but I can’t imagine expecting to finally get alone time after waiting for 25 or more YEARS and not getting it.  

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1 hour ago, Katy said:

Ha!  Two weeks ago I got some huge & pretty boxes from Ikea.  They're all flat pack and assembled with tiny screws.  DH never has the patience for that type of thing but I found him standing over my shoulder like he'd taken over supervision duty at the factory.  "Do you want to take over?"  "No, why?"  "Because it feels like you're on supervision duty and I'm over it."  He wandered off, but it constantly feels like I'm a fish in a bowl too.

We moved across the country in June and dh was going to start up with a new company.  He needs to get his security clearance reinstated, and they told him it might take awhile due to Covid.  The kids were supposed to go to in person school.  I would pick up a part time job at a library.  Instead, it has been SEVEN MONTHS and my husband JUST got the call that he can go into work.  We celebrated, and then they said THREE more weeks. Ugh.   I really do feel like I am in a fish bowl!  Someone is always there, ready to talk or tell me something!  I just crave silence. Pure, deep silence.

 

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I've done so much pandemic decluttering and tidying that I've been kind of aimlessly milling around the house the last 3 days. 

Craft supplies? Totally organized

Laundry room and pantry? organized

Kitchen? I'm on my 3rd pass-through and I can honestly say it is 100% optimized and only contains items we actually use. 

Clothes? I'm good there, too. 

Y'all, I'm down to finally organizing the file cabinet and putting photos in photo albums.  Things are getting dire. 

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