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I've watched entirely too much ID TV. I hope your niece is found safe, Scarlett. This situation is horrific. Whatever she or her family may or may not have done, no one deserves this.

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I just can't believe people are picking at Scarlett right now. 😞 Not the time. 

Update 5:30. They found her.  Alive and ok. She thought the thug still had her car.  He also took off with her phone.  She called the police around the time of that last text to her dad to tell them h

Update 5:30. They found her.  Alive and ok. She thought the thug still had her car.  He also took off with her phone.  She called the police around the time of that last text to her dad to tell them h

1 minute ago, ktgrok said:

If he stole the car, he wouldn't know where she is. Or he may just not know, even if she gave it to him. That could have happened at th mall, or at a party, and he has no idea where she went later. 

Ok, help me think through what you are saying.....she texts her dad at 1:00 a.m for money to get home. (which the dad doesn't hear)  And then a random person sends a text of her naked to her dad at 2:00 a.m. which he does hear and immediately  begins calling her to see where she is and how he can help her.  But she doesn't answer.  I don't see how that fits into she is just at a party and he just happened to steal her car.  But what do I know. I have never been involved in anything even remotely like what she is.  

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7 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

I don't know.  If she willingly let him drive the car why would the plates be changed?  She wouldn't ask her dad for money and then completely disappear, turn off her phone, not come home etc...

And the naked picture was taken sometime around Christmas....I guess it was taken at her dad's house and he can tell from the back ground when it was.  She could have sent it to someone......but how would they have her dad's number to send it to her dad?  Unless they have her phone.  

This is just not good IMO.  I hope I am wrong and she is just sleeping it off somewhere.

Oh I don't think that she simply gave it to him or that she's not in danger. I was simply answering why he wouldn't tell them where she is, even if she isn't in danger.  No matter what her circumstances are right now he doesn't care and the less info he gives to the police the less he incriminates himself. He is banking on them not finding what he knows(assuming he's know something.) 

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31 minutes ago, BusyMom5 said:

I'm sorry people are picking on you, Scarlett.  You are right to be terrified for your niece.  I'd consider a tracker if it were my car, too, given how it was being used.  I will pray for her, that she is found safe.  And that her parents will be able to love her through thus, so that she comes out while on the other side.  

 

26 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

Thank you.  She has a habit of only texting her parents and not calling them.  My sister tried to call her 2 nights ago so she could hear her voice but she wouldn't answer except text.  Thankfully she had dinner with her dad night Sunday night so we know she was alive then. And THANK GOD he was able to put that tracker on or we would not have this time line to know when she went missing.  Oh and I don't know if I mentioned after the naked picture was sent her phone was shut off.  

 

23 minutes ago, Happy2BaMom said:

I am so sorry. I can’t even imagine. 

Holding you all in the light. 

And this is why I would have no qualms about putting a tracker on my car if my kid (esp my daughter) had a pattern of making those same type of choices. 
 

(I’ve already told my 18-yo....if you’re legally an adult but still financially dependent *and* making dangerous choices, my subsequent choices will be those of a parent raising a troubled dependent, not peer-to-peer.)

Echoing these thoughts about a tracker on a vehicle. I think there is a significant difference between monitoring the activity of a healthy independent adult, and a young adult child with a track record of making dangerous life choices. The first is spying, the latter a safety net. 

15 minutes ago, Quill said:

I have not read all the post so I’m sorry if my post is not current. I hope she is found safe. I totally understood what you meant by “dancing and all that goes with it.” I would be terribly worried, too. 
I do not believe in “tough love.” I think it is a ridiculous concept. 

I believe there is something to be gained in learning from one’s mistakes, but I agree that “tough love” is often misapplied. So yeah, I could ditch that term.  

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1 minute ago, Scarlett said:

Ok, help me think through what you are saying.....she texts her dad at 1:00 a.m for money to get home. (which the dad doesn't hear)  And then a random person sends a text of her naked to her dad at 2:00 a.m. which he does hear and immediately  begins calling her to see where she is and how he can help her.  But she doesn't answer.  I don't see how that fits into she is just at a party and he just happened to steal her car.  But what do I know. I have never been involved in anything even remotely like what she is.  

But at the same time, why would someone who has kidnapped or seriously harmed your niece send her dad a pic? They'd have to be pretty stupid to do bring more attention to them. Because the reality is, the cops likely wouldn't be looking for her if that message wasn't sent. She hasn't been missing long enough for most police to take it seriously

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1 minute ago, Seasider too said:

believe there is something to be gained in learning from one’s mistakes, but I agree that “tough love” is often misapplied. So yeah, I could ditch that term.

I agree. Many people, IME, use the idea of tough love as a convenient way to wash their hands of difficult or troubled people in their lives. 1 Corinthians 13: “Love is patient, love is kind...” 

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I have experience with relatives doing risky and illegal things. Their thinking is not normal so there are so many possibilities as to what happened to your niece.

I'm continuing to pray that she will be found safe and soon.

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1 minute ago, Sneezyone said:

I've watched entirely too much ID TV. I hope your niece is found safe, Scarlett. This situation is horrific. Whatever she or her family may or may not have done, no one deserves this.

Just what my sister and I were talking about the other day.  We both watch a lot of that too.  And she was telling me how she won't let her daughter bring anyone to their home .  She hangs out with the kind of people who come back and murder the entire house to steal a tv or something.  Very scary. 

I keep thinking they handed her off to trafficker's at the mall.  But who knows.  That was like 6 p.m.. last night...she could have already been killed by then since it was 1:00 that her phone sent a text to her dad.....I mean we don't even know it was her that sent that 1:00 a.m. text.  

 

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9 minutes ago, Seasider too said:

 

 

Echoing these thoughts about a tracker on a vehicle. I think there is a significant difference between monitoring the activity of a healthy independent adult, and a young adult child with a track record of making dangerous life choices. The first is spying, the latter a safety net. 

 

Exactly.  

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1 minute ago, Thatboyofmine said:

I am just seeing this, Scarlett.  I’m am worried to death.  Praying for a good outcome!   
 

the fact that she asked for money to get home makes me think the car was already gone by then, right?   So maybe the guy pulled over really did just take it and not do anything to her?   I’m trying to figure out the naked pic.  I just don’t know.   

I don't know.  She easily could have just been out of gas and out of money.  But maybe it wasn't even her asking for money....and the naked pic was some sort of attempt to intimidate the dad to send money if they felt like he was ignoring them?  It is probably pointless to try to figure out the mind of people like that but I am near out of my mind with worry for her.  

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8 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

Just what my sister and I were talking about the other day.  We both watch a lot of that too.  And she was telling me how she won't let her daughter bring anyone to their home .  She hangs out with the kind of people who come back and murder the entire house to steal a tv or something.  Very scary. 

I keep thinking they handed her off to trafficker's at the mall.  But who knows.  That was like 6 p.m.. last night...she could have already been killed by then since it was 1:00 that her phone sent a text to her dad.....I mean we don't even know it was her that sent that 1:00 a.m. text.  

 

You'll drive yourself crazy coming up with different possibilities. Try to focus what's known. The police are actively investigating and the trail isn't yet cold. Until you know otherwise, she's alive and at risk.

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3 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

You'll drive yourself crazy coming up with different possibilities. Try to focus what's known. The police are actively investigating and the trail isn't yet cold. Until you know otherwise, she's alive and at risk.

This. I’m so thankful that there are detectives working on her behalf, and hopeful that you will have some answers soon.  
 

 

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Praying for her safety. My heart goes out to you & her parents. Only those who have loved someone with mental illness or emotional instability have lived this type of scenario. It’s an awful experience and you all have my compassion and sincere hope that’s she found safely and quickly.
No judgement of your loved one or her parents is ever going to help make this situation better. No one deserves this. ever. 

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11 minutes ago, East Coast Sue said:

Praying for her safety. My heart goes out to you & her parents. Only those who have loved someone with mental illness or emotional instability have lived this type of scenario. It’s an awful experience and you all have my compassion and sincere hope that’s she found safely and quickly.
No judgement of your loved one or her parents is ever going to help make this situation better. No one deserves this. ever. 

This.  It has been going on for a couple of years.  She had been making the worst choices.  Her parents, her siblings.....everyone has begged and pleaded with her to change course.  Nothing gets through to her.  

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Just now, Scarlett said:

This.  It has been going on for a couple of years.  She had been making the worst choices.  Her parents, her siblings.....everyone has begged and pleaded with her to change course.  Nothing gets through to her.  

We have lived this, too. It is excruciating.  My heart aches for everyone who’s been there with young adult kids who have mental illness, substance addiction, chronic bad choices.  May we all arrive on the other side of this with our hearts intact. And may your niece arrive home safely.  

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It is not good.   The guy found driving her car is the same thug who contacted my younger niece a few weeks  back.  He is known to police as a pimp.  The police are currently looking for his partner.  

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5 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

It is not good.   The guy found driving her car is the same thug who contacted my younger niece a few weeks  back.  He is known to police as a pimp.  The police are currently looking for his partner.  

I'm sorry.  

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11 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

It is not good.   The guy found driving her car is the same thug who contacted my younger niece a few weeks  back.  He is known to police as a pimp.  The police are currently looking for his partner.  

Let's hope it is good in that they know who to follow leads on and keep pursuing.

Continuing to pray.

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1 hour ago, Scarlett said:

Ok, help me think through what you are saying.....she texts her dad at 1:00 a.m for money to get home. (which the dad doesn't hear)  And then a random person sends a text of her naked to her dad at 2:00 a.m. which he does hear and immediately  begins calling her to see where she is and how he can help her.  But she doesn't answer.  I don't see how that fits into she is just at a party and he just happened to steal her car.  But what do I know. I have never been involved in anything even remotely like what she is.  

I'm betting she left her phone in the car when it got taken? Or the guy who took the car took her phone? Or a drunk friend took it and was messing with it?

35 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

It is not good.   The guy found driving her car is the same thug who contacted my younger niece a few weeks  back.  He is known to police as a pimp.  The police are currently looking for his partner.  

Well, that may be why he doesn't want to say where she is, she could give evidence about him?

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45 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

It is not good.   The guy found driving her car is the same thug who contacted my younger niece a few weeks  back.  He is known to police as a pimp.  The police are currently looking for his partner.  

I feel sick about this situation. One of my kids struggles with a mental illness, and her decisions are often irrational. I could picture that dd in one of these kinds of situations. It's not something that tough love or consequences can fix. 

I'll be praying like it was my own dd. 

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6 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

I feel sick about this situation. One of my kids struggles with a mental illness, and her decisions are often irrational. I could picture that dd in one of these kinds of situations. It's not something that tough love or consequences can fix. 

I'll be praying like it was my own dd. 

You are correct about that.  

They did not keep the guy in custody.  He claims he did not know the plates were changed.  And that my niece loaned him the car.  So nothing to hold him on.  

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3 hours ago, Scarlett said:

Yes, but in conjunction with her also missing I don't think it is a good thing.  The car was at a mall for about an hour before her dad could get in to the city.  Then it went back to the same complex and that is where he found it with switched out plates.  

My dh says they probably went to the mall to switch out the plates 

We are both praying.  I was mostly off the internet yesterday so I am late to the thread Sorry.

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5 minutes ago, TravelingChris said:

My dh says they probably went to the mall to switch out the plates 

We are both praying.  I was mostly off the internet yesterday so I am late to the thread Sorry.

Oh that makes sense.  Not to steal one from the apartment complex.

 

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Scarlett, my heart is breaking for you, and for her parents. There is nothing more painful than having a young adult 'child' go astray...and the feeling of being powerless and desperate is overwhelming and horrendous. I am praying that she is found safe, and that this sets in motion a plan for her to get help. 

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I am just now seeing this. I think all of us who have dealt with young adults and mental illness totally understand how complicated these situations become. Praying for a good outcome and then a path to health for your niece. Absolutely terrifying. 

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So many hugs and prayers right now for your niece and family. I cannot even imagine going through something like this. Hold strong, hugs.

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The guy driving her car told the police he dropped her off a hotel I guess Monday.....??  Not clear if it was Sunday night or Monday day...but he claimed to not know the name of it.....just a random hotel....detectives checked several hotels in the area he indicated but no sign of her.  Personally I think he is just leading them on a wild goose chase and he knows exactly where she is.   On his IG his last post about 14 hours ago says 'baccstabbss I don't forget.'    And he has a note on his bio that says, 'no one text me, I don't have my phone.  I can't say too much.'

I just can't believe this.  It is like a nightmare.  

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I would also try to push to have the FBI brought in (if there's ANY possible argument of there being cross-state-lines movement of people). I don't know where this is happening, but I think there's a risk of police being less invested in finding someone whom they deem to engage in high risk behavior (aka sex workers). So I would make sure your family is doing everything it can to humanize her to the police. 

Keep records of what the sketchy guy posted. Also, if the car belongs to the dad, he should report it stolen so they have reason to arrest him. 

I'd also try to track her phone.

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Just now, lauraw4321 said:

I would also try to push to have the FBI brought in (if there's ANY possible argument of there being cross-state-lines movement of people). I don't know where this is happening, but I think there's a risk of police being less invested in finding someone whom they deem to engage in high risk behavior (aka sex workers). So I would make sure your family is doing everything it can to humanize her to the police. 

Keep records of what the sketchy guy posted. Also, if the car belongs to the dad, he should report it stolen so they have reason to arrest him. 

I'd also try to track her phone.

I assume the car is back in the possession of the dad.  I didn't ask that directly but the dad was on the side of the road with my younger niece when the police were going through it.  They said they had no proof that he did not have permission from my niece to drive it and it had not been reported stolen at that time so they couldn't charge him with it.

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3 minutes ago, lauraw4321 said:

I would also try to push to have the FBI brought in (if there's ANY possible argument of there being cross-state-lines movement of people). I don't know where this is happening, but I think there's a risk of police being less invested in finding someone whom they deem to engage in high risk behavior (aka sex workers). So I would make sure your family is doing everything it can to humanize her to the police. 

Keep records of what the sketchy guy posted. Also, if the car belongs to the dad, he should report it stolen so they have reason to arrest him. 

I'd also try to track her phone.

This is what I figured too, so I was surprised they have already listed her as a missing person.  I think the picture sent to her dad's phone helped motivate them, but really I don't know.  Maybe having a suspect that is known to them.  He is really a thug.  Ugh.  

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2 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

This is what I figured too, so I was surprised they have already listed her as a missing person.  I think the picture sent to her dad's phone helped motivate them, but really I don't know.  Maybe having a suspect that is known to them.  He is really a thug.  Ugh.  

They should also consider offering a reward. Someone knows something and someone may be willing to talk. 

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