Inauguration - NO POLITICS, just thoughts on the ceremony

[vonfirmath]

2 minutes ago, Seasider too said:

I didn’t hear the mispronunciation. But I have to think a minute before saying Harris’ first name. For many years I did child care for a little one named Kamala, however, her name was pronounced keh-MAH-lah. It has been hard for me to have KAH-MAH-LAH roll naturally off my tongue after years of conditioning to the other pronunciation. I’m working on it. But if it had been my responsibility to swear her into office, I’d have spent many hours in practice. 
 

I can never remember how to say Sephora, either. I just don’t say it often enough, only when I run out of makeup. 

At work I'm running into endless problems saying "Bowie" I thought I knew how to say it because of Jim Bowie and the Bowie knife. But turns out -- the way I "knew" to say it is wrong and now I'm having a hard time remembering what is "Right"

[rainbird2]

51 minutes ago, wathe said:

Microaggressions are so insidious because, individually, they seem so innocent.  It's the cumulative effect of microaggression after micoraggresion over time that's damaging.

Asking "Where are you from?" really feels like an innocent question, doesn't it?  And sometimes it's totally appropriate (like when meeting new people at a conference and everyone is actually from somewhere else).  But when one is frequently the victim of being singled out with WAYF because of the way one looks, one develops the habit of reacting defensively to the question even when the context is innocent. It's a conditioned response.

 

I don't want to derail the thread, but I would like to ask...what is the best way to ask someone about their ethnicity?  Or, is it never a good idea to ask?  I ask because I am genuinely curious, I love knowing people's backgrounds, and I love learning about their culture. 

We are a blended family of 6 different ethnicities.  My husband and I attended a high school that we nicknamed the U.N.  We often asked people's ethnic backgrounds because we needed to know if we should speak Mandarin or Cantonese in one house, or Gujarati or Punjabi, or Arabic or Swahili in another.  It was no big deal. 

What is acceptable these days?

[MercyA]

4 minutes ago, Seasider too said:

But I have to think a minute before saying Harris’ first name.

I do, too. I read almost all my news, have been very isolated, and honestly haven't heard her name *spoken* much yet. I know that sounds weird, but it's true.

[kbutton]

I thought it was neat to read a bit about the Bible the president used.

https://www.christianitytoday.com/news/2021/january/biden-bible-big-oath-office-catholic-history.html

I have a lot of Catholic family that was uncomfortable with reading a Bible at home in previous generations (current generations seem mixed on that in my family), so the information about the significance of such a Bible to Catholics at the time this Bible was published was interesting to me. 

[YaelAldrich]

9 minutes ago, rainbird2 said:

I don't want to derail the thread, but I would like to ask...what is the best way to ask someone about their ethnicity?  Or, is it never a good idea to ask?  I ask because I am genuinely curious, I love knowing people's backgrounds, and I love learning about their culture. 

We are a blended family of 6 different ethnicities.  My husband and I attended a high school that we nicknamed the U.N.  We often asked people's ethnic backgrounds because we needed to know if we should speak Mandarin or Cantonese in one house, or Gujarati or Punjabi, or Arabic or Swahili in another.  It was no big deal. 

What is acceptable these days?

What Kind of Asian Are You?  from my favorite actor Ken Tanaka.  Also from a different perspective, But We're Speaking Japanese!!!

A question like that might be more palatable from someone who looks not-White (and maybe that's not right).  Perhaps you can preface this kind of question with conversation about your interesting ethnic/racial background.

But honestly I don't bring it up unless the other person brings it up first.  And I am clearly not-White.

[Melissa Louise]

13 minutes ago, MercyA said:

I do, too. I read almost all my news, have been very isolated, and honestly haven't heard her name *spoken* much yet. I know that sounds weird, but it's true.

For no other reason than my own satisfaction, because I won't be called on to discuss her anytime soon, I practice the right way to say it, but I had to look it up first. I don't know the name, and I didn't know the stress in on the first syllable. If I'd only seen it written, I'd be mispronouncing it. So, not weird.

[Sneezyone]

7 minutes ago, YaelAldrich said:

What Kind of Asian Are You?  from my favorite actor Ken Tanaka.  Also from a different perspective, But We're Speaking Japanese!!!

A question like that might be more palatable from someone who looks not-White (and maybe that's not right).  Perhaps you can preface this kind of question with conversation about your interesting ethnic/racial background.

But honestly I don't bring it up unless the other person brings it up first.  And I am clearly not-White.

I never ask either. In the course of getting to know people it either comes up/is volunteered as we seek commonality (usually RE: food or family) or it doesn’t (in which case the person hasn’t invited/welcomed that level of familiarity) and that’s ok too.

Edited January 21, 2021 by Sneezyone

[Melissa Louise]

2 hours ago, Sneezyone said:

One of the beautiful things about language is it’s fluidity; it’s always changing. Missing out on its changing uses and nuances limits the ability to effectively communicate across differences (and understand how others communicate too). Some of the references in the, apparently controversial, poem draw upon forms/styles of communication and references popularized by minority groups in this country. While one needn’t enjoy them, it’s always worthwhile to endeavor to be familiar with them.

Is it controversial over there? 

That's weird, if so. 

I would struggle to find a controversial line in it. 

[Jenny in Florida]

4 hours ago, Sneezyone said:

 There was a lot to like in it for those inclined to do so. She’s the inaugural YOUTH Poet Laureate and her poem reflects that.

Yep. My 26-year-old daughter and the friends with whom she was watching described weeping openly during the reading of the poem. It absolutely spoke to them.

[Shoeless]

11 hours ago, easypeasy said:

 The coats (🤤).

Right? I am going to need to up my coat game if we move back north. The coats were all pretty amazing. 

[Sneezyone]

3 minutes ago, Melissa Louise said:

Is it controversial over there? 

That's weird, if so. 

I would struggle to find a controversial line in it. 

I didn’t find it controversial either but it seems to have inspired some polarized reactions.

Edited January 21, 2021 by Sneezyone

[Melissa Louise]

3 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

I didn’t find it controversial either but it seems to have inspired some polarized reactions.

Like, in the media? 

Just listening to Gorman on the radio right now, and I must admit to doing a double take when I heard her say she's a poet so she doesn't use images!  That's controversial, imo. 

I kind of love the idea that ppl are going to learn more about poetry by thinking about what they did/did not enjoy in the poem. That's neat. 

Although I don't enjoy a lot of spoken word, I am occasionally moved by it, unfortunately not here BUT why would I? It's an inaugural poem. For another nation. I'm hardly the audience. 

I'm just itching to notate, in the way I'd notate any students work. Is that the controversy?

[YaelAldrich]

14 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

I never ask either. In the course of getting to know people it either comes up/is volunteered as we seek commonality (usually RE: food or family) or it doesn’t (in which case the person hasn’t invited/welcomed that level of familiarity) and that’s ok too.

Yeah, I don't get to know everyone's story just as everyone doesn't merit to know my story.  It's tempting but I know how annoying it can be from the many people who have asked me over the decades.

[Sneezyone]

6 minutes ago, Melissa Louise said:

Like, in the media? 

Just listening to Gorman on the radio right now, and I must admit to doing a double take when I heard her say she's a poet so she doesn't use images!  That's controversial, imo. 

I kind of love the idea that ppl are going to learn more about poetry by thinking about what they did/did not enjoy in the poem. That's neat. 

Although I don't enjoy a lot of spoken word, I am occasionally moved by it, unfortunately not here BUT why would I? It's an inaugural poem. For another nation. I'm hardly the audience. 

I'm just itching to notate, in the way I'd notate any students work. Is that the controversy?

I think the style and cadence just isn’t everyone’s cuppa. My biggest quibble, if anything, was that this particular poem was too referential in the way of many young people who are finding *their* voice but that certainly didn’t bother me enough to suggest it wasn’t a poem or that it was a bad poem unworthy of the occasion. I mean, c’mon. Songwriters set poems and stories to music. This style has deep roots. It’s entirely within the realm of normal to me.

Edited January 21, 2021 by Sneezyone

[Lecka]

I am just happy to see a poet in the spotlight! It’s pretty exciting and unusual (to me at least) to see a poet this relevant in discussion.

From before — someone asked about the reason for the pomp and circumstance of the ceremony.  To me, a lot of this is because of the President’s role as Commander-in-Chief.  I agree with what others have said, and I have been interested to see what others have said.  This was my first thought, though.  

[Sneezyone]

4 minutes ago, Lecka said:

I am just happy to see a poet in the spotlight! It’s pretty exciting and unusual (to me at least) to see a poet this relevant in discussion.

From before — someone asked about the reason for the pomp and circumstance of the ceremony.  To me, a lot of this is because of the President’s role as Commander-in-Chief.  I agree with what others have said, and I have been interested to see what others have said.  This was my first thought, though.  

It was definitely good to see artists again. I’ve never enjoyed country music but I enjoyed Garth Brooks and his enthusiasm. I did not enjoy JLo’s insertion of the ‘Let’s get loud’ line. The occasion’s not about you, lady. Lady Gaga’s vocals were iffy but the spirit/emotion was nice.

Edited January 21, 2021 by Sneezyone

[Melissa Louise]

6 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

I think the style and cadence just isn’t everyone’s cuppa. My biggest quibble, if anything, was that this particular poem was too referential in the way of many young people who are finding *their* voice but that certainly didn’t bother me enough to suggest it wasn’t a poem or that it was a bad poem unworthy of the occasion. I mean, c’mon. Songwriters set poems and stories to music. This style has deep roots. It’s entirely within the realm of normal to me

I'd call it a spoken word political performance. 

Gorman did a great job of providing what the moment required. I hope she has some awesome editors and mentors in her future and wish her every success in negotiating the demands of art and the demands of a public persona. 

C'mon, I was always going to be interested in a poem that's headlining around the world. That's my jam.

And Bernie. 

And Bernie's mittens.

 

[wathe]

14 minutes ago, rainbird2 said:

I don't want to derail the thread, but I would like to ask...what is the best way to ask someone about their ethnicity?  Or, is it never a good idea to ask?  I ask because I am genuinely curious, I love knowing people's backgrounds, and I love learning about their culture. 

We are a blended family of 6 different ethnicities.  My husband and I attended a high school that we nicknamed the U.N.  We often asked people's ethnic backgrounds because we needed to know if we should speak Mandarin or Cantonese in one house, or Gujarati or Punjabi, or Arabic or Swahili in another.  It was no big deal. 

What is acceptable these days?

I think a good general rule of thumb is just don't ask.  Unless there is a good reason why you need to know (and there usually isn't).  Or ask yourself if you would be asking this question if askee were white.  Particularly in casual conversations with someone you've just met, or as small talk.  Curiosity and interest are problematic - because, when you ask WAYF to satisfy curiosity and interest, you are doing this at the expense of othering the askee.  In essence, you are demonstrating that the dominant group's curiosity is more important than the minority group's inclusion/comfort. 

Situations within friendship groups where there is an ongoing relationship, and everyone is swapping origin stories are different. 

[Sneezyone]

4 minutes ago, Melissa Louise said:

I'd call it a spoken word political performance. 

Gorman did a great job of providing what the moment required. I hope she has some awesome editors and mentors in her future and wish her every success in negotiating the demands of art and the demands of a public persona. 

C'mon, I was always going to be interested in a poem that's headlining around the world. That's my jam.

And Bernie. 

And Bernie's mittens.

 

A lot of poetry is political. Recitations can be staid or passionate. Do you think the location or delivery or length changes the nature of the words themselves? “On the Pulse of Morning” was a full 6-minute poem delivered in dead silence. I still enjoy how it builds upon itself.

Edited January 21, 2021 by Sneezyone

[Melissa Louise]

Yeah, my kids are on Team Don't Ask. 

They don't get offended but they are bored of the question. 

Especially, don't ask, get an answer and then say 'but you don't look X! Maybe you're Y!'

True story. My eldest gets that a LOT. 

[vonfirmath]

2 minutes ago, wathe said:

I think a good general rule of thumb is just don't ask.  Unless there is a good reason why you need to know (and there usually isn't).  Or ask yourself if you would be asking this question if askee were white.  Particularly in casual conversations with someone you've just met, or as small talk.  Curiosity and interest are problematic - because, when you ask WAYF to satisfy curiosity and interest, you are doing this at the expense of othering the askee.  In essence, you are demonstrating that the dominant group's curiosity is more important than the minority group's inclusion/comfort. 

Situations within friendship groups where there is an ongoing relationship, and everyone is swapping origin stories are different. 

I wonder if this is a case where schools have opened the door

Almost every year, my kids have had to do a project that have to do with their origins. Dressing a picture up in their cultural clothing. Making food to share from their heritage. Writing a essay about their background. Etc. This does lead to curiousity about where others come from.

 

[wathe]

@Sneezyone and @YaelAldrich said it better than I did.

[Sneezyone]

1 minute ago, vonfirmath said:

I wonder if this is a case where schools have opened the door

Almost every year, my kids have had to do a project that have to do with their origins. Dressing a picture up in their cultural clothing. Making food to share from their heritage. Writing a essay about their background. Etc. This does lead to curiousity about where others come from.

 

My kids have never had this experience. Ever. That is so peculiar! Has no one objected? I would have. It’s especially othering to kids who have no idea b/c they were adopted.

[Melissa Louise]

Just now, Sneezyone said:

A lot of poetry is political. Recitations can be staid or passionate. Do you think the location or delivery or length changes the nature of the words themselves? “On the Pulse of Morning” was a full 6-minute poem delivered in dead silence.

I'm a primacy of the text girl. So no, location and length doesn't change word choice. How could they?

I thought her delivery was great. 

I'd freshen up the political language. If it were mine. Which it's not. 

[vonfirmath]

Just now, Sneezyone said:

My kids have never had this experience. Ever. That is so peculiar! Has no one objected? I would have. It’s especially othering to kids who have no idea b/c they were adopted.

My guess is that some people have made it up. I know it has felt like a weird exercise to us because we don't think our German heritage defines us. But its an assignment so we go forward.

 

[Sneezyone]

3 minutes ago, vonfirmath said:

My guess is that some people have made it up. I know it has felt like a weird exercise to us because we don't think our German heritage defines us. But its an assignment so we go forward.

 

That is so odd. Most teachers I know would be horrified by that. It’s like a family tree assignment. It’s just not done anymore. They, instead, have children choose a country or place to learn about.

Edited January 21, 2021 by Sneezyone

[Sneezyone]

1 minute ago, Melissa Louise said:

I'm a primacy of the text girl. So no, location and length doesn't change word choice. How could they?

I thought her delivery was great. 

I'd freshen up the political language. If it were mine. Which it's not. 

It did lack a bit of the polish that other parts had, probably because it was added at the end. I give her lots of props tho. That’s a tough stage on which to present your work.

[Acorn]

15 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

That is so odd. Most teachers I know would be horrified by that. It’s like a family tree assignment. It’s just not done anymore. They, instead, have children choose a country or place to learn about.

My child had this assignment last year.  I felt uncertain about it at first.  The actual assignment was to share a tradition of your family. At first I was thinking genetically, and I was asking my child how she intended to identify.  She said the teacher gave examples, like maybe your family eats pie on 3/14, or maybe you have pancakes on your birthday.  Many of her classmates shared food and traditions from other countries. Our family hasn't or couldn't maintain cultural experiences from places our ancestors lived, but my child felt pleased with her presentation.  She said that her family goes camping every year. She talked about camping in a local park and another trip to a National Park.  She shared trailmix as a representation. I thought she should have also brought in her loaded backpack for people to lift, but she thought that would be "too much". She did share with me that she enjoyed seeing her classmates' presentations, and that it was interesting to see what people wanted to share about their families. 

[rainbird2]

38 minutes ago, wathe said:

I think a good general rule of thumb is just don't ask.  Unless there is a good reason why you need to know (and there usually isn't).  Or ask yourself if you would be asking this question if askee were white.  Particularly in casual conversations with someone you've just met, or as small talk.  Curiosity and interest are problematic - because, when you ask WAYF to satisfy curiosity and interest, you are doing this at the expense of othering the askee.  In essence, you are demonstrating that the dominant group's curiosity is more important than the minority group's inclusion/comfort. 

Situations within friendship groups where there is an ongoing relationship, and everyone is swapping origin stories are different. 

Oh goodness, then I better stop with the asking, lol!  I just asked a friend from my kid's extracurricular what part of Eastern Europe is she from?  She's blonde with blue eyes.  My kid's extracurricular has teachers and students from Belarus, Russia, Slovakia...I wanted to know if the same language was spoken in all three countries.  Friend always says, "People from my country are like this or that...parents do this...teachers say that but don't really mean it."

I promise I wasn't being racist...just curious!!  I'll stop!

 

[rainbird2]

40 minutes ago, vonfirmath said:

I wonder if this is a case where schools have opened the door

Almost every year, my kids have had to do a project that have to do with their origins. Dressing a picture up in their cultural clothing. Making food to share from their heritage. Writing a essay about their background. Etc. This does lead to curiousity about where others come from.

 

This was done when I was in school, and we all loved it.  We would have certain ethnic days with presentations during school lunch including native foods, dress, dance.  My favorite part was how many outside of the ethnic group would dress in that culture's clothing for the day.  I loved wearing a sari!!  And kimonos are beautiful!!  I have some great pictures (and great memories) from those days.

[rainbird2]

Dude, I am so old.  Is this what we now call cultural appropriation??  When is it just cultural appreciation? 

Nevermind...we should go back to discussing the Inauguration. 

I appreciate everyone's replies!!  I'll be more conscious of my questioning from now on. 

[Mrs Tiggywinkle]

59 minutes ago, vonfirmath said:

I wonder if this is a case where schools have opened the door

Almost every year, my kids have had to do a project that have to do with their origins. Dressing a picture up in their cultural clothing. Making food to share from their heritage. Writing a essay about their background. Etc. This does lead to curiousity about where others come from.

 

My kid’s public school does this as well.  I don’t think it’s uncommon.

[Sneezyone]

46 minutes ago, Acorn said:

My child had this assignment last year.  I felt uncertain about it at first.  The actual assignment was to share a tradition of your family. At first I was thinking genetically, and I was asking my child how she intended to identify.  She said the teacher gave examples, like maybe your family eats pie on 3/14, or maybe you have pancakes on your birthday.  Many of her classmates shared food and traditions from other countries. Our family hasn't or couldn't maintain cultural experiences from places our ancestors lived, but my child felt pleased with her presentation.  She said that her family goes camping every year. She talked about camping in a local park and another trip to a National Park.  She shared trailmix as a representation. I thought she should have also brought in her loaded backpack for people to lift, but she thought that would be "too much". She did share with me that she enjoyed seeing her classmates' presentations, and that it was interesting to see what people wanted to share about their families. 

That’s cool. It sounds inclusive. The other assignment sounded much more probing.

[Sneezyone]

46 minutes ago, rainbird2 said:

Dude, I am so old.  Is this what we now call cultural appropriation??  When is it just cultural appreciation? 

Nevermind...we should go back to discussing the Inauguration. 

I appreciate everyone's replies!!  I'll be more conscious of my questioning from now on. 
 

No. Parents at my kids schools were welcome to introduce/share things in elementary but those were offered experiences. These same cultural activities happen all the time without being tied to any requirement that you share/explain your own story, a story that some children/families may not know or be connected to in any way. My kids learned about other cultures by researching and presenting their findings and talking, organically, with their friends. It is possible to learn about other cultures without anyone needing to be put on the spot about their own. It’s really not that hard to have kids pick a random place to learn about vs. spill their familial guts.

Edited January 21, 2021 by Sneezyone

[Melissa Louise]

1 hour ago, Sneezyone said:

It did lack a bit of the polish that other parts had, probably because it was added at the end. I give her lots of props tho. That’s a tough stage on which to present your work.

Agreed. 

What would be super cool would be if she got a mentorship out of this exposure with someone like Joy Harjo.

[Jean in Newcastle]

2 hours ago, wathe said:

I think a good general rule of thumb is just don't ask.  Unless there is a good reason why you need to know (and there usually isn't).  Or ask yourself if you would be asking this question if askee were white.  Particularly in casual conversations with someone you've just met, or as small talk.  Curiosity and interest are problematic - because, when you ask WAYF to satisfy curiosity and interest, you are doing this at the expense of othering the askee.  In essence, you are demonstrating that the dominant group's curiosity is more important than the minority group's inclusion/comfort. 

Situations within friendship groups where there is an ongoing relationship, and everyone is swapping origin stories are different. 

I ran into this once. I asked an Asian-American man where he was from and got royally chewed out. But- I was pretty sure but not 100% that I had his dad as a high school teacher when I grew up in Japan. Once I explained that, he calmed down and confirmed that it indeed was his dad. But I should have asked in a more direct way (though I asked indirectly because I couldn’t for the life of me remember his dad’s name at first). 

[Jaybee]

6 hours ago, Sneezyone said:

One of the beautiful things about language is its fluidity; it’s always changing. Missing out on its changing uses and nuances limits the ability to effectively communicate across differences (and understand how others communicate too). Some of the references in the, apparently controversial, poem draw upon forms/styles of communication and references popularized by minority groups in this country. While one needn’t enjoy them, it’s always worthwhile to endeavor to be familiar with them.

I can appreciate the beauty of fluidity of language. I appreciate trying to cross cultures with language. I've tried to do that in major ways longterm in several different countries, with great respect to the cultures where I was a visitor. Maybe I'm a bit too sensitive myself right now due to something else in my life, but it sounds like you are talking down to me here, trying to "school" me. I read constantly. I try to stay up on things. I read from a variety of writers from a variety of cultures. But it is impossible to keep up. It isn't just the natural flow of language developing and changing. It is the changing of meaning from one day to the next due to someone taking offense. There has become such a lack of generosity toward others' intentions in recent years, that I have become hesitant to even try to enter into conversations any more. There is no way to avoid stepping on a mine. And as for me personally, I already said that I liked her poem. I found the word plays and word turns beautiful and interesting, and feel the poem has multiple layers that I want to explore more.

[Shoeless]

2 hours ago, Sneezyone said:

That is so odd. Most teachers I know would be horrified by that. It’s like a family tree assignment. It’s just not done anymore. They, instead, have children choose a country or place to learn about.

The family tree assignment is one of the activities in SOTW volume 1. We skipped it because our family tree is complicated and cannot be neatly displayed on the cute tree graphic that assumes everyone had a traditional family structure where no one has ever divorced, remarried, been adopted, has half-siblings, been raised by a single parent, etc. 

The whole project made me feel panicky and ashamed that I didn't have a tidy, "proper" family history to offer my kid. 😕 

[Guest]

3 hours ago, MissLemon said:

Right? I am going to need to up my coat game if we move back north. The coats were all pretty amazing. 

Coats/layers/sweaters/boots are seriously a major reason I don’t want to live any further south than Virginia. I don’t like the cold but I LOVE cold-weather clothes! I have a red dress coat that I now get to wear to work. I swear I feel like a million bucks in that thing.

[dirty ethel rackham]

4 hours ago, vonfirmath said:

At work I'm running into endless problems saying "Bowie" I thought I knew how to say it because of Jim Bowie and the Bowie knife. But turns out -- the way I "knew" to say it is wrong and now I'm having a hard time remembering what is "Right"

I'm doing my clinical rotation in a hospital that serves communities very different than my white middle class suburban upbringing.  Every day, I am encountering names that I have never seen before or only know one pronunciation.  I try to be respectful if I have to ask how to pronounce it.  If the patient corrects me, I thank them.  Some seem annoyed at first, but I make an effort to use their name with their correct pronunciation during the course the exam.   

3 hours ago, Seasider too said:

I get it!

One of my kids was an extremely early, gifted reader. She picked up lots of word meanings through context, and could use those words appropriately. But if a word had not been heard, this kid simply created her own pronunciation of it. Our educational resource teacher/evaluator said it was common for early readers to do this. 
 

Now a successful mid-twenties adult, we have a good laugh over it now and then. 

All of my kids did this.  My oldest was an early, voracious reader who still has a couple of mispronounced words.  My youngest still cannot remember if "pint" is pronounced like hint or with a long i. If often comes up when we are baking and she messes it up every time.  😅  Oh, and I did it, too.  Yosemite Sam is still yose-might Sam in my head.  

[Sneezyone]

38 minutes ago, Jaybee said:

I can appreciate the beauty of fluidity of language. I appreciate trying to cross cultures with language. I've tried to do that in major ways longterm in several different countries, with great respect to the cultures where I was a visitor. Maybe I'm a bit too sensitive myself right now due to something else in my life, but it sounds like you are talking down to me here, trying to "school" me. I read constantly. I try to stay up on things. I read from a variety of writers from a variety of cultures. But it is impossible to keep up. It isn't just the natural flow of language developing and changing. It is the changing of meaning from one day to the next due to someone taking offense. There has become such a lack of generosity toward others' intentions in recent years, that I have become hesitant to even try to enter into conversations any more. There is no way to avoid stepping on a mine. And as for me personally, I already said that I liked her poem. I found the word plays and word turns beautiful and interesting, and feel the poem has multiple layers that I want to explore more.

Actually, no, I wasn’t trying to school you. I was simply pointing out that engaging people who use and interpret language differently than you do is worth the effort however uncomfy that may be. Language changes faster than books can capture. I think sometimes people hold up books and ‘classics’ as if modern language and usage has nothing to offer when the lack of familiarity with current usage can be a detriment too and leave folks feeling isolated from the world moving on without them. My DH gets a brand new crop of 18yos to work with every year. Maintaining some familiarity with how they use language is an occupational necessity.

Edited January 22, 2021 by Sneezyone

[Jaybee]

2 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

Actually, no, I wasn’t trying to school you. I was simply pointing out that engaging people who use and interpret language differently than you do is worth the effort however uncomfy that may be. Language changes faster than books can capture.

Okay, I apologize for taking it that way. I do make the effort, and believe me, I have crossed out of my cultural and language comfort zones more times than I can count. I mean, I lived outside of them full-time for years. I wasn't only referring to reading books, however. I read for hours online, most days. But language is changing faster than "I" can capture, as well. And most people do not have the time or other resources to read as much as I do, so I can't even imagine how lost they feel these days.

[Annie G]

44 minutes ago, Quill said:

Coats/layers/sweaters/boots are seriously a major reason I don’t want to live any further south than Virginia. I don’t like the cold but I LOVE cold-weather clothes! I have a red dress coat that I now get to wear to work. I swear I feel like a million bucks in that thing.

People in Atlanta wear all of those things because to them, 40 degrees is cold, and warrants that kind of clothing.  We moved back here from Northern Illinois two years ago and we have yet to wear a coat or gloves. I’m sure we’ll acclimate.  just saying...you wouldn’t be out of place wearing your favorite cold weather garb here. 

[TechWife]

I have a new found appreciation for protocol these days. I think that is why the public ceremony is important. It communicates a lot of things to both the people here in the US and to people around the world about the way our government is run. It recognizes the importance of the positions as well. I think if you are going to be leading our country, it us all to witness the promise made to uphold the Constitution.

 

[Terabith]

12 minutes ago, Annie G said:

People in Atlanta wear all of those things because to them, 40 degrees is cold, and warrants that kind of clothing.  We moved back here from Northern Illinois two years ago and we have yet to wear a coat or gloves. I’m sure we’ll acclimate.  just saying...you wouldn’t be out of place wearing your favorite cold weather garb here. 

Truth.  I moved from Denver to San Antonio, before we came to Virginia.  We loved San Antonio winter.  It was finally cool enough to go outside!  It was mostly in the 50's or 60's, but people were putting on parkas and mittens as soon as it dropped below 70.  I was given a newborn snow suit for my baby when I was pregnant.  

 

[Garga]

5 hours ago, Melissa Louise said:

For no other reason than my own satisfaction, because I won't be called on to discuss her anytime soon, I practice the right way to say it, but I had to look it up first. I don't know the name, and I didn't know the stress in on the first syllable. If I'd only seen it written, I'd be mispronouncing it. So, not weird.

I read the name a bunch of times before ever hearing it and had no clue how to pronounce it. But after reading what you wrote above, I doubt I’ll ever mispronounce it again: Kamala is the *first female VP and her name is stressed on the *first syllable.

4 hours ago, Sneezyone said:

It was definitely good to see artists again. I’ve never enjoyed country music but I enjoyed Garth Brooks and his enthusiasm. I did not enjoy JLo’s insertion of the ‘Let’s get loud’ line. The occasion’s not about you, lady. Lady Gaga’s vocals were iffy but the spirit/emotion was nice.

I very much hated JLo’s interjection in the middle of the song. It completely took me away from the moment in a negative, jarring way. I had no idea what was going on and still don’t. Is it referencing a song she wrote? I really feel like it was all about “look at meeee!”. But since I have no clue what was happening, maybe I’m misreading that. (?) What did it mean? Why did she do that?

[AmandaVT]

And there's a "Put Bernie Anywhere" site:http://bernie-sits.herokuapp.com/?fbclid=IwAR0XCEoiJ0olX5lS5mn3Xk0VSpC0Nv1oTPIga3ut-Xdqu895EeYO1zWYkD4

Also, Bob Ross 😂

[Sneezyone]

14 minutes ago, Garga said:

I read the name a bunch of times before ever hearing it and had no clue how to pronounce it. But after reading what you wrote above, I doubt I’ll ever mispronounce it again: Kamala is the *first female VP and her name is stressed on the *first syllable.

I very much hated JLo’s interjection in the middle of the song. It completely took me away from the moment in a negative, jarring way. I had no idea what was going on and still don’t. Is it referencing a song she wrote? I really feel like it was all about “look at meeee!”. But since I have no clue what was happening, maybe I’m misreading that. (?) What did it mean? Why did she do that?

It’s a line from a song she popularized. It had no place in the ceremony. I had the same reaction you did. Very out of place.

[Robin M]

5 hours ago, rainbird2 said:

I don't want to derail the thread, but I would like to ask...what is the best way to ask someone about their ethnicity?  Or, is it never a good idea to ask?  I ask because I am genuinely curious, I love knowing people's backgrounds, and I love learning about their culture. 

We are a blended family of 6 different ethnicities.  My husband and I attended a high school that we nicknamed the U.N.  We often asked people's ethnic backgrounds because we needed to know if we should speak Mandarin or Cantonese in one house, or Gujarati or Punjabi, or Arabic or Swahili in another.  It was no big deal. 

What is acceptable these days?

My son has aspergers, not much of a filter and is always curious about people he meets from every ethnicity.  Every person he's asked has been quite open and provided feedback graciously how that question could be perceived and helped him to fine tune the question so it wouldn't be offensive or insulting.  After engaging in a conversation, he now asks what is your heritage, where were your ancestors from?  No one has ever been insulted by the questions and always happy to talk about it and has lead to fascinating stories and conversations. So it's not always a bad thing. 

Edited January 22, 2021 by Robin M

[ktgrok]

25 minutes ago, Seasider too said:

I felt the same about Jennifer Lopez. I am not a big fan of hers to begin with. She stepped out a little too far with the “let’s get loud,” IMO. She had a sweet voice when singing a ballad, but her shout out lacked decorum. Wrong place, wrong time. 

Given her super bowl act, I think decorum isn't her thing, lol.