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Anyone been diagnosed with autism as an adult?


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I’ve been pretty open that I fell Into a deep depression after having Covid.  I wound up seeing a therapist, who turned out to be my second cousin on both my mom’s and my dad’s side. Shallow gene pool.  In any case, she knows so much more family hx than I do and sent me to a neuropsych, armed with so much more knowledge than I ever have before about my genetic quirks.  I knew some of it due to the genetics we had done with DS but honestly they explained what DS’s genetics meant but not mine.  There is a paternal line of mine where autism, bipolar and major depression are rampant, but I only found out because I got placed with this therapist who turned out to be a relation.

long story short the neuropsych told me I’m autistic.  I see it looking back on my childhood...I couldn’t function in a classroom(I was past the material and the teacher asked dumb questions like “Aren’t we excited to be here” and got offended when I truthfully replied I was not), I was a very rigid, black and white kid that never functioned well socially and couldn’t understand social cues, and yes...I even had meltdowns when faced with new and anxiety producing situations, like my son does. 

my dad was diagnosed as an adult but we saw it a long time coming.  This was more of a shock to me....but it explains a lot and is oddly satisfying.

Still doesn’t solve the Covid depression though.  I’ve always had anxiety but the depression on top is crushing. 

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I would not have guessed that about you. You seem very concerned with social situations and several of your posts have been about handling tricky situations with far more grace and less drama than I would have been capable of. 
 

Have you asked about ketamine?  Idk if it’s the first line treatment but I’ve heard good things about it rapidly lifting people out of severe depression.

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I was diagnosed as an adult, about two years after I realized I was Autistic.  My autism was a huge surprise for me, my still-undiagnosed dad was the Autistic one, not me!  But women are different, and can have milder social deficits than their male counterparts.  After I had a chance to wrap my mind around it, the label totally fits.  I recommend reading memoirs of other Autistic women diagnosed as adults.  Check out Cynthia Kim or Liane Holliday Willey.

Once I told my family about my diagnosis, I found out that several other family members suspect they too are Autistic.  Or have an ADHD diagnosis.  I had no idea.

I’ve also had COVID and it triggered major, major anxiety.  Fortunately, almost a year later that symptom has largely resolved, even though I’m still dealing with other symptoms.  COVID can really mess with your mental health.  Not just the stress of being ill, it can directly impact your brain chemistry.

You have a lot on your plate. Be gentle with yourself.  It takes awhile to digest an Autism diagnosis, but it has been so wonderful for understanding my life and my family. 

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12 minutes ago, Katy said:

I would not have guessed that about you. You seem very concerned with social situations and several of your posts have been about handling tricky situations with far more grace and less drama than I would have been capable of. 
 

Have you asked about ketamine?  Idk if it’s the first line treatment but I’ve heard good things about it rapidly lifting people out of severe depression.

I write much better than I speak or present in real life, to be honest. I have always had serious difficulty in understanding social cues, but when I was a kid and my parents questioned that they were told I was just awkward.  For instance, I am completely unable to tell if someone dislikes me or is uninterested in a friendship, and that’s caused problems over the years.  I don’t pick up on the subtle things that other people do.

I also hate drama and go out of my way to avoid it. A lot of my social questioning posts on here are really just about avoiding drama, because I’ve always known I don’t always see social relationship intracacies clearly. 

I have to fail more conservative treatment before they’ll authorize ketamine.  So far my doctors seem to think it’s just post Covid syndrome and will lift on its own. I’ve started being able to smell again, but now everything smells like burnt meat. Covid is weird.

Edited by Mrs Tiggywinkle
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1dd was officially diagnosed as an adult (after years of trying to figure out what was going on.).   It came as a shock to me, but made sense for her particular set of symptoms - and I've suspected I was autistic before it was even suggested that she was.  She has a very high IQ, and zero learning disabilities (dudeling was assessed by an audiologist for CAPD, and 1ds has a school assessed processing disorder - but they have the same learning disability symptoms - their GUIs don't like to talk to their HDs - of never-assessed me.). So that was outside my experience.

I've done several online unofficial assessments.  There was one, where my "graphic" was more narrow than 1dd's. (but otherwise similar.)

there are many genetic links, (with over 20 identified genes) one reason it can manifest in so many different ways.  researchers are coming to believe ASD is a 'catch-all' term for a variety of disorders.  We know at least one of the genes - 1dd and I are both homozygous for it.  it affects vascular as well.  I can see the history of this gene through my maternal grandmother's family. I know nothing about my dad's family health.

1dd swears by somatic therapy - which helps to stimulate the vagus nerve.  we've seen huge, leaps and bounds, changes in her since she started.  I found yoga very helpful.   dr. Stephan Porges posited his theory of the connection between autism and the vagus nerve in Poly-vagal theory.  Though i've been warned it reads like a 600 page dissertation.

 

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I'm guessing it is not super common to be officially diagnosed as an adult. That said, there are certainly many many undiagnosed adults out there. I wish it was easier to get information and help.

I had never thought deeply about my father's brilliant but...difficult...personality, until his psych nurse wife mentioned that he was almost certainly on the spectrum. Lots of things made sense to me at that point. I see it all over the family now, including two of my daughters (mild, and to different degrees).

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1 hour ago, gardenmom5 said:

1dd swears by somatic therapy - which helps to stimulate the vagus nerve.  we've seen huge, leaps and bounds, changes in her since she started.  I found yoga very helpful.   dr. Stephan Porges posited his theory of the connection between autism and the vagus nerve in Poly-vagal theory.  Though i've been warned it reads like a 600 page dissertation.

And there is a theory that COVID also impacts the Vagus nerve.  You could be predisposed to greater sensitivity to the impacts of COVID.  This is actually empowering to me. COVID stumbled upon my weaknesses, but it doesn’t get to take credit for them!

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Just now, Lawyer&Mom said:

And there is a theory that COVID also impacts the Vagus nerve.  You could be predisposed to greater sensitivity to the impacts of COVID.  This is actually empowering to me. COVID stumbled upon my weaknesses, but it doesn’t get to take credit for them!

Interesting - and the vagus nerve winds itself through all the organs, as well as the brain and spinal cord.  (and the face, could affect the nose.)

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4 hours ago, gardenmom5 said:

there are many genetic links, (with over 20 identified genes) one reason it can manifest in so many different ways.  researchers are coming to believe ASD is a 'catch-all' term for a variety of disorders.  We know at least one of the genes - 1dd and I are both homozygous for it.  it affects vascular as well.  I can see the history of this gene through my maternal grandmother's family. I know nothing about my dad's family health.

Do you mind sharing which gene this is? PM is okay if that's more comfortable.

We have some people in the family with ASD traits and lots of vascular stuff that is not explained (my son has ASD). 

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9 minutes ago, kbutton said:

Do you mind sharing which gene this is? PM is okay if that's more comfortable.

We have some people in the family with ASD traits and lots of vascular stuff that is not explained (my son has ASD). 

MTHFR - specifically, we have 1298.  My dd and I are both homozygous.  Dh and at least one of  his sisters have it because a nephew is heterozygous for it.  (and his son is compound heterozygous, and his wife only has 677) - their brother was also likely ASD, ADD - and I'm sure he was Schizophrenic.  the scary kind.

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7 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle said:

Still doesn’t solve the Covid depression though.  I’ve always had anxiety but the depression on top is crushing. 

You could check your NBPF3 and the RS4654748. I was homozygous for the defect and it's I think maybe more common in autism. http://www.mensahmedical.com/pyroluria-pyrrole-disorder/  My dad would come to visit me and I would go from FINE to IN BED UNABLE TO MOVE in just a matter of days. Just being exposed to his emotion was overwhelming to my system and with that defect on top I was just leaching nutrients, falling into a hole. Maybe something like that is exacerbating the covid depression. 

7 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle said:

I have to fail more conservative treatment before they’ll authorize ketamine.  So far my doctors seem to think it’s just post Covid syndrome and will lift on its own. I’ve started being able to smell again, but now everything smells like burnt meat. Covid is weird.

I'm sorry you're struggling so much. It makes sense that it could be part of the post covid syndrome, but that doens't mean it's acceptable. Do you have your genetics to check your methylation status? Wasn't someone saying they're using niacin to treat post covid syndromes? Like it does something opening up in the brain all magical like? 

3 hours ago, Lawyer&Mom said:

the Vagus nerve.

The vagus nerve is such an interesting thing. At the most basic level, you can *hum* for it. Like body scan a part, close your eyes and focus on it, and HUM, putting your energy to that place. Do that around your body. Body scanning 3-4 X a day is just generally good.

7 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle said:

it explains a lot and is oddly satisfying.

Good. 

I particularly like Pretending to be Normal. It's worth a read. People are out there with their experiences, and I guess I'm not socially interested enough to bother with it. Like these people who say oh do you read this person or follow that blog or go to this group or whatever, and I'm like WHY?? What part of social disorder do we not understand?? LOL 

https://www.socialthinking.com/Articles?name=social-thinking-social-communication-profile  generally useful info to ponder

https://www.kelly-mahler.com/what-is-interoception/  Life altering. Do it. Treat yourself. Start tonight, pay for the online course. Nuts, I think tomorrow she's doing a free webinar. Yup, here's the link https://www.kelly-mahler.com/resources/blog/5-keys-to-supporting-behavior-regulation/  Celebrate yourself by starting here.

It seems to me that, in the absence of knowing what to do, the best thing you can do is to take of yourself, be good to yourself, and try to do something each day that makes you feel good. If you don't know what those things are, then that's all the more reason to prioritize the Interoception stuff. 

5 hours ago, gardenmom5 said:

identified genes

Total aside for op or anyone who wants to, you can participate in the SPARK study if you are officially diagnosed. https://sparkforautism.org  

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8 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle said:

neuropsych

Ooo, then it's official! You can sign up for the SPARK study. It's kinda fun. They give you gift cards for your time and you'll occasionally receive offers to participate in studies or fill out more questionaires for more gift cards. 

8 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle said:

meltdowns when faced with new and anxiety producing situations

The worst part is that when you think oh I'm 44, I know myself, I have strategies, I don't do that anymore, they STILL happen, lol. I was at the PT office and had been with the same person every week for how many weeks. The LAST SESSION they bring in some fellowship/doctoral student, change things out on me, and I flip out, start ranting, go to the bathroom 14 times, and finally leave. So I'm not sure it's every completely *past tense*. LOL

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Yes, though not recently - I was still a teen, just a legal adult. That liminal age!

Though another poster upthread is right - it's a lot less common for people to get a formal diagnosis in adulthood, especially post-college because they simply don't always see a need for one.

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Pretty sure I’m on the spectrum. I’ve always known I was neuro-divergent. At first I blamed it on “giftedness” because my gifted class teacher told us that basically if we are weirdos—that’s why.

Then later I realized I have ADHD inattentive type. I’ve never been diagnosed for that either because so many moms were feigning ADD to get the meds. No doctor would take me seriously. 

My realization came after my dd’s dx. Both my husband and I have traits. If it doesn’t rise to the level of official dx, when at least have the “broad autism phenotype”.

i very much relate to OP/Mrs Tiggy’s post. On nearly every point. Except I never had meltdowns.

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6 minutes ago, popmom said:

Pretty sure I’m on the spectrum. I’ve always known I was neuro-divergent. At first I blamed it on “giftedness” because my gifted class teacher told us that basically if we are weirdos—that’s why.

Then later I realized I have ADHD inattentive type. I’ve never been diagnosed for that either because so many moms were feigning ADD to get the meds. No doctor would take me seriously. 

My realization came after my dd’s dx. Both my husband and I have traits. If it doesn’t rise to the level of official dx, when at least have the “broad autism phenotype”.

i very much relate to OP/Mrs Tiggy’s post. On nearly every point. Except I never had meltdowns.

sigh.   Years ago I read some supplementary material Orson Scott Card included at the back of an edition of Ender's Game.  Basically - he got a lot of "impolitic" letters from "gifted teachers" (I use the term loosely), berating him for how he portrayed gifted students and claiming they weren't like that.

tbh: if the teacher is saying her students are all "wierdos" - she's in the wrong classroom, and probably the wrong profession.

Also, at the same time - he received a plethora of letters from *actual* gifted students thanking him - for understanding them.  I have a couple high IQ kids.  I know some of the crap they've dealt with from teachers. (it's interesting, I have one hardworking kid, very diligent and teachers loved them - but they never got the crap my tested out as "gifted" kids did.  Smart kid - but I'd never describe them as brilliant.)

I have been seeking information from Asperger's Experts.  They'll tell you they're not professional.  No SLP, OTs, etc. etc. etc.  BUT - they're ALL aspies.  They live it - whereas 'providers' go home at night. and get weekends off.  plus vacations . . .   They've gone through all the popular "professional" treatments. They know what they find works (reduce anxiety) - and what they consider coercive and likely to increase anxiety levels.  (re: ABA)  And they have helped a lot of aspies.

right now - I feel like all I'm doing is running interference between dudeling and the school district, trying to reduce his anxiety levels.

 

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1 hour ago, gardenmom5 said:

sigh.   Years ago I read some supplementary material Orson Scott Card included at the back of an edition of Ender's Game.  Basically - he got a lot of "impolitic" letters from "gifted teachers" (I use the term loosely), berating him for how he portrayed gifted students and claiming they weren't like that.

tbh: if the teacher is saying her students are all "wierdos" - she's in the wrong classroom, and probably the wrong profession.

Also, at the same time - he received a plethora of letters from *actual* gifted students thanking him - for understanding them.  I have a couple high IQ kids.  I know some of the crap they've dealt with from teachers. (it's interesting, I have one hardworking kid, very diligent and teachers loved them - but they never got the crap my tested out as "gifted" kids did.  Smart kid - but I'd never describe them as brilliant.)

I have been seeking information from Asperger's Experts.  They'll tell you they're not professional.  No SLP, OTs, etc. etc. etc.  BUT - they're ALL aspies.  They live it - whereas 'providers' go home at night. and get weekends off.  plus vacations . . .   They've gone through all the popular "professional" treatments. They know what they find works (reduce anxiety) - and what they consider coercive and likely to increase anxiety levels.  (re: ABA)  And they have helped a lot of aspies.

right now - I feel like all I'm doing is running interference between dudeling and the school district, trying to reduce his anxiety levels.

 

To be fair she didn't use the term weirdo. She just talked about all of the "not fitting in", socially awkward, "not usually athletic" generalizations. Also, it was 1980. 

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3 minutes ago, popmom said:

To be fair she didn't use the term weirdo. She just talked about all of the "not fitting in", socially awkward, "not usually athletic" generalizations. Also, it was 1980. 

A lot of us got that. (Us being "folks on the spectrum".) People will grasp at any explanation to explain away weirdness, and "well, gifted kids..." is a culturally acceptable one.

And... they're not wholly wrong. The genes associated with autism overlap heavily with those associated with high intelligence, iirc.

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10 hours ago, popmom said:

“giftedness”

I assume you've already seen Bright Not Broken? They have charts contrasting "symptoms". 

10 hours ago, popmom said:

my gifted class teacher told us that basically if we are weirdos—that’s why.

Teacher of gifted doesn't = gifted. Clearly your person felt insecure and outclassed.

10 hours ago, popmom said:

I’ve always known I was neuro-divergent.

That's an interesting level of self awareness. You might see if you identify with this https://www.socialthinking.com/Articles?name=social-thinking-social-communication-profile

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2 hours ago, PeterPan said:

I assume you've already seen Bright Not Broken? They have charts contrasting "symptoms". 

Teacher of gifted doesn't = gifted. Clearly your person felt insecure and outclassed.

That's an interesting level of self awareness. You might see if you identify with this https://www.socialthinking.com/Articles?name=social-thinking-social-communication-profile

This.

1ds (gifted) was accused of plagiarism by his language arts teacher in high school.  (teens don't talk/write like that.  She did later apologize.)  After chatting with her for just a couple minutes - I understood why she made the accusation. For an english teacher . . . . . . . . she had a "very young" vocabulary.  1dd came with me to parent night - shortly after she received her BA in Classics.  All she could do was stare in incredulity. 

seriously -there aren't very many engineering students who have higher verbal skills scores than math/quantitative reasoning.  (so much for the universities and their "we want your verbal skills to be within at least five points of your math/qualitative reasoning skills.)

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4 hours ago, PeterPan said:

I assume you've already seen Bright Not Broken? They have charts contrasting "symptoms". 

Teacher of gifted doesn't = gifted. Clearly your person felt insecure and outclassed.

That's an interesting level of self awareness. You might see if you identify with this https://www.socialthinking.com/Articles?name=social-thinking-social-communication-profile

I haven’t seen it. Interesting. I’ll look it up. When I say I’ve always known I am neuro divergent...I should clarify that I didn’t know the term for it. I have just always felt like I’m on a completely different wavelength than most people. I felt like a foreigner or something. It’s very hard to describe, but I recognized it in elementary school. When I went to college, I was determined to reinvent myself to be a “normal girl”, and do all the “normal girl” things—which required great effort and intention from me. Set the course for my “normal life” lol. 

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I’d love to discuss with anyone who is on the spectrum and also a Christian. I’m really struggling—have been for several years—with church—not even church so much as (((the community))) aspect. So not about my beliefs, doctrine, etc.

Maybe I’ll start a thread on that some time. Or if you have some blog or writer who is addressing this, shoot me a dm. I don’t want to hijack the thread w CC.

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1 hour ago, popmom said:

I haven’t seen it. Interesting. I’ll look it up. When I say I’ve always known I am neuro divergent...I should clarify that I didn’t know the term for it. I have just always felt like I’m on a completely different wavelength than most people. I felt like a foreigner or something. It’s very hard to describe, but I recognized it in elementary school. When I went to college, I was determined to reinvent myself to be a “normal girl”, and do all the “normal girl” things—which required great effort and intention from me. Set the course for my “normal life” lol. 

Did you find yourself in those profiles?

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41 minutes ago, popmom said:

I’d love to discuss with anyone who is on the spectrum and also a Christian. I’m really struggling—have been for several years—with church—not even church so much as (((the community))) aspect. So not about my beliefs, doctrine, etc.

Maybe I’ll start a thread on that some time. Or if you have some blog or writer who is addressing this, shoot me a dm. I don’t want to hijack the thread w CC.

I'm a Christian -but don't understand the question.  I'm also on a couple different online boards for my church. one for Autism, and one for parents of children with autism/disabilities.  Some in leadership "get it", and others . . . are still learning (and don't know they don't know.)

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4 hours ago, PeterPan said:

Did you find yourself in those profiles?

I did. I’m a WISC. But I also could relate to certain traits of ESC. That was a very interesting read. People who knew me in school would definitely describe me as “quiet”, but that’s also code for “weird”.

ETA processing speed/executive functioning is a problem for me--which makes small talk very difficult. It's why forums and social media are better ways for me to connect with people because I can take time to process what is said instead of being expected to respond immediately.  Also, there is not much useless small talk on here. 😉

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On 1/21/2021 at 1:01 PM, popmom said:

I’d love to discuss with anyone who is on the spectrum and also a Christian. I’m really struggling—have been for several years—with church—not even church so much as (((the community))) aspect. So not about my beliefs, doctrine, etc.

Maybe I’ll start a thread on that some time. Or if you have some blog or writer who is addressing this, shoot me a dm. I don’t want to hijack the thread w CC.

Hey, Pm me.  This is me exactly.  I am ADHD and probably not just that but I know I don't meet the social difficulties thing- ie. I never would be diagnosed with whatever the new terms are for autism/Aspergers.  I don't know- I think it is really hard to separate out high level of intelligence from social awkwardness.  I got over the social awkwardness pretty early, mainly because I decided I like who I like and not who I don't like..  I mean I can do social things okay-and have learned to keep my opinions to myself.  But I certainly know that I am so much less interested in so many things that lots of women are into. 

 

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On 1/21/2021 at 11:44 AM, gardenmom5 said:

I'm a Christian -but don't understand the question.  I'm also on a couple different online boards for my church. one for Autism, and one for parents of children with autism/disabilities.  Some in leadership "get it", and others . . . are still learning (and don't know they don't know.)

I just want to add - as well as being a mom of aspies, I am very highly likely an aspie (with ADD and CAPD too.)

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On 1/21/2021 at 5:13 PM, popmom said:

I did. I’m a WISC. But I also could relate to certain traits of ESC. That was a very interesting read. People who knew me in school would definitely describe me as “quiet”, but that’s also code for “weird”.

ETA processing speed/executive functioning is a problem for me--which makes small talk very difficult. It's why forums and social media are better ways for me to connect with people because I can take time to process what is said instead of being expected to respond immediately.  Also, there is not much useless small talk on here. 😉

This is me too. I am so much better at social media/forums because I can think.  I also am terrible at small talk.

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59 minutes ago, TravelingChris said:

Hey, Pm me.  This is me exactly.  I am ADHD and probably not just that but I know I don't meet the social difficulties thing- ie. I never would be diagnosed with whatever the new terms are for autism/Aspergers.  I don't know- I think it is really hard to separate out high level of intelligence from social awkwardness.  I got over the social awkwardness pretty early, mainly because I decided I like who I like and not who I don't like..  I mean I can do social things okay-and have learned to keep my opinions to myself.  But I certainly know that I am so much less interested in so many things that lots of women are into. 

 

It's possible to still meet the criteria.  DD is very high IQ, and no obvious learning disabilities.  If anything - she had professors who couldn't keep up with her.   She was diagnosed in her 30s. , but despite many drs previously trying to figure out what was the source of her issues, ASD never ever came up as a possibility for 1dd's challenges.  When she was finally diagnosed, it did make sense.  And then there are the issues that are common among those with a high IQ (or maybe they're all also aspies who are undiagnosed.)

Based on talking to dudeling's ped neuro - it's not unusual for things to get  worse when puberty hits (which is why I thought it was hormonal.).

Dudeling has CAPD, 1ds and I both likely have it too.  1ds, previously tested as gifted, and with a processing disorder through the school district. -has been referred for an autism eval to an actual developmental clinic by his dr after he went to her for help with ADD.  it's been nearly a year and he's finally getting in.

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1 hour ago, gardenmom5 said:

It's possible to still meet the criteria.  DD is very high IQ, and no obvious learning disabilities.  If anything - she had professors who couldn't keep up with her.   She was diagnosed in her 30s. , but despite many drs previously trying to figure out what was the source of her issues, ASD never ever came up as a possibility for 1dd's challenges.  When she was finally diagnosed, it did make sense.  And then there are the issues that are common among those with a high IQ (or maybe they're all also aspies who are undiagnosed.)

Based on talking to dudeling's ped neuro - it's not unusual for things to get  worse when puberty hits (which is why I thought it was hormonal.).

Dudeling has CAPD, 1ds and I both likely have it too.  1ds, previously tested as gifted, and with a processing disorder through the school district. -has been referred for an autism eval to an actual developmental clinic by his dr after he went to her for help with ADD.  it's been nearly a year and he's finally getting in.

What is CAPD , please?

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28 minutes ago, TravelingChris said:

What is CAPD , please?

Central Auditory Processing Disorder.  There are three types.  My son's type is where the corpus callosum doesn't properly facilitate communication between the left and right hemispheres of the brain.  (re: his GUI and his HD don't like to talk to each other.)  there's a great deal of overlap in 'symptoms' between ASD, ADD, and CAPD.

it starts in utero.  Boy babies need THREE TIMES!!!!! the amount of essential fatty acids as girls to develop the corpus callosum. . . . Words can't adequately express how angry I was at learning that.  All the FDA nutrition 'requirements' have reduced the amount of essential fatty acids we get in our diets.

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3 hours ago, TravelingChris said:

Hey, Pm me.  This is me exactly.  I am ADHD and probably not just that but I know I don't meet the social difficulties thing- ie. I never would be diagnosed with whatever the new terms are for autism/Aspergers.  I don't know- I think it is really hard to separate out high level of intelligence from social awkwardness.  I got over the social awkwardness pretty early, mainly because I decided I like who I like and not who I don't like..  I mean I can do social things okay-and have learned to keep my opinions to myself.  But I certainly know that I am so much less interested in so many things that lots of women are into.

Of course I don't know you in person, so take all this with a grain of salt - but autistics tend to have less social difficulties with other autistics than with non-autistics. And since it runs in families, it's not at all unusual for your entire extended family to be autistic or part of the broader autistic spectrum... and if you're careful, it's entirely possible to self-select your social group so you mostly only interact with other people in the same boat. My mother does that. I do too, but I know it!

I'm not saying you are or aren't anything. I have no reason to say anything like that.

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58 minutes ago, Tanaqui said:

Of course I don't know you in person, so take all this with a grain of salt - but autistics tend to have less social difficulties with other autistics than with non-autistics. And since it runs in families, it's not at all unusual for your entire extended family to be autistic or part of the broader autistic spectrum... and if you're careful, it's entirely possible to self-select your social group so you mostly only interact with other people in the same boat. My mother does that. I do too, but I know it!

I'm not saying you are or aren't anything. I have no reason to say anything like that.

I read an article by a NT guy who was in a group of aspies.  He said how they could communicate with each other just fine, and he felt like the outsider as he didn't understand their communication style.

his point wasn't just that it goes both ways, but that society treats aspies as though they can't communicate at all, when it's more a matter of style than ability.

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54 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said:

I read an article by a NT guy who was in a group of aspies.  He said how they could communicate with each other just fine, and he felt like the outsider as he didn't understand their communication style.

his point wasn't just that it goes both ways, but that society treats aspies as though they can't communicate at all, when it's more a matter of style than ability.

 

It's a common enough experience. I know people who have gone to first-ever meetups run by "helpful" NTs only to find that they were just fine while the co-ordinator was learning an important lesson about how useful they really were.

And there's some studies on the subject as well, I believe.

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2 hours ago, Tanaqui said:

It's a common enough experience. I know people who have gone to first-ever meetups run by "helpful" NTs only to find that they were just fine while the co-ordinator was learning an important lesson about how useful they really were.

And there's some studies on the subject as well, I believe.

I was supposed to take my son to one of those sorts of meetups. We didn't stay long enough for me to find out his opinion because looking through the window on the door was enough to convince me that whoever was funding them had no clue whatsoever. What preschooler ever benefited from being stuffed into an over crowded room full of screaming children and adults trying to yell gently over the din?

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4 hours ago, Tanaqui said:

Of course I don't know you in person, so take all this with a grain of salt - but autistics tend to have less social difficulties with other autistics than with non-autistics. And since it runs in families, it's not at all unusual for your entire extended family to be autistic or part of the broader autistic spectrum... and if you're careful, it's entirely possible to self-select your social group so you mostly only interact with other people in the same boat. My mother does that. I do too, but I know it!

I'm not saying you are or aren't anything. I have no reason to say anything like that.

Well you all are great people. 

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On 1/19/2021 at 2:08 PM, gardenmom5 said:

 

1dd swears by somatic therapy - which helps to stimulate the vagus nerve.  we've seen huge, leaps and bounds, changes in her since she started.  I found yoga very helpful.   dr. Stephan Porges posited his theory of the connection between autism and the vagus nerve in Poly-vagal theory.  Though i've been warned it reads like a 600 page dissertation.

 

So I was just looking into what the vagus nerve is and how it relates to autism. Didn't get very far into my research when I saw that humming can stimulate the vagus nerve. Could this be why I hum compulsively? I mean this is kind of embarrassing but I don't even know I'm doing it half the time--mostly while I'm driving. I've asked my kids to point it out because I'm kind of self conscious about it. I'm trying to stop, but maybe I shouldn't??

Edited by popmom
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12 minutes ago, popmom said:

So I was just looking into what the vagus nerve is and how it relates to autism. Didn't get very far into my research when I saw that humming can stimulate the vagus nerve. Could this be why I hum compulsively? I mean this is kind of embarrassing but I don't even know I'm doing it half the time--mostly while I'm driving. I've asked my kids to point it out because I'm kind of self conscious about it. I'm trying to stop, but maybe I shouldn't??

The hum is a stim (repetitive behavior ) but stims have functions (escape, gain access, feel better, etc). So if it makes you feel better and you do it more, that’s fine. And yes the reason it would feel good is because it stimulates the vagus nerve.

We have a hummer in our house. Off key. Sigh.

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12 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

 

We have a hummer in our house. Off key. Sigh.

well, I'm mostly on key, but my kids make fun of my "slow creepy Pink Panther theme". lol If I don't have a song stuck in my head, my default is the Pink Panther theme. So weird. 😂

Edited by popmom
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As stims go, humming is pretty harmless unless it's actively disturbing other people nearby. And it's not very "weird" either - lots of people hum or whistle who aren't on the spectrum at all!

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