sbgrace Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 (edited) There is a lot of "stuff" going on in my immediate family (kids particularly) right now. It's very stressful. I feel tense. I'm exercising every day, trying to do breathing based mindfulness (I'm open to suggestions/don't have a favorite way to do this), prayer. Any calm I get doesn't last long at all. Is there anything I can do? Edited January 19, 2021 by sbgrace 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 I don't know what type of exercising you're doing - yoga will stimulate the parasympthetic nervous system and that is more calming. (most exercise stimulates the sympathetic nervous system, which is arousing.) yoga with adrienne is a good youtube channel. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
popmom Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 (edited) Meds. Zoloft changed my life. YMMV ETA...I have “high need” adult children who used to be high need younger children. Mental illness. I can relate and hope you find some relief soon. I wasted too many years due to fear of medications. Edited January 19, 2021 by popmom 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa Louise Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 Another vote for yoga. Having your own person outside the family to support you. Daily Vit D seems to help me - placebo? Good for morning gloom. Sorry, I know how stressful it is to have major stuff going on with kids/teens/young adults. Hope you find some lasting calm. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 When I was at that point, I had an appointment and yelled at my doctor and he happily gave me a nice little med that can be used as needed. Later I found out about stress leaching the B6 and zinc in some people. If you have an indication of low zinc (white spots on nails) or low b6 (ridges on nails), you could try a bit of either, see how they do for you. I could see in my genes the indication, but I suppose it could be common. And the b6 form I'm taking is P5P, something that is ready to go in the body, no strain, no drain. Once I got on it, it's like super zen. I take 3 capsules a day (breakfast/lunch/dinner) and tried to go down to two and the anxiety returned. I think don't feel bad that it's happening. It's chemistry. Maybe you can find something to replace what is being drained, or use a med, both work. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klmama Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 I've found having a good cry helps with stress. It's often easiest if I read or watch something that makes me empathize with someone else. The other people's problems get me started crying, and then I can cry over my own family's problems, too. I'm always amazed at how much better I feel afterward. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 1 hour ago, PeterPan said: When I was at that point, I had an appointment and yelled at my doctor and he happily gave me a nice little med that can be used as needed. Later I found out about stress leaching the B6 and zinc in some people. If you have an indication of low zinc (white spots on nails) or low b6 (ridges on nails), you could try a bit of either, see how they do for you. I could see in my genes the indication, but I suppose it could be common. And the b6 form I'm taking is P5P, something that is ready to go in the body, no strain, no drain. Once I got on it, it's like super zen. I take 3 capsules a day (breakfast/lunch/dinner) and tried to go down to two and the anxiety returned. I think don't feel bad that it's happening. It's chemistry. Maybe you can find something to replace what is being drained, or use a med, both work. yes - good point. stress uses b-vitamins. a *really* good complex made a huge difference for me - and I could tell within a week if I hadn't been taking it. (and that was with an 'average' drugstore complex. I now take a better quality complex, and I noticed an improvement in less than a week after switching brands.) stress has a similar affect upon brain and body as depression, even though the "cause" is different. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathnerd Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 Yoga, exercise, a good multivitamin, Vitamin D3, Omega 3, a healthy diet with a lot of fresh vegetables and Netflix! I am a zero TV person and this year, due to some immense family pressures and stresses that screwed up my sleep, I have been in a permanent state of sleep deprival and unable to function well. So, I have started watching Netflix a little a day to get my mind off my problems at least for that time period. That helps me the most. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilltopmom Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 4 hours ago, gardenmom5 said: yes - good point. stress uses b-vitamins. a *really* good complex made a huge difference for me - and I could tell within a week if I hadn't been taking it. (and that was with an 'average' drugstore complex. I now take a better quality complex, and I noticed an improvement in less than a week after switching brands.) stress has a similar affect upon brain and body as depression, even though the "cause" is different. Link to what you’re taking? Thank you! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilltopmom Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 (edited) I’m currently taking a class about stress and burnout that talks about “completing the stress cycle”. A good cry helps. Or meds. I had to start some meds this fall & feel much better now. video about completing the stress cycle Edited January 19, 2021 by Hilltopmom 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 Have you tried a bath with epsom salts? You can absorb more magnesium through your skin than you can take orally, and most people find it very calming. Using lavender essential oil either in a diffuser or a homemade cleaning solution is calming for many people. Also look into apps for slow deep breathing. Slow deep breaths lower stress hormones. Try to walk outside every day, preferably in the morning on a trail near water and trees (though that’s impossible here right now because of weather- no sidewalks, slippery roads, frigid windchills). Try to watch something funny every day. Laughing lowers stress hormones and makes you less sensitive to pain. Try to do something creative every day, or at least twice a week. Get dressed in something that’s not pajamas or workout gear every day. Leggings under a dress are fine. Stretchy pants as comfortable as yoga pants that looks like office pants are fine. My occupational therapist recommended jersey dresses year round (but they are not very warm in winter). 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 Magnesium Glycinate has been helpful and also progesterone. Hugs! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillcottagemom Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 If you're looking for more structure with your breathing based meditation, the free app Insight Timer has lots of guided meditations for relaxation and mindfulness. Best wishes to you and your family. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 (((sbgrace))) You are not alone. Right there too. Do you have an irl friend or two you can talk to? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 1 hour ago, Hilltopmom said: Link to what you’re taking? Thank you! I take Emerald Laboratories B-Healthy. I also take adrenal support (a cocktail based on Integrative Theraputics cortisol manager) - as the stress really undermined mine, and now I'm trying to heal them. There are some good ones on the market, but I'm allergic to a component of Holy Basil Leaf (eugenol - it's in all the OTC temp. dental cements), so half the adrenal supplements on the market (incl. some really good ones) are off-limits to me. 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 7 hours ago, gardenmom5 said: yes - good point. stress uses b-vitamins. gene NBPF3 and the RS4654748 I'm homozygous for this defect, and when stressed there are levels of HPL that go up, which then leach out specifically b6 and zinc. http://www.mensahmedical.com/pyroluria-pyrrole-disorder/ It's considered an uncommon but possible cause, but hey it turned out to be mine. For some reason I thought she had genetics lying around, so it would be easy to check. The levels you take then are a bit higher than what you'd use generally, and you change the form to be ready to go. Methylated forms make me grouchy and regular drop my methyls, so I don't win. The P5P form is "just right" hehe... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acadie Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 I'm exploring ways to activate my vagus nerve to shift my neurological state. Here's a basic intro to polyvagal theory, and how we can move up the ladder between states: http://counsellinginhamilton.com/polyvagal-ladder/ And here's a list of ways to activate the vagus nerve, some of which you've mentioned as things that are helpful to you. Maybe there are some quick, low maintenance options here. I have a book by Dr. Habib on hold at my library, but this handout has been helpful to me in the meantime: http://drhabib.ca/2016/07/activate-vagus-nerve/ I also think anything that makes you feel safe and connected with others, releasing oxytocin, is a good thing. During the pandemic I discovered that sitting in the recliner reading with our mini-poodle on my lap is about the most relaxing thing I can imagine--I literally can feel oxytocin coursing through my body. I also sometimes do loving-kindness meditations for my dog, which may sound silly but involves none of the emotional complication of the people in my life 🙂 Finding a funny show or cake fails, calling a relative or friend, singing, dancing, scheduling a masked walk or hike with a friend--all those things may bring you lots of safe and secure feelings. Last but not least, and I'm sure you know this--prioritize your restorative time above everything else. Whatever you need to deal with in your life will be easier to handle if you are feeling better. I literally sometimes make two lists for the day, one for things I need to do and the other appealing ways to restore and regroup, and then bounce back and forth between them. What appeals to me in the restorative category varies day to day. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 3 hours ago, Hilltopmom said: I’m currently taking a class about stress and burnout that talks about “completing the stress cycle”. A good cry helps. Or meds. I had to start some meds this fall & feel much better now. video about completing the stress cycle Love the Nagoskis! Their book is excellent. And listening to them speak is always helpful. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbgrace Posted January 19, 2021 Author Share Posted January 19, 2021 Thank you--each of you--for your replies. I am already trying some of the suggestions and will try more. I'm hopeful I can find a way to manage better. -- ((ScoutTN)) I'm so sorry you're in a similar place. I do have a friend who knows it all, listens, and supports. It does help. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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