Barbershop vs. salon for guys, what's the difference?

[PeterPan]

Preface, my ds has ASD2, so just getting him in ANY place took a lot of consistent work and support. I used to cut his hair myself and then moved him to a salon. And honestly, I took him to the top person because it's usually a mature woman (age 50+) who can talk hygiene, make conversation, and do a nice haircut at the same time. The result has always been very good. 

Then my dh suggested switching him over to a barber.

They didn't wash his hair.

They sent him home looking greasy. (with pomade on top of dirty hair??)

They flattened his hair with a real traditional boy's haircut instead of doing the point cutting and careful blending the salon stylist was doing to leave his somewhat wavy hair fluffy and handsome.

They seemed to emphasize expediency over quality.

Ugh.

So what am I missing? Is there going to be another barber who WILL spend time and make my ds' hair look nice, or is that a unicorn and I need to continue taking him to salons?

Bummer is, he's always been $20 because he was kid rate. Come his next birthday he shoots up to $45, ouch! So if I can find a $20 barber who can work with him better, that would be ideal. Even if I had the hygiene under control (which frankly is a crapshoot and always deserves reinforcement and tips/discussion), I'm just not sure they're there trying to give actual HAIRCUTS. It's like they're more like sheep shearers, in and out, get it off. 

What do I do? If the haircut had been NICE I wouldn't have been quibbling. But it was traditional boy, zipping it off, and it just wasn't nice with his fluffy hair. Do men with wavy/fluffy hair have to go to salons instead of barbers? Or am I looking for a different barber?

Edited January 13, 2021 by PeterPan

[klmama]

From dh's experiences over the years, the barber shop cuts hair.  Period.  No wash; they just spritz with a water bottle.  They may or may not blow dry.  He finally switched to a salon and was much happier.  

[wintermom]

I send my sons to a salon (or similar - I have a friend who used to work in a salon and now works out of her home) for all the reasons you stated. The information she tells them about cleaning hair, scalp, etc. is great because she will actually tell them what to do and recommend a product and it's not coming from mom. 😉 

My sons have also gone to a barber for a quick trim, too, and dh will do a buzz cut for them if they ask for it. Sometimes guys just want to quick clip, and that's ok, too.

[mmasc]

Ok, I know about this! I have three sons, and move every two years (at least!) so we have gone through TONS of finding new hairstylists. I actually *just* moved them last week from getting their normal cuts at Sports Clips to my hair stylist. IF you can find a REAL barber, one who has been in business for years and really knows his/her stuff, then you’ve hit the jackpot. We’ve found this twice (in two different states) and they were awesome. Nine times out of ten, you’re going to find the zip-zip-done type of cuts in barber shops though. I can’t even tell you how many places we’ve been to in how many states over the last decade to have gained this knowledge. If your boy has any kind of style, wave, curls, cow licks, etc—you need a stylist. Mine have cow licks and have gotten tons of horrible cuts bc of it. One of mine had a barber cut the heck out of his neck bc she didn’t know what she was doing. While I’m ranting, I’ll also say I hate those places like Great Clips and Sport Clips because it’s hard to get the same person twice if you actually score a good cut, and the no appointment thing drives.me.nuts. I do not have time for walk-in waiting. 
 

now, with all of that said, I’ve never paid $45 for a stylist at a salon to cut my boys’ hair. At a stylist/salon where I’ve gone, the mens cut and the boys cut are the same price. (I’ve only seen that price difference at sports clips types of places) I’ve also never had them wash my boys’ hair. For example, I took them to the stylist who cuts and colors my hair just last week and she charged $20 each (my kids are teens and tweens). She gave them a great cut with scissors and clippers, texturized my oldest’s hair, and showed them each how to style and work with their hair (especially my 15yo). Honestly, if I was getting a great haircut for my kid and I just had one, I’d probably pay the $45 and stick with that place. I wouldn’t be able to do that x3 though, since they get cuts at least every 8 weeks. 

Good luck!😊

[PeterPan]

19 minutes ago, klmama said:

He finally switched to a salon and was much happier.  

Thanks! I've seen so few men at the salon that I didn't know it was common or normal.

31 minutes ago, Dreamergal said:

What COVID has taught me is the value of someone who knows you, your preference and gives you a great experience be it at a salon or a butcher or a ethic grocery store. You do have to pay for it a bit more but I think it is absolutely worth it.

Yup. And I've taken ds' clothing/hair/hygiene pretty seriously because I felt like it was something where I could win. I really can't make ASD go away, can't make his challenges go away. So I wanted routines that would smooth things out, eliminate bias. If you show up and your clothes are baggy, hair bedraggled, etc., people just don't receive you the same. So I keep him clean, neat, tidy, and then he still has behaviors, haha. But at least he was clean/neat/tidy! And I want that habit of going to a place so when he's 18/20 and choosing or pushing back, he is used to the routine. That's why I was so upset that this barber where dh goes was such a miss. I don't want him getting into that habit (of choosing speed over results) and then refusing to go somewhere else. That's always the concern, lol.

27 minutes ago, klmama said:

From dh's experiences over the years, the barber shop cuts hair.  Period.  No wash; they just spritz with a water bottle.  They may or may not blow dry. 

Yup, I think that's what happened. And it's FINE for dh's hair. He has this super flat, super thin hair and the barber makes it look tidy. I think he even goes in every 6 weeks or something. But ds got my fluffy hair, and it was just awful. And I couldn't tell from reviews of the local options (of which there are many!) that anything would change. Dh isn't willing to take him lots of places either. So if it's just the genre, then we need to head back to the salon and be done with it.

So the added twist is that I'm still trying to even out the haircut I HATED from the lady I use at that salon. My hair just looks embarrasing and it's STILL so short two months later that I can hardly pull it back in a pigtail. I had a whole thread on it, hair trauma, lots of rants. So I don't know how I go in there with my whackjob hair and get his hair done. But he really needs it done, so I'm gonna have to suck up and figure it out. Oh and my hair is growing. It grows pretty fast (close to an inch a month). She just took it too short and angled it and did stuff I didn't like. I talked with another stylist but to get it fixed was going to go even shorter, rant rant. So I'm just biting my teeth waiting. It may be about there, but if I could hold out even another month for myself it would make it easier to fix.

15 minutes ago, mmasc said:

If your boy has any kind of style, wave, curls, cow licks, etc—you need a stylist.

Yup, that's it. I wanted it styled, actually carefully cut with attention to the shape of the head and taking advantage of the natural fluffiness, and the barbers just shear it off.

17 minutes ago, mmasc said:

I’d probably pay the $45 and stick with that place.

I chose JCP for autism reasons (consistency of place vs. person, ease of availability, consistency if he's in another location). This is a kid who will refuse to shower at a hotel saying it's not his shower, sigh. And I picked the top person. You're right the haircuts can be lower. They have a $22 express (men's minus washing maybe?) and a $32 base price. Going up to $45 gets you their most experienced people and that's what it takes to handle ds. It's sorta like washing a feral cat. Takes a little extra caution/care/skill, lol.

Ok, I'm looking at this, and they also do a "clipper cut" that is $18 and up. But that's not really him either because he's better being scissored. But it might be they'd find some kind of inbetween price that wasn't the $45. Hadn't thought of that. That would help. He doesn't take as much time, so you're right that might be what they do once he turns 13. Hadn't thought of that. That would make me feel better. The $45 would be a lot, but even $30 would seem totally reasonable for the amount of effort needed for his hair. For the $45, you're right that's a wash, cut, and some kind of style (curling, etc.). They would probably have a lower tier for him, that makes sense.

Ok, so I will call the salon and try to figure this out. I may need to hide my hair in a turbee, hahaha. I'm a big girl and will figure it out. 

[PeterPan]

Just for fun, here was his hair this morning, fluffy. 🤣

 

[mmasc]

Oh yes, I can see why a stylist is preferable! His hair is so pretty! I would not want that to be buzzed at all!

[Arcadia]

41 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

Just for fun, here was his hair this morning, fluffy. 🤣

 

For us,
Barber = crew cut 

Salon = cut, style, perm, highlight/dye

 

DS15’s hair is similar.  Hairstylists who are used to wavy curly mop can cut his hair well with scissors. 

Edited January 13, 2021 by Arcadia

[PeterPan]

Ok, got him scheduled with a stylist! Turns out in the time since my last haircut, that person retired! So now I can take him in and not even worry about it. And I think like y'all are saying, we'll just keep paying for the haircuts. Thanks!!

[Spy Car]

Barbers tend to use electric clippers as their main cutting tool, where stylists tend to use scissors.

If you want to have a haircut that carefully blends the boy's curls, the odds are against you at a barbershop.

Bill

 

 

[theelfqueen]

The actual difference between a barber and a stylist is that a barber can do a shave.

My sons all think a barber shave is a super luxury. 

Do you have a Floyd's near you? Barbers but in a more salon setting. 

[PeterPan]

12 hours ago, Spy Car said:

Barbers tend to use electric clippers as their main cutting tool, where stylists tend to use scissors.

If you want to have a haircut that carefully blends the boy's curls, the odds are against you at a barbershop.

Bill

 

 

Thank you for explaining that! It had just been totally lost on me and seems obvious when you say it that way, lol. So my sheep shearer was not so far off. 

12 hours ago, theelfqueen said:

My sons all think a barber shave is a super luxury. 

Oh dear, do I really have to think about him shaving? I'm not sure he has hair anywhere yet. I don't think there's any on his face yet and I don't see (and haven't heard about) other places. But it's an interesting point!

12 hours ago, theelfqueen said:

Do you have a Floyd's near you?

You're broadening my horizons here. We don't have that in our state, but it occurs to me I could look for it in the big city. That's just a long way to go for a haircut. Not that it would be Floyd's, but I'm guessing there's something *like* that in the big city. Really though, I want this to be something he's useful and can continue independently as he gets older. (the autism thing, setting him up for habits and success) But that's interesting, thanks for sharing!

[easypeasy]

lol, I went through this same scenario a couple years ago. We'd always made his appointments when his sisters had theirs at the same salon they went to. It was easy & they did a great job & would barely charge anything because they would just tack him on to the end of one of the girls haircuts. Then he started needing/wanting haircuts more frequently and it added up!

So, I switched him to a barber and they butchered his beautiful hair. Tried another barber and again - it was a no-go. He has suuuuuuper thick hair that goes in every which direction and they didn't seem to know what to do with it. (he sort of wakes up with that messy-hair-on-purpose look, lol)

Switched back to the salon and his stylist is amazing. However, because he's so amazing, his prices keep increasing. Last haircuts were $65 plus tip!! For a BOY who gets his hair cut every 6 weeks! 😳 I'm not switching yet because this salon is super careful about Covid protocols, but when this is over, we might make the switch (of course, the kid will be in college by then, so I guess he'll have to find his own place!)

[PeterPan]

7 minutes ago, easypeasy said:

Last haircuts were $65 plus tip!! For a BOY who gets his hair cut every 6 weeks!

That's some serious dough! But yeah, it helps to know I'm not crazy.

I did get him scheduled at the salon with a new person who is the right level. We'll see how that goes. 

[Farrar]

There are definitely good barbers who are good at scissor cuts, blending, etc. And there are definitely barbers who will give a nice chat about hair care and "boy stuff." So what you want might be out there. But not the wash. And you have to shop around a bit. We tried like half a dozen barbers before finding a couple that are pretty good. 

The barber that does white hair in our neighborhood is like $35 though, so it's not like it's that cheap.

I've been cutting everyone's hair since the pandemic. Mushroom cuts my hair (dh and BalletBoy can't cut a single sheet of paper in a straight line, so they are not to be trusted). Dh has short frizzy hair that he keeps somewhat clipped. He'll never go back to the barber unless I'm gone at this point. Now that I've figured it out, I'm feeling fine about it. It looks almost exactly the same as the barber or salon. The kids though... Oy. I can't wait to get rid of this task. BalletBoy cries through me cutting his hair EVERY TIME. 

[PeterPan]

4 minutes ago, Farrar said:

The barber that does white hair in our neighborhood is like $35 though, so it's not like it's that cheap.

Well there's a good point. I was doing some more searching and there definitely are more upscale barbers in the big city. But I think because they'd be spending more time, the $$ would be higher. So as long as we're relatively happy with the local salon, we can probably just stay there. 

[PeterPan]

20 minutes ago, easypeasy said:

Last haircuts were $65 plus tip!!

PS. You're killing me with this, lol. Now nothing I pay will seem bad, lol.

[Bootsie]

It may vary by state, but in Texas there are some differences in a cosmetology license (that most stylists at salons have) and a barber's license.  Some states do not allow those without a barber's license to use a straight razor.  DS has gone to a number of barbers and had a range of services (including washing at times) and a range of hairstyles.  

[PeterPan]

4 minutes ago, Bootsie said:

It may vary by state

Ok, then I will google our state. Hadn't thought of that.

[easypeasy]

1 minute ago, PeterPan said:

PS. You're killing me with this, lol. Now nothing I pay will seem bad, lol.

*snort* The best part is that DS goes by himself and pays, using our credit card. I didn't even realize it cost that much until he'd had two haircuts! I was like, "Kid? Why didn't you tell me it was SEVENTY-EIGHT DOLLARS?"

He just blinked and said, "Um, is that a lot for a haircut?" *shrug* It takes the stylist maybe 20 minutes!

🥴

Back when I went to salons frequently, you just picked a girl and were stuck with her so long as you went to that salon. Now, there's "Level 5, 4, 3, etc" and each one costs $20+ more than the previous level! DSs stylist started as a 3, but keeps getting new certifications (STOP IT!), so he's now a "Level Platinum" or somesuch. Bah! 😵

But, man, DSs hair sure looks nice. 😂

[Spy Car]

One day, about 5 years ago on an unbearably hot day here in Los Angeles I was going crazy from the heat and the misery was exacerbated by a very overgrown thatch of thick wavy hair that desperately needed cutting. Had to go!

Only I could not get into the stylist who cuts all our hair--as she'd had a good turn in her career and was supremely busy at a very fancy salon in Santa Monica. So in a moment where I decided I did not give a &#$% how it might look I grabbed some hair cutting scissors and started cutting.

Only instead of being a complete disaster--which really is what I expected--it turned out really well. Very surprising. Since then, I've always cut my own hair. Comes out just the way I like it. Handy skill to have during Covid. But I only cut mine.

Bill

 

 

 

 

[PeterPan]

5 minutes ago, Spy Car said:

Only instead of being a complete disaster--which really is what I expected--it turned out really well.

Yeah, I did both dh and ds for years. I can, but in the salon they're faster and better. It's always an option. Of course, if I were to start doing it again and conch off, he might look like Rip Van Winkle before he let someone do it... That was actually a big reason I broadened out, to make sure he would let someone cut his hair. You ain't had fun till you've tried to convince someone with ASD to do something they're not inclined to do...

[Spy Car]

2 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

Yeah, I did both dh and ds for years. I can, but in the salon they're faster and better. It's always an option. Of course, if I were to start doing it again and conch off, he might look like Rip Van Winkle before he let someone do it... That was actually a big reason I broadened out, to make sure he would let someone cut his hair. You ain't had fun till you've tried to convince someone with ASD to do something they're not inclined to do...

I hear you. Mrs Spy Car is a behavior therapist who works with ASD kids in and out of schools, so I have a slight insight into what it can take for things to go smoothly. 

For myself, I figured I could use the fingers of my left hand to mark the length I wanted my hair to be, as I snipped with the other hand. Turns out as well as any salon cut.

But I don't dare touch my wife's hair or my son's. Too tricky. Mine is easy.

Bill

[Ausmumof3]

My boys prefer the barber precisely because it is quick and basic and no lecturing involved.  Trying to get them near a hairdresser is a mission so it seems like a fair compromise to me.

[Melissa in Australia]

4 hours ago, Spy Car said:

One day, about 5 years ago on an unbearably hot day here in Los Angeles I was going crazy from the heat and the misery was exacerbated by a very overgrown thatch of thick wavy hair that desperately needed cutting. Had to go!

Only I could not get into the stylist who cuts all our hair--as she'd had a good turn in her career and was supremely busy at a very fancy salon in Santa Monica. So in a moment where I decided I did not give a &#$% how it might look I grabbed some hair cutting scissors and started cutting.

Only instead of being a complete disaster--which really is what I expected--it turned out really well. Very surprising. Since then, I've always cut my own hair. Comes out just the way I like it. Handy skill to have during Covid. But I only cut mine.

Bill

 

 

 

 

2 of my older sons cut their own hair. One just buzzes it all short. The other cuts the front, sides and top. He figures he cannot reach the back and cannot see the back so leaves it long. (It looks terrible - like some rock star from the 80s) 

[Plateau Mama]

You can find higher end barbershops (like Floyds) but you will pay a higher end price as well so you may as well stick with the salon that is working for you.  

Edited January 14, 2021 by Plateau Mama

[plansrme]

Since taking in a Central American exchange student, I have learned a couple of new things about teen boy hair, and one is that there are Dominican and Black-hair specializing barbershops all over the place. My boy and one of his friends (who is isolating in my house as we speak because of a positive covid test) have very curly hair (one is coarse and curly, the other is finer and curly) that they keep long on top and very short on the sides. They actually go to a shop here that has all Black barbers, but my super-white son with his straight hair now goes there also because the guys do such a good job. A cut is $30. The two exchange students take their hair very seriously, and they do have lovely hair (well, until MY boy came back after Christmas with blond highlights and a mohawk, but it will be lovely again when it is back to normal).

ETA: The "isolating at my house as we speak" reference is only to explain why I have felt his hair; I keep feeling his forehead for a fever, and his beautiful curly locks have to be shoved out of the way. He is not isolating at his own host family's because they have a grandmother in residence.

Edited January 14, 2021 by plansrme