The paradox of Choice

[Ottakee]

I am listening to an audio book and the author just said

There is a paradox if choice.   Too many choices and we end up unhappy with our choice as we always worry if we made the best choice.  Give us just 2-3 choices and we can be confident we made the right choice.

Wow that rings true.

[Scarlett]

Yep. Totally agree. 

[Porridge]

Yes. It’s Fear Of Better Options - FOBO.  The close cousin to FOMO.

[HS Mom in NC]

I'm the INTJ personality who deeply needs to know all or most of my options first and in as much detail as possible. One thing that helps me be content with my final choice is to articulate very clearly why I chose the option I did and why I didn't choose the others.  It's sort of like playing Would You Rather with myself. It gives me closure on the issue so I don't keep second guessing myself. I'm by nature decisive and not prone to anxiety, so I can move on fairly quickly and easily with most things. 

Now there are times when the options can't possibly be fully explored because there are far too many for anyone to consider each, so those are situations I'm very careful to avoid "the best option" as a categorical label and use "the best of the options I had time to consider" label. In many situations I use the "well, there are really no bad choices" reminder to avoid falsely creating a high stakes choice when it just isn't. 

But I do get it.  Some people do better with fewer choices and people should do what works for them.

[TechWife]

This totally makes sense. For me at least it leads to times that when when the best is unattainable, the good is uncomfortable and/or unsatisfactory. The best becomes the enemy of the good in some respects. I’m probably not explaining that well. 

[Ausmumof3]

It’s extremely bad for infp /intp personality types - can throw us into a decision making loop forever.

There is a good TED talk on making decisions I’ll have to see if I can share it.

[Carrie12345]

7 hours ago, Homeschool Mom in AZ said:

I'm the INTJ personality who deeply needs to know all or most of my options first and in as much detail as possible. One thing that helps me be content with my final choice is to articulate very clearly why I chose the option I did and why I didn't choose the others.  It's sort of like playing Would You Rather with myself. It gives me closure on the issue so I don't keep second guessing myself. I'm by nature decisive and not prone to anxiety, so I can move on fairly quickly and easily with most things. 

Now there are times when the options can't possibly be fully explored because there are far too many for anyone to consider each, so those are situations I'm very careful to avoid "the best option" as a categorical label and use "the best of the options I had time to consider" label. In many situations I use the "well, there are really no bad choices" reminder to avoid falsely creating a high stakes choice when it just isn't. 

But I do get it.  Some people do better with fewer choices and people should do what works for them.

This is generally me, though I tend to ride the T/F line. I’m currently in a position where the financial stakes are quite high and I know there will never be a clear cut, guaranteed decision, so I’m having a rough time, not unlike a program that’s glitching.  My F component is like, “Put me in, Coach!” And my T component is like, “Well, yeah, but I need to make sure you really know what you’re dealing with before I can put you on the field and I just don’t think we’re there yet.”

Sigh.

[BusyMom5]

9 hours ago, Homeschool Mom in AZ said:

I'm the INTJ personality who deeply needs to know all or most of my options first and in as much detail as possible. One thing that helps me be content with my final choice is to articulate very clearly why I chose the option I did and why I didn't choose the others.  It's sort of like playing Would You Rather with myself. It gives me closure on the issue so I don't keep second guessing myself. I'm by nature decisive and not prone to anxiety, so I can move on fairly quickly and easily with most things. 

Now there are times when the options can't possibly be fully explored because there are far too many for anyone to consider each, so those are situations I'm very careful to avoid "the best option" as a categorical label and use "the best of the options I had time to consider" label. In many situations I use the "well, there are really no bad choices" reminder to avoid falsely creating a high stakes choice when it just isn't. 

But I do get it.  Some people do better with fewer choices and people should do what works for them.

My DH is an INTJ and this is exactly how he operates- except he has to line them all out to me, and I have to argue the pros and cons until he's satisfied.   

[cintinative]

My friends who have been overseas and have come back home have experienced this. Just going to the grocery is overwhelming here when you have been shopping in a little corner store for years and years.

[Ottakee]

2 minutes ago, cintinative said:

My friends who have been overseas and have come back home have experienced this. Just going to the grocery is overwhelming here when you have been shopping in a little corner store for years and years.

This may be while I love Aldi shopping.   I need ketchup....they have one, maybe two choices.   Same with almost everything there.  Just 1-2 choices of the item.   The local fancier grocery store has 15 different brands, types, and sizes to pick from    that just takes too long 

[Wheres Toto]

I've never really thought about it but I do have trouble making decisions when at the store.   Lucky for me dh does most of the shopping (since he does all the cooking) and when I go, he tells me exactly what to buy so I don't have to think about it unless there's a problem.   We do have certain brands that we always buy the same in some staples, which makes it easier. 

When I go to stores for things other than groceries, unless I have a specific list of things I need, I tend to have trouble deciding.  Not always between what two items to buy but whether or not to buy something at all.  

[ScoutTN]

@Ottakee Yes, shopping at Aldi and Trader Joe’s reduces decision-making fatigue! 

Edited January 1, 2021 by ScoutTN

[HS Mom in NC]

3 hours ago, BusyMom5 said:

My DH is an INTJ and this is exactly how he operates- except he has to line them all out to me, and I have to argue the pros and cons until he's satisfied.   

It's not easy being married to an INTJ.