ktgrok Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 And it is so frustrating to see. At this point I mainly go on facebook to connect to the DDPY group on their, but still catch glimpses of other stuff. People flying all over the country and then going out to eat, getting together with groups of friends to eat out, etc. I'm not talking people who quarantined carefully for 2 weeks to see their elderly parents. I'm talking people who are constantly out and about now flying around the country posting photos of multiple households together, etc. No masks anywhere. just needed to vent somewhere, so I don't at them. 6 17 Quote
SounderChick Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 (edited) Yep their are barely any really people left on my Facebook news feed. I've hidden so many. Some don't even seem to realize what they are doing. One posted a picture of themselves with extended family, saying they had quarantined for two weeks to make it happen. They didn't they were at church they read the bulletin!! Edited December 27, 2020 by rebcoola Auto correct sucks 1 6 2 Quote
happi duck Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 I don't understand gathering normally. I would never be able to enjoy myself. I wish people would embrace the masked group photo or the staggered distanced photo. I wish it would become normal to state what precautions were taken, not to police people but to make it the norm. 6 1 Quote
Kalmia Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 MOST of my FB friends either did outdoor distanced holiday things or skipped/zoomed them. But one of my friends and her husband has traveled from FL to French Polynesia and are island hopping, currently on Bora Bora with more stops planned for the two week holiday! I think they are trying to stay away from people, but planes, boats, tours! I know, I wouldn't want to be the one who spread COVID from island to island! 2 Quote
math teacher Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 Yes, I am seeing it too, and it makes me shake my head in disbelief. One friend also posted that if you're going to wear a mask, please don't touch it. "I don't want your germs!" Uh-excuse me, I don't want yours either, that's why I wear a mask and wish you would too. She and her like thinking sister have now been snoozed. A lot of times I think their tirades are directed at me, because (for instance) today I was the only one in church with a mask. It's sad and frustrating. 2 10 Quote
historically accurate Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 I think this is why my MIL was so upset with our socially distanced Christmas. Her church family does not mask believing it to be a matter of faith. So she is getting that story and seeing those pictures and then we don't sit right next to her and don't hug her. 2 Quote
Pawz4me Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 I'm seeing so much of the same thing, and as hard as I try to fight it I'm becoming very bitter with some of DH's family. I don't think either of us will ever be able to think well of them again. He's extremely high risk (stage IV cancer, only one kidney, several other more minor--all things considered--health issues that still put him at higher risk). And they don't get why we won't see them. All we can come back to is that they either really just don't give a you-know-what about seeing him or don't care if they infect and kill him. MIL is also high risk (spent two nights in the hospital just a little over a week ago having two heart procedures) and . . they just do not care that they put her at risk. I really think I'm just about done with 75 percent of the people I know. Well and truly done. And they better not start their God is so good/God this/God that claptrap with me either. They know zero about what it means to be a real Christian. Less than zero, if that's possible. They blab the talk and do nothing/know nothing about walking the walk. (Sorry for the rant, but I do feel a bit better and I haven't even hit "post" yet. I guess I needed to get that out. Thank for listening.) 18 6 1 Quote
ktgrok Posted December 27, 2020 Author Posted December 27, 2020 9 minutes ago, Pawz4me said: I really think I'm just about done with 75 percent of the people I know. Well and truly done. And they better not start their God is so good/God this/God that claptrap with me either. They know zero about what it means to be a real Christian. Less than zero, if that's possible. They blab the talk and do nothing/know nothing about walking the walk. (Sorry for the rant, but I do feel a bit better and I haven't even hit "post" yet. I guess I needed to get that out. Thank for listening.) yes - many/most of the old church group I was part of is like this. Posting photos of group events (which are not sanctioned/allowed officially so they keep having "unofficial" get togethers!), asking to meet up for playdates, going out to eat together, etc etc. UGH! 1 Quote
ScoutTN Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 I'm not on FB, but knowing how some friends are thinking and behaving will permanently alter our relationships. SO very disheartening to see Christians agressively NOT loving their neighbors. So much really, really bad, theology being used as justification for selfish, dangerous behavior. 15 1 Quote
Not_a_Number Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 That is SO frustrating. I've basically stopped talking to everyone who isn't taking the virus seriously, I think. So I'm not seeing that all over my feed, thankfully... I would find that incredibly disheartening. 2 Quote
prairiewindmomma Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 Yes. I am especially bothered by those who misrepresent their level of caution. I have never been so happy to live thousands of miles away from my extended family—no worries about people showing up on my doorstep here. 6 Quote
RootAnn Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 We're definitely not able to stay completely isolated (DH works in person, dd#2 works with kids in a gym twice per week--both situations require masking). DD#1 is only home from college for a week, so we are aware of our risk profile personally. My best friend wanted dd#1 & I to go over together today to see her & her daughter (dd's friend) but they just had a big family gathering last night. Inside. For hours. So, nope. Love you, but no. Percent positive rates are 30-50% for the last several weeks in our area. Can't add that into our risk budget. 1 Quote
Elizabeth86 Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 It's crazy. The only people in my circle that are being careful are my parents and me. Everyone is else is running around doing as they please. It is unreal. The chat board is the only place online that reminds me we are living in a pandemic. 5 Quote
Amethyst Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 I got so depressed and resentful a few days before Christmas when I saw someone on social media with her FIANCE’S AUNT cooking all day. I felt so resentful! She can do that!??! But I can’t even hug my girls because they returned from their apartments but they haven’t been quarantined for 14 days yet?! Why can she do that and I can’t be with my own daughters??!?! (Thanks for the place to vent). 1 4 Quote
Not_a_Number Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 Honestly, I don't even bother feeling angry anymore. We do what keeps US safe, which means 14 day quarantines and other serious precautions. We did form a pod, so hopefully that doesn't bite us in the rear, but I've been paranoid about everyone in the pod being EXTREMELY careful. 2 Quote
mathnerd Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 For me, the takeaway from 2020 has been that a much larger portion of humanity is more entitled and are idiots than I thought. I am off social media and I still had to face that harsh reality. 10 3 Quote
Kanin Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 11 minutes ago, Amethyst said: I got so depressed and resentful a few days before Christmas when I saw someone on social media with her FIANCE’S AUNT cooking all day. I felt so resentful! She can do that!??! But I can’t even hug my girls because they returned from their apartments but they haven’t been quarantined for 14 days yet?! Why can she do that and I can’t be with my own daughters??!?! (Thanks for the place to vent). I hear you. I'm not seeing my mom inside or even hugging her when we're outside, and it's awful. She is so lonely. I am angry with people who are not taking this seriously. Like someone else said, if everyone was being as careful as possible, people who need connections (elderly, people who live alone) would be safer connecting. My mom lives alone. She is not seeing other people hardly at all, and always outside. It's 30 degrees today, though, and soon it'll be too cold to visit outside for more than a couple minutes. Honestly, I wouldn't blame her if she DID visit inside, because geez! Living alone is hard enough when it's not a pandemic. But people with families... they can stay home except for doing the essentials (speaking generally, of course there are exceptions). Seeing people being irresponsible is so upsetting. 1 Quote
SKL Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 I understand the concerns, and why you all want to stay away from these folks for now and snooze them on fb. But it is disturbing to me to see so many people saying that they want to stay away from these people permanently now. Humanity is not designed to stay apart. We do it when we need to because we need to. It is not normal or healthy. I'm an extreme introvert, but I can't wait until it is no longer "inconsiderate / careless" to be less than 6' from people while letting them see our smiles. People have different opinions, act ignorantly, and make mistakes. These are not reasons to cut off normal human interactions for the long term. I wonder what the young people of today will be like as far as interacting with and caring for their fellow humans, if they are seeing their parents model some of the sentiments I see above. It feels like a huge step backward - like the days when people refused to swim in the same pool with those whose skin didn't match. Am I the only person who feels sick when I physically avoid another person walking down the street? 20 1 Quote
busymama7 Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 8 minutes ago, SKL said: I understand the concerns, and why you all want to stay away from these folks for now and snooze them on fb. But it is disturbing to me to see so many people saying that they want to stay away from these people permanently now. Humanity is not designed to stay apart. We do it when we need to because we need to. It is not normal or healthy. I'm an extreme introvert, but I can't wait until it is no longer "inconsiderate / careless" to be less than 6' from people while letting them see our smiles. People have different opinions, act ignorantly, and make mistakes. These are not reasons to cut off normal human interactions for the long term. I wonder what the young people of today will be like as far as interacting with and caring for their fellow humans, if they are seeing their parents model some of the sentiments I see above. It feels like a huge step backward - like the days when people refused to swim in the same pool with those whose skin didn't match. Am I the only person who feels sick when I physically avoid another person walking down the street? No. You aren't. I hate that too. Avoiding people feels so incredibly yucky and not at all a normal human experience. I am living a covid long hauler life right now and I do believe in needing to take precautions and all of that. But I am *deeply* concerned about the impact on young children from only seeing masked people and being taught/influenced not to get close to people. My children say something almost *every* time they watch a movie about people being closer than 6 feet. I do wonder and am concerned about the fall out from that psychologically for children. Especially children but honestly I'm not sure it won't affect adults too. 9 1 Quote
Elizabeth86 Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 2 hours ago, historically accurate said: I think this is why my MIL was so upset with our socially distanced Christmas. Her church family does not mask believing it to be a matter of faith. So she is getting that story and seeing those pictures and then we don't sit right next to her and don't hug her. I can't stand that faith over fear nonsense. I never fail to mention that these folks say I shouldn't fear a virus, I ask why they need to walk around in public with a gun strapped to them for protection if they have faith over fear. ( I am pro gun, but I'm also pro mask and pro doing whatever it takes to keep my family safe) They never really know what to say. Lol 13 Quote
JennyD Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 (edited) 27 minutes ago, SKL said: I wonder what the young people of today will be like as far as interacting with and caring for their fellow humans, if they are seeing their parents model some of the sentiments I see above. It feels like a huge step backward - like the days when people refused to swim in the same pool with those whose skin didn't match. This analogy seems bizarre to me. Distancing yourself from individual people for whom you have lost affection and/or respect is an entirely different phenomenon from racial discrimination. To say the least. I am not on FB and am generally not spending a lot of time or energy getting angry at folks for irresponsible behavior, but there are absolutely people whom I will never, ever take seriously again. It does strike me ever so often that the entire American media owes an apology to the people of West Africa for its coverage of the 2014 Ebola epidemic. So many articles mulling over the perplexing question of why those poor benighted Sierra Leoneans were continuing to handle their sick and dead when it was so obvious that that was how the virus was transmitted. Such a tragic story of (nonwhite) people clinging to their (weird) traditional cultural rituals in the face of modern scientific evidence.....always with the subtext that of course WE would never behave like that, of course not. Edited December 27, 2020 by JennyD 26 3 Quote
Shoeless Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 (edited) 39 minutes ago, SKL said: I wonder what the young people of today will be like as far as interacting with and caring for their fellow humans, if they are seeing their parents model some of the sentiments I see above. It feels like a huge step backward - like the days when people refused to swim in the same pool with those whose skin didn't match. Am I the only person who feels sick when I physically avoid another person walking down the street? Don't. Just don't. This isn't even remotely close to the same thing and you know it. Edited December 27, 2020 by MissLemon 11 16 Quote
regentrude Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 (edited) 59 minutes ago, SKL said: Am I the only person who feels sick when I physically avoid another person walking down the street? Why do you feel sick? I feel that I step aside to give the other person space and make them feel that I care about their safety. For us, streets are less of an issue, but it happens frequently on the trail. Often, both parties try to step aside and make room; there are often smiles, thank-you's. It is a human interaction signaling "I care". I am sad that I cannot gather with friends - but stepping a few feet away from random folks I encounter walking is not something I am deeply emotional about. Edited December 27, 2020 by regentrude 17 7 Quote
Guest Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 1 hour ago, SKL said: I understand the concerns, and why you all want to stay away from these folks for now and snooze them on fb. But it is disturbing to me to see so many people saying that they want to stay away from these people permanently now. Humanity is not designed to stay apart. We do it when we need to because we need to. It is not normal or healthy. I'm an extreme introvert, but I can't wait until it is no longer "inconsiderate / careless" to be less than 6' from people while letting them see our smiles. People have different opinions, act ignorantly, and make mistakes. These are not reasons to cut off normal human interactions for the long term. I wonder what the young people of today will be like as far as interacting with and caring for their fellow humans, if they are seeing their parents model some of the sentiments I see above. It feels like a huge step backward - like the days when people refused to swim in the same pool with those whose skin didn't match. Am I the only person who feels sick when I physically avoid another person walking down the street? Having recently witnessed what seems to me an extreme over-reaction by a friend due to an exposure, I agree with the bolded. I do feel frustrated by people who don’t take precautions, or who talk out of both sides of their mouths as far as the risks they assume, however, I don’t think anyone who gets Corona because they had their grown kids in for holidays deserves to be forever shunned when that risk did indeed translate into some positive Covid tests. I know that, cautious though I am - if we put numbers on the caution level, with 10 being fanatically cautious and totally isolated, I would probably be a 7 - there are still small risks I am accepting. I hope I don’t contract or circulate COVID ever and I am not remotely blasé about it, but I’m accepting the small risks of, for example, my big kids and their loves coming to my house for holidays. I have been feeling sorry for the babies born into the family this year because they aren’t getting the doting aunties and grandparents in abundance, something I believe is very socially healthy for babies in normal times. I have not seen any of my three great nephews born this year, except in pictures. That’s sad. 18 Quote
Guest Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 10 minutes ago, lauraw4321 said: I'm glad I deleted FB again. Yup. I have not deleted my FB, but I deleted my apps so it is rather inconvenient to log on and I now pop in only once a month or so. I am so, so, so much happier not knowing so much about what everybody is doing, how seriously they are taking COVID, who they voted for an why, and all the other nonsense circulated on FB. I have considered deleting FB entirely. I do worry that I’ll be too cut off. But I don’t really have any question that I would be happier without it. Quote
Terabith Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 1 minute ago, Choirfarm3 said: Yes, I mean we did not isolate from either of our two children that came home from college and grad school. And ditto to the babies. My husband and I did isolate for two weeks, then went to see my mother-in-law. ( College girl was able to isolate with us, but before other son came home.) We did have a small family gathering outside for a couple of hours. Everyone wore masks even though we were outside. My nephew had the first great-grandchild in the family. At least my mother-in-law got to see her, but she didn't get to cuddle. I have to wonder about what this will do. And then all of the children 5 and under who I'm sure have had parents scolding them for trying to hug or cautioning about not getting close to people, etc. I do believe this will have psychological consequences for babies and children. Heck for me.. I have less concern for the babies and small children than I do pretty much anyone else. Tiny ones don’t really need a huge community outside of nuclear family. 15 Quote
prairiewindmomma Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 Can we also agree that there is a huge difference between meeting a few relatives, masked, and 100+ person get together, unmasked? I totally understand that people want to see parents and children. I am upset when I see my relative, who is supposed to be in a bubble—and whose other members are taking precautions—unmasked at a very large gathering. Other photos show trips to see friends, restaurants, etc. There’s a range of behavior, iykwim. I only find some of it egregiously unsafe. 18 Quote
Guest Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 2 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said: Can we also agree that there is a huge difference between meeting a few relatives, masked, and 100+ person get together, unmasked? I totally understand that people want to see parents and children. I am upset when I see my relative, who is supposed to be in a bubble—and whose other members are taking precautions—unmasked at a very large gathering. Other photos show trips to see friends, restaurants, etc. There’s a range of behavior, iykwim. I only find some of it egregiously unsafe. Yes, I agree there is a difference. Fortunately, I haven’t seen anything like this in my circles, though that may partly be because I spend such a minuscule amount of time on FB now. The most recent thing that jangled my alarm bells was a few months ago, photos of a wedding (outdoors) with masks not visible in the photos I saw (though, possibly they were just taken off for photos). What *I* saw looked like people not taking precautions and carrying on with a normal wedding, but I don’t know the whole story; I was not there. I think the part of the country I am in makes a big difference. Safety compliance is generally very high, even though we have our rebellious segments as well. Quote
prairiewindmomma Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 Relatives are going to get a pass from me, but there’s going to be some distance there. Honestly, some friendships are on the slow fade in my life. Those that I think are just unaware will likely remain, but the callous disregard for health of others? The inherently and knowingly selfish? Those are gone. I don’t want to be friends with someone like that. It’s not confrontational, but I am not expending my energy maintaining those. It’s the same thing as when my dd had cancer and someone dropped by knowing they were sick but didn’t think they’d do harm in a 20 min visit. Dd nearly died and was hospitalized for a week. I put distance in the friendship because there was no remorse. No apology. I still waved hi and was friendly in public circles—but they were shoved out of the details of my life and put into the acquaintance box. Friendship is a privilege. Acquaintanceship is what you do when you have to interact. 4 10 Quote
Guest Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 11 minutes ago, Terabith said: I have less concern for the babies and small children than I do pretty much anyone else. Tiny ones don’t really need a huge community outside of nuclear family. I am skeptical of that assertion. I think one thing modern life does badly is inter-generational nurturing. Babies and toddlers get a LOT out of extended family, inter-generational interaction. It goes a long way to help children grow up socially healthy. 6 1 Quote
prairiewindmomma Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 On a related note, friend who went to a “socially distanced concert” is now ill. Friends who sang at church, unmasked, all ill. Friends who went to Christmas party at church—several of those are ill. Several friends have parents on respirators. This is just today’s scrolling. I’m not into schadenfreude but the fact that they are all saying, “I don’t know how I got this” makes me want to hit them with the clue stick, iykwim. 8 1 11 Quote
Amy Gen Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 (edited) I feel like this is a time to pray the serenity prayer. I don’t really understand getting so upset about something that we have absolutely no control over. I have control over how my family and I behave. I feel like we are on a number line and we call anyone to the left of us too careless, but we need to acknowledge that there are people to the right of us who are judging us as being way too lax. I don’t see any room for self-righteousness here. We are all doing what we think is best considering our own limited knowledge and unique circumstances. I’m sad that I haven’t been able to see my oldest all summer or over the holidays, but it was a decision that we agreed on as being best for our family. We don’t blame other people for our decision. I think my oldest has been more careful than anyone I know. She hasn’t been in a store or restaurant since March. Her groceries are delivered. Her work and classes are online. She takes her walks at midnight so she won’t encounter others on the street. Nevertheless, in August, on her birthday, she drove to Chicago to get a dog from a kill shelter. She had an appointment and wore a mask, but FOR HER, the isolation was worse than the risk of getting COVID during that outing. So there is surely someone who is farther down the spectrum of caution who would judge her as completely irresponsible for not just sucking it up and remaining dogless and completely alone. My point is that someone is going to judge you no matter what you choose and worrying about that judgment is a waste of time because it is out of your control. My best friend was very cautious early on. She didn’t let her college aged son come home for spring break because he and his girlfriend went to the movies. She has moved away from being so cautious. I don’t know all of the reasons, but since she is a person who I respect, I believe that she has reason to decide that the benefits outweigh the risks for her specific situation. She doesn’t owe me an explanation of what that situation might be. It isn’t going to change my faith in her or love for her. I have a friend here who always wears a mask around me while we visit outside. I haven’t seen him, and worried he might be sick, but Dd told me to keep it hush hush but his family went on vacation for the holidays. Who am I to judge him or change my feelings about his family. Clearly, they felt like the need was more important than the risks. I’m doing my best to be careful, but my son’s girlfriend is visiting now. I think it is lowish risk because she takes classes and works online but it isn’t completely without risk. I choose to encourage this because the risk is less (in my estimation) than the effect that total isolation would have on him. I just assume that my friends are making the same thoughtful, hard choices that I am. They don’t need to justify their choices to me, any more than I owe them an explanation. It does rub me the wrong way when people post on FB about how everyone should be absolutely perfect at all times in their caution but I later find out that they were at a Halloween party and their kids play daily at the neighbor’s, but that doesn’t count in their minds because those people are “in their pod”. Give me a break. My biggest issue with FB lately is that I have nothing interesting to post because I’m not doing anything interesting. But that is a new challenge for me to address. Edited December 27, 2020 by Amy Gen 11 2 Quote
Terabith Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 29 minutes ago, Quill said: I am skeptical of that assertion. I think one thing modern life does badly is inter-generational nurturing. Babies and toddlers get a LOT out of extended family, inter-generational interaction. It goes a long way to help children grow up socially healthy. I don't think it's ideal, at all, but I have a lot less worry about the ability of a baby or toddler who is in lockdown for a year to recover than for the older teens/ college students/ young adults just trying to start out and establish themselves. I think that's the group for whom there will be long lasting repercussions that are hard to recover from, not necessarily in terms of social anxiety but in terms of educational and economic repercussions. 12 Quote
Guest Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 1 minute ago, Terabith said: I don't think it's ideal, at all, but I have a lot less worry about the ability of a baby or toddler who is in lockdown for a year to recover than for the older teens/ college students/ young adults just trying to start out and establish themselves. I think that's the group for whom there will be long lasting repercussions that are hard to recover from, not necessarily in terms of social anxiety but in terms of educational and economic repercussions. I don’t think you’re wrong about that age group. I have two kids in that age group. I think it sucks for most everyone. I have been thinking particularly about the babies in my life, though. It makes me sad that being bombarded with cousins and aunties is not part of their lives. They may be a year old before they experience it and then it might just be frightening. 1 Quote
busymama7 Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 1 minute ago, Terabith said: I don't think it's ideal, at all, but I have a lot less worry about the ability of a baby or toddler who is in lockdown for a year to recover than for the older teens/ college students/ young adults just trying to start out and establish themselves. I think that's the group for whom there will be long lasting repercussions that are hard to recover from, not necessarily in terms of social anxiety but in terms of educational and economic repercussions. I'm not concerned as much about a baby only socializing with their immediate family. But like we go to church. It is distanced and masked. What effect will this have on my 6 and 8 year olds who aren't allowed to go up to their friends or hug the grandmotherly woman who they are close to. Yes they know why and mostly take things in stride. But we don't know how this will affect them long term and if they will be able to interact with people normally after this *especially* if it takes years to go back to normal. It's not normal to not sit next to church members or play on the playground with your friends etc. They have each other for which I am so grateful. But they are being told to stay away from kids or adults they may come across and I hate it. I do it anyways and we talk about it. But I worry about long term psychological effects like anxiety. I saw my 3 year old grand niece briefly outdoors and it was SO strange to not be able to talk and interact with her normally. She couldn't see me talk or smile at her nor could she come up and sit with me or play etc. It gave me the sickest feeling. I am very concerned. I think it's necessary, but I don't think it's without consequences. 3 Quote
Terabith Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 Just now, Quill said: I don’t think you’re wrong about that age group. I have two kids in that age group. I think it sucks for most everyone. I have been thinking particularly about the babies in my life, though. It makes me sad that being bombarded with cousins and aunties is not part of their lives. They may be a year old before they experience it and then it might just be frightening. My oldest would have been sad to have been in lockdown for the first year or two of their life. They were intensely social, but I also don't think tiny ones know any different, and I think they're a lot more malleable. Honestly, my younger one would probably have done better in lockdown. She had intense social anxiety from birth, and while I thought gradually exposing her in safe ways was the right thing to do, in retrospect, I'm not sure at all that that was the case. I don't think, for most babies/ toddlers, that lockdown is the ideal situation. I just think it has less detrimental effect on that age group than most others. They're still developing their immune systems; they don't have the strong social drives for a peer group that even elementary aged kids have; they aren't suffering academically. I just don't worry about them as much as I do older kids, teens, adults, and elders. 1 Quote
Not_a_Number Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 42 minutes ago, Quill said: I am skeptical of that assertion. I think one thing modern life does badly is inter-generational nurturing. Babies and toddlers get a LOT out of extended family, inter-generational interaction. It goes a long way to help children grow up socially healthy. Anecdotally, half the people I know are podding with their family. We're seeing MORE of the grandparents right now than we do normally. We just don't see anyone else. 2 Quote
Not_a_Number Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 2 hours ago, SKL said: But it is disturbing to me to see so many people saying that they want to stay away from these people permanently now. I only need to interact with a small fraction of humanity day to day, and an even smaller fraction will become true friends. And yes, I feel judgmental about people who aren't doing their part to take care of other people. No, I'm not going to shun them, but yes, I'm going to factor in their behavior during the pandemic when I choose my friends. 8 Quote
regentrude Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 6 minutes ago, Quill said: It makes me sad that being bombarded with cousins and aunties is not part of their lives. They may be a year old before they experience it and then it might just be frightening. I think that is unlikely. Babies and toddlers can adapt to new people in their lives. The experience of being surrounded by extended family is a special one, not a prerequisite for healthy development - just like my growing up in a multigenerational household was not at all like my children's experience of growing up an ocean away from all family members. Children adapt, as long as their nuclear family is loving. It sucks for all age groups - but the age group for who it sucks the most are the old people. The teens and the college students have the privilege of time. Time to make up for lost opportunities. The old people who spend the last months of their lives in lockdown in a nursing home without seeing loved ones - they have nothing. Their spouses who spend the last months of their marriage already mourning the separation - they are robbed of precious time they won't get back. Those are the ones for whom I feel most deeply. 15 5 8 Quote
ktgrok Posted December 27, 2020 Author Posted December 27, 2020 56 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said: Can we also agree that there is a huge difference between meeting a few relatives, masked, and 100+ person get together, unmasked? I totally understand that people want to see parents and children. I am upset when I see my relative, who is supposed to be in a bubble—and whose other members are taking precautions—unmasked at a very large gathering. Other photos show trips to see friends, restaurants, etc. There’s a range of behavior, iykwim. I only find some of it egregiously unsafe. exactly. as an example, my best friend's brother, who is a cop, had over 30 people over for a Christmas party, inside, unmasked, and hired a bartender to be there - also unmasked. Over half his department has or has had Covid! And now he can't smell things and his daughtr is sick but he refuses to be tested unless he gets worse. He is still working! He's putting anyone he comes into contact with at risk, including everyone at his party. And then same friend - her sister had 14 people over for dinner, 4 of whom are not related to her, another 4 that came from across the country. That's on a whole different level than say, visiting grandma on her last days or letting your dependent children stay with you over break. 43 minutes ago, Quill said: I am skeptical of that assertion. I think one thing modern life does badly is inter-generational nurturing. Babies and toddlers get a LOT out of extended family, inter-generational interaction. It goes a long way to help children grow up socially healthy. I agree - but that is why it is so important to keep that extended family healthy - so they get years and years fo that love. 28 minutes ago, Amy Gen said: I don’t know all of the reasons, but since she is a person that I respect, I believe that she has reason to decide that the benefits outweigh the risks for her specific situation. Clearly, they felt like the need was more important than the risks. But they are not just risking themselves, is the issue. I'm not frustrated because I'm jealous, I'm frustrated because their behavior could kill others. And a lot of it is just pure "cause I wanna". There is no NEED to have a 30 person Christmas party with hired staff. That's a want. And we as a country have forgotten how to figure out the difference. 18 3 1 Quote
Not_a_Number Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 1 minute ago, regentrude said: The teens and the college students have the privilege of time. Time to make up for lost opportunities. Except that sometimes, it's really hard to catch up for lost years of schooling/work/etc. I think everyone's getting a raw deal, frankly. 7 1 Quote
Not_a_Number Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 Just now, ktgrok said: as an example, my best friend's brother, who is a cop, had over 30 people over for a Christmas party, inside, unmasked, and hired a bartender to be there - also unmasked. Over half his department has or has had Covid! And now he can't smell things and his daughtr is sick but he refuses to be tested unless he gets worse. He is still working! He's putting anyone he comes into contact with at risk, including everyone at his party. OK, that's ridiculous and awful and a level of denial that would make my eyes roll all the way out of my head. Quote
regentrude Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 7 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said: Anecdotally, half the people I know are podding with their family. We're seeing MORE of the grandparents right now than we do normally. We just don't see anyone else. I am sure you recognize the immense privilege of a situation where all of these people either work remote or don't have to work at all. 15 Quote
Not_a_Number Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 Just now, regentrude said: I am sure you recognize the immense privilege of a situation where all of these people either work remote or don't have to work at all. Yeah, of course I do. It's definitely a white collar job kind of thing. I was just thinking that I know a LOT of people like that. And yes, they are all lucky enough to have remote work... but it's also the case that they would NOT see nearly as much of the grandparents otherwise. Quote
regentrude Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 1 minute ago, Not_a_Number said: Except that sometimes, it's really hard to catch up for lost years of schooling/work/etc. I think everyone's getting a raw deal, frankly. I am not saying it's easy. But it is possible. The old man who dies alone in a nursing home without having seen his children - there's no "hard to catch up". This is finite. That's whole different level of awful. 6 Quote
Not_a_Number Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 Just now, regentrude said: I am not saying it's easy. But it is possible. The old man who dies alone in a nursing home without having seen his children - there's no "hard to catch up". This is finite. That's whole different level of awful. I really don't know how to compare those. I think having your life blighted is an awful thing. Both suck. 2 Quote
ScoutTN Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 3 hours ago, RootAnn said: We're definitely not able to stay completely isolated (DH works in person, dd#2 works with kids in a gym twice per week--both situations require masking). DD#1 is only home from college for a week, so we are aware of our risk profile personally. My best friend wanted dd#1 & I to go over together today to see her & her daughter (dd's friend) but they just had a big family gathering last night. Inside. For hours. So, nope. Love you, but no. Percent positive rates are 30-50% for the last several weeks in our area. Can't add that into our risk budget. The risk budget concept is so helpful. We too are not able to be completely isolated. School and work are necessary and I have a off the scale, massively extroverted kid who would be on big time medication if he saw no one but our nuclear family and had zero activity outside our home. But we eliminate unnecessary exposure, follow all the protocols, take sime supplement, spend lots of time outdoors, etc. We are conservative and all of our extended family are very liberal and for once we are mostly in agreement. 9 Quote
mom2scouts Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 Yes, I understand. We didn't get together with anyone outside the house for Christmas, so no celebration with my adult children, first grandbaby, or elderly parents. We dropped off food and gifts and had a video call with some of them. During the video call, my DIL's parents showed up and they get to see the baby because they're "part of the pod" although they have as much outside exposure as I have. DIL thinks of all kinds of justifications for anything they do. I'm trying not to let it affect my relationship with DIL, but unlike her parents, I'm missing my first grandchild's entire first year. Facebook is full of people having social events and, yes, it is frustrating. That bowling party, trip to Europe (!), extended family get together, and ski trip to the other side of the country all look really fun. I wish the pandemic was over so I could have a social life too. 13 Quote
livetoread Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 3 minutes ago, regentrude said: I am not saying it's easy. But it is possible. The old man who dies alone in a nursing home without having seen his children - there's no "hard to catch up". This is finite. That's whole different level of awful. This haunts me, too. I read about a older woman who was interviewed about the possibility of dying alone. She said at first she was frightened by the thought, but then thought some more and said she would just picture her loving family around her. She knew they would be there if they could, and so knowing that made it easier to feel their presence, even from a distance, and it gave her peace just to know she was that loved. It made me cry to read it, and it makes me cry to type it now. It's lovely and heart-breaking at the same time, and I love that woman for saying it. It made me feel better about the possibility of my own parents being in that situation. 3 2 Quote
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.