Boy/girl names

[BakersDozen]

I'm rather stuck on most boy/girl names being kept as just that. I twitch if I hear a girl named James or Ezra and can't get past the fact that I have yet to meet a boy named Hannah or Rachel. I guess I'm behind the times because when I call my little guy at a park (Felix) and a mom turns and says, "Oh, I named my daughter that!" and spells it out as "Phelix" I just feel kind of lost as to what to say. All I could do was blink.

I don't go for the my-kid-is-the-only-one-with-this-name thing so expect to meet a few here and there - in fact there is a 14yo who plays hockey named Felix which my kids think is really cool. But a girl "Phelix" threw me for a loop.

Guess I need to read up on trendy/modern baby names and get with the times.

This is a random post topic...sorry!





 

[Farrar]

I was almost given the name that I ended up naming one of my sons. It's definitely a masculine name and I think it might have made a really good name for a girl. My mother was going to name me Charlotte and make that my middle name but call me by it. I do still have a male middle name, I just don't go by it.

I like gender ambiguous names. It bugs me a bit that they mostly go one direction, but it's not like it's a new phenomenon. Ashley, Francis, Lauren, many others crossed over eons ago. As more girls were given these names, parents stopped naming boys those names. Like if Felix becomes a popular female name, will parents stop giving it to baby boys? Probably, given historical trends. 

I do think as more parents allow for the idea that gender expression is something their child will figure out as they age, that ambiguous names will become more and more of a thing.

[Jean in Newcastle]

What is there to say?  I guess I'd just say "Nice!" if someone volunteered that.  They are obviously seeing a bond in the shared name. 

[MercyA]

I'm with you, but to each their own, I guess! 

[Laura Corin]

6 hours ago, Farrar said:

I was almost given the name that I ended up naming one of my sons. It's definitely a masculine name and I think it might have made a really good name for a girl. My mother was going to name me Charlotte and make that my middle name but call me by it. I do still have a male middle name, I just don't go by it.

I like gender ambiguous names. It bugs me a bit that they mostly go one direction, but it's not like it's a new phenomenon. Ashley, Francis, Lauren, many others crossed over eons ago. As more girls were given these names, parents stopped naming boys those names. Like if Felix becomes a popular female name, will parents stop giving it to baby boys? Probably, given historical trends. 

I do think as more parents allow for the idea that gender expression is something their child will figure out as they age, that ambiguous names will become more and more of a thing.

Traditionally I  think it's Francis for a boy and Frances for a girl, isn’t it? Eta I have a female cousin Frances, and there's the author Frances Burney in the 18th C.

I know someone named Jay, born in the 1950s, who was due to be named that whatever his sex - his mum liked the name regardless. 

Edited December 24, 2020 by Laura Corin

[Carrie12345]

It’s never bothered me, though the PH thing might, lol. 
 

I was related to a male Lauren, almost dated a male Carrie (spelled different), went to school with both Erins, my sister Courtney graduated with a male Courtney, I sometimes have to specify my Morgan’s gender, and I recently heard a female Sebastian on tv or YouTube or something. :::shrug:::

I might not rush to name a boy Melissa in the very near future, but I don’t see why anything HAS to have one gender rule.  

[MEmama]

My son has a gender neutral name. It was actually important to me. 🤷‍♀️

[regentrude]

I would love it if a person's gender weren't the first thing emphasized about them. Perhaps gender neutraal names are a tiny step towards that.

I like the challenge to the societal obsession with sorting humans by gender in all kinds of situations where that's completely irrelevant.

Eta: my kids have gendered names; their country of birth only allows names that unambiguously denote the gender. So stupid. There's literally a list of permitted names under which you may register your kid.

Edited December 24, 2020 by regentrude

[Guest]

Well, as someone whose husband has a name which, while originally a male name, went to girls in the 60s/70s, I can tell you it’s often not ideal. I do think some/many kids struggle with having a name more widely known for the opposite gender. I think it’s more likely to be a problem for a guy with a name perceived as girly than for girls with more boyish names. For this reason, once a name starts being adopted for girls, fewer people choose it for boys. (For an example, think of the names Taylor, or Jordan. In the 80s/90s there was a lot of overlap but both these names were given increasingly often to girls, sometimes with changes supposedly making it girlish, like “Jordyn”. Now both these names are rarely given to boys.) 

I do not especially like intentional misspellings meant to “unique-ify” the name. Some are simply ugly written a different way, but my bigger issue would be the child forever having to “correct” people who spell their name wrong by spelling it right. Like, “Emma-Leigh” for Emily. Does poor Emma-Leigh really want to go through life spelling that out - with a hyphen! - when people invariably write it the traditional way? 

Yes, I soapbox on this issue. While of course it’s a free country, and yes people can name their kid whatever they like, I dislike when parents saddle their kids with a problematic name, just to be “Kre8tiv”. I think it’s wrong just like I think it’s wrong to put Coke in your toddler’s sippy cup. 

 

[maize]

I can't think of any long standing human culture in which naming patterns don't have strong divisions according to sex.

I do find it irritating that names transfer almost exclusively from male usage to female usage in our culture. Seems to me to reinforce the masculine=superior thought pattern. Names we consider gender neutral pretty much all started as masculine names.

There are cultures where feminine names have been used as part of a boy's name; Marie for example is fairly common as a masculine middle name in France.

[Guest]

Adding: one little perk of my husband having a name often given to girls: I can call on his credit card statement or something else and say it’s my card. He’s not  good at tasks like that and we make more headway if I just call and use his name as if that is me. 

[Momto6inIN]

Tell us how you really feel, @QuillLOL I agree with you, on the "creative" spellings (and the Coke) 😉

I am married to a male Loren. This is a fairly common Swiss/German/Amish male name, but in wider society it's commonly spelled Lauren and given only to a girl. It doesn't cause us any problems, really, but it is awkward sometimes when people assume Loren is a girl and then they feel bad when they find out he's not. It just causes less confusion, IMO, when the gender is clear. It's human nature to sort people into categories - if not gender, then we'd sort them in some other way *shrug*

[fairfarmhand]

18 minutes ago, Quill said:

Well, as someone whose husband has a name which, while originally a male name, went to girls in the 60s/70s, I can tell you it’s often not ideal. I do think some/many kids struggle with having a name more widely known for the opposite gender. I think it’s more likely to be a problem for a guy with a name perceived as girly than for girls with more boyish names. For this reason, once a name starts being adopted for girls, fewer people choose it for boys. (For an example, think of the names Taylor, or Jordan. In the 80s/90s there was a lot of overlap but both these names were given increasingly often to girls, sometimes with changes supposedly making it girlish, like “Jordyn”. Now both these names are rarely given to boys.) 

I do not especially like intentional misspellings meant to “unique-ify” the name. Some are simply ugly written a different way, but my bigger issue would be the child forever having to “correct” people who spell their name wrong by spelling it right. Like, “Emma-Leigh” for Emily. Does poor Emma-Leigh really want to go through life spelling that out - with a hyphen! - when people invariably write it the traditional way? 

Yes, I soapbox on this issue. While of course it’s a free country, and yes people can name their kid whatever they like, I dislike when parents saddle their kids with a problematic name, just to be “Kre8tiv”. I think it’s wrong just like I think it’s wrong to put Coke in your toddler’s sippy cup. 

 

And it trickles down to those who weren’t so creative. I have an Emily. Plain old ordinary, traditionally spelled Emily. And she complains that NOBODY can spell it right. She continually has to correct others. 

[marbel]

15 minutes ago, Quill said:

<snip>

I do not especially like intentional misspellings meant to “unique-ify” the name. Some are simply ugly written a different way, but my bigger issue would be the child forever having to “correct” people who spell their name wrong by spelling it right. Like, “Emma-Leigh” for Emily. Does poor Emma-Leigh really want to go through life spelling that out - with a hyphen! - when people invariably write it the traditional way? 

Yes, I soapbox on this issue. While of course it’s a free country, and yes people can name their kid whatever they like, I dislike when parents saddle their kids with a problematic name, just to be “Kre8tiv”. I think it’s wrong just like I think it’s wrong to put Coke in your toddler’s sippy cup. 

 

I agree with you. But especially re: intentional misspellings...

I work in customer service. It really makes it harder to assist a customer when they don't let me know that their name is spelled differently than is typical. Sometimes name is all we have to go by when identifying someone who has had a prior interaction with us. So many people are rude about it, sighing deeply or giving a little tongue click or annoyance when I have to ask. But I'm looking for "Courtney," not "Kortni." (If their last name is uncommon it may work out, but there can be a lot of the same first/last name combinations.) I always spell my name, as there are a few variations on it. I also spell my  last name, even though it's common. 

 

[Carrie12345]

34 minutes ago, Quill said:

I do not especially like intentional misspellings meant to “unique-ify” the name. Some are simply ugly written a different way, but my bigger issue would be the child forever having to “correct” people who spell their name wrong by spelling it right. Like, “Emma-Leigh” for Emily. Does poor Emma-Leigh really want to go through life spelling that out - with a hyphen! - when people invariably write it the traditional way? 

I have a -leigh without the hyphen and I almost regret it. The thing that saves me from regret is the fact that the name has 842 spellings, so she’d have to specify anyway. 
Signed,

Someone who always has to specify, lol

[TheReader]

I'm similar to you as far as what I name my own kids, but have adjusted to what I hear out in the world. 

For ex, one of my boys was originally intended to have the middle name Kendall, but more and more it was becoming a girls' name even back then (and almost entirely is that way now). We came up with something else instead. 

But on the flip side, we've got cousins, nieces, nephews, etc. with names I had previously associated with the opposite gender, and quite a few more with names that have been used for both so long that they're now gender-neutral names.  I more struggle with the "oh, is that a name?" kind of names (like when Gwyneth Paltrow named her kid Apple). 

[TheReader]

46 minutes ago, Quill said:

Well, as someone whose husband has a name which, while originally a male name, went to girls in the 60s/70s, I can tell you it’s often not ideal. I do think some/many kids struggle with having a name more widely known for the opposite gender. I think it’s more likely to be a problem for a guy with a name perceived as girly than for girls with more boyish names. For this reason, once a name starts being adopted for girls, fewer people choose it for boys. (For an example, think of the names Taylor, or Jordan. In the 80s/90s there was a lot of overlap but both these names were given increasingly often to girls, sometimes with changes supposedly making it girlish, like “Jordyn”. Now both these names are rarely given to boys.) 

I do not especially like intentional misspellings meant to “unique-ify” the name. Some are simply ugly written a different way, but my bigger issue would be the child forever having to “correct” people who spell their name wrong by spelling it right. Like, “Emma-Leigh” for Emily. Does poor Emma-Leigh really want to go through life spelling that out - with a hyphen! - when people invariably write it the traditional way? 

Yes, I soapbox on this issue. While of course it’s a free country, and yes people can name their kid whatever they like, I dislike when parents saddle their kids with a problematic name, just to be “Kre8tiv”. I think it’s wrong just like I think it’s wrong to put Coke in your toddler’s sippy cup. 

 

I should have read before I posted. So, yes to the 1st paragraph (see my post above; we opted out of a name just like that, for that reason). 

As for the 2nd paragraph, I had a roommate in college with a uniquely spelled name -- they mailed us out a thing with our roommate's name on it, but this was pre-email, cell phones, etc., and it was long distance, so I never called her. 

Her name was Alician --- but pronounced Allison.  So, I walk into our dorm room that first move-in day, cheerfully greet her "Hi, (phonetic pronunciation of her written name..)" only to have her reply with a steely stare, "it's Allison."  Oops.  we never did really get back onto the right foot, after such a wrong-footed start. 

[historically accurate]

8 hours ago, BakersDozen said:

I'm rather stuck on most boy/girl names being kept as just that. I twitch if I hear a girl named James or Ezra and can't get past the fact that I have yet to meet a boy named Hannah or Rachel. I guess I'm behind the times because when I call my little guy at a park (Felix) and a mom turns and says, "Oh, I named my daughter that!" and spells it out as "Phelix" I just feel kind of lost as to what to say. All I could do was blink.

I don't go for the my-kid-is-the-only-one-with-this-name thing so expect to meet a few here and there - in fact there is a 14yo who plays hockey named Felix which my kids think is really cool. But a girl "Phelix" threw me for a loop.

Guess I need to read up on trendy/modern baby names and get with the times.

This is a random post topic...sorry!





 

Couldn't you just say, "It is an awesome name, isn't it?" Funny story, but apparently, I have a popular 90s dog's name, and like every 5th person I met then would say, "Oh, that's my dog's name." when we met LOL. So that response is what I came up with when I kept getting told about people's dog.

I have a kid with a gender neutral name although it's a more common last name than first name. I also have  2 kids with made up names. It takes all kinds - the Emmas, the Johns, the male and female Taylors, as well as the Sofeeyahs and Aericks. I try not to get upset with what others name their kids, and I hope people don't get weird about my kid's names.

My hang-up is double names, John Johnson, Pete Peterson although that's not common these days,. I always thought their parents really should've put some more effort into naming.

I just ask kids now, "Can you spell your name for me, Sweetie?" whenever I have to write name tags or something.

Edited December 24, 2020 by historically accurate

[Sherry in OH]

One of my sons has a first name that ends with an 'a.'   Several times I've had people who should know better - camp administrators, medical personal, refer to him as she.  What is the point of requiring me to complete forms indicating gender if they are going to assume based on the last letter of his first name that he is a she?     

I could see the confusion if it were an unusual name, but it is a traditional male name.  

[1234]

Both of my dc renamed themselves (legally) because they hated their very gender specific names. I’m not mad about it either and hope we can all move away from caring so much about such things.

[I talk to the trees]

1 hour ago, Quill said:

Well, as someone whose husband has a name which, while originally a male name, went to girls in the 60s/70s, I can tell you it’s often not ideal. I do think some/many kids struggle with having a name more widely known for the opposite gender. I think it’s more likely to be a problem for a guy with a name perceived as girly than for girls with more boyish names. For this reason, once a name starts being adopted for girls, fewer people choose it for boys. (For an example, think of the names Taylor, or Jordan. In the 80s/90s there was a lot of overlap but both these names were given increasingly often to girls, sometimes with changes supposedly making it girlish, like “Jordyn”. Now both these names are rarely given to boys.) 

I do not especially like intentional misspellings meant to “unique-ify” the name. Some are simply ugly written a different way, but my bigger issue would be the child forever having to “correct” people who spell their name wrong by spelling it right. Like, “Emma-Leigh” for Emily. Does poor Emma-Leigh really want to go through life spelling that out - with a hyphen! - when people invariably write it the traditional way? 

Yes, I soapbox on this issue. While of course it’s a free country, and yes people can name their kid whatever they like, I dislike when parents saddle their kids with a problematic name, just to be “Kre8tiv”. I think it’s wrong just like I think it’s wrong to put Coke in your toddler’s sippy cup. 

 

Oh, my goodness! One of my cousins named her daughter Emma-leigh, and I always feel a bit sorry for the kid. My first and last names are both names that have multiple spellings,  so I often have to spell both to people, who somehow manage to get at least one of them wrong anyway, so I know how irritating that can be.

[Scarlett]

7 hours ago, MercyA said:

I'm with you, but to each their own, I guess! 

I feel like I can speak to this.....I have a very very boy name. It has never generally been a girl name.  I am not a fan.  And oddly  xh was given a name that girls eventually took over and he HATED it with a passion.  It was very difficult finding a name for our son that was unlikely to be used for girls.  

[elegantlion]

I tend to prefer gender neutral names - or names that can have nicknames which I know is another hot topic. My name is a feminized form of a male name - I don't like either version. 

One of my great grandfathers was named Lois - not Louis - Lois. 

There is such an ebb and flow of names - I remember in elementary school there was a boy named Shannon - then we moved and it seemed only girls were named Shannon.

When I'm reading history articles from the early 20th century, I sometimes run across the name issue, such as the male historian named Vivian. 

Reading or watching sci-fi/fantasy is the perfect place to work through constructed or non-traditional names. 

 

[Kassia]

One of my sons has a gender neutral name that has become much more common for females since we named him many years ago.  I didn't know it was a gender neutral name when we named him or I probably would have insisted on something else (it was the only name DH and I could agree on and I've never been crazy about it). My daughter has a gender neutral name that is mostly used for females and I think most people assume it's a female when they see her name.  

 

[historically accurate]

This reminds me when I was working way back when, I used to do the commission calculations for the sales team. Whenever I was training someone I would tell them that oh, yeah, Laurie is a male and Kevin is a female. Just so you know for when they call to yell at you. Which they did, often - their commission pay calculation was uber complicated at that place.

[Just Kate]

1 hour ago, historically accurate said:

Couldn't you just say, "It is an awesome name, isn't it?" Funny story, but apparently, I have a popular 90s dog's name, and like every 5th person I met then would say, "Oh, that's my dog's name." when we met LOL. So that response is what I came up with when I kept getting told about people's dog.

I have a kid with a gender neutral name although it's a more common last name than first name. I also have  2 kids with made up names. It takes all kinds - the Emmas, the Johns, the male and female Taylors, as well as the Sofeeyahs and Aericks. I try not to get upset with what others name their kids, and I hope people don't get weird about my kid's names.

My hang-up is double names, John Johnson, Pete Peterson although that's not common these days,. I always thought their parents really should've put some more effort into naming.

I just ask kids now, "Can you spell your name for me, Sweetie?" whenever I have to write name tags or something.

My dh goes by a nickname that is part of our last name (for example, if our last name was Wilson, dh nickname would be Will - so Will Wilson). We met in college and I didn’t think anything of it. But when we got married and he started his career, it drove me crazy. For a while, he went by his given first name, which is such a nice name. But it just stopped, so he continues to go by his nickname. I wonder if others are the same?

[kokotg]

I was a little nervous about the names turning into exclusively girl names thing. I have an Ari and an August...both are sometimes used for girls, but I think both are also uncommon enough in general (although August has shot up in the rankings since we used it) that they won't ever really become established as "girl names." It also seems like the old truism that once a name is used for girls it becomes exclusively female seems to be changing along with attitudes toward gender? Elliot is one that comes to mind....it's on the charts for both boys and girls (didn't appear on the girl chart until 2011), but the popularity for boys has increased right along with girls. And then in Elliot's case it's a surname that was appropriated as a first name, so there's no reason for it have been a "boy name" to start with anyway. 

[Katy]

My kids all have quirky nicknames that could be gender neutral for the most part, but very gendered traditional legal names. Biblical & Royal sorts of traditional names, spelled the most common traditional way in the US. This is a long family tradition on both sides; we coincidentally can find people with the same names on both sides of the family tree.  
 

I’ve never called to make or confirm an appointment and not had to confirm gender and either spell names out for a younger clerk or say “spelled traditionally” for the older ones. It’s as if a whole generation of parents were told they’re unique and special so many times they rejected just giving kids a recognizable name with a common spelling. 

[Ali in OR]

I ended up having only girls, so my big complaint about this never happened to me personally. But when I was having babies and thinking up baby names, there were always millions of names for girls and about 10 for boys, and then creative moms kept stealing the boy names for their daughters. I'm firmly in the camp of leaving boy names for boys! Girls don't need to be taking Cameron, Charlie, even George when there are so few choices that are just for boys. And I realize some prefer that gender-neutral void for everyone, but I always wanted a boy name if I had a boy baby. My boy name was Matthew for all 3 of my pregnancies, but I hated that it was a top-10 name for boys at the time. It just seemed like there were so few names for boys to pick from. Guess it's a good thing I had girls!

And on creative spellings--I just ask that you follow the rules of phonics. Don't spell your name Chynna if you want it pronounced like the country. That double n will shorten the vowel sound for me every time. And Jacey  or Jaci rhymes with Lacey. If you want me to pronounce it like "Jackie", spell it differently.

[KungFuPanda]

These conversations make me think of Fleetwood Mac. 🤣

[Lady Florida.]

9 hours ago, Farrar said:

 

I like gender ambiguous names. It bugs me a bit that they mostly go one direction, but it's not like it's a new phenomenon. Ashley, Francis, Lauren, many others crossed over eons ago. As more girls were given these names, parents stopped naming boys those names. Like if Felix becomes a popular female name, will parents stop giving it to baby boys? Probably, given historical trends. 

 

Leslie is another one that comes to mind. Though it's an old fashioned name now and you rarely meet anyone under 45 named Leslie, it crossed over. Bob Hope's given name was Leslie. And that scion of masculinity for the Greatest Generation, John Wayne, was named Marion. 

I don't mind names that are used for both boys and girls. When I was growing up Kerry was a boys name and was very Irish. I have a male cousin on my father's Irish side of the family named Kerry.  My son has a definitely male name that hasn't been used for each gender but it's also old fashioned. And it has a female variant. He's named after my father and we gave him the common middle name of Michael in case he was unhappy with his uncommon old guy name when he grew up. He's fine with his name though. And in the 1970's my stepbrother and his wife named their daughter Michael Ann, so even that name has been used both ways for some time. 

16 minutes ago, Ali in OR said:

Girls don't need to be taking Cameron, Charlie, even George when there are so few choices that are just for boys.

I've seen Cameron used for both boys and girls for some time. As for the others there's Charlie for Charlotte or Charlene and George/Georgie for Georgeann or Georgette. I know you meant people are using the nicknames as full names but there have been girls called by those names for some time now. 

17 minutes ago, Ali in OR said:

But when I was having babies and thinking up baby names, there were always millions of names for girls and about 10 for boys,

LOL. We came up with a boy's name right away though his middle name took time. We were having a hard time coming up with a girl's name we both agreed on so when the ultrasound showed a definite, no questions male baby we breathed a sigh of relief. We had hoped to later have a girl but I ended up not being able to have any more children. I still know the names I would have chosen though. So far, none have become male names. 

[MercyA]

55 minutes ago, Ali in OR said:

 But when I was having babies and thinking up baby names, there were always millions of names for girls and about 10 for boys

Right?!? There were only two boy names I even remotely liked (both Old Testament prophets!).

[theelfqueen]

My middle son has a gender neutral name, that also has a rising popularity female variant spelling.

We've only met one other boy with his name - weirdly at a wrestling meet in a tiny rural town and they wrestled each other! We had to cheer them on by their last names. 

My oldest son has a traditional Irish name with a traditional spelling that everyone pronounces WRONG.  XH wanted to use a Gaelic spelling for middle son and I objected. 

[MEmama]

I have come to the conclusion that your name could be Mary Smith and people would still spell it incorrectly. (in fact I had a good friend with a similar name and she had to swear every time she met someone that that yes, it really is her name. So even she couldn’t win the name game)
 

Our last name is soooo common, but I have to spell it and correct pronunciation every.single.time. Everyone wants to spell my very traditional, totally common given name incorrectly and “creatively”, it’s not a new thing at all. I’ve been correcting people for almost 50 years.

 

[marbel]

My maiden name is of Germanic origin. I went to high school in a largely Hispanic area, and on quick glance it could look like a couple of very common Hispanic surnames. So my last name was mispronounced in school a lot, even though it is very short and simple (though not common). 

As the world becomes smaller, with more businesses being worldwide and people moving around, we should probably all get used to spelling names, because even without the US (as far as I know) trend of kre8tiv (thanks Quill!) spelling, there are a lot of names out there that are not necessarily pronounced the way we might expect. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

My husband's name is unknown in this country.    We introduce him as "Billiam, like William but starting with a B"  (not his name!) His name is similar to a traditionally female name though and he has a high voice for a man.  The high voice causes him all sorts of "problems" on the phone.  He's gotten used to being called "ma'am". 

[athena1277]

When I was teaching, right out of college, I met a female student and her mother at open house.  The girl’s name was Michael.  The mom explained that she’s named for the archangel Michael because “we really don’t know if it’s a boy or girl.”  I was quite surprised by the explanation.  I know I didn’t not have the life experience to not show it on my face.  The poor girl (an 8th grader) seemed a bit embarrassed by it herself.  

[EKS]

5 hours ago, maize said:

Seems to me to reinforce the masculine=superior thought pattern.

I don't think it's reinforcing it as much as it is reflecting it.

[Ali in OR]

13 minutes ago, marbel said:

As the world becomes smaller, with more businesses being worldwide and people moving around, we should probably all get used to spelling names, because even without the US (as far as I know) trend of kre8tiv (thanks Quill!) spelling, there are a lot of names out there that are not necessarily pronounced the way we might expect. 

This is so true. I learned early on in my teaching career that though I pronounce my nickname Ali like alley, if there is a male student in my class with that name, it is more likely pronounced like Muhammad Ali's pronunciation. And even having grown up in a largely hispanic area, I have anglicized too many names of Latina students. Like Angelica with the g as a j sound instead of an h. Damaris with the accent on the second syllable instead of the last. This year Dallana with an L sound instead of a Y. As a teacher, my preferred mode is to ask each student to say their name before I ever say it (as an educational assistant, I don't have the lesson control to see this happen, and online has been even harder). When my dd accepted her university, part of the registration process in spring involved recording herself saying her name--we need a way to do this at the high school level! Like hover over the student's name in the online gradebook/attendance roster and hear them say their preferred name.

[Jean in Newcastle]

28 minutes ago, athena1277 said:

When I was teaching, right out of college, I met a female student and her mother at open house.  The girl’s name was Michael.  The mom explained that she’s named for the archangel Michael because “we really don’t know if it’s a boy or girl.”  I was quite surprised by the explanation.  I know I didn’t not have the life experience to not show it on my face.  The poor girl (an 8th grader) seemed a bit embarrassed by it herself.  

Michael Learned (the mother on The Waltons) was born in 1939

[Guest]

6 hours ago, TheReader said:

I should have read before I posted. So, yes to the 1st paragraph (see my post above; we opted out of a name just like that, for that reason). 

As for the 2nd paragraph, I had a roommate in college with a uniquely spelled name -- they mailed us out a thing with our roommate's name on it, but this was pre-email, cell phones, etc., and it was long distance, so I never called her. 

Her name was Alician --- but pronounced Allison.  So, I walk into our dorm room that first move-in day, cheerfully greet her "Hi, (phonetic pronunciation of her written name..)" only to have her reply with a steely stare, "it's Allison."  Oops.  we never did really get back onto the right foot, after such a wrong-footed start. 

Yeah, that what bugs me, when the person corrects me humorlessly because I didn’t somehow divine their “uneeke” spelling. I would totally think that was “Ah-Lees-i-en” or “Ah-leesh-in”. At least give a good-humored chuckle and say, “Yeah, a lot of people make that mistake but it’s Allison. My parents didn’t learn phonics I guess.” I have known people who were good-natured about it, but I have also met the opposite. 

[Guest]

2 hours ago, athena1277 said:

When I was teaching, right out of college, I met a female student and her mother at open house.  The girl’s name was Michael.  The mom explained that she’s named for the archangel Michael because “we really don’t know if it’s a boy or girl.”  I was quite surprised by the explanation.  I know I didn’t not have the life experience to not show it on my face.  The poor girl (an 8th grader) seemed a bit embarrassed by it herself.  

There was a female Michael when I went to college. And yes, she was constantly followed by confused murmurings...”Did they say, ‘Michael???’” I thought it was a lot to be saddled with. 

[Guest]

2 hours ago, marbel said:

My maiden name is of Germanic origin. I went to high school in a largely Hispanic area, and on quick glance it could look like a couple of very common Hispanic surnames. So my last name was mispronounced in school a lot, even though it is very short and simple (though not common). 

As the world becomes smaller, with more businesses being worldwide and people moving around, we should probably all get used to spelling names, because even without the US (as far as I know) trend of kre8tiv (thanks Quill!) spelling, there are a lot of names out there that are not necessarily pronounced the way we might expect. 

I don’t think it’s too terrible to have to spell a name - two of my kids spell their names even though the spellings are perfectly standard - but I do think it’s better not to be intentionally confusing when you can simply be clear instead. 

I just met a young guy with a name I have only heard for girls, but with a “masculinized” spelling. (Imagine if the name is Julie, but spelled “Jeweley”.) I think it’s....pretty unfortunate. I almost want to ask his parents why they thought this was a good idea, lol. Did they already have five sons and just figured they’re never getting a girl to give this most-favorite name of theirs? Did they just think people would never realize it’s the same name as all the millions of girls with that name? Did they just not have a good grasp of spelling? 🤷🏻‍♀️

[HS Mom in NC]

I went to high school with a girl named Gregory. She went by Gregory and Greg.

I had friends is Jr. and Sr. High named Matt and Fernando that went by Matty and Fernie.

There's a mom at our homeschool group named Mykal (pronounced the same as Michael) like one of King David's wives in the Bible.

A former pastor's wife is one of 5 daughters with what were typically male names:  Toni, Bobbi, Billie, Jo, and I forget the other one.  Dad wanted a son and never got one, but we all knew that reading the list.

In AZ my midwife's son was legally named Ariel after Ariel Sharon, a very masculine name in Israel...until The Little Mermaid came out when midwife's son was about to go into Jr. High, at which point she let him legally change it to Ari.

[JennyD]

34 minutes ago, Homeschool Mom in AZ said:

There's a mom at our homeschool group named Mykal (pronounced the same as Michael) like one of King David's wives in the Bible.

 

That name is a fairly common Israeli girls' name, although I think it's more common among women of my generation than it is for new babies these days.  Israelis anglicize it as Michal, and the Hebrew pronunciation is "mee-hal," with a gutteral "h" sound.   

DH was genuinely stunned to learn the other day that friends have named their new daughter James.  I don't know how it is possible that he was previously unaware of this trend but apparently he has been in a cave for the last 15 years.

Edited December 24, 2020 by JennyD

[JennyD]

35 minutes ago, Homeschool Mom in AZ said:

In AZ my midwife's son was legally named Ariel after Ariel Sharon, a very masculine name in Israel..

Also meant to add that in contemporary Israel Ariel is a name for both girls and boys.  Maybe leaning a bit more towards boy but you definitely wouldn't assume an Ariel was male.  Gender-neutral names, often just one or two syllables--Tal, Stav, Adi, Bar -- are quite popular among Jewish Israelis, and they're not just boy names being used for girls, as in the US.  

Edited December 24, 2020 by JennyD

[Ditto]

I really like some masculine names for girls.   I do not like gender neutral names for boys, but do like them for girls.  I also like different and sort of odd names.   When Gwyneth Paltrow named her daughter Apple, people seemed quite judgy over it.  But I thought it was adorable.   I also think James for a girl is sweet. 

[Lori D.]

re: names
I just smile and nod, and enjoy the child for who they are, and try not to cringe or worry about what sometimes seems like to me to be a mis-naming. Trying to see it from the other side, I'm sure there are tons of things I choose or do that seem like a total mis-step or crazy to other people. 😉 
 

However, since people are sharing opinions on names, I'll throw in my long-winded musings... 😉

JMO: I am old / old-fashioned. Plus I am 100% female in my physical/emotional/spiritual make-up, so the thought of naming a girl "James" or "Elliot" rather horrifies me. I know that it would have been very damaging to me as a child -- I would have been in tears all the time thinking my parents hated me and my clearly female nature to saddle me what is clearly a boy's name. (ex.: I longed for the name "Susie" when I was a little girl because it seemed like the most girl-y name that existed, LOL.)

As a Christian, I see a God-given power in words and in naming. In Genesis, God creates by naming; Jesus the Savior is The Word; Adam's first job was to name all of the animals; every time someone's fundamental nature or calling changed, God changed their name to reflect their new nature and calling (Old Testament ex.: Abram --> Abraham; New Testament ex.: Simon --> Peter). In Revelation, God promises to give, in eternity, a new name to those who hold fast to their faith in Christ. Names clearly have power and spiritual meaning! 😄 

When our DSs were born, we spent a lot of time praying and asking the Lord to show us who each of them was as a person, and to guide us to names that would best fit each and reflect personality and nature. Two for two here 😄 -- so, thank you, Lord!

For millenia, people around the world have held that there is a power in names, and that in naming a child, there is an element of blessing the child or placing a hope/wish for the child and their future/destiny through the name. Literature is full of examples of the idea of words and names having power, even magic, and that names reveal true self.

Again, JMO, I think our Western society has lost much of this richness and meaning -- and privilege and honor -- that goes into naming a chid. To understand that naming can be as powerful as expressing hope for a path for the child's future, or imbuing the child with blessing. Instead, it seems like a lot of parents might be seeing their newborn child almost like as an "accessory" (sort of like the "purse dogs", ugh), and that giving the child a unique name (or unique spelling of a name) is an exciting style/fashion statement and that it reflects well on the parent's OWN style/creativity (or boosts their "likes", LOL) -- instead of realizing this baby is a unique human being who will grow up and be blessed by (or suffer through) the name. (And NO, I am NOT implying that poor or thoughtless child-naming is the cause of crime or other societal ills, LOL!)

A few real-life extreme examples that my sister ran across in her son's elementary school when she was living in the SE part of the U.S., that I can't help but feel pain for the children:

Lemonjello (pronounced: leh-MON-gell-oh)
Orangejello (pronounced: ore-AHN-gell-oh)
Shitthead (pronounced: sheh-THEED)
Meconium -- mom named the baby based on the sound (meh-CONE-ee-um), without knowing the meaning (newborn's first feces)

Edited December 24, 2020 by Lori D.

[rebcoola]

My pet peeve is definitely uniquely spelled names.  Especially a common name spelled oddly.   I have kids with uncommon names that I don't expect people to know but that's different than spelling Rabeckah (Rebecca) of Geccy (Jessie)

[Anne]

1 hour ago, JennyD said:

That name is a fairly common Israeli girls' name, although I think it's more common among women of my generation than it is for new babies these days.  Israelis anglicize it as Michal, and the Hebrew pronunciation is "mee-hal," with a gutteral "h" sound.   

DH was genuinely stunned to learn the other day that friends have named their new daughter James.  I don't know how it is possible that he was previously unaware of this trend but apparently he has been in a cave for the last 15 years.

I guess I’ve been living in the same cave b/c I’ve never heard of this either.  Gender neutral is one thing, but I just don’t understand giving a girl a name that is clearly a boy’s name.....  Or vice versa...

Anne