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Is this a thing? My ds (12 with ASD2) goes to town on outings and he likes to take a wallet, maybe a baggie with medication, a snack bar. Is it a thing for guys to carry a man purse, maybe worn like a messenger bag? He's trying to carry his wallet in his pocket, but I don't know if it could fall out. He usually just gives it to the adult he's with, but I was thinking it would be nice if he could be more independent. What is normal for this?

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One of my boys travels with a man bag. He has a variety of options--backpack, messenger bag, string bag, and a waist pack.  He has to travel with epipens, inhalers, snacks, and other things just for his daily life.

FWIW, on the high school and university campuses, backpacks are the most popular option.....Nike string bags for high schoolers with light loads, and backpacks for everybody else. Black is the most popular color. 

If he is prone to losing things, I would go backpack, with a dedicated pocket for his wallet and phone. He may not have a phone yet, but he likely will in the future, and not having to switch bags is good.

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Sure. A backpack, messenger bag or string bag all work and are common. 

But can we do away with the gendering? Women carry bags, men carry bags, non binary people carry bags...can we just call them bags? 

Edited by MEmama
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My husband will carry a messenger bag or backpack when he has more gear to haul. But another thing he uses at times when working out or going for  hike and just needs a spot for small wallet and keys and phone is like a running belt.   They tend to be lower profile than a full on fanny pack.  I actually have a couple too I use for walking.  

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1 hour ago, prairiewindmomma said:

If he is prone to losing things, I would go backpack, with a dedicated pocket for his wallet and phone. He may not have a phone yet, but he likely will in the future, and not having to switch bags is good.

Oh that's a really good point about dedicated pockets!!

38 minutes ago, Carolina Wren said:

Why not cargo pants?

Yes!! I mentioned that to him as an option. That's just not what he happens to wear right now and won't be wearing for a while as I just bought his new round (next size up) of pants, lol. But I agree, that would be a really smart option.

37 minutes ago, FuzzyCatz said:

a messenger bag or backpack

Yeah, I think what I had in my mind was a small messenger back. I'm seeing sling backpacks that could work too. Hadn't heard of a running belt, but I'll keep that in the back of my mind for the right occasion!

37 minutes ago, Thatboyofmine said:

Timbuk2 has some nice gender-neutral bags of different types that are cool for kids (or adults) who think the cool factor is important.   

Thank you, yes that's kind of important that it look like something that is normal to carry. 

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48 minutes ago, Thatboyofmine said:

Timbuk2 has some nice gender-neutral bags of different types that are cool for kids (or adults) who think the cool factor is important.   

Ok, I'm digging around here and definitely finding things that were in the vein of what I was thinking. 

https://www.timbuk2.com/products/1107-micro-classic-messenger-bag  

I'll keep looking. These are very fuctional, trim, not bulky. 

https://www.timbuk2.com/products/1070-agent-crossbody-bag  

Edited by PeterPan
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If you think he will be taking public transport sometime in the future, I'd consider what happens if the bag is tipped over. I'd also consider how theft proof the bag is. I don't buy velcro closure bags for my boys for that reason.  

You might consider something like the PacSafe series. 

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Just now, prairiewindmomma said:

If you think he will be taking public transport sometime in the future, I'd consider what happens if the bag is tipped over. I'd also consider how theft proof the bag is. I don't buy velcro closure bags for my boys for that reason.  

You might consider something like the PacSafe series. 

Hmm, those are really good questions. I think for starters I'm going to go with this Agent Crossbody Bag from Timbuk2. It solves the immediate problem (shopping, town outings where he needs to carry small amounts of stuff) without being too complex. I think if he has more involved needs or a bigger bag, it's ok to buy a different one later. It says it has zippers and a way to lock it through a bicycle thing, dunno. But you're right, one of the bags from them sealed with velcro. I'm thinking for now this zip top bag is tidier. 

 

3 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

You might consider something like the PacSafe series. 

Ooo, those are nice! Well let me look through there. I'm definitely thinking the $40 is as high as I want to go to start. I'll give it to him for Christmas but I don't want us keeling over if he loses it in a store or something, lol. 

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5 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

the PacSafe series.

Ok, they have something similar https://pacsafe.com/collections/crossbody-bags/products/metrosafe-x-anti-theft-crossbody-pouch?variant=31054843314285  to the Agent Crossbody, but the AC from Timbuk2 is more urban. I think it would be more stylish for him with about the same function. 

Well good. I think I'm gonna go ahead and get this ordered!

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Just now, Thatboyofmine said:

Woohoo!!  Hope he likes it!   I think they look really cool, especially for the younger set.  

Yes, that's it's exactly it. The bag is so hip that the question is not why he's carrying a bag but where they can get one. :biggrin:

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3 minutes ago, kristin0713 said:

My 12yo DS uses this bag.  He got it in Disney.  (He just said "It's the best bag in the world" 😊)

https://www.magicalearscollectibles.com/Disney-Sling-Backpack--Star-Wars-Logo_p_18408.html 

 

Ooo, I agree that's a very nice bag!!! Maybe someday I'll get back to Disney to get us one. :biggrin:

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One thing to keep in mind is that a fair number of stores either make you check your backpack, or they just don't let you in with it. 

3 hours ago, MEmama said:

But can we do away with the gendering? Women carry bags, men carry bags, non binary people carry bags...can we just call them bags? 

While we're at it, can we do away with the idea that women are the only ones who need to carry stuff around, lol?

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2 hours ago, katilac said:

One thing to keep in mind is that a fair number of stores either make you check your backpack, or they just don't let you in with it. 

In the US? I am used to this in some other countries but have never ever ever seen this in the US. Huh. What kind of stores?

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3 hours ago, katilac said:

One thing to keep in mind is that a fair number of stores either make you check your backpack, or they just don't let you in with it. 

Yes, we're in an area with crackdowns like this. The library even has size limits on your bags. If you come into our grocery stores in a backpack the are watching you, especially if you do anything odd like going in and out. I think something slim that doesn't look like it would be used for shiplifting is much more ideal. 

35 minutes ago, bibiche said:

In the US? I am used to this in some other countries but have never ever ever seen this in the US. Huh. What kind of stores?

Our library has posted signs and I've overheard the grocery manager and cashiers talking about people coming in with backpacks. I think given that I'm not wanting to attract attention to my ds and that this is specifically for shopping and restaurants, something slim is way better. 

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My son uses a small messenger bag that is about the size and orientation of a large paperback book with a crossbody strap.    He likes that he can get things out without taking it off, unlike a backpack.   I like sling bags for the same reason, I can just swing it around to the front and take things out.  

I use purses that are sometimes huge, or backpack like and don't usually have any problem in stores but I could see it being an issue with a very large backpack.  It wouldn't be unusual to see a large backpack at the library since people come to work, but it would be pretty unusual to see someone come into a grocery store or Walmart with a full size backpack. 

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20 minutes ago, Wheres Toto said:

My son uses a small messenger bag that is about the size and orientation of a large paperback book with a crossbody strap. 

Oh good, then I'm not crazy! My dd said she saw a lot of guys in college doing this. I think it's becoming more common. And we were realizing the potential, because he could throw in a fidget, a tool for nonverbal communication, etc.

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1 hour ago, elegantlion said:

Tom Bihn is another company to check out. Depending on the size of his wallet, you might look at the small cafe bag, the everyday cubelet, or side effect or side kick. https://www.tombihn.com/products/side-kick?_pos=21&_sid=de091ee21&_ss=r&variant=33871387847

I'll second Tom Bihn. I have the everyday cubelet, the side kick, and the medium cafe bag. Extremely well made, I take the medium cafe bag when travelling, and put the everyday cubelet in it as usually the cubelet is all I need right now. 

I have been looking at the small cafe bag too. Because we can all use more bags!

 

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3 hours ago, elegantlion said:

Tom Bihn is another company to check out. Depending on the size of his wallet, you might look at the small cafe bag, the everyday cubelet, or side effect or side kick. https://www.tombihn.com/products/side-kick?_pos=21&_sid=de091ee21&_ss=r&variant=33871387847

Ooo, I like that a LOT for him. Well the other is ordered. But yeah, really great option. I hate to even compare them at this point, since the other is ordered, lol.

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18 hours ago, katilac said:

One thing to keep in mind is that a fair number of stores either make you check your backpack, or they just don't let you in with it. 

 

15 hours ago, bibiche said:

In the US? I am used to this in some other countries but have never ever ever seen this in the US. Huh. What kind of stores?

 

14 hours ago, PeterPan said:

Yes, we're in an area with crackdowns like this. The library even has size limits on your bags. If you come into our grocery stores in a backpack the are watching you, especially if you do anything odd like going in and out. I think something slim that doesn't look like it would be used for shoplifting is much more ideal. 

Our library has posted signs and I've overheard the grocery manager and cashiers talking about people coming in with backpacks. 

The stores allow me to carry my backpack but they will stop my husband even though his backpack is similar size to mine. My tote is larger than his laptop backpack 🙃

My husband uses a Tumi sling bag that has a compartment for an iPad mini. That bag used to be mine and I carried my iPad mini, continental wallet, mints, inhaler, WiFi hotspot in it. 

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21 hours ago, bibiche said:

In the US? I am used to this in some other countries but have never ever ever seen this in the US. Huh. What kind of stores?

It could be any kind of store, it just depends on their policy. Some stores ban them because people forget about them on their back and knock everything over, and some stores ban them to inhibit shoplifting. Or both, I'm sure. 

I have been in stores that banned backpacks, totes, and 'big' bags, but backpacks are the most common ime. 

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