Just a bad day

[Mrs Tiggywinkle]

I might delete this. Or not. 

I found a therapist I really connect with.  It’s through my EAP so I only get eight sessions.  
I am having a really hard day.  Like....hard. It’s a not very nice memory anniversary day, plus a really difficult neuro cognitive report on DS5, the house is a mess, I still have one more paper to write, and I’m exhausted but not sleeping.  Work is so busy with emergency calls and really sick and dead people. I feel like I’ve hit bottom and broken apart. 
 

I am not saying I’d jump in front of a train, but if I was standing on the tracks and one was coming, I wouldn’t move away. 

I could reach out to my therapist and ask for an extra session this week. But I don’t want to seem needy and don’t want to use an extra session if I don’t need to. I’m new at connecting with a therapist long enough to ask for something like this. 

I’ll probably delete this. Just a bad day.

 

[Spryte]

I’m sorry.  Some days are bad days. 

 

I don’t think reaching out to your therapist is a bad idea at all.  It’s ok!

 

Hoping tomorrow is better.

 

sending hugs

Edited December 15, 2020 by Spryte

[brehon]

Call the therapist. That’s what they’re there for.

Call!

[hippymamato3]

Call. You are worth it.

[Harriet Vane]

Some days really suck. Better days will come, I promise.

[Innisfree]

(((Hugs)))

Call the therapist. "Seeming needy" isn't even in the ballpark. You're recovering from covid still, and working a highly stressful, vitally important job, and a dozen other stressors. You help others all the time; let the therapist help you.

I wish we could provide some help in person.

More hugs.

[happi duck]

Many hugs

[ScoutTN]

9 minutes ago, brehon said:

Call the therapist. That’s what they’re there for.

Call!

This! Do it!

Praying for you right now. 

Edited December 15, 2020 by ScoutTN

[freesia]

(((Hugs)))

Call. Definitely.

[saraha]

I’m so sorry. Seeming needy won’t even be on your therapists radar.

[Mrs Tiggywinkle]

Well...my hesitation is that she gave me her personal cell phone number since everything is remote and the office only checks the answering service once a day, and I don’t want to abuse that.

 

[brehon]

You won’t be abusing having her cell number. She wouldn’t have given it to you if she didn’t want you to use it.

Look, any one of your life stressors would be damn near overwhelming. You have multiple stressors happening at once. Please call!! 

Edited December 15, 2020 by brehon

[Lecka]

This would not be abusing having her cell number.  

There are things that would be abusing it -- this is not it at all.  

[saraha]

It maybe her cell number, but she is using it for work by conscious choice. If you would call her office, you can call her cell. She totally expects that

[Shoeless]

Things like this are exactly why a therapist gives out their number. They want you to call them in these situations. Please call!

[Scarlett]

4 minutes ago, MissLemon said:

Things like this are exactly why a therapist gives out their number. They want you to call them in these situations. Please call!

I agree.   Please call.

((((hugs))))

[regentrude]

I am sorry you are having a bad day.
Please call your therapist. You won't "seem needy" - you sound like you really need some help.
Hugs.

ETA: If you feel really uncomfortable calling her number, call the anonymous help line.
1-800-273-8255

Edited December 15, 2020 by regentrude

[scbusf]

This is exactly why she gave you her number. Please call her.

[Katy]

Call her!  If you weren't depressed you'd clearly see this is an appropriate time to call.

[Melissa in Australia]

Huge hugs

[Annie G]

Please call. It’s the advice you’d give us if we felt like you’re feeling.  Hugs- hope your week improves. 

[Junie]

Praying and sending hugs.

[Ditto]

Call her.  That is why she gave you her personal number.  Also, lots of hugs.  Some days are just super hard.  I'm glad you have a therapist you can call.  I hope tomorrow is easier.

[AmandaVT]

1 hour ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle said:

 

My husband is a therapist and gives out his number for exactly this reason. He wants his clients to text or call if they need him. Reaching out isn't needy, it's what they are there for. 💜

[Mrs Tiggywinkle]

I guess I feel like this isn’t a crisis, just a rough day:

A year ago today I caught my husband cheating. My youngest’s neuropsych report came today and is even worse than the school eval. I received a rejection yesterday from a job I was hoping for and had interviewed for. I am drowning with finals between Covid brain fog and everything else. I haven’t slept more than three hours a night in a week. My autistic son is off his Abilify and the county mental health provider is on vacation and didn’t call in a refill before she left so he’s all grouchy and difficult.

So, bad day, but not like crisis bad.

Maybe I will just email her.  I feel like personal cell numbers are emergency use. My husband said he’ll find the money to pay out of pocket once my EAP sessions are done but I still hesitate to use one more session just because I’m having a hard day.

(When I was a social worker I gave out my cell phone number to a select few who I knew would not abuse it, and was always happy to answer because I knew that meant they needed something. So I don’t know why I’m so hesitant.)

Edited December 15, 2020 by Mrs Tiggywinkle

[regentrude]

2 minutes ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle said:

I guess I feel like this isn’t a crisis, just a rough day:

In your OP, you describe the feeling of not moving off the tracks in front of the oncoming train, and I know exactly what you are talking about. That is such an utterly hopeless, drowning feeling, and you need help - even if you feel this doesn't reach crisis level. You are minimizing your pain and your needs.
Call. 

[almondbutterandjelly]

(hugs)  Call or email.  Just reach out, for sure.  

[klmama]

Please call. It's for situations like this that she gave you her number.

[cintinative]

I agree with regenetrude. Please don't assume that you are bothering her.  Counselors are trained to have good boundaries.  If she thinks you are okay, and you can put off your conversation until the next appt, she will tell you.  Please give her a chance to make that decision. Praying for you!

Edited December 15, 2020 by cintinative

[Katy]

You’re hesitant because you’re depressed and your perspective is off. This board is rarely unanimous about anything. Call your therapist. Or text if you feel it would be less intrusive. 

[PeterPan]

1 hour ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle said:

My autistic son is off his Abilify

Can someone else refill this for you? Doc? Someone? That's outrageous

[Mrs Tiggywinkle]

2 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

Can someone else refill this for you? Doc? Someone? That's outrageous

It’s so ridiculous. Everything is telehealth; they call or send a text with the link to the video.

I waited and waited when his appointment was scheduled and never got a call or a text.  I called the answering service and got nowhere.  The next morning I called and they said the provider had marked me as a no show so it was my fault.

Our primary doctor left a few months ago and I haven’t been able to get the kids a new pcp because our insurance won’t pay for a new physical until after December 31 since they had one this year.  It’s the same reason I’m off my Wellbutrin.

[mommyoffive]

You need to call.  You are worth it and it is not abusing the situation.  Please call.  

[Ausmumof3]

Reach out to your therapist today please.  If for no other reason than we really like having you here on this forum. of course there are many other good reasons but that’s one.  

[PeterPan]

So if they won't pay for the PCP for two more weeks, will they pay for urgent care or an ER? 

[Mrs Tiggywinkle]

10 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

So if they won't pay for the PCP for two more weeks, will they pay for urgent care or an ER? 

Neither will prescribe psych meds. If someone is in a psych crisis they’ll admit to inpatient and prescribe meds a from there but that’s all.

He’s definitely not in crisis, just super grouchy. I am heading towards crisis.

[Alicia64]

Call the therapist. He or she will feel needed (they want to be there for you).

W.

[Spryte]

It’s time to text or call your therapist.  You feel you’re heading toward crisis.  
 

Now is the time.

 

I’m so sorry it’s hard right now.

 

FWIW, on a personal, empathetic note: my GP gave me her private cell number years ago.  I, too, agonize over when things are bad enough to call or text her.  I hate bothering her.  But we have talked about it, and the whole point of giving me the number was so that I could reach out *before* the crisis became ER or hospital-worthy.  So, really, it sounds like now is the moment for you to make the call.  This is the whole reason she gave you her number. Please call her now, before you start telling yourself it’s too late in the day.

 

[Ausmumof3]

I really hope you were able to call today

[DawnM]

Did you have the therapist run the amount you would need to pay if you keep going after your free 8 sessions?    I have been going to a therapist since my mom died.   I used EAP and had 6 free.    She first ran my benefits and came up with a $100/session charge but then I called my insurance to double check and it is $25/session and I can have unlimited sessions.    I think it is well worth the $100/mo. for 4 sessions.

 

So, see if you can go more for a relatively minimal charge.

[Ottakee]

All of this is so frustrating.  I have been through most of the same situations, though not all at once like you.

I agree call the counselor.   It can be hard being the one asking for help vs being the helper you are all of the time.

On your son's paperwork.  I had that happen too.  I got a report with super low scores and not a lot of hope .   It took me time and grieving but it did not change who my child was or what they could do.   It DID though open more doors for services and an easy oath to disability.   So it was super hard to see in writing but the low tests ended up being helpful.....and the child has surpassed all expectations that test said they could do.

[Junie]

Praying for you that you have a good day today.

[Mrs Tiggywinkle]

I wound up emailing last night. It came back as undeliverable, so I emailed again to the same address and it went through today. She got me in tomorrow morning.

I live in small town USA and this therapist is actually my second cousin on both sides of my family.  But she’s the first one I’ve ever connected well with and once we realized who each other was(both of us use our married names and she just moved back after two decades away) we had a pretty decent therapeutic relationship.  But still had to jump through permission hoops.  I think based on that I’m even more hesitant to bother her, which is probably ridiculous.  I’m not thinking clearly and I recognize that.

I have an appointment tomorrow.

[mommyoffive]

Glad you reached out.   

Sending you lots of extra hugs.  

[Ditto]

I'm glad you reached out and she was able to get you in soon (though I'm sure tomorrow feels worlds away).  Continuing to think of you and send you lots of hugs.