Is your church/synagogue/corporate spiritual experience fulfilling?

[prairiewindmomma]

Many of us affiliate with some sort of corporate worship—we belong to a church or synagogue or other group which meets together.

How’s that working for you—especially in 2020? 

[prairiewindmomma]

Coming back to add...if your spiritual experience is your hiking group or service team or coven...that’s fine too....pick the most inclusive I could have used to mean meeting with someone other than yourself and immediate family and know you are welcome to join in. 🙂

[Lecka]

Not very.  

My daughter has been doing Zoom youth group and says she likes it better because it is a smaller group and she just likes it better.  My older son refused to have anything to do with Zoom youth group.  

The church decided to shut down their building to any indoor activities about 3 weeks ago, when cases started going up here.  Before I was taking two kids to youth group.

We moved over the summer and -- haven't done anything in-person for adults.  This is my mom's church, and I have attended as a guest while visiting (in years past) and know we plan to attend there, but since we have lived here the in-person has been by reservation only to limit numbers and they basically say it's for people who are very isolated and really need to be able to attend in-person.  

[Lecka]

The church we moved from started having limited-number services two weeks after we moved.  I am really sad we missed it 😞

It's okay -- but just too bad we missed it.  

We saw the pastor and spouse, and my kids' Sunday School teacher, before we left, but missed seeing everyone else.  

[saraha]

We had just started attending a church after being out of church for a year after leaving the church we attended for 13 years. In the spring we stopped attending because we were the only people there under 65 and although they were socially distanced because of sparse attendance they were not asking people to mask. We watched a few online sermons, but it just didn’t do it for us. Then I took issue with some of his posts on Facebook, so we are back to no church, which makes me sad. 
wow that was long and convoluted 

[Ditto]

Since moving everything online, it isn't fulfilling at all.  I don't like virtual events and services.  I have stopped even watching.  It just makes me profoundly sad that we can't safely gather in person.   I am very thankful that our pastors have been taking all precautions and not allowing in person worship because it simply isn't safe.   However, from a spiritual standpoint, I am drowning without that weekly worship.  I so wish that I was a person that could get something, anything, from online worship, but I can't.  So I stopped fighting it.  

[Plagefille]

Normally, yes. Not this year though. Most things (mid week youth activities, Sunday School classes, etc) are virtual. And while virtual is better than nothing, it is not the same. Our main Sunday meeting is in-person and virtual (they have asked us to switch off to keep in-person numbers low). So even on the weeks we go in person, we are spread out, wearing masks, and asked to not hang out and socialize. I just feel disconnected from everyone. Also, Zoom Sunday School is awkward at times and I am just not getting out if it what I used to. Maybe I need to be doing better and putting in more of an effort.

[73349]

We are online-only since March. I miss greeting people in person and trying to learn more names and get to know people. (I only joined in November of 2019.)

However, what I've always needed most from church is a challenging sermon, and that is still really great nearly every week. (I'm prone to inertia and need nudging; this ongoing support has encouraged me enough that I have helped/served/donated over 100 times this year, despite being sick a lot.) These pastors can preach.

[rebcoola]

I was really enjoying what they did when the whole church had to zoom.  Now that everyone is meeting in person except for a handful of us it's really lackluster.  It's just watching a video of a sermon basically.  No one has been wanting to do safe things with us.  When they can do normals things with 90% of the group.

[PrincessMommy]

Similar to what others have said, yes and no.  I am so glad to be able to go to church in person.  But, I miss so many people who can't or won't go to church right now.  I can't wait to see them again.

We used to chat a bit outside after church when the weather was warm.  

Our parish has a Zoom coffee hour after services, but it is awful and I stopped going in April or May. 

We do have our women's prayer group that meets 2x per month.  1st part of the month it is hybrid with both online and in-person.  The 2nd time in the month it is all online.  That's mainly because I'm the person who set up the hybrid and I don't always want to go to the 2nd prayer meeting in the month.   But, those small meetings are nice,  even if it is the same people over and over. 

[MoyaPechal]

It was really hard when things were virtual, but now that we can meet in person it's better. I really miss everyone who doesn't feel safe enough to come and is still watching from home, though. It makes me sad every Sunday. I definitely do still find it fulfilling to worship together and receive communion, but it's not as joyful when only 45 people can attend instead of 200+.

[WoolC]

Yes and no.  Our church started meeting in person again over the summer, with limited numbers attending (1/4 our capacity), masking, and distancing.  Being able to receive the Eucharist again is very fulfilling (no contact in how we’ve been doing communion, very different from our old way).  I can’t really describe how awful things were when communion was impossible for months on end.  

Fellowship is still lacking at our church.  We leave one row/family at a time from the sanctuary each week.  I dropped off some gifts for the Angel tree last Saturday, they collected outside and I spoke to 2 friends from church face to face (still masked) and it was the first time I have spoken to anyone in person outside of my parents and dentist since March.  I literally cried as I realized this.  It’s almost worse to remember what we’re all missing.

[PeterPan]

I was just getting used to our new church and covid hit. I think the virus issues have exposed some of their weaknesses. But, as my friend put it, only God doesn't let you down. The church will let you down. So we'll see.

[kbutton]

8 hours ago, rebcoola said:

I was really enjoying what they did when the whole church had to zoom.  Now that everyone is meeting in person except for a handful of us it's really lackluster.  It's just watching a video of a sermon basically.  No one has been wanting to do safe things with us.  When they can do normals things with 90% of the group.

This is pretty close to our experience, but we’ve never had any Zoom offerings. 

It’s become strikingly clear that we will be out of touch when this is all over, and I think it’s going to be more than awkward.

I think the church thinks it’s doing enough, but it really doesn’t understand that those of us who are being careful would like to be included meaningfully, not only as if we’re listening in. Even at that, we aren’t getting recordings of live sermons—we get recorded sermons with no audience, so it seems even stranger and more artificial. We’d like to serve, safely, but service opportunities labeled as distanced and masks are not! We’ve seen pics and witnessed this firsthand. It’s really disingenuous after a while. 

[frogger]

It has been difficult. We attended all summer and just quit a couple weeks before Thanksgiving. They are meeting in person and singing but they are trying to get people to follow mandates. They live Zoom and they are aware of us zoomers. During prayer time they pass the mic.  so we can hear too and we can type in our requests and someone will pray.

I know someone who has been isolated since spring so when I found out she would walk outside, I went to visit. Hope to do that again many times. Really, I'm a big believer in being the change you want. 

 

I started my own study via Zoom and had 4 others show up. What I really want though is to give a few people real hugs. 😁 But Zoom bible studies are encouraging. 

[ScoutTN]

We had many Zoom groups during the spring. Ours was small, highly participatory, and fun. People logged on early and stayed late to visit and chat. The pastor's sermon was recorded. Singing was pretty lame (even though my Dh and kids are good singers) and the audio lags in Zoom could be frustrating.  All in all, it was ok.

In the summer, live services restarted and many Zoom groups, including ours, fell apart.   We went back to live church. They are serious about safety protocals and there has been zero transmission. 

In the fall, they replaced Zoom with livestream. Way easier for the pastors, but no personal connection. TOTAL dud for my family. We still go in person. 

Yes, OP, our worship services are fulfilling. Though I dislike our current music director and hope he goes away. My family is in a season of extremely high stress and relational struggle. We MUST be in worship, if it is in any way possible.

My church has done reasonably well keeping in touch with people. Big, liturgical. evangelical church. I have close friends who call, email, visit outside etc. We have had many smaller group activities and Bible studies, offered for all ages, both Zoom and live outside, through the summer and fall.  Elders and deacons on shepherding teams keep in touch with their "flocks". The elders make sure those at home receive communion, though not every week, as we have it in the service. With the high covid numbers and winter weather, only worship is happening now. Everything else is digital. Expect this to be the case throughout Jan and Feb. 

I don't feel unconnected to church friends with whom I already had close relationships, or with the leadership. I do miss some friends who cannot come due to health concerns. 

Edited December 16, 2020 by ScoutTN

[Pam in CT]

My synagogue moved VERY quickly back in March to transition pretty much everything regular -- Friday services, Saturday Torah study, book group, religious school and Hebrew study -- to an online format. Some of it went smoother than others; moving the afterschool Hebrew study online was probably the rockiest, between a mostly-older group of teachers who never in their lives expected to have to work virtually and students who were, by 4pm after a long frustrating day trying to do their secular studies, thoroughly zoomed out.   And singing... bah.  COLLECTIVE SINGING ON ZOOM DOESN'T WORK.  At all; the connection speeds are off and the voices will not blend, at all, just don't try, put one person on and the rest on mute and endure.  Even *one location* with music from multiple

But other parts worked surprisingly smoothly -- Torah study and book group in particular, which both have long-standing clusters of folks who've been showing up for years and already know each other really, really well; and a natural structure to the time spent together.

COVID happened to hit just in the time of Passover, and Passover is the single most commonly marked practice among American Jews; so we along with communities and families around the world had a massive scramble to get virtual seder formats together. In hindsight this random timing turned out to be something of a blessing, because it created a real urgency to "train" all the disparate elders onto Zoom technology, Zoom manners protocol, and working out Zoom liturgy... all of which we could then build on in the following months.

Other unexpected blessings: greater reach (snowbirds in our community whom we otherwise don't see coul carry on with Torah study even while they were in their Florida condo; elders who can't drive can join us to events they did not used to come to; folks sitting out quarantines have still been able to participate; almost-adult children off at college have been able to zoom in; friends and family in farflung places can pop in to events of interest -- a friend of mine did a latke cooking class this past weekend and her brother in Boston Zoomed in to it, which was adorable -- outside speakers in other locations can join without travel or expenses.  I'm part of the national Women of Reform Judaism organization, which does national and regional leadership development conferences in alternate years.  Our regional conference happens to be held quite close to our town, just ~30 minutes drive... but still, between travel time and conference fees, it's a rare cycle that more than 2 of us are able to make it; this year it was all online, all free, and you could sign up for whatever seminars or services you wanted... and at least 10 of us were able to attend parts of it. It was *great.*  We've been able to connect in to film series held by organizations across the country and do workshops with farflung speakers at nominal or no cost.  We've made up new kinds of online programs (Julia Child-style cooking class, Jewish-themed story hour for the little ones) that we never would have considered before, and which turn out to be Good Ideas.

But. There is no substitute for in person.  After no real-life contact *at all* from March through to ~July, we slowly and cautious resumed a handful of very-modified things -- postponed bar/bat mitzvot took place, with restricted numbers, under a newly acquired big tent in late summer; we did a series of outdoor movie screenings of vaguely Jewish-themed movies projected onto my house, and congregants brought their lawn chairs; over the September high holidays we did one shofar (blowing of the ram's horn) service on the synagogue steps and congregants stayed in or on their cars; and the following day there was an in-real-life hike out to a lake to cast our sins into the water; during Sukkah we had one Saturday night havdalah (closure of the Sabbath) service under the synagogue Sukkah (constructed tent-like shelter) and a number of families had limited-size gatherings in Sukkahs at home; and we did a couple of book group sessions on patios or decks.

But then the weather got cold and the cases spiked, and now we're back to pretty much all online again. Just last week the synagogue held an outdoor menorah lighting on the synagogue steps, with folks in cars... to which I (regretfully, but firmly) did not go, and which was evidently very scantly attended compared to the similar-format shofar service back in September.

 

Folks are really determined to get through this, and particularly now that there is light at the end of the tunnel: though we are weary, we are grimly carrying on.

There is actually a type of spiritual community and faith, in such grim collective carrying-on.  (Though in the modern era that may be more obvious to Jews than to other Americans.)  COVID began at Passover: this is a plague; we are wandering; we do not know when or how it will end; we are being tested.

Keep the faith, boardies.

[Gobblygook]

I am really struggling with this right now.

Our church went virtual in March, reopened with significant modifications for the summer (masks, distancing, no singing, pre-recorded sermon, no fellowship time) and is back virtual. I haven’t been back since early March except for a few outside events this summer. I know they are trying their best but the virtual services just aren’t cutting it. I miss the people and the music. My husband watches services from a different church and my kids are completely disengaged. One is doing confirmation on Zoom but otherwise they are completely checked out of youth group Zooms. Until our recent dial-back, two were doing volunteer work with the youth group in a Covid-safe way but that has been put on hold for now. Thankfully, my oldest son goes to a Christian school 5 days a week where he has chapel and class devotions, so he is getting spiritual input there. 

I am part of Bible Study Fellowship (a national organization with local study groups) and we are doing that on Zoom, and that is going pretty well as a study. There’s not much a fellowship aspect for me on Zoom, not having known the other group members prior. 

We missed our church’s lovely candlelit Christmas Eve service last year due to travel and I am so sad we will miss it again this year. There are plans to do it on Zoom, but I NEED to be in church. I may try to visit a different church where I know they are following precautions and where I’m fairly certain it will be easy to distance. 

Edited December 16, 2020 by Gobblygook

[HS Mom in NC]

I hadn't been working well for me before 2020.  I'll be brief and say the branch of evangelicalism I've been dealing with ( I don't comment on branches I have no personal experience with) lacks depth.

Online church has been nice because it's an opportunity to worship with a wide variety of churches across the Christian Spectrum without being limited by physical location. Do I want this to go on forever? Absolutely not, I long to be back in a corporate worship situation as soon as it's no longer a risk to the most vulnerable among us. Social distancing and masking aren't going on in the church I attended before the pandemic.  They did when the governor ordered it, but now that churches don't have to, they're not. I do. I'm online for church.

I agree that online is not the same as in person, but I honestly believe it's good for us to do without corporate worship temporarily so we can better appreciate it when we have it, empathize with those who don't have access to it often or at all, increase our efforts to address our personal, individual, internal issues and growth so we're better prepared when we do return to corporate worship, and as a result, more deeply appreciate what other people like church leadership and corporate worship participants (musicians, singers, preachers, teachers, etc.) put into corporate worship to glorify God and minister to us. Also, this is the perfect opportunity for Christians to spend much more time with classic writings from throughout the history of Christianity, which provides us access to some of the greatest teachers we otherwise would never have been able to hear. They applied the same eternal, transcendent truths to different difficult situations, situations we may face in the future.  

I do worry about people who insist that not being able to attend church in person means they're not able to worship at all. That's just too far.  What do they think is going on with the persecuted church and the very newest converts in places without other believers?  Imagine what would've happened if the early church and pouted like that instead of seeing it as an opportunity to grow their faith in ways corporate worship can't.  No wonder they were singing in prison and writing some of the greatest works that have stood the test of time.

[gardenmom5]

It is what it is.  the main meeting has been zoom, and a couple months ago the option to meet in  person was added.  (masks required, every other row is empty, things are sanitized, etc.) We started attending a spanish speaking branch just before this started - so that's made things harder (english ability ranges from 100% fluent with minimal accent and are there more to support those who are trying to learn english.  we're basically the ones trying to learn spanish)

Our sunday school lessons were already available online - we can do self-study, but it's not a group.  I do scripture study in both english and spanish.  I'm actually enjoying it in spanish.

[Junie]

10 minutes ago, Homeschool Mom in AZ said:

I hadn't been working well for me before 2020.  I'll be brief and say the branch of evangelicalism I've been dealing with ( I don't comment on branches I have no personal experience with) lacks depth.

Online church has been nice because it's an opportunity to worship with a wide variety of churches across the Christian Spectrum without being limited by physical location. Do I want this to go on forever? Absolutely not, I long to be back in a corporate worship situation as soon as it's no longer a risk to the most vulnerable among us. Social distancing and masking aren't going on in the church I attended before the pandemic.  They did when the governor ordered it, but now that churches don't have to, they're not. I do. I'm online for church.

I agree that online is not the same as in person, but I honestly believe it's good for us to do without corporate worship temporarily so we can better appreciate it when we have it, empathize with those who don't have access to it often or at all, increase our efforts to address our personal, individual, internal issues and growth so we're better prepared when we do return to corporate worship, and as a result, more deeply appreciate what other people like church leadership and corporate worship participants (musicians, singers, preachers, teachers, etc.) put into corporate worship to glorify God and minister to us. Also, this is the perfect opportunity for Christians to spend much more time with classic writings from throughout the history of Christianity, which provides us access to some of the greatest teachers we otherwise would never have been able to hear. They applied the same eternal, transcendent truths to different difficult situations, situations we may face in the future.  

I do worry about people who insist that not being able to attend church in person means they're not able to worship at all. That's just too far.  What do they think is going on with the persecuted church and the very newest converts in places without other believers?  Imagine what would've happened if the early church and pouted like that instead of seeing it as an opportunity to grow their faith in ways corporate worship can't.  No wonder they were singing in prison and writing some of the greatest works that have stood the test of time.

Yes.  This is what I was struggling to find words to say.

I have not been to church in person since March.  I have often thought of missionaries -- especially before the internet -- who would be separated from their church, their families, their friends -- even people who spoke their native language -- for years.

I have been thinking of the pioneers of the past who moved westward, knowing that they may never see their families again.  And they were moving to locations that had no churches, no stores, no anything.

I wish that our church would do a better job of reaching out to those who don't feel comfortable going to church in person.  It was better at the beginning and through the summer.  But once school restarted, the Bible studies for the kids and teens dried up.  

But, my family is doing well.  We would prefer to be in church in person, but we can wait. 

[ericathemom]

Our experience is mixed to slightly frustrating. Our services went online in March; live-streaming with no interaction. We heard from friends that various groups of people were meeting at various homes to watch the service and fellowship together. The church started offering inside services as soon as California allowed it. The flyers spoke of masking and distancing but from friends who attended (we didn't), there was little distancing and scattered masking. They've since set up outdoor services under a tent in the parking lot since indoor services aren't permitted anymore. We attended most of those during the summer since I was watching the case numbers that town had very minimal cases. There was probably about 80-90% mask compliance but next to no distancing. I didn't understand why they still felt the need to personally hand bulletins and shake people's hands. 🙅‍♀️

We stopped attending in-person by October when I noticed cases in that town had doubled over those in our own town (5 minutes away). I've since noticed that the church continues to add in-person activities: men's breakfast, women's Christmas party, high school ugly Christmas sweater party, car show, etc. I was told from one gal organizing a woman's event that they were going to follow "restaurant rules". Apparently you mask as you arrive and unmask when you reach your seat (at a small table with other woman not from your household 🤦‍♀️).

I really miss the people I used to see there. However, the only option it seems for in-person activities is to accept that it will be "mask-optional" and no distancing. No one from the woman's group I had attended for several years ever reached out to us. This pandemic has really shown to me which groups I was really only a fringe member of. When it's over, I'm going have to start from scratch creating friendships. I apparently had acquaintances  but no actual friends at our church.

[J-rap]

YES and YES!  That is, it has worked great for me pre-Covid and now also during it.  It's actually the first church I've ever attended in my entire life that has been personally fulfilling.  Up till then, it always felt like more of an obligation.  (I don't mean my personal faith, but my church experience.)

We only began attending it in person about a year and a half ago, after we moved.  I loved being able to be part of it in-person, but it has really stepped up and lived up to its focus during the pandemic too.  (We're still completely online).  It has a very "other" oriented message so it has dived into helping the community and the low-income and the homeless in our city.  It also has a giant online community of groups, and because our pastor is a theologian who has written books read world-wide, we're now able to have people from all over the world join in.  I'm now part of a small-group with people who live all over the country who have now become good friends of mine.  

ETA:  Also, the on-line sermons continue to be life-changing for me, so whether I get to hear them in-person or on-line really makes no difference, as far as that part goes.  They continue to challenge me to re-think things and grow.

ETA2 :):  If anyone is looking for an active on-line church with online groups to meet with, even just temporarily during the pandemic, anyone is welcome (Christian or not)!  Just PM me!

Edited December 16, 2020 by J-rap

[wintermom]

No. I prefer participating in-person at most things, including church. The services I have watched have been excellent, however I just can't get motivated to watch on a weekly basis. I go out in nature and do my own praying and worship 'service.' 

[SKL]

In normal times, I would call my church experience somewhat fulfilling.  I get a good feeling and feel somewhat spiritually recharged to start the week.

Since March, we have only watched online services.  I would not call this fulfilling, but I do feel like it's better than nothing.  I guess I would call it somewhat grounding?

[Garga]

I don’t know. 

My church used to be very fulfilling. And then the pastor of 19 years left for a new opportunity. And we had an interim pastor for a year who was boring as all get out. Then we got a new pastor. And he also was boring as all get out. I’m a committed believer and I just couldn’t focus on what he was saying. Nothing made much sense, he’d ramble and not make points, or it was just high-level phrases that I couldn’t really apply to anything in my life. I realized after waiting for things to get better for 3 years that they weren’t going to get better, and my kids were getting nothing out of the service.

With a heavy heart, we left that church and tried out 3 new churches and finally settled on one.

The new church is nice. The pastor teaches messages that are very easy to understand and apply (exactly what I wanted for the kids!).  But...I have no connection there. None of us do. I was just about to take the plunge and try to form all new friendships (while still balancing the old ones from the old church)...when covid hit. Even then, I was a little worn out at the idea of forming all brand new friendships and relationships, but I knew it was wise to do so.

And now...the online services are nice, because the messages are solid and accessible. But...without the people connection something is missing. And since we’re sitting in the living room, I don’t feel like I can close my eyes and really focus on God and worship and soak in the moment. It’s kinda awkward sitting with the family. In church, we’d all be facing the same way and you could get in to the moment without distraction. Somehow, even though it’s quiet at home, I can’t enter into the moment.

So...I feel like I haven’t been really spiritually fulfilled in about 5 years now. There have been a few services at a church an hour from home that I’ve attended and those were wonderful, but nothing consistent.

This doesn’t mean my relationship with God has faded. I just feel like I’m in some sort of paused moment, but not in a good way, but in a weird, spinning my wheels, way.  My spiritual walk isn’t bad...just sort of drifting along right now.

Edited December 16, 2020 by Garga

[lulalu]

All the online stuff has really been difficult this year. It has definitely not been fulfilling for my family.