My family does not appreciate this gift I'm giving them...

[alisoncooks]

...the gift of self-sufficiency, lol. 

I was finding myself increasingly *angered* on Sunday evenings. After church and picking up/putting away groceries and scrambling for lunch and and and... I could not care LESS about what to feed them for supper.  And it was always up to me.

So. Today it began. I told them that the kitchen was -- from here on out -- closed on Sunday nights. I ate a bagel. One ate leftovers from lunch (Chipotle). One last holdout moped a fair bit and is now sitting at the table eating a bowl of oatmeal. 

Anyone else have a night where the kiddos fend for themselves? Do you stock any specific things that they can find in their  scavenging?

[klmama]

No special night, but we almost always scrounge our own meals after a family Costco and grocery store run.  Cereal, leftovers, yogurt, and/or frozen pizza are the usual choices.  Everyone seems glad to eat whatever they want. When I was a kid, we always ate popcorn for supper on Sunday nights as we watched TV.  

[marbel]

We have had "fend for yourself" or "leftover extravaganza" nights for years. I would be pretty lax about nutrition on those nights, so could be peanut butter sandwich (or graham crackers in place of bread), a form of bread and cheese such as quesadilla or cheese toast, or frozen commercial stuff like taquitos or chicken strips. In winter I would try to have some soup around, and in summer we would often grill a big batch of chicken thighs which could be eaten a variety of ways.

 

[Bambam]

Our Sunday nights have been independent meals for a long time. Leftovers, make a PBJ, eat popcorn, I don't care, and don't ask me to prepare it for you unless you are sick. 

[slackermom]

This was part of the appeal of early Montessori at home: look kid, your little kitchen set up in the corner is stocked with REAL food! 

 

[alisoncooks]

15 minutes ago, klmama said:

No special night, but we almost always scrounge our own meals after a family Costco and grocery store run.  Cereal, leftovers, yogurt, and/or frozen pizza are the usual choices.  Everyone seems glad to eat whatever they want. When I was a kid, we always ate popcorn for supper on Sunday nights as we watched TV.  

Yes! I grew up watching tv and eating porcorn on Sunday nights! I suggested it tonight, but my kids don't get the appeal. (They regularly eat popcorn as an afternoon snack, so I suppose it's lost its luster.)

[PeterPan]

Isn't that how most places are? Certainly is the norm here, and it was the norm at the university I went to. I think it's polite if you have something in the house they can work with like leftovers, cold pizza to warm up, lunch meat to make sandwiches, hot dogs or foods they can grill, that kind of thing. But no, low key on Sunday evening is FINE. My dh is feasting tonight on venison roast only because I made it yesterday and he wanted to order mexican instead. Normally he totally fends for himself, warming up cold pizza or cooking deer hotdogs from the freezer. I'm having leftover mexican, yum. 

 

[popmom]

4 minutes ago, alisoncooks said:

Yes! I grew up watching tv and eating porcorn on Sunday nights! I suggested it tonight, but my kids don't get the appeal. (They regularly eat popcorn as an afternoon snack, so I suppose it's lost its luster.)

Same here. Or cereal. Or whatever they can make for themselves. I don't do Sunday night meals either. 

[historically accurate]

I call it YOYO night - You're On Your Own. Lunch is always YOYO; lately we've been getting the school lunches available, so have at them, I say. Then, one night per week is YOYO as well. 

I grew up with Sunday night as popcorn and chocolate chips. 

[JustEm]

No.  But I do have one night a week where they are responsible for making the family dinner.  I will help them by buying the groceries they need for it and taking something out of the oven, but that's it.  

[SounderChick]

Lunch is always scrounge.  Sunday is popcorn night they can grab other snacks to.

[mathnerd]

No. When my child was young and I was working long hours, if I could not make dinner, we all had oatmeal with fruits and nuts. Everyone ate it without complaining. Recently, I have doubled the recipes that I make for dinner and have frozen a meal a few times every week. When I am running errands or doing grocery shopping, we eat meals from the freezer. This is because my entire family will eat a banana and crackers if I weren't around to feed them.

[RootAnn]

Breakfast & lunch during the week is scrounge for yourself. Sometimes I will make something Saturday mornings. Breakfast on Sundays, DH & I usually fix unless he is working. The evening meal is almost always a family meal no matter the day of the week. If DH works on Sunday, the evening meal is breakfast food.

My kids are older; youngest is over 10. Older kids plan & fix one evening meal a week each & the kids often plan the whole menu for the week. 

Ds#1 often tosses in a frozen pizza for lunch. Ds#2 fixes pancakes, omelets, or Bisquik cinnamon rolls for the others for breakfast. Dd#3 is known for desserts, usually made at the request of dd#2. They all know how to make ramen, Mac & cheese, sandwiches, and various other quick lunches but now that dd#1 is gone to college, settle for leftovers more often than they used to.

I am grateful they leaned to fend for themselves so I feel less resentful when they ask me, "Are you fixing anything?" for breakfast on the weekend. Because I hardly ever make breakfast anymore, it is a treat for everyone.

[mom31257]

No, but there are times I'm gone and ds has to fend for himself. I do make sure there are foods he can easily feed himself when that happens. 

He's never been interested in learning to cook, but I know I need to teach him some basics before he goes away to college. I foresee a life skills boot camp this spring or summer. 

I actually like cooking for them. I make dh's breakfast and pack his lunch most mornings. I make ds' breakfast and lunch, and I cook dinner. Dd is on her own now, and she really misses my cooking. I always plan her favorites when she can come home. 

Feeding our family was always important to my mom and my grandmother, so I feel I am carrying on the family tradition. It's something I can do that will hopefully be something they remember well after I'm gone, too. 

 

[Selkie]

My kids are really good at fending for themselves. There are usually 1-2 nights a week when they make their own dinner, and they've been getting their own breakfast and lunch since they were little kids.

[mmasc]

2 hours ago, alisoncooks said:

...the gift of self-sufficiency, lol. 

I was finding myself increasingly *angered* on Sunday evenings. After church and picking up/putting away groceries and scrambling for lunch and and and... I could not care LESS about what to feed them for supper.  And it was always up to me.

So. Today it began. I told them that the kitchen was -- from here on out -- closed on Sunday nights. I ate a bagel. One ate leftovers from lunch (Chipotle). One last holdout moped a fair bit and is now sitting at the table eating a bowl of oatmeal. 

Anyone else have a night where the kiddos fend for themselves? Do you stock any specific things that they can find in their  scavenging?

Ummm...regularly. 😳 When they fend for themselves, it is not high quality nutrition, and I’m ok with it that night. Fend for yourself this week was two nights ago; one had Ramen (which I keep on hand for this reason), one had a peanut butter sandwich and yogurt, and I think one might have made nachos (tortilla chips with shredded cheese in the microwave). I also keep pizza rolls, Bagel Bites, and frozen popcorn chicken on hand for these nights. They can all easily be made quickly in the toaster oven. 

[EKS]

2 hours ago, alisoncooks said:

Anyone else have a night where the kiddos fend for themselves?

Yes--we call it "own dinners," and we've done it for years.  

[KrissiK]

I usually don’t do it for the evening meal, but lunches several times a week, yes. There are plenty of leftovers in the fridge, there’s cereal, they all know how to make a quesadilla or a sandwich.

[Soror]

Sunday is actually when I like to make a big dinner but they kids regularly cook meals and have for years. They each take turns. I don't usually cook lunch either except occasionally weekend. It is fend for yourself/leftovers for lunch.

[BlsdMama]

We each take turns cooking so I only cook one night a week... 😉

[Emba]

Sunday night is basically fend for yourself around here, too. Cereal, sandwiches, leftovers, I don’t care. I give them a pass on eating a healthy balanced meal, but they can’t just have desserts or super sweet cereal.

 During the summer I also make each child responsible for one supper or lunch meal a week. They May voluntarily cook breakfast as well; DD 14 has been doing pancakes for years, independently. Yesterday DS 8 wanted to do French toast by himself. I made him look up a recipe instead of doing it by memory, and I offered very occasional guidance, but he’s almost to the point of being able to do it alone. 

[SKL]

It's been years since I started asking my kids what they were gonna make for dinner.  Most nights, it's a la carte, and I almost never cook.  So far nobody has died of starvation here.

Possibly a side effect of this - one of my kids loves cooking!  Yay!

[MercyA]

Interesting, the number of people who have popcorn on Sunday nights! My DH's family did, too, when he was growing up. Sunday night's dinner was always popcorn and milkshakes. I wonder if the tradition arose from people watching the ABC Sunday night movie together?

[MooCow]

I have always done that...since my IBS has been very active lately, it’s more often that I don’t cook. My youngest is a pretty ok cook and will often create dinners for himself and dh.

I had never heard of popcorn Sunday’s before, it sounds fun!

[J-rap]

My mother always served a big Sunday noon dinner.  It was the biggest meal of the week, and the only time (other than holidays and company) that we ate in our dining room.  We would still have on our church clothes 🙂 and it was a big deal.

All of that changed when I had my own family.  I wasn't super into traditions or cooking (back then, although I'm more so now!).  But my dh was from a very large family back in the 60's whose mother was worn out by Sunday evenings, so she started the tradition of the whole family sitting down together on the floor of the family room on a blanket and watching The Wonderful World of Disney, and eating popcorn with slices of cheese and apples.

So, my dh started that tradition with our family on Sunday evenings, only we watched a movie instead of Disney.  It's our tradition today, even if it's just my dh and me.  🙂 

[Kassia]

40 minutes ago, J-rap said:

.  But my dh was from a very large family back in the 60's whose mother was worn out by Sunday evenings, so she started the tradition of the whole family sitting down together on the floor of the family room on a blanket and watching The Wonderful World of Disney, and eating popcorn with slices of cheese and apples.

So, my dh started that tradition with our family on Sunday evenings, only we watched a movie instead of Disney.  It's our tradition today, even if it's just my dh and me.  🙂 

What a wonderful tradition!  I wish we had done something like that.  

[HS Mom in NC]

18 hours ago, alisoncooks said:

Anyone else have a night where the kiddos fend for themselves? Do you stock any specific things that they can find in their  scavenging?

Yep, sometimes it's a "You're on your own" lunch or dinner that just happens spontaneously because that's how life works.  I don't eat breakfast, so everyone has been on their own for breakfast since they were about 4 or 5. (They could have yogurt, cereal and milk from a small sized milk container, or toast and fruit.) I taught them how to cook eggs and fish sticks when they were around 7 or 8.

I keep bread (toast and sandwiches,) eggs (frying, scrambling, and ramen,) cans of soups, pasta a jarred sauces, leftovers, pork chops, hot dogs, rice, cereal, milks, and such on hand.  That's in addition to my practice of bulk cooking and putting things in individual, labeled freezer containers or when there's just one serving of a meal leftover, I put it in a labeled container in the freezer.

I also tend to practice "Cook Once, Eat Twice" principles because it's cost effective and less kitchen clean up in addition to having a full meal or two in the fridge waiting to be heated up if I don't want to cook.

Once my kids are about 12 I have no problem assigning them a night of the week to cook for the family.  They pick a few dishes to master and get on the rotation.

And starting in January (we're eating through many of the freezer meals) I'm expanding to the Cook Once, Eat All Week meal planning method https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1974806472/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1 to cut costs, reduce kitchen clean up, and preserve my energy as I deal with perimenopausal issues and various home based projects. 
You can watch the author demo different weekly meal plans  on Youtube. (Sorry it's on such a chattery show format, it was the first one that came up.)

 

[cjzimmer1]

I've never allowed any of my kids to have free range in the kitchen because too many of them would devour ALL the good stuff and leave the undesirables for everyone else.  Yes I get there is a certain degree of first come first served with that method but when one kid would eat 2 whole steaks without even thinking, hey that's alot of meat, maybe I should only eat one and save the other for someone else.  Or another kid who says look a whole bag of tortilla chips, I'll eat it all myself even if there are no other chips in the house for anyone else. and on and on.  Dh is just as bad if not worse on than the kids on this, so as much as I like the idea of free range, I know it wont work here.  Especially since the oldest 2 work evenings so they don't get to eat supper at normal times, if I didn't control the food, there would never be anything left for them except vegetables. However, we do have a system such that I really only cook 4 meals in a week and since I like cooking, that really doesn't seem like an onerous amount of work. Breakfast is on your own but only about 3 people in the entire house eat breakfast and they have a list from which to choose.  Lunch and the 3 dinners I don't cook are all leftovers from the 4 meals I do cook.  I just portion everyone's plate and they just heat it up when they are ready to eat.  Takes about 5 minutes per meal time of effort for me which is less effort than it would take to guide 7 people through what food is available to grab and what is needed for another meal. 

[HS Mom in NC]

34 minutes ago, cjzimmer1 said:

I've never allowed any of my kids to have free range in the kitchen because too many of them would devour ALL the good stuff and leave the undesirables for everyone else.  Yes I get there is a certain degree of first come first served with that method but when one kid would eat 2 whole steaks without even thinking, hey that's alot of meat, maybe I should only eat one and save the other for someone else.  Or another kid who says look a whole bag of tortilla chips, I'll eat it all myself even if there are no other chips in the house for anyone else. and on and on.  Dh is just as bad if not worse on than the kids on this, so as much as I like the idea of free range, I know it wont work here.  Especially since the oldest 2 work evenings so they don't get to eat supper at normal times, if I didn't control the food, there would never be anything left for them except vegetables. However, we do have a system such that I really only cook 4 meals in a week and since I like cooking, that really doesn't seem like an onerous amount of work. Breakfast is on your own but only about 3 people in the entire house eat breakfast and they have a list from which to choose.  Lunch and the 3 dinners I don't cook are all leftovers from the 4 meals I do cook.  I just portion everyone's plate and they just heat it up when they are ready to eat.  Takes about 5 minutes per meal time of effort for me which is less effort than it would take to guide 7 people through what food is available to grab and what is needed for another meal. 

We teach portion control explicitly because it's an important life skill for physical and social health. When a person is prone to taking more of their fair share I ask out loud, "How many people are in this house?" and wait for an answer. Then we ask, "So how much of that should you take so that others can have a fair share too?" And I wait for them to answer. It's demonstrating/teaching the thought process they should be doing for themselves.

I talk about what a single portion is when it comes to things like chips if I see someone not intuiting it.  "When you get chips,  only take one potion worth.  "A single portion of chips is about this much on this plate" (I physically demonstrate) "or about a full bowl of this size" (I get out the appropriately sized bowl and fill it with chips.) Then I say, "Don't eat out of the chip bag itself, because it's hard to tell if you've eaten a single portion." After that using the phrase, "Remember, you're not the only one here/who wants some/who might like some too." gets the person focused on thinking of others if they seem to be forgetting the demonstration I did. 

[SKL]

Speaking of Sunday dinner traditions ... as a kid, "Sunday dinner" was our family's weekly feast.  I think it started when my folks were newlyweds.  My dad's mom used to have them over for dinner on Sundays, and she would pass on her wonderful cooking to my mom, whose own mother wasn't the best cook.  Sunday at grandma's continued for some years, as I even remember going there (I was the 3rd kid).  But at some point my folks brought it "in house."  So Sunday dinner tended to be the best meal of the week, and worth waiting for.  My mom always worked outside the house during the week, so that was surely another factor.

We didn't have "popcorn dinners," but our popcorn tradition was on Friday nights, a few hours after dinner.  We would make buttered popcorn on the stove (the old fashioned way), and eat it while watching a Friday-night movie.  We even got to have a bit of pop.  It was the only day of the week we were allowed such luxuries.  LOL!

[prairiewindmomma]

We always have a pantry stocked so kids can make their own meals. The current offerings are: microwaveable madras lentils, turkey sandwiches, Pb&j, microwaveable Mac and cheese, canned soup and chicken nuggets. We also have a wide range of prepped fruit and veg, hard boiled eggs, yogurts, bagels, etc. I don’t normally have so many processed items, but 2020 has been awful and my kids are craving comfort foods. These are things my youngest/2nd grader can make herself. The rest of my kids can all cook full meals for all of us if asked. 
 

I told Dh this year that he needed to learn to make proper meals...and that he needed to step up and cook occasionally. We have been working through that process of me teaching him, step by step, how to make nutritious meals for our family. He has had almost no prior experience in the kitchen.