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Aggressive non-maskers, aaaagh. JAWM - Vent ahead.


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We are isolating.  Most of you know why, as I’ve probably said it ad nauseum, but my mom is living with us (80, frail), DS (16) and I are both immune-compromised and are both extremely at risk if we get sick, DH and DD both have pre-existing conditions.  Basically our entire household is high risk of complications - some of us from any bug, not just Covid. We’ve had some serious scares in the past few years already. Frankly, I want to stay alive to finish raising my kids, and I want DH, DS and DD around, too.

We’ve only had deliveries since March.  We disinfect groceries, and packages sit for days before opening.  A few emergency hospital trips and extremely necessary doc visits - one emergency dental, one emergency eye.  Nothing routine that can be postponed. One picnic that ended quickly, due to non-maskers. DH works from home, we homeschool and have canceled extracurriculars.

I get that our neighbors don’t think Covid is a real thing to worry about, they don’t mask and have parties, and generally live normally.  I still like our neighbors, we wave and text each other, and there’s a mutual understanding.  It’s good. Sure, I’d prefer they all masked, so my family could feel safer, but they don’t, and we still get along.  I don’t shame anyone, just adjust my family’s activities to accommodate our needs.

But, holy cow!  Every time we must go out, it seems like there is some weird interaction with a non-masker.

- The only time we did curbside, a non masked lady came and yelled in our window about our sticker on the car (political, but not inflammatory). We went back to delivery.

- I stayed late at the dentist office for an emergency repair, and when I came out of the chair the entire business staff was unmasked as I paid.  They could see me inching farther away, and one kept walking within maybe 4 feet of me, back and forth.  It felt deliberate, defiant. I paid and got the heck out.

- Unmasked EMT in the ER, smiling and whistling outside my mom’s open room.

- Our one and only picnic at the river was cut short when unmasked family came and stood next to us, within maybe 5 feet, to look at the water, their exuberant kid jumping all around us.  We stopped eating and left.  That one didn’t feel defiant, deliberate, just inconsiderate.  The kid was cute, we just left and didn’t try the river picnic idea again.  

- Yesterday we had to have necessary car repairs done. DH dropped it off at the dealer, inside the drive up bay.  The man, with nose sticking out, clearly, aggressively getting closer and closer to DH, while DH keeps backing up.  My DH is the most mellow guy ever, nothing bothers him, and this, this was clearly on purpose and deliberate, and just obnoxious.  The guy obviously wanted to breathe on DH, to make a point.

Gaaaaah!  I get so tired of being kind, and understanding, and changing my family’s life, to accommodate people who clearly can’t be kind and understanding of us.  If I can be non-judgmental, not shame them for not masking, not ask anything of them, maybe they could at least see that we are masked and respect our choice, maybe make an effort not to get in our faces and breathe hard??  It’s one thing when it’s a kid (the picnic kid), or doesn’t seem deliberate, but the aggressive “I want to yell in your face” people are really getting to me.

Have you all had these experiences? Is this just our area?

 

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Wow, that sounds awful! Around where I am it's more just people with the attitude that the whole covid thing is overblown and we are weak-minded fools for falling for it. I haven't had anyone who deliberately tried to come over and breathe on me. I have had a few who felt the need to educate me on their view of the pandemic (i.e. it's not real/ it was a plan/ it's a plot for world domination). I usually just say that I disagree and that's it.

To be honest I don't think I would be able to be non-judgmental or non-shaming if someone was deliberately trying to get in my personal space and put me at risk. I think I would be making a scene and raising holy hell about it. That being said, ever since I started going through peri-menopause I haven't been very good about keeping my mouth shut or caring what other people think so YMMV.

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I agree with you! And not just because you told me to.

I am pretty tolerant of varied opinions and approaches on this. If I wasn’t I would have no friends and be constantly frustrated. So, I’ll look out for myself and you do you. 

BUT- if you yell at a 17 yo grocery store cashier because he is wearing a mask (as required by his employer) you are a jerk.

BUT- if you mock the customer honoring the wishes of a small business owner who requests masks, you are a jerk. 
 

JAWM too!

Edited by teachermom2834
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We are not particularly at risk, but still try to be cautious and considerate.

Dh was running Saturday morning and approaching a grown family in the wide sidewalk, so he pulled up his doubled buff. The unmasked Dad of the family moved towards she's side of the sidewalk until dh finally moved to run in the grass. Then unmasked Dad started laughing. 🙄

You are not alone.

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I haven't had that experience.  I guess I live in a "you do you" kind of place.

Some of those things would not bother me though.  People don't know you are extremely high risk.  It is generally understood that playing outdoors is not risky unless the person is right in your face for an extended time period.

But yeah, if those people were really purposely blowing in faces for spite, that is crazy.

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That's awful. 

We had one uncomfortable incident at the dollar tree.  I was paying and another couple was waiting in their square.  Than a man came in unmasked looking to get cash, must do it often cashier told him he had to buy something as soon as he came.  He grabbed gum and preceded to stand right next to me.  Uncomfortably close even in none Covid times and cutting the line.  Based on the cashier not attitude and not saying I just payed quickly and got out. 

I tried going to church once since they moved inside and people will not stay away.  They kept coming up for hugs.  I think they thought we had come to our senses.  

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2 minutes ago, SKL said:

I haven't had that experience.  I guess I live in a "you do you" kind of place.

Some of those things would not bother me though.  People don't know you are extremely high risk.  It is generally understood that playing outdoors is not risky unless the person is right in your face for an extended time period.

I think I live in that kind of place, too.  I just don't see or feel judgement from other people around here.  People don't seem to care that I'm wearing a mask, even if they aren't.  🤷🏻‍♀️    I actually have grown fond of my masks and I'm guessing that's the agoraphobia rearing it's ugly head, but this time it works for me.   I may continue with masks in certain places (Walmart, I'm looking at you) even after this is tamed.   I don't anticipate anyone caring then either.   Maybe I live in a bubble.  Some of the things I hear happening from people here just blow my mind sometimes.    Of course, I also have an impressive resting bitch face that I've perfected since highschool, so perhaps that helps??  

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Sheesh. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that.  
 

Maybe you can order one of those 6’ hiking sticks from Ireland and swing it up whenever anyone gets within 6’ of you. 

Or wear shirts that say, “ Please stay back, immune compromised.”

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47 minutes ago, Spryte said:

We are isolating.  Most of you know why, as I’ve probably said it ad nauseum, but my mom is living with us (80, frail), DS (16) and I are both immune-compromised and are both extremely at risk if we get sick, DH and DD both have pre-existing conditions.  Basically our entire household is high risk of complications - some of us from any bug, not just Covid. We’ve had some serious scares in the past few years already. Frankly, I want to stay alive to finish raising my kids, and I want DH, DS and DD around, too.

We’ve only had deliveries since March.  We disinfect groceries, and packages sit for days before opening.  A few emergency hospital trips and extremely necessary doc visits - one emergency dental, one emergency eye.  Nothing routine that can be postponed. One picnic that ended quickly, due to non-maskers. DH works from home, we homeschool and have canceled extracurriculars.

I get that our neighbors don’t think Covid is a real thing to worry about, they don’t mask and have parties, and generally live normally.  I still like our neighbors, we wave and text each other, and there’s a mutual understanding.  It’s good. Sure, I’d prefer they all masked, so my family could feel safer, but they don’t, and we still get along.  I don’t shame anyone, just adjust my family’s activities to accommodate our needs.

But, holy cow!  Every time we must go out, it seems like there is some weird interaction with a non-masker.

- The only time we did curbside, a non masked lady came and yelled in our window about our sticker on the car (political, but not inflammatory). We went back to delivery.

- I stayed late at the dentist office for an emergency repair, and when I came out of the chair the entire business staff was unmasked as I paid.  They could see me inching farther away, and one kept walking within maybe 4 feet of me, back and forth.  It felt deliberate, defiant. I paid and got the heck out.

- Unmasked EMT in the ER, smiling and whistling outside my mom’s open room.

- Our one and only picnic at the river was cut short when unmasked family came and stood next to us, within maybe 5 feet, to look at the water, their exuberant kid jumping all around us.  We stopped eating and left.  That one didn’t feel defiant, deliberate, just inconsiderate.  The kid was cute, we just left and didn’t try the river picnic idea again.  

- Yesterday we had to have necessary car repairs done. DH dropped it off at the dealer, inside the drive up bay.  The man, with nose sticking out, clearly, aggressively getting closer and closer to DH, while DH keeps backing up.  My DH is the most mellow guy ever, nothing bothers him, and this, this was clearly on purpose and deliberate, and just obnoxious.  The guy obviously wanted to breathe on DH, to make a point.

Gaaaaah!  I get so tired of being kind, and understanding, and changing my family’s life, to accommodate people who clearly can’t be kind and understanding of us.  If I can be non-judgmental, not shame them for not masking, not ask anything of them, maybe they could at least see that we are masked and respect our choice, maybe make an effort not to get in our faces and breathe hard??  It’s one thing when it’s a kid (the picnic kid), or doesn’t seem deliberate, but the aggressive “I want to yell in your face” people are really getting to me.

Have you all had these experiences? Is this just our area?

 

Interestingly, dh reports some of these type interactions.  I have not noticed it at all.  I have wondered 1)he is seeing things I am missing 2) he is imagining things 3)people are treating him differently than they treat me.  

That dentist would no longer be my dentist.  That is horrible.  

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I'm so sorry you have to deal with this! In our area (DC metro) everyone is very compliant with the governor's mask mandate when in public. In fact, a woman apologized yesterday for leaving her mask in her car when DD and I were at the park, not even near them. I have a few acquaintances who think covid is a plan-demic scam and honestly, I've lost a lot of respect for them. I am not high risk (just mild asthma) and almost ended up in the hospital when we all caught it back in March. Covid is not the flu or a "bad cold" as so many seem to think!

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42 minutes ago, SKL said:

I haven't had that experience.  I guess I live in a "you do you" kind of place.

Some of those things would not bother me though.  People don't know you are extremely high risk.  It is generally understood that playing outdoors is not risky unless the person is right in your face for an extended time period.

6 feet still applies outside though. 

37 minutes ago, rebcoola said:

I tried going to church once since they moved inside and people will not stay away.  They kept coming up for hugs.  I think they thought we had come to our senses.  

I am pretty sure that's what our church members would think if we showed up. Really conflicted about going back after this is all over, but I don't know where I'd go locally that isn't similar.

I think the mean and aggressive anti-maskers are like road rage. As usual, it's the people behaving badly that express the rage when others won't be bullied.

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I don’t mind the “you do you” attitude.  It’s my own attitude.

I don’t expect others to do what I do, but I would like to be accorded the same space and respect I give to others.

 It’s the aggressive imposing of someone else’s beliefs and potential germs on my family that I find upsetting, in violation of our state’s mandates.

They don’t know our immune status, but they could follow our state’s mask mandate.  And they absolutely know about staying 6 feet apart, masks, etc,  because they are in offices with signs everywhere.  It’s clearly on purpose.

Like I said, the picnic people didn’t bother me as much, we just left.  But letting their kid jump in circles around our blanket was weird. It would have been weird in the BeforeTimes, too, frankly.

“You do you” isn’t what most of these people are doing, here.  Getting within two - four feet of us on purpose and speaking loudly, obviously aware that we are uncomfortable isn’t “you do you.” Smiling, smirking, and laughing while they do it isn’t “you do you.”  It’s obnoxious and rude.  

Willfully violating our state’s indoor mask mandate (ER EMT tech, dental office staff) and being aware that it makes a patient uncomfortable - that’s not “you do you” either. 

I don’t want to argue with anyone here about what makes them uncomfortable.  Whatever works for you is fine.  You have your reasons, I have mine.  I’d like to think that those of you who say these situations would not make you uncomfortable are kind and considerate, and that if I ran into you in an office, and you didn’t have your mask on despite our state’s laws, you would not deliberately smile (smirk) and start whistling toward my masked 80 yr old mother in her hospital bed.  Or chase my DH across a room as he backs up, speaking loudly, trying to stay within three feet of him and laughing.  Or, or, or... You would know that we have our reasons, as you have yours, and not be deliberately aggressive.  

Obviously we are masked.  We respect these people’s choices not to mask, but they don’t respect our choices.  It should be a two way street, and it’s not.

Thanks for listening to my JAWM vent.

DH and I are on our way back to the garage, to pick up our vehicle.  Fingers crossed the same guy isn’t there.  (And now fantasizing about a cattle prod, or just spraying a cloud of Lysol when he sticks his nose penis in DH’s face!)
 

 

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I've only had one person come up to me while grocery shopping to try to "educate me" on how wrong I was to wear a mask.  I just don't come into contact with many people at all so little chance of it happening.  

We have had groups do mask burning parties around here.  This was a kick in the teeth for the mask sewing group.  You could see plainly in social media photos entire boxes of handmade masks made by the group being burned.  I have no idea how they got their hands on them as those masks were distributed specifically to hospitals, doctor's offices, schools, and home health aides only.  

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2 minutes ago, skimomma said:

I've only had one person come up to me while grocery shopping to try to "educate me" on how wrong I was to wear a mask.  I just don't come into contact with many people at all so little chance of it happening.  

We have had groups do mask burning parties around here.  This was a kick in the teeth for the mask sewing group.  You could see plainly in social media photos entire boxes of handmade masks made by the group being burned.  I have no idea how they got their hands on them as those masks were distributed specifically to hospitals, doctor's offices, schools, and home health aides only.  

That's horrible!!! 

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I JAWY, and not because you told me to. There are some dear ones in my life who just don’t get it. They range from just not being careful and being exasperated with me to a couple who show open hostility about masking, claiming the whole thing is so overblown. We have stopped going to church entirely because there are just too many there who won’t abide by the guidelines. I feel your pain.

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7 minutes ago, Spryte said:

 

Obviously we are masked.  We respect these people’s choices not to mask, but they don’t respect our choices.  It should be a two way street, and it’s not.

 

 

 

This is how I feel too. I have not told one person they should wear a mask. I have not shamed anyone or attempted to educate anybody. Yet, we get mocked, scolded, and in the case of my son in the grocery store, yelled at. Why doesn’t the respect go both ways?

 

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2 minutes ago, teachermom2834 said:

This is how I feel too. I have not told one person they should wear a mask. I have not shamed anyone or attempted to educate anybody. Yet, we get mocked, scolded, and in the case of my son in the grocery store, yelled at. Why doesn’t the respect go both ways?

 

Because anti-maskers don't respect you or anyone else.  They are selfish jerks, plain and simple. 

If they respected others, they wouldn't be anti-maskers.

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10 minutes ago, EKS said:

They should feel judged.  They're selfish idiots.

I would guess people saying like this is contributing to the problem 😉 . 

I think their ACTIONS are selfish. Unfortunately, I don't think they BELIEVE them to be selfish. They've been given bad information and they've chosen to take it. It's really unfortunate, but it is what it is. 

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Just now, Not_a_Number said:

I would guess people saying like this is contributing to the problem 😉 . 

I think their ACTIONS are selfish. Unfortunately, I don't think they BELIEVE them to be selfish. They've been given bad information and they've chosen to take it. It's really unfortunate, but it is what it is. 

I'm just acknowledging that they ARE being judged, so their assessment of the situation is accurate.   If speaking the truth is contributing to their poor behavior, so be it. 

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Just now, EKS said:

I'm just acknowledging that they ARE being judged, so their assessment of the situation is accurate.   If speaking the truth is contributing to their poor behavior, so be it. 

Yeah, I've certainly contributed to it, too. But I do think that this behavior is a reaction to the (however reasonable) judgment. 

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I have had aggressive non masked pan handlers,

one woman who grabbed hold of me in a store and I was worried it was a wallet snatch attempt even more than a masking issue,

and a strange guy in a parking lot where I was similarly concerned about mugging or car jacking or ? as much as concerned about CV19–someone else came to my aid with that one? and I have been avoiding that store and its parking lot since - which is unfortunate.

I think problems must be on rise because another stores seem to have security guards wandering around now. 
 

A relative in her 80s was grabbed in stores twice and we are afraid of falls being caused for her as well as cv19

 

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45 minutes ago, Spryte said:

Like I said, the picnic people didn’t bother me as much, we just left.  But letting their kid jump in circles around our blanket was weird. It would have been weird in the BeforeTimes, too, frankly.

Yeah, some people just have unusual ideas about what kids should be allowed to do.  Though in a case of just hopping around, I would tell myself the kid probably has some special needs or is a big-for-his-age toddler.  I know that doesn't mean they can't have Rona, but on the other hand, folks with special needs need fresh air too.  (I know you aren't really complaining about the child, but the overall attitude you are seeing with obnoxious adults.)

A few weeks ago, we were walking in a park, and a family with a European accent was there with a couple of school-aged boys.  The boys were throwing rocks, some of them aimed to hit us.  They did hit my 60+yo friend.  The parents seemed to think this was normal boy behavior.  Maybe it is where they come from, but I was ready to tell somebody off if they didn't fix their aim.

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1 minute ago, SKL said:

Yeah, some people just have unusual ideas about what kids should be allowed to do.  Though in a case of just hopping around, I would tell myself the kid probably has some special needs or is a big-for-his-age toddler.  I know that doesn't mean they can't have Rona, but on the other hand, folks with special needs need fresh air too.  (I know you aren't really complaining about the child, but the overall attitude you are seeing with obnoxious adults.)

A few weeks ago, we were walking in a park, and a family with a European accent was there with a couple of school-aged boys.  The boys were throwing rocks, some of them aimed to hit us.  They did hit my 60+yo friend.  The parents seemed to think this was normal boy behavior.  Maybe it is where they come from, but I was ready to tell somebody off if they didn't fix their aim.

That seems really inappropriate. Throwing rocks?? Ugh. 

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We recently had our first experience with aggressive non maskers. For our 26th anniversary, we picked up takeout (curbside) from a favorite taco place in the “Big City” (ha ha), which we hadn’t even driven to since last February, then headed to a rocky “beach” for a picnic. The area is really just a rocky cliff overlooking the ocean—very easy to stay away from people, which is why we chose it.

At some point someone’s off leash dog (illegal) ended up with his large face right in mine, scaring me half to death. The incident escalated with the owner screaming at us about not wearing masks (we were literally eating and no one had been around), even though none in their family of 5  were either. The guy got right in my face screaming at me while his wife took pictures. ?? It was very strange, and a totally sucky way to mark what had been a nice quiet celebration. 
 

To make it worse, it was a really big deal to get DH to agree to the picnic in the first place, because it did mean kinda sorta being in a public area. If you know the Maine coastline you know that “ public” here isn’t the same as most places—even though it was a gorgeous day we only saw a handful of people, but still it’s the most we’ve done in ages. The aggressive family reaffirmed to DH that we are better off basically not leaving our house. 😞 
 

 

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@MEmama Happy belated Anniversary!  You planned one seriously cool celebration, and hopefully the good parts out weigh the craziness of encountering the weirdos.
 

I hope that crummy experience didn’t color the whole day, and that you took away some wonderful memories of celebrating your anniversary.

 

I wonder if the aggressive anti-maskers are just getting worse, more aggressive, the more time passes?

 

People can be just so awful, sometimes.  I just don’t get it.

 

Nothing crazy at the car place today.  We have the vehicle home now, everyone was masked properly indoors, and no one chased DH around with an unmasked nose. Whew.  I did see two guys that work there standing outside, unmasked, not distanced, just hanging out talking, but that doesn’t bother me.  
 

@SKL Was your friend who was hit by the rock ok?  Oh my goodness, that’s just rotten.  I hope they are ok!  We have a serious “no throwing rocks policy” here, as I witnessed a kid being hit in the eyebrow with a rock, as a child.  He needed stitches, blood was everywhere, and it was traumatizing.  I’m sure he has a huge scar, as an adult.  Poor kid. My kids got the “no throwing rocks” rule right away.

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2 minutes ago, Spryte said:

@MEmama Happy belated Anniversary!  You planned one seriously cool celebration, and hopefully the good parts out weigh the craziness of encountering the weirdos.
 

I hope that crummy experience didn’t color the whole day, and that you took away some wonderful memories of celebrating your anniversary.

 

I wonder if the aggressive anti-maskers are just getting worse, more aggressive, the more time passes?

 

People can be just so awful, sometimes.  I just don’t get it.

 

Nothing crazy at the car place today.  We have the vehicle home now, everyone was masked properly indoors, and no one chased DH around with an unmasked nose. Whew.  I did see two guys that work there standing outside, unmasked, not distanced, just hanging out talking, but that doesn’t bother me.  
 

@SKL Was your friend who was hit by the rock ok?  Oh my goodness, that’s just rotten.  I hope they are ok!  We have a serious “no throwing rocks policy” here, as I witnessed a kid being hit in the eyebrow with a rock, as a child.  He needed stitches, blood was everywhere, and it was traumatizing.  I’m sure he has a huge scar, as an adult.  Poor kid. My kids got the “no throwing rocks” rule right away.

Thank you! 🙂 

I'm glad the car pick up went better for you today. Also I’m going to think of your phrase “nose penis” every time I see someone wearing their mask only over their mouth. Lol 

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2 minutes ago, MEmama said:

Thank you! 🙂 

I'm glad the car pick up went better for you today. Also I’m going to think of your phrase “nose penis” every time I see someone wearing their mask only over their mouth. Lol 

Hahaha!  It sounds better in German!  But translates to nose penis, and is just so accurately descriptive... 🤣

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46 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

Yeah, I've certainly contributed to it, too. But I do think that this behavior is a reaction to the (however reasonable) judgment. 

Note that I don't say such things to their faces, nor do I ever confront anyone about lack of masks.  In fact, I've never publicly stated such a thing until this thread.

I will also say that I think that deep down, most of them know that what they are doing is wrong.

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5 minutes ago, Spryte said:

 

@SKL Was your friend who was hit by the rock ok?  Oh my goodness, that’s just rotten.  I hope they are ok!  We have a serious “no throwing rocks policy” here, as I witnessed a kid being hit in the eyebrow with a rock, as a child.  He needed stitches, blood was everywhere, and it was traumatizing.  I’m sure he has a huge scar, as an adult.  Poor kid. My kids got the “no throwing rocks” rule right away.

Friend was OK.  It was just a minor nuisance in the grand scheme, but it is amazing what people let their kids do. 

I accidentally hit my kid brother with a rock as a kid.  I was just trying to see how far I could throw, but my aim went bad.  So yeah, if I saw my kid flinging rocks around, I'd shut that down immediately.  It was doubly bad because we were in a national park with protected areas, and the majority of the rocks were being thrown into the protected areas.  Even if the parents didn't see the kids hit other humans, they should have told them not to throw rocks there.

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40 minutes ago, SKL said:

Yeah, some people just have unusual ideas about what kids should be allowed to do.  Though in a case of just hopping around, I would tell myself the kid probably has some special needs or is a big-for-his-age toddler.  I know that doesn't mean they can't have Rona, but on the other hand, folks with special needs need fresh air too.  (I know you aren't really complaining about the child, but the overall attitude you are seeing with obnoxious adults.)

A few weeks ago, we were walking in a park, and a family with a European accent was there with a couple of school-aged boys.  The boys were throwing rocks, some of them aimed to hit us.  They did hit my 60+yo friend.  The parents seemed to think this was normal boy behavior.  Maybe it is where they come from, but I was ready to tell somebody off if they didn't fix their aim.


oh no!!!  Is your friend okay?

 I have some permanent eye damage from a child throwing a rock at me.  (A girl in my case.)

I hate that “normal boy behavior “ or “boys will be boys “ attitude.  Parents need to be proper parents and stop it.

I hope it is being reported to police

 

 

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12 minutes ago, EKS said:

Note that I don't say such things to their faces, nor do I ever confront anyone about lack of masks.  In fact, I've never publicly stated such a thing until this thread.

I will also say that I think that deep down, most of them know that what they are doing is wrong.

I agree.  I do think most of them know what they are doing is wrong, but I’ve never said anything to a non-masker.  
 

I do often think of the marshmallow study though.  You know the one where the kid gets a marshmallow, and if they can delay gratification for a time, they can have two marshmallows?  I often think going maskless is the marshmallow, and that the people who just wanted to eat their one marshmallow right away really impact those of us who waited.  It’s like we all get less marshmallows because the few wanted theirs right away.  I can’t stand marshmallows, by the way!

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Some of your experiences are just awful.    A friend of mine's 17 year old daughter had an aggressive customer come into her job and basically walk over and breathe on her when she said he needed to wear a mask inside the store.   My oldest daughter (26) works as a store manager in a mall and has had to constantly tell people they can't come in without a mask, but she hasn't had anyone be very aggressive, just argumentative.  

At my business, I've mostly dealt with people removing their masks when I'm not in the room or wearing obviously mesh masks.  I think I've pretty much dealt with all of that so we're good at this point.

Mask compliance around here is pretty good but I mainly go into large chain stores so maybe it would be different if I was going into smaller stores or service locations.  

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2 hours ago, Spryte said:

I agree.  I do think most of them know what they are doing is wrong, but I’ve never said anything to a non-masker.  
 

I do often think of the marshmallow study though.  You know the one where the kid gets a marshmallow, and if they can delay gratification for a time, they can have two marshmallows?  I often think going maskless is the marshmallow, and that the people who just wanted to eat their one marshmallow right away really impact those of us who waited.  It’s like we all get less marshmallows because the few wanted theirs right away.  I can’t stand marshmallows, by the way!

I read an article that used that exact comparison! 

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4 hours ago, Not_a_Number said:

Yeah, I've certainly contributed to it, too. But I do think that this behavior is a reaction to the (however reasonable) judgment. 

I disagree. The primary issue for the OP is the aggression. While she (and many others) feel that not masking is unwise, our behavior hasn’t been aggressive. Walking farther away from someone, walking away from the picnic area, backing away are all non confrontational behaviors. 

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Just now, Jean in Newcastle said:

I disagree. The primary issue for the OP is the aggression. While she (and many others) feel that not masking is unwise, our behavior hasn’t been aggressive. Walking farther away from someone, walking away from the picnic area, backing away are all non confrontational behaviors. 

I agree. I don't think this is the OP's fault or that they are reacting to her judgment. However, I do think anti-maskers feel judged by SOCIETY, and are responding aggressively. 

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6 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

However, I do think anti-maskers feel judged by SOCIETY, and are responding aggressively. 

I'm not following you here. So Ms Antimasker decided not to wear a mask nicely, then felt judged and responded in an aggressive manner? 

Depending on where you live it seems just as likely that society is "judging" Maskwearers. Are people responding aggressively to that and i haven't heard about it? I don't keep up with all the Covid threads, so I mean this as a true question. 

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1 minute ago, SusanC said:

I'm not following you here. So Ms Antimasker decided not to wear a mask nicely, then felt judged and responded in an aggressive manner? 

Depending on where you live it seems just as likely that society is "judging" Maskwearers. Are people responding aggressively to that and i haven't heard about it? I don't keep up with all the Covid threads, so I mean this as a true question. 

I just get the sense that they have heard the message that one is supposed to stop the spread, and that a lot of the aggressive posturing is defiance. Like, you know, "screw you! I'm going to live my life!" So yes, it does wind up looking like judgment against mask wearers, but I think that's because if they weren't angry, they'd have to admit they were being careless with other people's lives. 

I could be wrong, of course. That's just the sense I've gotten from talking to people. 

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