athena1277 Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 Dd (4yo) started therapy for sensory food aversion a few months ago. She’s always been a very picky eater, but she had started “losing” foods. I know this kind of therapy is a slow process, but in the meantime she’s still losing foods. Tonight for supper she ate a little cheese and apple juice. The meal used to be one of her most favorite foods. I am so frustrated. I’m trying to be patient, but it’s getting harder. We have other food issues in our family, so dinner is especially hard to prepare so that everyone eats. I’m nearly at the point that I want to just tell her to eat or be hungry, but I know that kids like her will choose to be hungry. Please tell me this gets better. I only have one friend that’s been through this and her kid is autistic, so it’s not quite the same. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 It does. BTDT. On a side note, have you also done allergy testing on this kid? And ruled out reflux? I find when there is regression it’s often that something else is stressed out—an anxiety uptick, an allergy flare, etc. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalmia Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 I was this kid and my daughter (15) was this kid. My son is autistic and he has some food aversions too, but in many ways my and my daughter's are worse. If I had known about feeding therapy, I would have had my daughter in it. The food-chaining idea they use seems like a good one. She definitely pruned out foods around the age of your daughter. I didn't work on it enough as I was sympathetic to her being a picky eater as well. I once sat at the table crying, refusing to eat one bite of a string bean before I'd be allowed to leave the table (the one and only time my mom tried to do something about my picky eating). I finally ate it, it was just as horrible as I suspected, and I projectile vomited my whole meal onto the table. After that, my mom let me eat what I wanted. But in my case, my few foods were a kind of well-rounded plate. My daughter was limited but well rounded, too, but then she got tenderhearted about meat animals and stopped eating meat. Generally, I would think this was a good thing, but she already didn't eat: nuts, beans, rice, soy, tofu, dairy products, eggs, or peanuts. So basically no complete proteins and down to about 8 foods--mostly fruits and vegetables and crackers that she would eat. I supplemented with vitamins and minerals. The doctor told me teenagers were "air plants" and survived on nothing. I am pretty sure her lack of fat and meat and the over-dependence on carbs in her teenage diet will catch up with her. But other than recently making a tradeoff that if she wants French fries, she has to eat a half cup of strawberry yogurt (with a Lactaid pill, because she is lactose intolerant). She loves fries more than any other food, so that was my only leverage. She does look a little bit healthier with some protein, but I am sure there will be repercussions in the future. Still, I can't encourage you enough to tackle this when your daughter is young. The teenage years are not the time for battling over food. Also don't do what I did. Once she refused foods she used to like long enough and they got wasted and tossed out, I stopped buying them. I think it would have been better not to worry about waste and present the formerly eaten foods on the plate every day so that she did not forget that they were once acceptable. Sorry I don't have a great solution. I eat about 10 more things than I did when I was young. Many foods just really taste very bad to me (they cannot possibly taste the same to other people). I liken it to tacos for my husband with the hottest hot sauce being given to a baby used to a taco shell and cheese. Thats how other people's favorite foods taste to me. I also can taste very subtle differences in ingredients, which is usually a bad thing. No substituting brands for me! I once drove 20 minutes to a store to get Heinz catsup for the 4th of July burgers because my parents had provided Hunts, which I tried and spat out. Hence the food chaining thing might be a very good idea. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drama Llama Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 I've had a fair amount of experience with kids with feeding issues, not just in kids with ASD, but most of it in kids who had some kind of disability, including students with various developmental disabilities, and my own child with severe medical issues. Because of my son's issues, I've also done a fair amount of reading about feeding issues. In my experience, feeding issues can be really difficult, and can lead to anxiety in both the parent and the child. For us, addressing that anxiety was key because it was impacting our relationship and my kid's development. I'm happy to share more thoughts or experiences or resources if you're looking to problem solve. I've also been in the situation where I had advice overload and was trying to figure out who to listen to, and more thoughts or experiences wouldn't have helped at all. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lecka Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 My son has autism so not the same.... Has anybody said to you they have nutritional concerns about your child? If not, no one meal is make or break. Try not to be frustrated — your child is in therapy and you are addressing it. Be patient. I agree with pp — at a certain point, rule out other things. You can ask your feeding therapist. I would hear about kids getting referrals for swallow studies if they didn’t make progress after xx time. I would hear it for pre-school age. Agree about checking on reflux and allergies. Also maybe anxiety. This is a little laissez-faire attitude of me — but to a great extent, there is a big difference between kids who have or haven’t had someone express concerns about nutrition. My impression — this is usually preemies, or kids with a genetic disorder. Other than that — it is still important!!!!!!!! It’s still worth doing feeding therapy and trying to expand foods!!!!!!! But it’s often not really something where a kid literally isn’t getting enough to eat and is going to have a consequence with growth or health. Its something you can ask about. Anyway — that makes me feel better! That is what I think. I am someone where — my son “could” have had feeding therapy, but is was optional, and I didn’t do it. He had a restricted enough number of foods, but it wasn’t “really” restricted and he would eat protein. Good luck! It is so stressful!!!!!! I bet you are doing things in a really good way 🙂 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalmia Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 Oh, I have also read that distracted eating (which is often a bane to folks trying to lose weight) can be great for people who need to eat more in general or need to eat more veggies or are picky. So when the kid is engrossed in a TV show or video, set a plate of not-too-messy foods beside them without comment. Since they are not focused on the food itself, being distracted by the activity, they are more likely to pop some in their mouth without the same anxiety they would when confronting the same plate at the dinner table. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lecka Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 This is something I asked one time too, and this was specific to me (I don’t know if it’s a blanket recommendation for any age, size, etc) but I asked and was told for my son — if he seemed like he had normal energy and acted like he felt fine — he could have an extremely, extremely low food intake for two weeks and it wouldn’t be a concern as far as — nutrition, health, growth, etc. That was something I could think of, too, to feel better. I think (but don’t remember specifically) I was also told it was okay to look at food over a week, and it wouldn’t matter if on any one particular day there was not a lot eaten. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drama Llama Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 3 minutes ago, Lecka said: This is something I asked one time too, and this was specific to me (I don’t know if it’s a blanket recommendation for any age, size, etc) but I asked and was told for my son — if he seemed like he had normal energy and acted like he felt fine — he could have an extremely, extremely low food intake for two weeks and it wouldn’t be a concern as far as — nutrition, health, growth, etc. That was something I could think of, too, to feel better. I think (but don’t remember specifically) I was also told it was okay to look at food over a week, and it wouldn’t matter if on any one particular day there was not a lot eaten. I absolutely agree 100% with this for all but kids with the most severe medical issues, and looking at food this way can make the task of feeding them seem much less overwhelming. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
City Mouse Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 (edited) I want to add that she is not diagnosed as having autism yet. My now adult DD had the same type of food issues. I remember spending one summer food chaining to get her to eat other fried “nugget” type foods when she was in middle school and the lone meat she ate was chicken nuggets. When she was in 9th grade, I suspect that her doctor thought she was anorexic. She got down to 100lbs at 5’5” because all she was eating then was microwave pop corn. My DD was diagnosed as having autism when she was in college. She was much too verbal in the preschool and elementary years to raise any red flags for autism back then. Edited December 3, 2020 by City Mouse 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matrips Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 When my kids ot for retained reflexes (and oh how I wish I knew about that earlier!), I remember being amazed at the how retained reflexes can present in a child’s life. I know sensory was a huge part; I do not remember how or if food was involved. But knowing how fixing reflexes helped my kids, I recommend at least looking into an evaluation. Our OT specialized in reflexes; a teacher gave me her name. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 Modular meals and allowing kids to dish their own helped a lot as the kids got older here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 My ds and dd both have autism. They're both young adults now but continue to have some issues with food. My ds has always been a very picky eater...and I would say he's in the supertaster category. For my dd, digestive issues are involved. Will your dd eat melted cheese? My dd needs protein, but foods like eggs, peanut butter, and soy don't agree with her and she didn't want to eat meat. But when I started giving her "cheesy meat" she would eat it...no fancy cheese sauce, just her favorite shredded cheese melted over very small pieces of white meat chicken, pork, or bland meatloaf in the microwave oven. She also uses mayonnaise the way other people use ketchup for dipping. I would also try to avoid fruit juice for awhile if possible...even keep it out of the house if necessary to avoid fussing... and just offer water with meals. I second Kalmia's suggestion about trying distracted eating. I had to do this with my ds when he was younger. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 2 hours ago, Lecka said: Has anybody said to you they have nutritional concerns about your child? If not, no one meal is make or break. Try not to be frustrated — your child is in therapy and you are addressing it. Be patient. My kiddo with ASD, ADHD, and (previously) sensory issues was actually a sensory seeker with food, so there is quite the spectrum of food issues. I know a LOT of people with ADHD qualities that seem to need a lot of stimulation with food--lots of hot peppers, strong flavors, an entire gallery of textures in one dish, etc. I think society needs to recognize that what is sometimes seen as a good trait and praised with a moral value attached doesn't always come from a place of typical responses! Anyway, I was a sensory issue kid with food, and it's miserable. I ate more than what it sounds like your child would eat, but I hated having to eat in public, eat at a new restaurant without lots of guidance, and eating with new people. I was a super taster and a super smeller, though the smell part is what kept me from trying new things. If someone cooked broccoli, cauliflower, or cabbage (or worse, had sauerkraut), I would feel so sick from smelling it that I wanted to weep and didn't even want to eat what I had on my plate. It's like asking someone to eat with a spraying skunk in the room. I had very few things based on taste because if I couldn't get past the smell, I never tasted it. Texture was the biggest problem--so many things felt gross. I eat a lot of things I wouldn't eat as a kid, but quite a few things changed. My sense of smell has normalized quite a bit. I am more tolerant of texture. I also realized that a lot of food when I was a kid was not as fresh or tasty as food I can get now--we lived rurally, so food was either basically perfect because we grew it, or we picked it at a local orchard, or it was canned/frozen. "Fresh" from the store was not necessarily particularly good, ripe, etc. because it came from elsewhere. Once I kind of understood these things, I would be more willing to try things again under differing circumstances. I also learned that if smell/taste were fine, and texture was the issue, I could try a different form of the same thing--I liked spaghetti sauce and pureed fresh tomatoes, but it took a LONG time to eat any form of fresh tomato without it being pureed or cooked to death. I started with firmer tomatoes and then moved on, but it was clear that a lot of what I thought of as tomato texture was really grainy store tomatoes. I was much more likely to try things when the offer was casual vs. high stakes, had no moral value attached to my likes or dislikes, there was some social pressure or solidarity (when I was high school or older), etc. I was also one of those people that could taste and smell small differences in things. Sometimes it mattered, and sometimes it didn't. One of my kids was kind of picky--some of it is that chewing is difficult/exhausting with hypermobility. The other is that he seemed to like at least some moderate flavoring, and meat was kind of bland to him. We started marinating meat lightly, and he liked that. Eventually he realized that there was a big difference between "this makes me gag" and "I prefer not to eat this." I have never been that way--it's either fine to eat, or it makes me gag! During pregnancy, I had some food aversions (and some changed throughout pregnancy). I also found that some things just don't taste the same or as good permanently after having kids. My sense of smell changed a bit too, both good and bad. It makes sense to me that these sorts of things could be happening in kids' bodies as their nutritional needs change. Good luck! I hope you get to a point where there is some ability to reason through this with your child in addition to the therapy gains. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not_a_Number Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 In my experience, this is the worst age for food pickiness. DD8 is VERY picky about her eating. As a baby, she wouldn't be spoon fed. Between age 1 and 2, she barely gained any weight, because there were so few things she would eat. Even nowadays, she mostly subsists on hazelnut butter sandwiches, fruit, mac and cheese, and milk. She does eat ONE kind of cheese and sometimes rice, and she likes fried potatoes. It was a major victory when she started being able to eat pizza. Personally, we've tried not to stress about it, because we wanted her to have a good relationship with food. So as long as what she's eating is nutritionally sufficient, we don't really worry about the fact that she eats the same food over and over again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athena1277 Posted December 3, 2020 Author Share Posted December 3, 2020 2 hours ago, Kalmia said: Oh, I have also read that distracted eating (which is often a bane to folks trying to lose weight) can be great for people who need to eat more in general or need to eat more veggies or are picky. So when the kid is engrossed in a TV show or video, set a plate of not-too-messy foods beside them without comment. Since they are not focused on the food itself, being distracted by the activity, they are more likely to pop some in their mouth without the same anxiety they would when confronting the same plate at the dinner table. The first thing her therapist had us do as to stop distracted eating. Basically to make her more aware of the different foods she is eating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drama Llama Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 1 minute ago, athena1277 said: The first thing her therapist had us do as to stop distracted eating. Basically to make her more aware of the different foods she is eating. I feel like the question of distracted eating is about whether you're playing a short game or a long one. When my son first came home, and we were working with therapists who very much wanted him to be eating 100% by mouth and not using his feeding tube, they were big fans of distracted eating. We used distraction for other unpleasant medical stuff, and at that point, we treated eating the same way. Later, when we had a different therapy team who helped us embrace the feeding tube as something he'd have long term, and shifted our focus to decreasing his anxiety around food, and helping him find pleasure in food, they were pretty against distracted eating. I think there are places for both kinds of goals. We could focus on long term things because we knew his nutritional needs were met by the tube. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 DD was like that, and 20 years ago although they realized that it was part of the sensory avoidance issues, they didn't have therapy for it. I knew that if I pushed eating everything too much she would starve herself merrily into failure to thrive. I KNEW THIS. That's how she was. So what I did was insist on each meal having protein, carbs, and fruits/veggies, and each snack having at least two of those. I bought whole grain carbs to try to up the protein intake somewhat, and I avoided serving combo foods very much--no casseroles at all. This is an age where kids are usually growing a little less quickly so their intake can be spotty regardless, I was told. I tried not to show worry about it, and was successful. (I was actually pretty worried, though.) Also, I kept skinny women magazines out of the house completely, and never talked about losing weight ever. Honestly, I think we really dodged a bullet and that she could easily have ended up anorexic as well, given her anxiety issues. Later on she did try some more things when in group settings where she really, really wanted to be there and needed to choke things down to be able to participate, like a couple of group backpacking trips and some summer camps. Also friends introduced her to burritos and sushi, neither of which she would try in our presence, and she ended up liking some of those. So her tastes did broaden somewhat. I remember hellish days as a kid smelling my mom's horrendous beef stew all afternoon and then having to eat it, UGH UGH UGH. And throwing up scrambled eggs. I am sure my folks thought I was Miss Picky, and I am somewhat selective, but I eat a wide variety of foods that taste good to me, most of which I never discovered until I was away from home and out from under the SAD. So take heart. I'm happy for you that they have feeding therapy now. And I want to also encourage you to be in charge of this. If you see that it's tilting toward an eating disorder, be the one that sees that and stops it before it's too late. Eating disorders are extremely hard to shake. Don't let the therapists throw your kid out of the frying pan into the fire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 I have a formerly picky eater WITH ASD and a current picky eater without. My current one is 13 and making regular progress, and the former is 22 with *almost normal eating habits. Vegetables are still a huge issue for him, though not so much for the younger one who is still picky! I wish I could share exciting strides that were made quickly and early, but that wasn’t our experience. Neither has had direct professional treatment for this issue. For both my boys, the progress started in their tween years. Dinnertime has been complicated for me for the past 18/19 years or so. But not impossible. Just like when my youngest had to avoid all dairy products, these two have had needs even though they weren’t as easily understandable. While the baby had the ability to eat but would have gotten sick, the other two wouldn’t be able to eat without some degree of accommodation, which isn’t much better. Yes, it’s always been a frustrating pain, but I’ve tried to face it the same way I would any other special dietary need, like dairy or gluten or peanuts. But, yeah, there are still days when I want to quit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
East Coast Sue Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 (edited) My dd10 went through feeding therapy at about age 3. At that point she had regressed to a liquid diet except for cucumbers and Cheerios after having eaten a range of solid foods at the age of 1. She would projectile vomit if we pushed her to eat or even just if she smelled food cooking. It was really bad. She has lots of sensory issues and anxiety, and also reflux. It’s a tough mix of issues to handle but she is making progress. We celebrate trying new foods and “trying” includes touching, kissing (putting the food to your lips), and licking the food. Going low pressure works for us. Encouragement- yes, pressure- no. My youngest now eats many foods but the sensory issues with food are still a struggle when she is sick or stressed. Eating at school has been very hard and the school counselor had never heard of this type of problem, or she doesn’t believe it exists. Again, frustrating but I choose to partner with my kid and never doubt that the struggle is real. A suggestion- I don’t ask my dd if she likes a new food. I remind her that she shouldn’t really think about if she likes a food until her taste buds have sampled the food several times because it’s not fair to make a decision until you’ve given it several tries- I think some foods require 20 exposures before kids with sensory issues really know what they are tasting. It’s just too much to process the first few times. Edited December 3, 2020 by East Coast Sue Added a suggestion 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 2 hours ago, East Coast Sue said: I think some foods require 20 exposures before kids with sensory issues really know what they are tasting. It’s just too much to process the first few times. Interesting point! I think it's likely true--the potentially objectionable part shuts down all other ability to take things in. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drama Llama Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 21 minutes ago, kbutton said: Interesting point! I think it's likely true--the potentially objectionable part shuts down all other ability to take things in. To me, this is one of the reasons that a lot of the work families do around feeding needs to start by targeting anxiety as opposed to repertoire. I think that a kid who sits at the table, staring at a food wondering whether they'll be forced to eat it, and whether they'll be hungry that night, is just reinforcing their anxiety about the food. On the 21st time it's presented they'll be more scared of it, not less. For my son, when he first joined us, he needed very clear cues about which food he was going to have to make decisions about. Before he came I served everything family style, with a variety of dishes on the table, at least one of which was safe and familiar for my mildly picky eater, and the kids choosing which and how much to take. But, for my son with severe feeding issues that was too much to take. He'd sit and look back and forth between the "scary" food and my face and not focus on anything else. So, we ended up putting all the food on the counter, and seating him where he couldn't see it, and then putting two safe foods in very small quantities on his plate. He still got to choose which and whether and how much to eat, but it was a much more limited choice, and he still got exposed to that scary pizza, but it was little more distant because he didn't see it until it was on someone else's plate. Plus, because my other kids serve themselves, he didn't have the experience of watching people eat things they didn't like, so his anxiety about the pizza decreased. He never ate an actual slice of pizza. He didn't have the motor skills for that, but eventually he decided he wanted to try pizza so I made some orzo and added a little pizza sauce and a little soft cheese and some ground up sausage, and he ate "pizza pasta", and he liked it so much it became a regular part of his diet. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 My eldest, 14, has always been difficult in this way. The more choices she had, the more foods she refused. Honestly, I gave up trying to "meal plan" years ago. Right now, she's taking "teen foods" in high school. They talk about nutrition and stuff. With it being all remote, they have never used the kitchen so far, so I guess that means more focus on healthy eating? I do see some improvement, but we are far from what I considered "ideal" before I met this kid. She is incredibly healthy though. Takes vitamins to make up for her distaste for most foods. Unfortunately, she has become a bit too obsessed with "getting fat" in recent years. I don't know that she has any fat on her body. Well, this is just one of a long list of things we deal with. She also has OCD, and I'm not sure whether this is related to the food quirks or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 I noticed too that when my kids were little, they would get overwhelmed with too much on their plate. If we gave them little bits at a time, they'd inhale it and eat a LOT more food in the long run. And that's with pretty typical eaters. 1 hour ago, BaseballandHockey said: and then putting two safe foods in very small quantities on his plate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drama Llama Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 2 hours ago, kbutton said: I noticed too that when my kids were little, they would get overwhelmed with too much on their plate. If we gave them little bits at a time, they'd inhale it and eat a LOT more food in the long run. And that's with pretty typical eaters. For my bio kids, one of whom was what I'd call "typically picky" in that he had a lot of strong opinions about food when he was younger, but ate at least a couple things from each food group and was growing well, I think that using serving dishes and letting them serve themselves was enough to have this same effect. My younger kid, the pickier one, would generally take one food, eat it, and then serve himself again. It wasn't uncommon for him to just eat one or two things at a meal, even though he had enough variety if you looked at it over the week. But my youngest kid was never anxious about food, partially because he's just not an anxious kid, and maybe also because we don't ever pressure to eat, or maybe just because we got lucky. With my middle son, who had major anxiety about food, we needed to go further because he didn't just worry about what was on his plate, he worried about what was in the serving dishes. I'll note that I am very hesitant to take any credit for my bio kids eating. I can tell what we did, and how it turned out, but I don't know that there's causation here. I do know believe that things we did with my middle kid made a difference, but that's partially because we tried things that didn't work first. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 BTW, in 8th grade DD and I read "Food Rules" as part of her science studies--subject, Nutrition. It was a nice, succinct book that broke down the latest information in a way that was easy to absorb. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.