Kassia Posted November 28, 2020 Share Posted November 28, 2020 (edited) Hope this makes sense. Ds and his girlfriend live OOS and will be driving to visit us and her family for the holidays. Our home is on the way to her family's (they are on the other side of the state), so they will stop here first. Last year, they stopped here for one night, drove the rest of the way to her family home and stayed there for a while, then came back for a longer stay on their way back home. But this year, due to Covid, the plan is that they will stop here and stay for a while, then go visit her family, and then go home and just make the long drive without stopping at our house to minimize the risk of spreading anything from her home. When they were here last year, I made up a small batch of glazed nuts and put it in a little plastic container and sent it with them (ds' girlfriend likes them) to share with her family. No big deal. Well, on their way back when they stayed with us, they brought a huge basket of homemade and local treats in a big basket from her parents that was wrapped beautifully. I was so embarrassed after sending just the little thing of nuts. So, I was going to send them something again this year - just some local treats since I don't really make anything - and have ds and his gf bring it to them after they stop here. They won't be able to reciprocate since the kids won't be stopping by here on the way back, which is fine. They are really good to my son and I am just thinking of it almost as a hostess gift for my son to bring even though it comes from us. But then I realized that I don't want to start a tradition of sending them gifts every year. So, if you made it this far...what would you do? Would you send something just to be nice knowing that this might start a yearly tradition or not send anything? I hate this part of the holidays! Edited November 28, 2020 by Kassia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted November 28, 2020 Share Posted November 28, 2020 I think the tradition already got started last year 🙂 I would send something and would not mind if that became an annual tradition - it seems a rather nice one. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hippiemamato3 Posted November 28, 2020 Share Posted November 28, 2020 I think it's nice to do something for them. If they break up, you aren't obligated to do it every year and if they get married, you're already doing something nice for your new family ❤️ 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoodGrief3 Posted November 28, 2020 Share Posted November 28, 2020 I don't think I'd up the ante :-) Why not make the nuts again? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
math teacher Posted November 28, 2020 Share Posted November 28, 2020 I think I would go ahead and send the gift. I wouldn't want to regret it later. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted November 28, 2020 Author Share Posted November 28, 2020 28 minutes ago, regentrude said: I think the tradition already got started last year 🙂 I would send something and would not mind if that became an annual tradition - it seems a rather nice one. Thanks. I just don't want to go through the dilemma of what to get them every year. Her mom bakes a million things so it's a bit easier for her to just send a tray. I don't really bake and also I feel silly sending baked goods when I know they have a house filled with them already. 8 minutes ago, hippiemamato3 said: I think it's nice to do something for them. If they break up, you aren't obligated to do it every year and if they get married, you're already doing something nice for your new family ❤️ Thank you. They have been together for over 8 years, so I think marriage is definitely in the future. 4 minutes ago, GoodGrief3 said: I don't think I'd up the ante 🙂 Why not make the nuts again? I don't even know if they like them. I know ds' girlfriend does so I really sent them for her last year figuring she could just share with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matrips Posted November 28, 2020 Share Posted November 28, 2020 Well since they were really for the gf and just to share, it’s not like it was a gift for the parents. So I’d do the same again. They may have sent their basket with the same intention- as a gift to share and as a hostess gift from their daughter. I think keeping that mindset is easier than thinking you are sending the parents gifts. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted November 28, 2020 Author Share Posted November 28, 2020 1 minute ago, matrips said: Well since they were really for the gf and just to share, it’s not like it was a gift for the parents. So I’d do the same again. They may have sent their basket with the same intention- as a gift to share and as a hostess gift from their daughter. I think keeping that mindset is easier than thinking you are sending the parents gifts. I hadn't thought of it that way! That does make a lot of sense! I could just do food gifts every year that they travel this way. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted November 29, 2020 Share Posted November 29, 2020 It seems like your ds ought to be able to provide his own hostess gifts if he wants to. I'd drop it. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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