Are slow text responses weird to others? Or just me?

[Scarlett 28,913]

1 hour ago, RootAnn said:

Um, I do this because it seems rude to just jump into the question. So I did pleasantries ahead of mentioning I will be in town to pick up items on a certain day this week and then asked a question. Y'all just jump in? Like, "I'll be there on Wed between 11-1 & btw, where can I drop off donated books in your area?" No, "good morning! How's Doug's leg? Hope your roof isn't still leaking! That was quite the storm last night. Hey, so, I'll be in town on Wednesday & wondered if you'll be around for me to pick up those items you've been storing in your garage.. "

(Yeah, my texts are like short emails.)

You must be related to my dh.  😉

 

[Scarlett 28,913]

5 minutes ago, katilac said:

Less responsive to your initial text? No, I'd say a scatter-brained person is one who forgets to respond for a while (or thinks they did respond bc they thought about it!), but they can certainly be responsive to a text that they can actually see and read again as they respond, lol 

I jump in like it's a swimming pool on a ninety degree day. 

I mean, if Doug has recently broken his leg, then by all means ask about it, lol. Better yet, just say you hope he's recovering. "good morning, I hope Doug's leg is better! I'll be in town Wednesday, do you want me to pick up those books?" 

More likely for me, if Doug has not in fact broken his leg, "yo, Wednesday good to get books?" because obviously I have to be in town to get them, and they already know the items are in their garage, that's not stuff I have to tell them. 

In my texting world, we usually take care of business first, get those questions asked and answered. Then we may or may not get into a chat, either then or later, but we have the needed info. "yes, if before 12" or "no, gone all day" gets the question answered and is quick, whereas the person may be much slower to respond if they feel obligated to update you on Doug's leg and comment on the storm. 

Unlike a traditional letter or even emails/computer messages, the pleasantries and chatting via text are most often completely separate. If you text someone fairly often, you are definitely not expected to start each message with a greeting and a pleasantry. 

 

 

LOL....to the bolded yes this is exactly how I communicate.  

[SKL 58,131]

I think the pleasantry introductions are cultural ... not right nor wrong.

Personally I strive for conciseness and to increase the likelihood of very quick understanding.  For example, my text is likely to say "need milk"  or "Subway orders."  😛

Then again, I never text just to be friendly.  That is just not how I do relationships.  I will respond to another person's text, but usually not in a way to keep the chat going.

And there are some texts I never respond to.  Like my sister's commentary on things that pi$$ her off.  Either I keep quiet or I will respond to the last text with the shortest possible answer.  Like "Fun" or "Bummer."  I just don't have time for the back and forth ... and texting isn't easy for me ... so if a conversation is needed, let's just talk.

One more thing.  I am careful about texting because unintended readers can see my texts.  They pop up when I may or may not be next to my phone.  I've had my kids ask about a text from an ex-bf.  And then, unless you take steps to delete, the conversation is there on your phone forever.  Texting is definitely not private, so I think it is a mistake to expect intimate friend responses via text.

Edited November 23, 2020 by SKL

[ieta_cassiopeia 188]

For me, it depends on who it is. Some people I know will read and reply to texts within 10 minutes if expecting them, and failure to do so is interpretable as being an issue in certain contexts. Others  can go days without so much as looking at their phone, and I plan my communications with them accordingly - they're generally easier to contact by email, though not necessarily so fast that an urgent conversation is feasible. Some people exhibit both behaviours depending on context - I have one friend in particular who responds in 3 minutes flat if they're on a train and 3 weeks flat if they're at home (in the confirmed or suspected latter case, I online message instead).

 

Most people are in between, and I tailor my response according to the person and their established communication style. No assumptions are made regarding people I'm contacting for the first time.

 

I can respond to texts within 2-3 minutes unless it's an answer I need to research. Whether I send an "I'll look that up and get back to you" depends on known preferences of the user, but I default to "no". I do try to reply soon after I see the message because otherwise I forget to do so - but that's not much comfort if the sender's already waited a fortnight for a response and was expecting an answer within 1-2 days...

Occasionally I forget I even have a mobile phone because it's not something I use regularly - my parents put £20 on it due to a medical emergency abroad two years ago, and I still have £15 of the credit left. The friend I referred to earlier thinks I'm the Usain Bolt of text response, but only because they never text me unless I'm expecting them to do so.

[Scarlett 28,913]

1 hour ago, SKL said:

I think the pleasantry introductions are cultural ... not right nor wrong.

Personally I strive for conciseness and to increase the likelihood of very quick understanding.  For example, my text is likely to say "need milk"  or "Subway orders."  😛

Then again, I never text just to be friendly.  That is just not how I do relationships.  I will respond to another person's text, but usually not in a way to keep the chat going.

And there are some texts I never respond to.  Like my sister's commentary on things that pi$$ her off.  Either I keep quiet or I will respond to the last text with the shortest possible answer.  Like "Fun" or "Bummer."  I just don't have time for the back and forth ... and texting isn't easy for me ... so if a conversation is needed, let's just talk.

One more thing.  I am careful about texting because unintended readers can see my texts.  They pop up when I may or may not be next to my phone.  I've had my kids ask about a text from an ex-bf.  And then, unless you take steps to delete, the conversation is there on your phone forever.  Texting is definitely not private, so I think it is a mistake to expect intimate friend responses via text.

You can stop that from happening. 

 

[SKL 58,131]

3 hours ago, Scarlett said:

You can stop that from happening. 

 

I can stop it on my phone, but I have no control over who sees the texts I send to others.

[Scarlett 28,913]

7 minutes ago, SKL said:

I can stop it on my phone, but I have no control over who sees the texts I send to others.

Oh I see.  

[Jean in Newcastle 174,720]

17 hours ago, ktgrok said:

This. If it is something that requires an immediate answer (DH at the store needing to know which size pull ups) I respond immediately. If it is my mother texting a funny meme, not so much. 

same

LOL...I hear you on the "stay quiet rather than text something impolite back"

This brings up something.  Not all texts are equal and not all require a reply or at least a thoughtful reply.  A funny meme often just gets a LOL or an emoji - not necessarily because I think that the meme is hilarious but just to acknowledge that I got it.  I acknowledge those funny texts because the person who sent it (and their relationship to me) is what is important, not because I necessarily need to be entertained by memes.  As far as response time, though, I won't necessarily reply to those immediately because they don't need an immediate response. 

[frogger 4,642]

14 hours ago, SKL said:

 

One more thing.  I am careful about texting because unintended readers can see my texts.  They pop up when I may or may not be next to my phone.  I've had my kids ask about a text from an ex-bf.  And then, unless you take steps to delete, the conversation is there on your phone forever.  Texting is definitely not private, so I think it is a mistake to expect intimate friend responses via text.

Yeah, and then there are a couple people in my life who don't tell me they are on speaker phone in a car full of people. 🙄 So I'm pretty careful with some people. I prefer to tell people that they are on speaker phone. 

[SKL 58,131]

7 hours ago, frogger said:

Yeah, and then there are a couple people in my life who don't tell me they are on speaker phone in a car full of people. 🙄 So I'm pretty careful with some people. I prefer to tell people that they are on speaker phone. 

Yeah, same!  It should be obvious, but apparently it isn't!