Reclaiming the number 3

[Lori D.]

While I didn't see the thread, I understand that using three parenthesis to indicate hugs, sympathy, empathy, concern, support, love --  like this --> ((( hugs )))  -- is no longer "safe", because the number 3 is somehow connected to White Supremacists.

I don't see the number three specifically listed anywhere in this list of hate symbols designated by the Anti-Defamation League, but in case it is a more current social media trend that I missed out on since I'm not on social media, I am taking a stand. I use the hugs sign (with random number of parenthesis of hugging, it's not always three) all the time as a positive encouragement, and I am just DONE with the hate, violence, and tribalism taking over every good thing and making us live in fear that any well-meaning thing we might say or do is going to be taken the wrong way because some group has suddenly attached a negative symbology to a word, color, or number.

I am taking a stand to reclaim the number 3 for POSITIVE use for EVERYONE -- and to stand against the fear that we will "look like we support xyz hate group or extremist group" just because we use three parenthesis around a person's name as part of an OBVIOUS message of encouragement and hope. The "haters" don't get to have this one!!

The number three has an ancient and long standing POSITIVE and even mystical significance, and that long history means that the positive uses of the number three outweigh by far the petty, temporary, negative association with small minority extremist/hate groups. So there!

As School House Rock says 😉 , "Three is the Magic Number":

Three it the completeness of a human: body, mind, spirit.
Three is the number of new life/conception: father, mother, child.
Three is the smallest number needed to create a pattern.
Three is the principle at work in the Latin phrase “one triumph perfectum”: everything that comes in threes in perfect, or every set of three is complete.
Three has been called the number that is the perfect combination of brevity and rhythm.

In Christianity, three is the triune God: Father, Son, Spirit.
In Hinduism, three is the trinity of Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva.
In Islam, three is the number of washings to cleanse before prayer.
In Buddhism, three is the Tiratana, the three jewels of the Buddha, the Dharma (his teachings) and the Sangha (his followers).
In Judaism, three signifies completeness and stability, represented by the three Patriarchs (Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob) and the three pilgrimage festivals (Passover - blood of the sacrificial lamb protected from the angel of death; Shavuot - the giving of the Law; and Sukkot - celebrating the harvest and remembering the 40 years of wandering in the desert).


Meaning this number three as the very opposite of hate, violence, tribalism, and extremism -- and meaning it with all love and support for all you lovely people who participate here: ((( WTMers )))

Warmest regards, Lori D.

Edited November 2, 2020 by Lori D.

[J-rap]

((( I agree! )))

[Danae]

It's specifically anti-semetic, not just white supremacist.  Putting multiple parenthesis around the name to mark someone as Jewish has been a thing for at least five years. I think it started as a 4-chan thing. I'm not sure the number three is significant in the code.

[Jean in Newcastle]

In the context of offering comfort and encouragement to someone, only someone trying to reach a certain conclusion (ie. a divisive one) would interpret it that way.  I wouldn't worry about it.  Especially here and (hopefully) the kind of benign social media that we tend to frequent. 

[TAFKAPastry]

Yes, it’s not worth worrying about. Anyone can make anything suck, but that is really not common enough that I think most middle aged women on a message board or in the context of, say, a hugs and prayers encouragement thread on Facebook, are going to not understand the meaning.

I don’t do anything but say *hugs*, but I still think it’s much adieu about nothing. And I’m sure someone has opinions on privilege because of that, but who cares what some internet busybody thinks of you?

[happi duck]

I normally use (hugs) so it doesn't affect me but I do think it's worthwhile to know the bad use.  

Maybe someone has been the victim of jerks and seeing their name in three parentheses is a reminder.  Or maybe in a place more public than the hive a jerk might internally feel validated if they see a name in three parentheses without context that makes it clear that it is support.

So I don't think three parentheses needs to be forbidden at all costs but I also don't need to *start* using it.

Just my two cents!

[Lori D.]

44 minutes ago, Danae said:

It's specifically anti-semetic, not just white supremacist.  Putting multiple parenthesis around the name to mark someone as Jewish has been a thing for at least five years. I think it started as a 4-chan thing. I'm not sure the number three is significant in the code.

Found info about this. Yes, three parenthesis around the name has been co-opted from "cyber hugs" to be the "signal" for anti-Semites that someone is Jewish. 😩

[Jean in Newcastle]

3 minutes ago, Lori D. said:

Found info about this. Yes, three parenthesis around the name has been co-opted from "cyber hugs" to be the "signal" for anti-Semites that someone is Jewish. 😩

So yes, it's helpful to know that some people use a code like that.  But unless you are communicating with anti-Semites who are going to be receiving the code for their purposes, the code is not universal.  It's a specific code used by specific people to intentionally communicate specific things.  I guess I will try to use only one or two or four parentheses but if I slip and use three on an non-anti-Semitic site to non-anti-Semitic people, I'm not going to get my panties in a twist because I won't actually be communicating anything nefarious. 

[Lori D.]

1 minute ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

So yes, it's helpful to know that some people use a code like that.  But unless you are communicating with anti-Semites who are going to be receiving the code for their purposes, the code is not universal.  It's a specific code used by specific people to intentionally communicate specific things.  I guess I will try to use only one or two or four parentheses but if I slip and use three on an non-anti-Semitic site to non-anti-Semitic people, I'm not going to get my panties in a twist because I won't actually be communicating anything nefarious. 

Actually, I'm not stressed or worried about making a mistake. What I want is recovery for the good. 😄

While I wouldn't do this (for one thing, other than these boards, I don't participate in any social media, lol), I actually *feel* like organizing a "love blitz campaign" to take back the triple parenthesis to mean cyber hugs -- and steamroll the anti-Semite use. Like, encourage a week where everyone repeatedly hugs everyone else on social media, so that the anti-Semite usage becomes meaningless... 😉 Fighting hate and fear and divisiveness with hugs! 😄💞

[Jean in Newcastle]

21 minutes ago, Lori D. said:

Actually, I'm not stressed or worried about making a mistake. What I want is recovery for the good. 😄

While I wouldn't do this (for one thing, other than these boards, I don't participate in any social media, lol), I actually *feel* like organizing a "love blitz campaign" to take back the triple parenthesis to mean cyber hugs -- and steamroll the anti-Semite use. Like, encourage a week where everyone repeatedly hugs everyone else on social media, so that the anti-Semite usage becomes meaningless... 😉 Fighting hate and fear and divisiveness with hugs! 😄💞

I understand your heart but I don't think that the kind of people who use this kind of code deliberately to spread hate are going to respond to a "love blitz campaign".  It's not going to make a code that's used as a dog whistle in certain contexts meaningless.  People like that laugh and mock people like us.  I personally think that it's better to just show caring for people as part of our general outlook and interactions, not as some sort of week long thing. 

[Not_a_Number]

I don’t mind people using it on here AT ALL, and frankly didn’t associate it with the anti-Semitic nonsense I’ve seen elsewhere, but I also don’t think we can reclaim it 😉 . It’s used in certain circles. It’s now also used by people to denote Jewishness as a stand against that use. I don’t think anything we do on this forum will change that.

Edited November 2, 2020 by Not_a_Number

[Danae]

51 minutes ago, Lori D. said:

Actually, I'm not stressed or worried about making a mistake. What I want is recovery for the good. 😄

While I wouldn't do this (for one thing, other than these boards, I don't participate in any social media, lol), I actually *feel* like organizing a "love blitz campaign" to take back the triple parenthesis to mean cyber hugs -- and steamroll the anti-Semite use. Like, encourage a week where everyone repeatedly hugs everyone else on social media, so that the anti-Semite usage becomes meaningless... 😉 Fighting hate and fear and divisiveness with hugs! 😄💞

Exactly that sort of “hug blitz” is how I know it’s been around for at least five years.

[Acorn]

I would like the okay hand symbol back also. I’m realizing how I have used it in my job to communicate with coworkers from a distance. 
 

P.S. I never like when people’s names become slang or derogatory. I’d like respect for everyone’s name.