KungFuPanda Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 I am feeling soooo low. My only daughter moved out yesterday and I am in an absolute slump over it. I am not this mother! I was FINE when she went to college and she's not very far away, but this just feels so different and I'm completely blindsided by my reaction. I guess it's different now that she's 100% launched and I can't count on holiday breaks and school events to automatically land on my calendar. She left on the best of terms and I'm so proud of her. I expected my overriding emotion to be excitement for her. She's self-supporting, lives in the city like she always wanted, enjoys her job (as much as she can remotely), and has the sweetest long-term boyfriend. At her age I'd been on my own for YEARS, so I feel a bit hypocritical in thinking this is too soon. I want to put the training wheels back on! 42 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen A Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 Hugs, Panda! (and I agree with your thread tag! :)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 That's a big change. You get to be excited for her and miss her both, Mother's love. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaybee Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 My girls have all been out of the house for years now, but I still miss them (and distance is involved). So I can relate! Hugs, momma. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StillStanding Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 (edited) I feel your pain. I had (and am still having) a hard time letting go of my adult children. My oldest moved out completely six months ago. Although she had come back to do online graduate school ( because of covid), last semester she decided to move closer to the hospitals where she has to spend several days a week. She is engaged and will be getting married next October, so she is not coming back. Second child came back when covid hit and is doing online college but I am expecting her to move out as soon as it is safe to go back to campus. My youngest is a high school senior applying to college so he has a foot out the door as well. I really like the adults they have become but there are days that I get very melancholic for the babies they use to be. I have been homeschooling for over 20 years and now that chapter in my life is almost over and I have no clue what I want to do when I grow up. Hugs Edited October 26, 2020 by StillStanding 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted October 26, 2020 Author Share Posted October 26, 2020 1 minute ago, StillStanding said: I feel your pain. I had (and am still having) a hard time letting go of my adult children. My oldest moved out completely six months ago. Although she had come back to do online graduate school ( because of covid), last semester she decided to move closer to the hospitals where she has to spend several days a week. She is engaged and will be getting married next October, so she is not coming back. Second child came back when covid hit and is doing online college but I am expecting her to move out as soon as it is safe to go back to campus. My youngest is a high school senior applying to college so he has a foot out the door as well. I really like the adults they have become but I there are days that I get very melancholic for the babies they use to be. I have been homeschooling for over 20 years and now that chapter in my life is almost over and I have no clue what I want to do when I grow up. Hugs I'm in the same place. I wrapped up my 19th and final year of homeschooling when DS graduated in the spring. I'm ready to do SOMETHING else, but haven't quite determined what that might be. The pandemic sort of halted everything so I'm stuck at home most of the time when I've been on-the-go my whole entire life. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StillStanding Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 (edited) 10 minutes ago, KungFuPanda said: I'm in the same place. I wrapped up my 19th and final year of homeschooling when DS graduated in the spring. I'm ready to do SOMETHING else, but haven't quite determined what that might be. The pandemic sort of halted everything so I'm stuck at home most of the time when I've been on-the-go my whole entire life. Me too. This pandemic is doing a number on my mental health. I was very active in our homeschool co-op group, and taught tutorial classes. No more. Covid hit I am staying home ( I have only left my property three times since last March, as I have some health issues that put me at risk). I miss teaching classes, but I have no idea if I want to go back to teaching in a school full time. Some times I feel like a boat adrift in the ocean. I keep telling myself that this too shall pass. Keep strong. Edited October 26, 2020 by StillStanding 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
East Coast Sue Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 It’s great that you’ve launched her successfully and on good terms! Perhaps she’ll initiate more get togethers or phone calls- but I get the pain & heartache. (((Hugs))) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 I feel ya. Mine moved out in August. One thing I am doing with my two older kids is I’m gonna keep doing dinners* to bring them back home. I’m aiming for one weekend day a month, though it will be more on some months with holidays or birthdays. 🙂 This is what my MIL did years ago (though in her case, it was every Sunday). I always thought that was a smart idea. I have observed that the parent (typically mom) needs to be the assertive one about making these things happen. I think when moms wait around for the kids to make contact that sometimes doesn’t work out so well. Many young people could go a long while without ever thinking, “Gee I bet my parents would love to see me.” * Dinners: I enjoy making food for people but if that were not my cup of tea I would make it something else: every second saturday we get vegan pizzas and watch old movies; once a month we toast marshmallows around the firepit; every third Sunday we all gather to play Apples to Apples (or Cards Against Humanity, lol) and eat Subway sandwiches. Whatever. Just set up a ritual so months don’t go by without a word. 7 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ditto Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 It is really hard when they fly from the nest. Sending you hugs. I'm glad she is close by. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ditto Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 23 minutes ago, Quill said: I feel ya. Mine moved out in August. One thing I am doing with my two older kids is I’m gonna keep doing dinners* to bring them back home. I’m aiming for one weekend day a month, though it will be more on some months with holidays or birthdays. 🙂 This is what my MIL did years ago (though in her case, it was every Sunday). I always thought that was a smart idea. I have observed that the parent (typically mom) needs to be the assertive one about making these things happen. I think when moms wait around for the kids to make contact that sometimes doesn’t work out so well. Many young people could go a long while without ever thinking, “Gee I bet my parents would love to see me.” * Dinners: I enjoy making food for people but if that were not my cup of tea I would make it something else: every second saturday we get vegan pizzas and watch old movies; once a month we toast marshmallows around the firepit; every third Sunday we all gather to play Apples to Apples (or Cards Against Humanity, lol) and eat Subway sandwiches. Whatever. Just set up a ritual so months don’t go by without a word. This is such a great idea. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted October 26, 2020 Author Share Posted October 26, 2020 Nobody ever told me that the official launch would be harder than the college drop-off. I didn't even know that was an option. I was FINE with college drop off! My girl can definitely be tempted by food and she'll be back at least for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I may have texted her and told her she forgot her robe so she'd better just move back home. She didn't fall for it and gave me some nonsense about signing a lease. 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 I'm facing the big launch as of next summer. Technically she lives in a grown-up apartment now, but it hasn't felt that way at all. Perhaps because her roommie is a dear friend from college? Perhaps because she's still really close to her college campus? Perhaps because she still comes home a ton? But when she gets married and moves two whole states away, that will be the big cliff. Hugs for you, mama. Launching is hard. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 17 hours ago, KungFuPanda said: I am feeling soooo low. My only daughter moved out yesterday and I am in an absolute slump over it. I am not this mother! I was FINE when she went to college and she's not very far away, but this just feels so different and I'm completely blindsided by my reaction. I guess it's different now that she's 100% launched and I can't count on holiday breaks and school events to automatically land on my calendar. She left on the best of terms and I'm so proud of her. I expected my overriding emotion to be excitement for her. She's self-supporting, lives in the city like she always wanted, enjoys her job (as much as she can remotely), and has the sweetest long-term boyfriend. At her age I'd been on my own for YEARS, so I feel a bit hypocritical in thinking this is too soon. I want to put the training wheels back on! hugs. I know those feelings all too well. It's a bittersweet time. Happy for them, but so very sad to close this chapter of our lives. For the first time ever we will have a small gathering for Thanksgiving. Four of my kids & partners/spouses have other plans. 😞 I know I need to share them now with their in-laws but it still stings. And because it's covid, I can't just invite friends or extended family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 I think we will just follow DS wherever he goes. I hope he goes somewhere nice. 🙂 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 3 minutes ago, Carolina Wren said: I think we will just follow DS wherever he goes. I hope he goes somewhere nice. 🙂 “Good news, honey! The apartment a block away is also up for rent and they accepted my application! We’re going to be neighbors!” 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 Aw hugs. Mine was talking with friends and looking at apartments when the pandemic hit. He lost his job to Covid so is still here but it will be hard on me when he does leave. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 ((((Panda)))) I totally get it. Great, now I'm getting teary. Just a suggestion: The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday. This slim book really helped me to deal with a BS diagnosis I got. Hugs, W. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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