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I’m not a frequent cryer.


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I am sorry for your loss and yes, I can definitely see why you are so very sad.  How kind she was!  And yes, the hardest parenting I have encountered is with my adult children.  We all have to bite our tongues and love our kids, important people in our lives, anyway.

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What a lovely tribute. I'm glad you had a loving and generous woman in your life.

Let those tears flow, they sound appropriate and cathartic.

(((Hugs)))

Edited by maize
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Oh (( Carrie )) .

What a blessing, to have had Marcia in your life and your son's.

And

2 hours ago, Carrie12345 said:

...I am so grateful to have had the most wonderful person in my corner during one of the scariest times of my life.  I write this as a bit of a catharsis for myself, but also as a kind of PSA. 22+ years later, I have some scars.  How we handle disapproval or disappointment for things young people do matters both in the moment and for a lifetime.  I’m not sure I would be who I am if not for the impact of the unconditional love I received from a place I wasn’t expecting.  I might have only known shame and heartache.  I might not have found the confidence and pride I developed without someone constantly reflecting my worth back to me.  The messages we send matter.

Be a Marcia. 🙂 

I'm crying myself.

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I'm sorry for your loss.  It sounds like she not only understood her "job description" - she fulfilled it to the best of her ability.  

I have a friend who continued to have a relationship with her ex-mil even after she remarried.  she had three children with her first husband, but I watched her ex-mil with her dd with her 2nd husband.  She treated that little girl like she was one of her own grandchildren (she had many), even though the only "real" relationship was the half-sister of three of her actual grandchildren.  I've always considered her an example of "how to do it right".

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I have had to repeatedly step away from people I love to make room for other people to have what I want most. Stepping away is the true love. Yes, when they pass it hurts a LOT, and more, not less than if you have never stepped aside.

I know what you mean about people being there at the critical moments that were unsurvivable without them, and not there later. I have a lot of those moments. And some of those people were not ones that I stepped aside; it is far more complicated and they are far more mucked up. But they were there in the moment, when no one else was. I am alive and I am who I am because they were there.

She was wonderful, but so are you! So are you!

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Thank you for sharing. This was a lovely tribute and a powerful reminder of the impact we can have on others, especially young people. I’m sorry for your and your son’s loss. 

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