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Facebook- I am snoozing so many people- I just don't need to get upset


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I am snoozing people constantly. And so often, when they pop back up, it takes just 1-2 posts to snooze them again.

I can't answer your question. I post so rarely on facebook I wouldn't notice. I'm really just there for recipes, photos of grand-nieces and nephews, and announcements from a few groups.

 

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I’m not completely sure but people I snoozed most likely snoozed me too. It was after I had snoozed a dozen people for like the third or fourth time that I realized I was not enjoying much of FB and I mostly quit. I deleted my apps so I can only go on from my computer, which is a natural deterrent. It also curbs my likelihood of posting something unless I’ve really considered whether or not I want to bother. 

It seems to me that having barely been on there for the past couple of months has trimmed down my feed even more. I am not seeing political stuff at all really, just people’s grandkids, kitties and birthday posts.

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11 minutes ago, stephanier.1765 said:

I've snoozed several people but there are a couple of others where I wish I could just snooze them part time because they do post other things I'm interested in.

That was why I waited to do that with one poster.  I loved her other posts but right now, I just can't see lots of political garbage

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I've never snoozed anyone, but I have unfriended people who I thought were just getting too ugly about things.  I don't go to Facebook for drama.  I love seeing pics of people's families and pets, and seeing what they are up to.  I don't like seeing all the bitterness and ugliness.   It upsets me.

 

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I also unfriend rather than snooze. I don’t unfriend people who I disagree with unless I feel like they are being intellectually lazy and self righteous about their viewpoint. My FB has become a very nice place without them. 

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I periodically go through and cull my friends list, and I unfollow anyone who even once posts something annoying. I'm down to about 3 people and tons of cooking, canning, professional type groups, which is enough for me. And I check my feed once a week, which is more than enough. Studies show FB is bad for mental health anyway, and I just don't need that. There was one group I liked, so I just bop in and check that, still ignoring the feed. 

 

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1 hour ago, stephanier.1765 said:

I've snoozed several people but there are a couple of others where I wish I could just snooze them part time because they do post other things I'm interested in.

You can snooze the originator of the posts you don't like. Sometimes that's all it takes to fix it.

I don't mind overtly political stuff. I mind lies or sneering, nasty stuff. It's telling that very few of my friends on the other side of the aisle post stuff that is awful even though most post political things. On "my" side of the aisle (sort of--it seems to be leaving me behind), people are posting stupid stuff or sometimes neutral stuff. Lots of mean stuff and lies. That gets blocked eventually. 

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I used to tolerate people who only posted occasional distasteful (to me) political opinions, but no more. One post in that direction and I unfollow. It no longer feels like just politics but rather a completely different worldview. Hardly anybody writes anything anymore anyway. They just share what other people wrote. I might be interested in what they had to say, but I am not interested in their memes.


I also decided to mostly take my politics elsewhere. I still don’t like FB but  it is better for me now. I have some groups there that are important to me. Otherwise I would only drop in rarely.

Edited by Penguin
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Honestly, my life feels just as fulfilling without Facebook as with it. Those friends I worried I would lose contact with I made sure I had their phone number (luckily we can keep those for life now) or followed them on Strava. I didn't even need to move to instagram to keep everyone that was important to me, which was going to be my next social media outlet if I needed it.

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I've snoozed and unfollowed people. Those are the good people that just wont.shut.up. about politics on fb, but in person talk about all sorts of more interesting things. 

I unfriended the QAnon cult people. 

Interestingly, my MIL unfriended me. Disappointing, but not surprising.  

Edited by MissLemon
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8 hours ago, Ditto said:

I am so glad I don't have facebook!

Yep.  I still have to hear about it, though, from relatives complaining about each other.  I'm glad the extended family Thanksgiving is cancelled.  So many feuding folks.  I hope they get over it before Christmas.  

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I have FB because it's the best place for me to keep up with my extended family. One of my cousins left FB a few years ago and suggested we switch to a family e-mail. It died out because it was so much easier to keep up with people on FB. My cousin has never re-joined FB and now I have no idea what is going on in her life. 

My one FB rule is that I will not friend any co-workers. I know I'm old-fashioned but it surprises me to hear stories from co-workers about what they saw on other co-workers' FB pages. 

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23 minutes ago, klmama said:

Yep.  I still have to hear about it, though, from relatives complaining about each other.  I'm glad the extended family Thanksgiving is cancelled.  So many feuding folks.  I hope they get over it before Christmas.  

I only hear about Facebook here and in news articles. I don’t have an account, but sometimes visit Facebook pages of restaurants, as we’ve always, even pre-pandemic, tried to support local independent businesses over chains. Some of the smaller restaurants here seem to only have Facebook pages and not their own websites. Or if they have websites they are not really maintained and updated, so you need to go to Facebook for current hours and information.

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14 hours ago, TravelingChris said:

Well I want to be on Facebook since I belong to a number of medical groups and like to lend support.  I also generally like to hear how people are doing, see the great photos, etc.  I don;t mind football rivalry but the politics is just making me upset.

I've had a lot of medical support and information through facebook.  I also get a lot of local news and updates on facebook that I don't find anywhere else (I find this very annoying that you have to use social media for news).  I don't use it much for the social part, but I do like it for deals and local news/updates.  And I do enjoy seeing my friends and their families and the fun/happy updates.  I hate the drama and ugliness and try to avoid that, but I have some friends who usually post positive and uplifting things and I really enjoy their posts.  Some overshare and that can be annoying, but I figure that's my issue...  😛

ETA - I forgot to mention the homeschooling groups on FB.  I don't think I could have started homeschooling without the information I was able to get from our state homeschooling group.  It was SO helpful!  I also belonged to other homeschooling groups that were useful.  I also get so much information from the FB parents group from dd's college.  It is a great group of people.  The college also has many facebook pages with a lot of information that I wouldn't get elsewhere.  

 

Edited by Kassia
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Here’s something I found interesting: recently I was chatting with someone who I was once close friends with, in the before-Facebook world. I had come to feel negatively towards her because of things she is (always, constantly) posting on FB. But, since I haven’t been seeing her on FB, those negative feelings have faded. Then, we were chatting and she said something that cracked me up. And, with a jolt, I realized: this is why I loved her. This is why we became friends in the first place. She’s funny and down-to-earth and completely unpretentious. A few months ago, I thought perhaps our friendship was over, but since I have quit seeing her political and other opinion stuff that is hard to like, I “remembered” what I love about her. 

I have come to think Facebook is often harmful to society as a whole, and this may have something to do with it. We aren’t really meant to know every detail of someone’s mind, I don’t think, and, IRL, we can only manage to know a few people that thoroughly. FB gives you the illusion that you know someone well, without the true human connection of IRL shared history and inside jokes and meals and vacations and concerts together. In the before-Facebook world, I might have had, say, five positive IRL interactions with my friend with only maybe three awkward minutes when she made a remark about politics that I disagree with. But in the world with FB, especially in the era of COVID, where we may be going many months without any of the connecting human activity that creates feelings of closeness, but having many more negative interactions by seeing nonsense on their FB feed, it is a good way to strangle out the memories of fun and friendship. 

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I've snoozed about a third of my FB friends. Some people who are perfectly nice in person have become raving lunatics about a certain candidate and make every other post about that person. Even when I agree with the poster, I don't want my feed filled with angry political posts, so more than a few  political posts from either side gets a person snoozed. I did finally unfriend someone the other day. She's not someone I ever need to interact with in person and she copied and pasted a long political post that was both divisive and personally insulting to me. I thought, "I don't need this. I barely know this person." Snoozing so many has two advantages: my FB feed is a much better place and there's so much less content that I spend less time there.

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14 hours ago, Frances said:

I only hear about Facebook here and in news articles. I don’t have an account, but sometimes visit Facebook pages of restaurants, as we’ve always, even pre-pandemic, tried to support local independent businesses over chains. Some of the smaller restaurants here seem to only have Facebook pages and not their own websites. Or if they have websites they are not really maintained and updated, so you need to go to Facebook for current hours and information.

Don't you hate the places that don't have up-to-date websites?  That really bugs me.  I have noticed a growing trend in places having FB over websites though.   

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9 minutes ago, Ditto said:

Don't you hate the places that don't have up-to-date websites?  That really bugs me.  I have noticed a growing trend in places having FB over websites though.   

I also find that companies are more responsive to facebook messages than they are to responding to the contact forms on their website.  

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52 minutes ago, Ditto said:

Don't you hate the places that don't have up-to-date websites?  That really bugs me.  I have noticed a growing trend in places having FB over websites though.   

I absolutely hate this.  I want business and doctors to have websites, not Facebook. 

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42 minutes ago, Kassia said:

I also find that companies are more responsive to facebook messages than they are to responding to the contact forms on their website.  

Now that one is true sometimes.   But my neurologist is in a group of neurologists and she is the newest one there and is great and so I don't want to complain.  But the head neurologists, who probably own the practice, got rid of their website and instead put in a Facebook page that is out of date.  And in my view, it is one thing to have a hair salon or a restaurant only have a facebook page but a medical practice??? It doesn't seem professional to me.

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59 minutes ago, Ditto said:

Don't you hate the places that don't have up-to-date websites?  That really bugs me.  I have noticed a growing trend in places having FB over websites though.   

I think it's a bad business decision. I'm noticing more and more people I know who are deleting FB or using it far less than they did in the past. Some more conservative people I know are moving to other platforms and rarely using FB at all anymore. Young people are dumping it completely. Having FB as your only business contact may be a bad idea.

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2 hours ago, TravelingChris said:

I absolutely hate this.  I want business and doctors to have websites, not Facebook. 

I agree.  It also comes across (to me) as very unprofessional.  I also disagree with cutting off a whole group of us who don't have, nor want, FB.  You want to advertise/reach as many people as possible and using a platform like FB doesn't accomplish that (again, my opinion).

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2 hours ago, mom2scouts said:

I think it's a bad business decision. I'm noticing more and more people I know who are deleting FB or using it far less than they did in the past. Some more conservative people I know are moving to other platforms and rarely using FB at all anymore. Young people are dumping it completely. Having FB as your only business contact may be a bad idea.

Absolutely.  I agree.  I am not conservative, at all, but I have never had FB and don't plan to ever join.   It just is not something I am interested in at all. 

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2 hours ago, TravelingChris said:

Now that one is true sometimes.   But my neurologist is in a group of neurologists and she is the newest one there and is great and so I don't want to complain.  But the head neurologists, who probably own the practice, got rid of their website and instead put in a Facebook page that is out of date.  And in my view, it is one thing to have a hair salon or a restaurant only have a facebook page but a medical practice??? It doesn't seem professional to me.

Oh this just comes across as tacky to me.  You are right, hugely unprofessional.   That would really turn me off as a potential patient.  

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8 hours ago, Ditto said:

Don't you hate the places that don't have up-to-date websites?  That really bugs me.  I have noticed a growing trend in places having FB over websites though.   

I've noticed that I don't surf the web as much as I used to. I hate all of the popups and blaring commercials. Websites are so slow to load. I used to find recipes online but now I cringe if I need to get a recipe from a website because it will be slow and there will be popups and commercials. About a year ago, I started going directly to Youtube and skipping Google entirely for certain kind of searches. 

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Snooze:

Snoozing is my least favorite option. After the 30 days are up, it's almost as if FB decides that we need to catch up on every single post that that person has made in the last 30 days, which really defeats the whole purpose. Every time I've snoozed someone, my entire feed gets inundated with all their posts.

Unfollow:

Unfollowing has worked for me. In the past few months, I've unfollowed more friends than ever before. Their posts seldom change. Maybe their posts will change long after the election, but I doubt it.

For the sake of courtesy, now and then, if they like my posts, I go back and like a few of their non-political posts.

Newsfeed (Seeing First):

I also have some friends whom I have chosen to show up first on my feed. You may know that feature already. Those are friends with whom I really don't want to miss any posts.

My Approach to Facebook:

When I see posts from friends that I disagree with or take objection to, and trust me, I see plenty of them, I prefer to take a non-confrontational approach. I usually scroll on by. That’s just me. I prefer to avoid arguments.

Again, I try to adopt a non-confrontational aspect when I comment or interpret comments on my posts.

I dislike arguments and carping on social media so here is my classification:

If I love or respect a post I will always try and say so. 

If I dislike a post, I tend to say nothing, or no "like". I scroll on by. 

If the person is really unfriendly, offensive, or acting in any way against me - in social media or in general - or act beyond the pale - then I would unfriend them. I've also unfriended quite a few. I seldom do that anymore, not like I used to. I try to think about that before doing anything too hasty.

I try to limit my political-type posts. I would gladly never share them, but I think that the reason I do so from time to time is because I often get irritated by others who overdo it. If no one ever posted political posts, I wouldn't either, but that should not be an excuse. No one's going to change their mind anyway. Everyone's going to still believe what they do and think what they do. Obviously I don't mind political posts when I agree with them! In fact, I enjoy them! But again, since I stop following those who irritate me, this is far less of a factor now. My husband often reminds me that I can make FB work any way that I want to. These days, other than all the continuous ads, since I've learned to make it work for me, I am loving it. Anyone can make FB work for them in the way that they choose. 

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10 hours ago, Ordinary Shoes said:

I've noticed that I don't surf the web as much as I used to. I hate all of the popups and blaring commercials. Websites are so slow to load. I used to find recipes online but now I cringe if I need to get a recipe from a website because it will be slow and there will be popups and commercials. About a year ago, I started going directly to Youtube and skipping Google entirely for certain kind of searches. 

I don't have this problem at all.  I wonder if it is because I have 4 ad-blockers on my computer?  There are never any pop-ups and no ads either.  The sites run smoothly and load quickly.     That would drive me bonkers!  I don't blame you for not surfing and avoiding websites.

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2 hours ago, Ditto said:

I don't have this problem at all.  I wonder if it is because I have 4 ad-blockers on my computer?  There are never any pop-ups and no ads either.  The sites run smoothly and load quickly.     That would drive me bonkers!  I don't blame you for not surfing and avoiding websites.

Maybe I need to try another ad blocker. Thanks for the sugestion. 

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I was snoozing a couple of people because they were sharing conspiracy theories and just being intentionally obtuse. I finally blocked one. I just couldn't take her attitude in the weeks of my father's illness and after his death. My dad didn't die of Covid but was released from the hospital before he should have been because of a large number of Covid patients. Anyway, this person keeps saying that no one dies of Covid, or it doesn't matter if the elderly die of Covid, and will ask if someone was overweight if they died of Covid. I couldn't do it anymore.

Kelly

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8 minutes ago, SquirrellyMama said:

My dad didn't die of Covid but was released from the hospital before he should have been because of a large number of Covid patients.

I am sorry for your loss.  We lost my FIL this summer due to Covid circumstances, but he did not actually have Covid.  So tragic.  😞

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On 10/16/2020 at 1:48 PM, PeterPan said:

I periodically go through and cull my friends list, and I unfollow anyone who even once posts something annoying. I'm down to about 3 people and tons of cooking, canning, professional type groups, which is enough for me. And I check my feed once a week, which is more than enough. Studies show FB is bad for mental health anyway, and I just don't need that. There was one group I liked, so I just bop in and check that, still ignoring the feed. 

 

I am about the same.  My feed is mostly health related groups and gardening groups.  I unfollowed most of my list last election and haven’t gone back.  If I’m thinking of someone, I can just look them up.  I have a sister in law that I like a lot in real life, but not on Facebook.  She’s very very very political and pretty caustic to my personal belief system.  I want to continue to think well of her so I don’t read her Facebook posts.

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9 hours ago, Ditto said:

I don't have this problem at all.  I wonder if it is because I have 4 ad-blockers on my computer?  There are never any pop-ups and no ads either.  The sites run smoothly and load quickly.     That would drive me bonkers!  I don't blame you for not surfing and avoiding websites.

I tried adding an ad blocker. Then I got a pop-up telling me that because I was blocking ads I had to select yes to seeing ads on the website. Annoying...

So I deleted the ad blockers. 

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On 10/16/2020 at 2:33 PM, Quill said:

I’m not completely sure but people I snoozed most likely snoozed me too. It was after I had snoozed a dozen people for like the third or fourth time that I realized I was not enjoying much of FB and I mostly quit. I deleted my apps so I can only go on from my computer, which is a natural deterrent. It also curbs my likelihood of posting something unless I’ve really considered whether or not I want to bother. 

It seems to me that having barely been on there for the past couple of months has trimmed down my feed even more. I am not seeing political stuff at all really, just people’s grandkids, kitties and birthday posts.

This is what it was like for me too. I only have FB on my computer and not my phone. I check in maybe once a week for a minute or so, realize I haven't missed anything then log out. 

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