DawnM Posted October 14, 2020 Share Posted October 14, 2020 Most of you know I am a school counselor. We had a death this past week. I won't go into details for privacy sake, but it is a child, and I always go, even if it is a parent. But I am not sure there will be social distancing. But I would feel horrible not going. I guess I can drive up and scope it out and see if I feel safe? What should I do? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BusyMom5 Posted October 14, 2020 Share Posted October 14, 2020 Go and sign the book- sometimes you can go early. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted October 14, 2020 Share Posted October 14, 2020 3 minutes ago, BusyMom5 said: Go and sign the book- sometimes you can go early. This. And also, see if you can find the funeral home doing it because they often have memorial signing online too. I have done that several times. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted October 14, 2020 Share Posted October 14, 2020 Honestly, I would send a card with a heartfelt note. If it is in a venue where you can pull up and scope out, maybe. But if it is indoors, at a funeral home, with more than like a dozen people right now I'd likely avoid if your numbers look anything like ours. If they were doing a graveside service outdoors, I would consider going masked. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted October 14, 2020 Author Share Posted October 14, 2020 Graveside is private. This will be indoors. There will most likely be LOTS of people. The more I think about it, the more nervous I am becoming. A friend of mine is a family doc, and she says she has had numerous people get Covid from funerals recently. Our numbers are at 9.8% and no one seems to care anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drama Llama Posted October 14, 2020 Share Posted October 14, 2020 2 minutes ago, DawnM said: Graveside is private. This will be indoors. There will most likely be LOTS of people. The more I think about it, the more nervous I am becoming. A friend of mine is a family doc, and she says she has had numerous people get Covid from funerals recently. Our numbers are at 9.8% and no one seems to care anymore. I am so sorry to hear this. I think that it's simply not safe to go. As a parent who lost a child during covid, the last thing I'd want would be for someone else to die because of my child's funeral, or for my child's friends to be without a counselor at this time because she was quarantining due to an exposure. I am sure you'll be playing a critical role in helping his or her friends through this. My son's funeral was closed to people outside very close family. Some friends from church came and stood outside while his body was carried out. Others signed an online guest book. We've also gotten many cards, and notices about donations in his memory. It touched us, and let us know that people were thinking of him and praying for him, but by participating in these socially distanced ways they also assured the safety of his great grandfather, and let us sing some of my son's favorite songs safely. Perhaps you could find another way to participate? I'll be praying for this family. Losing a child is awful, and covid complicates it. 12 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted October 14, 2020 Share Posted October 14, 2020 Skip the funeral, send a handwritten note with a memory of the child (if you have one) to the family about a week after the funeral. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted October 14, 2020 Share Posted October 14, 2020 Send a card. Going to the funeral doesn't seem prudent to me, and a card shows that you care just as much. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selkie Posted October 14, 2020 Share Posted October 14, 2020 I wouldn't go. Dh and I just skipped the funeral of a very close family member. There shouldn't have even been a big funeral because Covid is spreading rapidly through our county, but other family members insisted on it. We knew there were going to be a lot of people there and that many of them have not been careful at all, so we stayed home. Within a few days of attending the funeral, people were getting sick and one of them is in the hospital now. 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted October 14, 2020 Share Posted October 14, 2020 I would go to the calling hours and try not to stay indoors more than 10 or 15 minutes, if possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted October 14, 2020 Share Posted October 14, 2020 Hugs. That's so sad! W. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not_a_Number Posted October 14, 2020 Share Posted October 14, 2020 (edited) I wouldn't go. And I think people will remember and appreciate a heartfelt card much more than attendance, anyway. Edited October 14, 2020 by Not_a_Number 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klmama Posted October 14, 2020 Share Posted October 14, 2020 Do you know the family well? If so, go at the start of the visitation, offer condolences, and leave before it gets too crowded. If you aren't comfortable doing that or if you don't know the family, don't go. Send a card instead. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matrips Posted October 14, 2020 Share Posted October 14, 2020 3 hours ago, DawnM said: Most of you know I am a school counselor. We had a death this past week. I won't go into details for privacy sake, but it is a child, and I always go, even if it is a parent. But I am not sure there will be social distancing. But I would feel horrible not going. I guess I can drive up and scope it out and see if I feel safe? What should I do? I think you can send a nice card, and not go in this situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted October 14, 2020 Share Posted October 14, 2020 I agree that a card would be fine (and very much appreciated) in this situation. My FIL's funeral services at the home were horrifying to me with the lack of social distancing, masks, etc. It was like there was no pandemic at all. And most of the people there were elderly and high risk. I am sorry about the death - that is very sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted October 14, 2020 Share Posted October 14, 2020 Mask, glove, hand sanitizer. clothes go in the wash the minute you get home. I'm sorry. When I was in elementary I had a classmate killed in a horse riding accident. The whole school is affected. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted October 15, 2020 Author Share Posted October 15, 2020 I have already sent a card, I did that at the end of last week. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted October 15, 2020 Share Posted October 15, 2020 If you had ties to this child or family maybe you could send another card in 1-2 months just to remind them they aren't forgotten. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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