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My Mate Cannot Sing


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*light-hearted thread alert. I know there are bigger problems in the world. 

I mean, he knows it. But I think he just really wants to be able to sing. He may even think, as his mother used to say, if he just keeps practicing, he’ll be able to. But I really wish he would just give the heck up. 

He plays guitar and it sounds good, but he really wants to sing the songs, too. This is roughly bearable if he’s trying something like, Pride and Joy; faster songs that are not that melodic anyway. Recently, though, he’s been learning to play Unchained Melody and, I’m sorry but, if you can’t sing, you sure as hell can’t sing Unchained Melody

Where are my noise-cancelling headphones...

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My DH, whose mother was a music major and piano teacher, cannot sing or keep beat to save his life.  He has NO rhythm.  He also has no idea.  It’s equal parts endearing, puzzling, and frustrating.

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6 minutes ago, medawyn said:

My DH, whose mother was a music major and piano teacher, cannot sing or keep beat to save his life.  He has NO rhythm.  He also has no idea.  It’s equal parts endearing, puzzling, and frustrating.

Right??? Dh’s mother was a dance instructor for Arthur Murray dance studios, but dh cannot dance, even just a waltz, in time. Dh’s mother played piano and we sang together in her church choir for years. But he got zero singing genes. 

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I am the one in this family who cannot sing. Makes me sad. Looking forward to a glorified voice in eternity! 😉

Thankful that my kids got Dh's genes in this area! His family are all musical.

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Neither of my husband’s parents can sing.  One has a range of about four notes.  They’re awful, and they change the words to songs all the time.  
 

But they raised two musicians.  Mike’s sister is a professional Suzuki violin teacher.  Mike is an amateur but plays guitar and sings in a variety of church groups.  We actually met in a very professional college choir.  They’re both amazing.  
 

His parents love listening to music, and they make it to the best of their abilities.  And they got them into lessons at appropriate times.  

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1 minute ago, ScoutTN said:

I am the one in this family who cannot sing. Makes me sad. Looking forward to a glorified voice in eternity! 😉

Thankful that my kids got Dh's genes in this area! His family are all musical.

If my dh keeps trying to sing Unchained Melody, he might get that glorified voice sooner, rather than later...😏

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Neither of my parents can sing a note. My mother was told in elementary school to mouth the words. My father had zero rhythm and even worse singing. My brother does not sing nor does he play an instrument (he played saxophone in school for the minimum of a fine arts credit). I sang for years in school choirs, played piano, and have excellent rhythm.

DH's father sang in choirs for years. His mother isn't musical. DH cannot sing, although he claimed he couldn't dance for years. That turned out to not be true when I signed us up for a free ballroom lesson. Dude has style and rhythm. None of my children wanted to have anything to do with music although one seems to have some untapped musicality. Musical ability is so weird. 

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30 minutes ago, historically accurate said:

Neither of my parents can sing a note. My mother was told in elementary school to mouth the words. My father had zero rhythm and even worse singing. My brother does not sing nor does he play an instrument (he played saxophone in school for the minimum of a fine arts credit). I sang for years in school choirs, played piano, and have excellent rhythm.

DH's father sang in choirs for years. His mother isn't musical. DH cannot sing, although he claimed he couldn't dance for years. That turned out to not be true when I signed us up for a free ballroom lesson. Dude has style and rhythm. None of my children wanted to have anything to do with music although one seems to have some untapped musicality. Musical ability is so weird. 

Isn't it though? I always wonder about the interplay of nature and nurture when it comes to arts.

The following is in re: drawing and painting.  My dd is a very good artist. She drew very accurate drawings from an age so early, her pediatrician was astounded. She won many awards over the years for her drawings. 

I also drew all the time from an early age. We were pretty poor, so I rarely had anything better than ordinary pencils and a scrap of paper, sometimes a church tithe envelope. But I always drew and received accolades for my art. 

But, here's what I find fascinating: dd's art is very similar to mine. I mean, just the "style" or iteration of how she draws something looks so nearly identical to mine that it would be hard to tell if a drawing was hers or mine if I didn't just know based on knowing what I have drawn. Even the particular things we find easy to replicate (like eyes) or difficult (buildings) is the same between us. I just find that fascinating. 

My youngest is a fairly good artist, but I *think* he has not (so far) taken it as far as it could go and I think part of it is because he has always perceived drawing as "her thing" and so he doesn't compete. (Not that it's a competition in our household, just that kids typically perceive it that way - "My sister is the artist, my brother is the computer guy, I'm the athlete," for example.) 

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1 hour ago, ScoutTN said:

I am the one in this family who cannot sing. Makes me sad. Looking forward to a glorified voice in eternity! 😉

Thankful that my kids got Dh's genes in this area! His family are all musical.

Same here. I hate parties - mouthing Happy Birthday is embarrassing. But singing it is even worse- people hear it and just think it’s funny. It’s not. 

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Yesssss. My DH can play any stringed instrument but lacks in the voice department. When we were newly married, we went to church with his mom and as I heard her squawking beside me, I thought, "aha...genetics."

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I'm that person in our musical family. It's not fun. I've listened to enough instrument and voice practice to hear other peoples music better but not my own. He doesn't really understand why it's such a big deal. If you can't hear it you don't get it. He needs a music room of his own. lol

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3 hours ago, medawyn said:

My DH, whose mother was a music major and piano teacher, cannot sing or keep beat to save his life.  He has NO rhythm.  He also has no idea.  It’s equal parts endearing, puzzling, and frustrating.

That's actually solvable. It's in the EF portion of the frontal lobe of the brain and you can work on it with metronome work.

3 hours ago, Quill said:

he just really wants to be able to sing.

My ds has been in music therapy for years. One got him able to get his voice up and down, but he still can't hit C to hum along with a bell from his bell set. I assume it's some kind of auditory processing issue and was hoping there might be software for it. Maybe I need to figure out a kinder, gentler way. I don't think he processes the ups and downs and differences in the tones very well. He also tends toward odd prosody patterns.

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I don't sing well, but I sing all the time. But when things were really hard last year, I stopped singing, and I stopped humming. The kids noticed, too, because the other day I was singing quietly while I moved about my chores or whatever, and my daughter said "Mom - you're singing!" So, yeah, I'm a singer who really can't. Just love him anyway. 

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I think many, many people who think they can't sing, could learn from the right teacher. You don't just open your mouth and use the same voice you do when speaking. The exception might be if someone is truly tone deaf. Our choir director says that those people cannot be taught to overcome it. Most people are not tone deaf though. 

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38 minutes ago, hippiemamato3 said:

Oh yeah I don't sing in public either. 

well in this case I define public as in front of anyone, including dh.  Sometimes I'll sing in front of the kids, like if I'm singing the baby to sleep or we're being silly and loud.  But mostly I don't because I know that even people who love each other make fun of things they are bad at. This post is a prime example.  Sorry OP, I know you meant this to be light hearted but I just don't see it as light hearted.  It is mean and if I knew my spouse was making fun of my singing I'd be deeply hurt by it.

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Singing is a way to feel alive and way to express joy.

The greatest thing a person can do is to encourage others to their express joy (or even their sorry) by singing. Really.

Encourage others to lift their voices in song. The amount of good you'll do (especially with the talentless) will vastly exceed the pain of off-key singing. These are people we love. Yah? Feel blessed they open themselves to us by singing.

No words are more life affirming than "I love it when I hear you sing," especially when they are sincere words. Has nothing to do with "talent," but rather the position of one's heart.

Bill

 

 

 

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1 minute ago, Spy Car said:

Singing is a way to feel alive and way to express joy.

The greatest thing a person can do is to encourage others to their express joy (or even their sorry) by singing. Really.

Encourage others to lift their voices in song. The amount of good you'll do (especially with the talentless) will vastly exceed the pain of off-key singing. These are people we love. Yah? Feel blessed they open themselves to us by singing.

No words are more life affirming than "I love it when I hear you sing," especially when they are sincere words. Has nothing to do with "talent," but rather the position of one's heart.

Bill

 

 

 

Aww. This is such a nice reframe for me. Thanks for that. 

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Just now, Quill said:

Aww. This is such a nice reframe for me. Thanks for that. 

Of all the things I believe, this one is near the top. Feel blessed you have a man who sings you Unchained Melody. You will never forget that. It's a gift. A precious one.

And see what it does for you man when you can say to him in all sincerity--when you really mean it--that you love to hear him sing. It is about the most loving and life-affirming thing a person can ever hear from someone they love. Watch his reaction. That's love.

Bill

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I love to sing but I'm not very good.  I have a limited range.   My dad has an incredible voice!!!   I also can't draw or do art 😞My mom is a fantastic artist went to the Seattle Art institute.  

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I don't understand not being able to hear a note and sing it. o_0

Similarly, I don't understand people who cannot feel the beat of a song. How is that possible? I especially don't understand people who cannot feel the beat and yet they take a dance class. o_0 One of my hula students was especially that way. She memorized the steps, and the count, but she couldn't count to the actual beat of the music. I had to give her other clues so she'd know when to do which movement.

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5 minutes ago, Ellie said:

I don't understand not being able to hear a note and sing it. o_0

Similarly, I don't understand people who cannot feel the beat of a song. How is that possible? I especially don't understand people who cannot feel the beat and yet they take a dance class. o_0 One of my hula students was especially that way. She memorized the steps, and the count, but she couldn't count to the actual beat of the music. I had to give her other clues so she'd know when to do which movement.

I don't understand not understanding that people have different gifts. What a bizarre statement. 

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6 minutes ago, Ellie said:

I don't understand not being able to hear a note and sing it. o_0

Similarly, I don't understand people who cannot feel the beat of a song. How is that possible? I especially don't understand people who cannot feel the beat and yet they take a dance class. o_0 One of my hula students was especially that way. She memorized the steps, and the count, but she couldn't count to the actual beat of the music. I had to give her other clues so she'd know when to do which movement.

Cripes. Just because someone can't feel the beat doesn't mean they don't deserve the joy of dance. 

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5 minutes ago, hippiemamato3 said:

Cripes. Just because someone can't feel the beat doesn't mean they don't deserve the joy of dance. 

I didn't say that. Why would you imagine that's what I meant? I just said I don't understand it. And I also said that I worked with my student to help her be where she needed to be in the dance because she couldn't feel the beat.

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21 minutes ago, Spy Car said:

Of all the things I believe, this one is near the top. Feel blessed you have a man who sings you Unchained Melody. You will never forget that. It's a gift. A precious one.

And see what it does for you man when you can say to him in all sincerity--when you really mean it--that you love to hear him sing. It is about the most loving and life-affirming thing a person can ever hear from someone they love. Watch his reaction. That's love.

Bill

This is 100% on point.  During a particularly difficult time in my marriage dh mentioned my singing and it is something I will never forget.  It was night 2 of a hard journey of rebuilding our marriage and not knowing if/how we would do it.  Dh told me that he hadn't cried at all on day 1 until he was on the couch downstairs and heard me singing our youngest to sleep in our bedroom.  He feared never hearing it again and loved those rare moments that he caught me singing when I thought no one was listening.

It is one of my favorite memories.  And since then I have been able to sing around him more often, although I still wish I could let go of all my insecurities about singing around him.  Because of all people I know he'd never make fun of me.

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3 minutes ago, hjffkj said:

This is 100% on point.  During a particularly difficult time in my marriage dh mentioned my singing and it is something I will never forget.  It was night 2 of a hard journey of rebuilding our marriage and not knowing if/how we would do it.  Dh told me that he hadn't cried at all on day 1 until he was on the couch downstairs and heard me singing our youngest to sleep in our bedroom.  He feared never hearing it again and loved those rare moments that he caught me singing when I thought no one was listening.

It is one of my favorite memories.  And since then I have been able to sing around him more often, although I still wish I could let go of all my insecurities about singing around him.  Because of all people I know he'd never make fun of me.

That is the most precious thing I have heard all day. Maybe all month. Or all year. ❤️

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My mom, poor mom, is so bad at singing that each grandchild, around the age of 2, once she starts to sing to them, they tell her to stop. And before they have words, they'll cover their ears. The first time K asked her to stop, she just put her hand on top of my mom's mouth and said, "please no". My mom teased her and said, "Louder?" And K immediately clapped her hands over her ears and said, "Run! Run!", and ran out of the room.

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1 hour ago, Ellie said:

I don't understand not being able to hear a note and sing it. o_0

Similarly, I don't understand people who cannot feel the beat of a song. How is that possible? I especially don't understand people who cannot feel the beat and yet they take a dance class. o_0 One of my hula students was especially that way. She memorized the steps, and the count, but she couldn't count to the actual beat of the music. I had to give her other clues so she'd know when to do which movement.

I have friends who can look at a mechanical googly-get and UNDERSTAND what will happen, and I am completely clueless. Maybe it turns? Maybe it putters? Maybe it makes pancakes? No idea.

And I'm grateful my friend will patiently show me each moving part of the machine and explain its function, even though I will promptly forget it after he closes it back up.

I think he'd internally wince if he had to TEACH me mechanics, but I hope he wouldn't think less of me for wanting to learn.

 

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1 hour ago, rebcoola said:

I love to sing but I'm not very good.  I have a limited range.   My dad has an incredible voice!!!   I also can't draw or do art 😞My mom is a fantastic artist went to the Seattle Art institute.  

Oh, here’s a lost art: whistling tunefully. My dad is an amazing whistler. He whistles like a canary. It’s magical. I don’t know if younger generations do this anymore. 

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1 hour ago, Ellie said:

I don't understand not being able to hear a note and sing it. o_0

Similarly, I don't understand people who cannot feel the beat of a song. How is that possible? I especially don't understand people who cannot feel the beat and yet they take a dance class. o_0 One of my hula students was especially that way. She memorized the steps, and the count, but she couldn't count to the actual beat of the music. I had to give her other clues so she'd know when to do which movement.

Sometimes at least, this is an auditory processing disability. I think this could be true for dh and one of my kids. I remember trying to teach dc how to break a word into syllables, or how to stress one or more syllables and it was extraordinarily hard for dc to understand. 

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Mine tries to do Rick Ashley’s Never Gonna Give You Up and DS14 does it better. My husband can do a nice baritone voice so any song that can be decently sung in baritone is tolerable. Time of My Life isn’t too bad.

After years of sleeping in class from K to college, I can nap through any tolerable singing without noise cancellation headsets.

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1 hour ago, hjffkj said:

This is 100% on point.  During a particularly difficult time in my marriage dh mentioned my singing and it is something I will never forget.  It was night 2 of a hard journey of rebuilding our marriage and not knowing if/how we would do it.  Dh told me that he hadn't cried at all on day 1 until he was on the couch downstairs and heard me singing our youngest to sleep in our bedroom.  He feared never hearing it again and loved those rare moments that he caught me singing when I thought no one was listening.

It is one of my favorite memories.  And since then I have been able to sing around him more often, although I still wish I could let go of all my insecurities about singing around him.  Because of all people I know he'd never make fun of me.

That’s a beautiful story. I have tears in my eyes. Also, I’m a jerk. I just realized that between your post and Spy Car’s. 

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2 minutes ago, Quill said:

Sometimes at least, this is an auditory processing disability. I think this could be true for dh and one of my kids. I remember trying to teach dc how to break a word into syllables, or how to stress one or more syllables and it was extraordinarily hard for dc to understand. 

Some people are slightly tone deaf music wise.

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7 hours ago, ScoutTN said:

I am the one in this family who cannot sing. Makes me sad. Looking forward to a glorified voice in eternity! 😉

Thankful that my kids got Dh's genes in this area! His family are all musical.

This is me; my family can sing, I cannot so much as clap to the beat properly. 

I tell my poor DH all the time that I have the *heart* of a Broadway singer, just not the voice/talent for it. Poor guy puts up with me anyway, no matter what I'm "singing" along to....even when I'm belting it out with all the gusto of a wonderful soloist. 

....although, this could be one of the reasons he refuses to take me for Karaoke.......

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1 minute ago, Quill said:

That’s a beautiful story. I have tears in my eyes. Also, I’m a jerk. I just realized that between your post and Spy Car’s. 

No. You are not a jerk. We all have ways where we can grow as human beings and as life-partners. The key is being open to moments of reflection.

Being able to "reframe" is the proof that you are anything but a jerk. 

When the time is right, look at how your husband reacts to the magic words. Look into his eyes as you express them. You will see. I promise.

Bill

 

 

 

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Oh, I can sing!  I just can't keep a tune! I have a very loud, very clear, beautiful voice.  I could be an opera singer if I could just hear the notes.  🙂 

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1 hour ago, Ellie said:

I don't understand not being able to hear a note and sing it. o_0

Similarly, I don't understand people who cannot feel the beat of a song. How is that possible? I especially don't understand people who cannot feel the beat and yet they take a dance class. o_0 One of my hula students was especially that way. She memorized the steps, and the count, but she couldn't count to the actual beat of the music. I had to give her other clues so she'd know when to do which movement.

This is me -- I cannot hear the notes, cannot feel/identify the beat of the song, and will happily join in a dance class or other. I love music and all things musical. Just have zero ability. 

For me, with the beat, it's because I latch onto the words, so for me, the "beat" is the pace of the lyrics. Which does not always actually match the beat of the song, apparently. If there are no lyrics, I have no clue. 

As for the tone/notes/etc, a friend once tried to teach me how to do that. "listen to the song, and match your voice to the notes" I just looked at him, baffled. I honestly cannot tell if my voice matches or not. I can vaguely tell when the notes of the song go higher or lower, and I can vaguely make my voice go higher or lower, but I cannot tell at all if my voice is even within range of the song. Again, partly because all that I can really "hear" are the lyrics....I can try to mimic the voice, but even then, have no clue. My sister tells me sometimes I'm on key (pitch? key?) by accident, but I cannot tell the difference. At all.  My niece says sometimes I go low when they go high, and vice versa. I cannot hear it, at all. (nor do I care)

And I LOVE music and dancing and Zumba, even though I again am utterly clueless. Throw in that I also have left/right mix up when mirroring things and it's an absolute hoot. But I will dance and move and wiggle and try to mirror the movements others are doing. This is how I clap in church, too; I have to watch the other clappers and try and keep pace with them.  I'm glad you worked with your student like that; it's a real phenomenon that does exist, and I'd be grateful for a teacher like that who tries to help rather than shame; sounds like you are a good one. 

41 minutes ago, Moonhawk said:

My mom, poor mom, is so bad at singing that each grandchild, around the age of 2, once she starts to sing to them, they tell her to stop. And before they have words, they'll cover their ears. The first time K asked her to stop, she just put her hand on top of my mom's mouth and said, "please no". My mom teased her and said, "Louder?" And K immediately clapped her hands over her ears and said, "Run! Run!", and ran out of the room.

Oh, yea, my kids have all done that to me, too. They used to put their little hands on my mouth when I rocked/sang them to sleep. I switched to humming for them pretty early on. Now they all don't mind....everyone is used to the fact that mom is just going to sing along with her CDs and they roll with it. I do try and respect certain songs that I know the kids really enjoy/want to listen to and not sing *too* loud when we're all listening together (like in the car or something). 

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21 minutes ago, Quill said:

Also, I’m a jerk. 

You're really not. It's okay to not love to hear someone's truly painful singing all the time, lol. 

And I am a truly painful singer. That doesn't stop me when my jam comes on, but I don't expect anyone to enjoy it 😂

 

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8 hours ago, Quill said:

*light-hearted thread alert. I know there are bigger problems in the world. 

I mean, he knows it. But I think he just really wants to be able to sing. He may even think, as his mother used to say, if he just keeps practicing, he’ll be able to. But I really wish he would just give the heck up. 

He plays guitar and it sounds good, but he really wants to sing the songs, too. This is roughly bearable if he’s trying something like, Pride and Joy; faster songs that are not that melodic anyway. Recently, though, he’s been learning to play Unchained Melody and, I’m sorry but, if you can’t sing, you sure as hell can’t sing Unchained Melody

Where are my noise-cancelling headphones...

This is one of my all time favorite songs.  It literally sends chills down my spine and brings tears to my eyes.  But I agree, it is not an easy song to sing.  

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4 hours ago, hippiemamato3 said:

I don't sing well, but I sing all the time. But when things were really hard last year, I stopped singing, and I stopped humming. The kids noticed, too, because the other day I was singing quietly while I moved about my chores or whatever, and my daughter said "Mom - you're singing!" So, yeah, I'm a singer who really can't. Just love him anyway. 

When things were rough for me this last year I couldn't sing either.  I did play a lot of music though.  And cried a lot. 

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1 hour ago, Quill said:

That’s a beautiful story. I have tears in my eyes. Also, I’m a jerk. I just realized that between your post and Spy Car’s. 

You are not a jerk.  There is just simply a side of the situation you hadn't considered.  You realizing it and calling yourself out as a jerk shows you aren't a jerk

Adding: Spy Car of course said it so much better than me

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We had a choir master back home in my native country and I would be one of those consistently moved places because of my squawking. He probably hoped bad singers like me do not volunteer, but unfortunately for him we did year after year during Christmas and especially caroling where we would go from house to house. We lifted our voices up joyfully unto the Lord, just not good enough to please the choir master. I gave up after school and college got busy and I dropped out.

Once I landed here, I started singing by myself again because my family had a tradition of singing during family worship every night and it was a memory that made me feel warm when I missed my home and family though I remember our family singing badly.

When I got married it was to DH who has a very lovely, choir worthy voice. DH loves singing and would sing to me often, I just listened and smiled and would never join in because I was a bit embarrassed of my singing voice. 

But when my son was born, I started again, the songs I grew up singing in my native language because I wanted him to know my language and my voice. I did not care if I sounded bad. DH was a bit startled to actually hear me sing and so much and at how many songs I could sing from memory. So we developed a new routine of singing during family worship each night just like I grew up with. One of my children inherited my singing gene, poor child and the other, DH's singing gene. So our family worship sounds a bit discordant, but like the Psalmist says, we sing joyfully unto the Lord. 

We sing a lot as a family, not just worship, but songs in different languages and different genres. I love to listen to music in many languages and it is one of the best immersions I know. 

So to all the singing frogs of the world I say, unite ! 🤣.  

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4 hours ago, Ellie said:

I don't understand not being able to hear a note and sing it. o_0

Similarly, I don't understand people who cannot feel the beat of a song. How is that possible? I especially don't understand people who cannot feel the beat and yet they take a dance class. o_0 One of my hula students was especially that way. She memorized the steps, and the count, but she couldn't count to the actual beat of the music. I had to give her other clues so she'd know when to do which movement.

I am glad you did that for your student. I would need something like that. 

I think part of it is that hearing it is not constant--I can hear and tell the difference in pitches, timing, etc., but when I have to do something at the same time, I can't hear it anymore--it just goes away. (Oddly enough, I can be listening to one song and transcribe the lyrics to another, which some musical people have told me they cannot do.) I also tend to learn my mistakes and then that is what I hear. I once had a specific set of errors in a piano song as a kid, and when we pulled out that piano book to see if my kids were going to use it, I tried to play that song. I thought that since I had progressed long past that song in skill before quitting lessons, I would be able to play it. Same errors came right back out again, lol! To a note. I was both annoyed and amused. 

I think if I had my kids' teacher when I was a kid, I would be able to overcome a lot of this. My last piano teacher was particularly good, but by that point, I was pretty mixed up, lol! He did his best. My kids' teacher is amazing. She can break things down differently for every student if she needs to. I learned a great deal by watching my kids' lessons with her. In fact, I think that listening to recorded music while looking at the notes would fix a lot of my errors. 

4 hours ago, Spy Car said:

Singing is a way to feel alive and way to express joy.

The greatest thing a person can do is to encourage others to their express joy (or even their sorry) by singing. Really.

Encourage others to lift their voices in song. The amount of good you'll do (especially with the talentless) will vastly exceed the pain of off-key singing. These are people we love. Yah? Feel blessed they open themselves to us by singing.

No words are more life affirming than "I love it when I hear you sing," especially when they are sincere words. Has nothing to do with "talent," but rather the position of one's heart.

Bill

That is so sweet. When I was growing up, my family sang loudly and enthusiastically in the car to a lot of songs, not just what was on the radio, and we found this quite fun. We weren't particularly good, but I didn't think we were that bad. My boyfriend (to be husband) rode with us once, and we started singing...he was literally in pain, though he covered well, lol! He has perfect pitch, poor guy. He is now at a point where he can genuinely enjoy those sing-alongs, but it took some time. 

3 hours ago, Quill said:

Oh, here’s a lost art: whistling tunefully. My dad is an amazing whistler. He whistles like a canary. It’s magical. I don’t know if younger generations do this anymore. 

At least one of my kids is working on this skill. My MIL is and my FIL was an amazing whistler like this. Very fun. 

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7 hours ago, hjffkj said:

well in this case I define public as in front of anyone, including dh.  Sometimes I'll sing in front of the kids, like if I'm singing the baby to sleep or we're being silly and loud.  But mostly I don't because I know that even people who love each other make fun of things they are bad at. This post is a prime example.  Sorry OP, I know you meant this to be light hearted but I just don't see it as light hearted.  It is mean and if I knew my spouse was making fun of my singing I'd be deeply hurt by it.

As someone who also can’t sing despite nine years of vocal music instruction in public school, I agree. I can play multiple instruments and dance, but I cannot sing on key. Yet I love to sing when I’m alone and would love to be able to do it in public and with others. I especially minded not being able to sing when I used to play guitar in church. When people keep posting about missing singing in choirs and church due to the pandemic, I just keeping thinking, well at least be thankful you usually get to sing with others, some of us don’t.

Edited to add that my husband is an amazing singer, but never sings. He was in boy’s choir, show choir, and had the lead in every high school musical. He can also play music by year, even on instruments for which he has no training. Unfortunately, our son did not inherit his ear for music.

Edited by Frances
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4 hours ago, TheReader said:

And I LOVE music and dancing and Zumba, even though I again am utterly clueless. Throw in that I also have left/right mix up when mirroring things and it's an absolute hoot. But I will dance and move and wiggle and try to mirror the movements others are doing. This is how I clap in church, too; I have to watch the other clappers and try and keep pace with them.  I'm glad you worked with your student like that; it's a real phenomenon that does exist, and I'd be grateful for a teacher like that who tries to help rather than shame; sounds like you are a good one.

I try to be. Each of my students learns a little differently, so I try to make sure that I add something to my instruction so that all of them can learn and enjoy it.

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DD21 can sing simple songs that don't require a lot of range. Anything that needs sustained high notes, can be near tear educing. She tries to naturally lower her volume when she gets out of the basic notes. LOL She knows her limits, but she has a lot of character, so it is still a lot of fun to watch her preform. She was in her  middle-school performance of Seussical....they just didn't put a microphone on her. LOL She was absolutely the best bird girl on the stage!!! (The lack of microphone really helped her rock the performance. LOL)

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7 hours ago, Quill said:

Oh, here’s a lost art: whistling tunefully. My dad is an amazing whistler. He whistles like a canary. It’s magical. I don’t know if younger generations do this anymore. 

My dad was an amazing whistler, too. When I'd been in a coma for two days when I was 14 months old, he whistled a tune for me & I woke up. I miss him.

My DH can sing but he doesn't. He can dance but he rarely does.

My kids don't mind my singing, usually, if I'm singing for them. They know if I'm singing for them, the love in it is more important than my voice. If I'm singing whatever is stuck in my head, they mind. ;)

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