Quarantine fatigue

[Not_a_Number]

Or, rather, thinking fatigue. I'm very tired of having to think about things I normally don't have to think about. 

Don't get me wrong -- we're still being careful. We're planning to continue being careful until we get more clarity, which I expect to get in the spring. And we're really doing well. We have a functioning schedule. My kids play nicely with other. I've started a small Zoom math class for DD8's friends from our local homeschooling center, which means that she's now keeping in touch with almost everyone from her pre-quarantine social circle. We're planning to pod with my in-laws again in a month, after getting a lot of essential medical appointments out of the way while we aren't seeing them. 

But man... everything requires thinking. Homeschooling was already like that -- DD8's social life required a LOT more work than it did when she was in school. And now it's doubly so. So many things are decisions that never felt like decisions. Do I go to the dentist? (Yes, but not for something that requires planning a month in advance -- who knows what's going to happen in a month.) Do I buy shoes in a store or online? (Actually, I don't buy shoes and make do with my boots.) Do I feel OK going to the park? (Yes, being outside is good for my kids and it seems low risk.) How do I make sure DD8 keeps in touch with her friends? (I run a class, because unstructured Zoom play dates weren't cutting it.) 

Anyone else with me? Anyone tired of everything being so much effort and of every day feeling overwhelming in terms of sheer numbers of decisions? 

Edited October 7, 2020 by Not_a_Number

[mommyoffive]

Sing it sister.   I have to take breaks from it all.  We are not doing anything currently so no decisions to be made.  I decided a few weeks ago to skip some fun field trips with their school.   Even outside I just couldn't do it with the numbers in our state.  I hope we can get our numbers lower so we can go to the dentist, doctors, and orthodontist.   But I am not hopeful.

[prairiewindmomma]

Yup.  This feeling comes in waves for me.

Oddly, evacuating because of the wildfire smoke was a good "cheat week" from my quarantine "diet".  We only did it because I 100% would've been in an ER due to asthma had we not evacuated, so it was relative risk, but it was insanely good for my mental health.

I 100% recommend renting a vacation home for a week or so out in the countryside.  Take HEPA air purifiers and cleaning wipes.  But, just getting outside and doing different things was lovely.

 

 

[prairiewindmomma]

Dh says that I should add that we also need to plan things to look forward to.  (He's trying to convince me to buy an electric guitar right now. 🙂 ) But in all seriousness, I am planning a super epic Halloween party for the kids because we all need something in the future we are excited about and looking forward to.

[Pawz4me]

Yep. I was talking with my sister-in-law (on the phone) yesterday and we were moaning and groaning about everything nowadays requiring so much thinking. So much weighing of pros and cons, should I or shouldn't I.

It's mentally exhausting.

[rebcoola]

Yes in some ways I miss complete quarantine because I didn't have to think.  Now that things are opening up it's a constant stream of decisions.  

[*Jessica*]

Yes.  Majorly.  I’m starting to spiral into depression and trying to force myself to enjoy life again.  But planning for anything requires so much more thought and effort than it used to!  That makes it harder than normal to fake-it-till-I-make-it.  

[marbel]

I don't think I know anyone who isn't thinking the same way. Even without little/school age kids, it's hard. I can't imagine having little ones/trying to homeschool or supplement public/private school right now!

Yesterday my daughter and I went to Trader Joe's. There was a line to get in, as usual. A mom and toddler were ahead of us, waiting. That young mom was working doubletime to keep her kid entertained as they waited. I would have been exhausted at the end of the trip. 

Having something to look forward to is key for me, but I'm struggling figuring out what that might be.

[freesia]

1 hour ago, rebcoola said:

Yes in some ways I miss complete quarantine because I didn't have to think.  Now that things are opening up it's a constant stream of decisions.  

This is me.

[freesia]

1 hour ago, prairiewindmomma said:

Dh says that I should add that we also need to plan things to look forward to.  (He's trying to convince me to buy an electric guitar right now. 🙂 ) But in all seriousness, I am planning a super epic Halloween party for the kids because we all need something in the future we are excited about and looking forward to.

Playing the electric guitar is my dh's quarantine picker upper.  Fortunately he waits for me to go on a long walk before practicing LOUDLY.  He even bought a new one.  He says it totally works for him (if you need more convincing 🙂

[stephanier.1765]

Me? I feel broken. This year has been so much and it just keeps on giving. I keep thinking of how ready I am to have normal back but who knows if we ever will have normal again.

[Sneezyone]

My sister has decided to come to my house, give birth in my state, and recuperate before returning to the area our mother lives in. Our mother is working and our father and stepmom have health challenges. My kids and I are stupid excited about this. They’ve never been around a newborn and are old enough to feel a special connection with this one. For my part, I’m in a position with free time, age, and disposable income to do for this niece what I couldn’t for my other nieces/nephews. My sewing machine is on fire right now. 😂 Were it not for this auspicious happenstance, I’d be right there with you. We’ve been so, stinking bored!!

Edited October 7, 2020 by Sneezyone

[stephanier.1765]

3 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

My sister has decided to come to my house, give birth in my state, and recuperate before returning to the area our mother lives in. Our mother is working and our father and stepmom have health challenges. My kids and I are stupid excited about this. They’ve never been around a newborn and are old enough to feel a special connection with this one. For my part, I’m in a position with free time, age, and disposable income to do for this niece what I couldn’t for my other nieces/nephews. My sewing machine is on fire right now. 😂 Were it not for this auspicious happenstance, I’d be right there with you. We’ve been so, stinking bored!!

So exciting! I'd love a newborn in the house too. We all could use a good dose of newborn babyness, I think. Something sweet and precious to help rid ourselves of this year's chaos.

[Not_a_Number]

6 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

My sister has decided to come to my house, give birth in my state, and recuperate before returning to the area our mother lives in. Our mother is working and our father and stepmom have health challenges. My kids and I are stupid excited about this. They’ve never been around a newborn and are old enough to feel a special connection with this one. For my part, I’m in a position with free time, age, and disposable income to do for this niece what I couldn’t for my other nieces/nephews. My sewing machine is on fire right now. 😂 Were it not for this auspicious happenstance, I’d be right there with you. We’ve been so, stinking bored!!

My kids are supposed to get a new cousin as well, and are also very excited 🙂 . That's part of our in-law pod! 

Edited October 7, 2020 by Not_a_Number

[Ausmumof3]

3 hours ago, rebcoola said:

Yes in some ways I miss complete quarantine because I didn't have to think.  Now that things are opening up it's a constant stream of decisions.  

I was just coming to say this.  When it’s strict lockdown it’s kind of easy because the decisions are mostly made.  But it’s where things aren’t too bad for the moment that there’s so much uncertainty.  Is this activity safe?  Is it necessary?  Will it still be safe or necessary in a weeks time?  Will the other people involved be following the protocols they say they’re following?

[Not_a_Number]

Just now, Ausmumof3 said:

I was just coming to say this.  When it’s strict lockdown it’s kind of easy because the decisions are mostly made.  But it’s where things aren’t too bad for the moment that there’s so much uncertainty.  Is this activity safe?  Is it necessary?  Will it still be safe or necessary in a weeks time?  Will the other people involved be following the protocols they say they’re following?

Yeah, I agree with that -- strict lockdown is easier in some ways. 

On the other hand, I'm pretty glad it's done, lol. We did need to see doctors and dentists and whatnot. So, while the decisions make things harder, it does seem easier to craft a meaningful life out of this version of the pandemic world. 

But my, is it hard. 

[bethben]

One of our pastors really described it well.  Decision fatigue.  Decisions that used to be on auto-pilot now require multiple layers of decisions.  Like  pp mentioned- buy shoes online, wait, go to the store?...It used to be simpler.  I need shoes?  Just go to the store and buy them.  Every simple decision has become complex.  The pastor had the example of school for most.  Last school year started and parents had to go and buy school supplies and get ready for the first day.  Simple.  Now you have the online or hybrid or in person full time or waking up having to quarantine because some kid tested positive.  A decision that used to be an autopilot decision for most now has so many little decisions in the midst of it.  Everything has become like that.  It is exhausting.

[Not_a_Number]

4 minutes ago, bethben said:

One of our pastors really described it well.  Decision fatigue.  Decisions that used to be on auto-pilot now require multiple layers of decisions.  Like  pp mentioned- buy shoes online, wait, go to the store?...It used to be simpler.  I need shoes?  Just go to the store and buy them.  Every simple decision has become complex.  The pastor had the example of school for most.  Last school year started and parents had to go and buy school supplies and get ready for the first day.  Simple.  Now you have the online or hybrid or in person full time or waking up having to quarantine because some kid tested positive.  A decision that used to be an autopilot decision for most now has so many little decisions in the midst of it.  Everything has become like that.  It is exhausting.

Yes! Decision fatigue, that's it! It's actually a well-known phenomenon: 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decision_fatigue

Except that one had to keep making good decisions, or risk really unpleasant outcomes of all sorts. So you can't give in to it. 

[mathnerd]

Other than everyone being on edge and walking on eggshells at home, we are resigned to the fact that this will continue for months. Winter is going to be hard no matter how optimistic I am. We have started going to isolated beaches every 2 weeks and taking short walks (because we don't want to stay longer and need to use public restrooms and would rather make it back home!).

As for everything requiring thinking: things are opening up and we are venturing very cautiously (masked, distanced etc) into the world to participate in dental appointments, eye exams and weekly private lessons. I had to come back home the last 3 times that I drove out because I forgot my driver's license and my glasses every time because it has frankly been too long since I drove. I need to think hard about what I am forgetting before getting into my car to drive my kid places. 

Edited October 7, 2020 by mathnerd

[Spryte]

It’s utterly exhausting.  The decisions, the feeling that we must say no when people around us are not saying no, just all of it.

We have a dementia patient here, too, and since she can’t remember that I can’t just take her out for retail therapy to browse stores and chat up unsuspecting shoppers (ha!), I find myself having to reorient her to the pandemic daily.  I’m so tired of telling this story.  It’s an exhausting story.

 

 

[marbel]

I am shocked at how often I walk out of the house to my car without a mask. Still! I always remember before I pull out of the driveway, at least. 

And a couple of time I was driving to the grocery store and thinking how nice it would be to get a coffee and sip my way through  my shopping. Then as I'm getting out of the car and grabbing my mask, I remember... uh no drinking in the store anymore.

Such simple silly things to miss. It's completely no big deal, and I have way bigger things to think about, but this is just something I'd like to be able to do again. 

Edited October 7, 2020 by marbel

[saraha]

4 hours ago, Not_a_Number said:

Or, rather, thinking fatigue. I'm very tired of having to think about things I normally don't have to think about. 

Don't get me wrong -- we're still being careful. We're planning to continue being careful until we get more clarity, which I expect to get in the spring. And we're really doing well. We have a functioning schedule. My kids play nicely with other. I've started a small Zoom math class for DD8's friends from our local homeschooling center, which means that she's now keeping in touch with almost everyone from her pre-quarantine social circle. We're planning to pod with my in-laws again in a month, after getting a lot of essential medical appointments out of the way while we aren't seeing them. 

But man... everything requires thinking. Homeschooling was already like that -- DD8's social life required a LOT more work than it did when she was in school. And now it's doubly so. So many things are decisions that never felt like decisions. Do I go to the dentist? (Yes, but not for something that requires planning a month in advance -- who knows what's going to happen in a month.) Do I buy shoes in a store or online? (Actually, I don't buy shoes and make do with my boots.) Do I feel OK going to the park? (Yes, being outside is good for my kids and it seems low risk.) How do I make sure DD8 keeps in touch with her friends? (I run a class, because unstructured Zoom play dates weren't cutting it.) 

Anyone else with me? Anyone tired of everything being so much effort and of every day feeling overwhelming in terms of sheer numbers of decisions? 

My Dh and I were just talking about this last night. On our first date since March. To Sams Club. Wooh.

[freesia]

I drove my kids somewhere tonight and was off balance because I realized it felt so odd driving in the growing dark and rain.  I realized that I hadn't driven at night since February or March!  (And, yes, deciding to let them go was an exhausting exercise!)

[easypeasy]

Ohhhh yeah. The fatigue is real. I'm fortunate in that all my kids are adults (well, DS is almost there officially, but he really runs his own schedule entirely on his own), so I'm not having to make decisions for them. 
 

However - this year was supposed to be FULL of some amazing opportunities my kids Have spent YEARS working their backsides off for. It still brings me physical pain every time one of those dates passes by with nothing to show for it. 😞 

As for me, I use grocery pick up and stay home almost all the time. Every couple of weeks I'll make a trip to Target just to get out of the house. 
 

There are some safe things that have opened up locally - outdoor concerts with social distancing, etc.  I want to go, but when it gets close to time for it, it just feels like so much work to get out of the house that I usually tell dh I've changed my mind. Lol I'm staying plenty busy here at home and I don't have to think. Going out is just so much effort  

Luckily, dh and the kids have their own fun things that they've focused on for these months and have some groups that are as safe as can be, so they're not just sitting at home all the time, waiting for me to want to leave. 😂

[bethben]

I went to a small church thing Sunday night.  I haven’t been back really since March.  I just missed seeing people in person and keep tossing around the idea of just going back to whatever new normal is there (social distancing mostly and various levels of masks).  But, again, what used to be simple seems fraught with danger - mostly for my very disabled son.  Just going and not being able to let my guard down as my son tries to hug people or they want to hug him.  And it stressed me out so much that I was practically in tears for two days.  Just having to figure out “should I let this person hug me?” is soooo much not something that I should have to think about!  I need hugs—especially from a person who loves me.  But, to have that even have to be a decision is exhausting (she did ask first—that’s why there had to be a decision).

[bethben]

4 hours ago, prairiewindmomma said:

Yup.  This feeling comes in waves for me.

Oddly, evacuating because of the wildfire smoke was a good "cheat week" from my quarantine "diet".  We only did it because I 100% would've been in an ER due to asthma had we not evacuated, so it was relative risk, but it was insanely good for my mental health.

I 100% recommend renting a vacation home for a week or so out in the countryside.  Take HEPA air purifiers and cleaning wipes.  But, just getting outside and doing different things was lovely.

 

 

My dh and I went away for two nights.  We brought our own bedding.  The smoke from wildfires is getting to me too.  Now, just being outside isn’t healthy either.  So, the only thing that was safe for sure away from the house is not now.  This year needs to go bye bye.

[Garga]

Just today, I was scheduled to hang out with a mom on my deck for about an hour and a half.  She wrote to me that one of her children has a sniffly nose.  Could be anything; most likely isn’t Covid (there are very few cases here). She said it was up to me if I still wanted her to come over.

Fortunately for me, I had already decided that if someone (or someone in their family) had any sickness symptoms, no matter what, and we were going to hang out, that we’d reschedule for later.  No trying to decide if the symptoms really are covid. No getting out the tape measurer and making sure we stay apart. No wondering about masks outside.  Keeping it simple and pre-decided:  you have symptoms, we reschedule.  Done.

I can’t go through all the thinking and planning and wondering every time something comes up.  I’ve pre-made a decision and am sticking to it.

Same with some friends who get together indoors.  I was tempted to get together with them, and just wear a mask. But I’ve decided: no.  No matter what the invitation is, I will not accept indoor invitations. Even if we’re masked.  I can’t rethink this every time there’s a decision.  I’ve premade up my mind: Every time there’s an indoor invite, the answer is always no. They’ve said they won’t mask indoors, but even if they decide that they will, I’ve decided that I won’t get together indoors for an extended period of time, masks or no masks.

But still, there are so many other little things that pop up that you have to decide about.  There are only so many things you can anticipate and pre-decide.

 

Edit: removed some personal info about family members and depression. Realized they probably wouldn’t want it shared.

Edited October 8, 2020 by Garga

[Bootsie]

1 hour ago, Not_a_Number said:

Yes! Decision fatigue, that's it! It's actually a well-known phenomenon: 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decision_fatigue

Except that one had to keep making good decisions, or risk really unpleasant outcomes of all sorts. So you can't give in to it. 

This is interesting.  I am experiencing the opposite--making a lot less decisions than usual; I don't have to decide what to wear to work, which shoes to wear, will I go to meeting A or B, will I take my lunch to work or buy something, will I got to the church activity tonight, will I go to the gym.  I don't have young children to coordinate activities for and most of my pre-pandemic activities still aren't happening in my area.  

My fatigue is more about not being able to make plans.  We were going to go to Europe in May to visit DD; then in August, well maybe Christmas...Perhaps next summer???  Should I go visit my mom?  She is about five hours away.  I could drive, visit with her outdoors, for a short time and then drive back five hours.  

[Garga]

DH and I used to go out every Wednesday night and get soup at the local Chinese restaurant. Just the two of us while the boys were at their youth group.

Well, we still go, but it’s a big production.  Drive over, walk up to the window (with mask), make the order, wait in the car for it to be ready, pop mask back on, go up to window to get the food, have something to put the boiling hot plastic containers on in the car, have paper towels ready for spills, have a ladle, some bowls, some spoons, and drinks.  Eat carefully in the car so it doesn’t spill.

We could eat at home, but that never works. There are interruptions, we get sidetracked with something that needs to be done in the house, etc.  Eating outside the car is only minimally easier, until you factor in that mosquitoes LOVE me and I’d have to wear bug spray and then come home and wash it off, and DH can’t tolerate heat very well, and I can’t tolerate cold, so the height of summer and depths of winter won’t work for eating out..

 

And I’m getting tired just typing it all out.  

It used to be so easy.  Go to the restaurant, sit down, the lady would say, “The usual?”, we’d say “yes”, and then we’d just eat the food.  

[Garga]

5 hours ago, prairiewindmomma said:

Dh says that I should add that we also need to plan things to look forward to.  (He's trying to convince me to buy an electric guitar right now. 🙂 ) But in all seriousness, I am planning a super epic Halloween party for the kids because we all need something in the future we are excited about and looking forward to.

My house is really small and we recently had to move some rooms around.  The one spot in the house that could fit a regular-sized Christmas tree is now filled with furniture. 

So, I decided to buy one of those ridiculously skinny Christmas trees.  And then decided, why not another one for the corner where my son does school?  And why not a tree for each bedroom as well??

We ended up buying 5 trees.  Some are tall and skinny, some are little ones that can go on a table.  

And I can’t WAIT to decorate them. I usually wait until after Thanksgiving, but not this year.  Not in 2020.  In 2020, we are going to get Christmas going early!!  Yippeee!  (I love Christmas.)

Edited October 8, 2020 by Garga

[Not_a_Number]

55 minutes ago, Bootsie said:

This is interesting.  I am experiencing the opposite--making a lot less decisions than usual; I don't have to decide what to wear to work, which shoes to wear, will I go to meeting A or B, will I take my lunch to work or buy something, will I got to the church activity tonight, will I go to the gym.  I don't have young children to coordinate activities for and most of my pre-pandemic activities still aren't happening in my area.  

My fatigue is more about not being able to make plans.  We were going to go to Europe in May to visit DD; then in August, well maybe Christmas...Perhaps next summer???  Should I go visit my mom?  She is about five hours away.  I could drive, visit with her outdoors, for a short time and then drive back five hours.  

Hmmmm. You know, that's a good point -- I'm not sure there ARE more decisions than before. It's more like small decisions feel more consequential. Like, yes, before I had to think about what to wear, and what classes to sign DD8 up for, and those decisions don't exist anymore. 

But now I have to think about what mask to buy, and how much time to spend indoors, and how much hand sanitizer to use, and unfortunately, they all feel like consequential decisions. It's not like deciding which skirt to wear. 

[lewelma]

I had no idea.  I am so sorry guys are are going through this. We hear stuff, but not this real life experience stuff. ☹️

[Not_a_Number]

3 minutes ago, lewelma said:

I had no idea.  I am so sorry guys are are going through this. We hear stuff, but not this real life experience stuff. ☹️

Pfffft, you and your silly small and competent country that eradicated COVID 😁.

Honestly, there've been good things about the pandemic, too. We've had to experiment with a radically different schedule than the one I usually have, and unsurprisingly, we've found it has some benefits. I programmed a LOT of automated worksheets that I plan to use for an eventual app. I'm figuring out how to teach online. The kids have had to play together more than usual and we've worked on how they relate to teach other. We've seen a lot of family. 

And we don't have any mental illness in the family that makes this more challenging. Everyone's managing. We can do this as long as we need to, and hopefully we won't get sick. 

So, everything is fine. I'm just tired. But you know... no one promised me life would never be tiring. 

Edited October 8, 2020 by Not_a_Number

[matrips]

7 hours ago, Not_a_Number said:

Or, rather, thinking fatigue. I'm very tired of having to think about things I normally don't have to think about. 

Don't get me wrong -- we're still being careful. We're planning to continue being careful until we get more clarity, which I expect to get in the spring. And we're really doing well. We have a functioning schedule. My kids play nicely with other. I've started a small Zoom math class for DD8's friends from our local homeschooling center, which means that she's now keeping in touch with almost everyone from her pre-quarantine social circle. We're planning to pod with my in-laws again in a month, after getting a lot of essential medical appointments out of the way while we aren't seeing them. 

But man... everything requires thinking. Homeschooling was already like that -- DD8's social life required a LOT more work than it did when she was in school. And now it's doubly so. So many things are decisions that never felt like decisions. Do I go to the dentist? (Yes, but not for something that requires planning a month in advance -- who knows what's going to happen in a month.) Do I buy shoes in a store or online? (Actually, I don't buy shoes and make do with my boots.) Do I feel OK going to the park? (Yes, being outside is good for my kids and it seems low risk.) How do I make sure DD8 keeps in touch with her friends? (I run a class, because unstructured Zoom play dates weren't cutting it.) 

Anyone else with me? Anyone tired of everything being so much effort and of every day feeling overwhelming in terms of sheer numbers of decisions? 

That sounds hard.  

We have been back to most things, and people are careful.  dentist (they wear mask and shield and gloves), orthodontist (temp checks and only kid goes in), doctors, school (masks, sanitizer, extra precaution), kid sports (golf is pretty socially distanced), clothes and shoe shopping (masks).  I still get groceries delivered because I LOVE it!  But with masks, hand washing, and distancing, everything else is ‘back to normal’.  We also take a lot of supplements- D, Magnesium, Quercetin, zinc etc.

If you believe masks and distance and soap works, then go on out.  We started small, like once a week.  And now, while I don’t go out casually, I do go out when I need to.   Just a little here and there may help take the stress off you.

[Not_a_Number]

27 minutes ago, matrips said:

That sounds hard.  

We have been back to most things, and people are careful.  dentist (they wear mask and shield and gloves), orthodontist (temp checks and only kid goes in), doctors, school (masks, sanitizer, extra precaution), kid sports (golf is pretty socially distanced), clothes and shoe shopping (masks).  I still get groceries delivered because I LOVE it!  But with masks, hand washing, and distancing, everything else is ‘back to normal’.  We also take a lot of supplements- D, Magnesium, Quercetin, zinc etc.

If you believe masks and distance and soap works, then go on out.  We started small, like once a week.  And now, while I don’t go out casually, I do go out when I need to.   Just a little here and there may help take the stress off you.

We go out to the park and we've been doing doctors/dentist's appointments 🙂 . In terms of things that work... I don't think anything "works," really. I think there are things that make it less likely I get infected. Unfortunately, I have to multiply all of those probabilities over the course of the next 6 months or so, so even small risks wind up ballooning if NYC again winds up having a problem. And I do expect the Northeast to again have a problem, because we already had a problem once, and it's going to get cold and everyone will go inside. And everyone is tired of quarantining. 

At the end of the day, given what I've heard about this virus, I don't want it. So the right decision for us is to do the urgent stuff and otherwise stay as distanced as is possible without sacrificing quality of life entirely. 

It's just thinking about what amounts to urgent and what amounts to "important quality of life stuff" that makes me tired 🙂 . I don't REALLY need new shoes, but I do need my teeth cleaned and I do need a flu shot 🙂 . But then it all takes thought. 

[DawnM]

Well, I have been working full time since August so I am not really feeling it.   I mean, yes, with masking, etc....but it is MORE work to work during Covid than normal work, so I am exhausted from that.   I don't have time to go out.   I even send other people to the grocery store or order it to be delivered.   

[SKL]

My quarantine related fatigue is a little different.

1) Forget planning.  My poor calendar.  Having to re-prioritize again and again as schedules change.

2) The constant reminders about Covid.  I turn on the radio to listen to loud music and drown out stress, and they gotta talk about Covid closures or "honoring first line workers" or some crap.  Can't go on the internet without seeing fifty ads for freaking face masks.  Professional education is all about various aspects of Covid.  And on and on.

3) Homeschooling while not homeschooling (because I also have a demanding full-time job).  I know I'm not supposed to call it homeschooling, but the fact is that the buck stops here if I want my kids to learn anything or have a transcript a college admissions office will consider.  So yes, I'm the person who is teaching y=mx+b, what "adulation" means, and who did what at Menlo Park, as well as how to find out what your assignments are, how to submit them online, and whether you met your teacher's expectations.  Also coaching on how to communicate with 6 teachers about things that don't make any sense in online learning.  Just last night we were doing this from 8pm to 3:30am.  Yes, I'm tired.

4) Not seeing my mom for almost a year, with no clear end in sight.

5) Still waiting for some services (other than school) to resume for my kids.  Filling in myself in the mean time.

6) Never having the house to myself.  As an extreme introvert, this is not OK.  Having an audience stifles a lot of my energy.  Having other people's crap everywhere doesn't help, either.

7) Worrying about uncertain business things (as a small business owner).  Being in business already has risks, but Covid has taken a bite out of a lot of the safety net while adding new liabilities.  When we launched the latest venture, we discussed "what's the worst that could happen" ... and a Pandemic really wasn't on the radar.  A lot of our business is directly related to things Covid has decimated.

😎 Not traveling.  For me, getting away was a nice distraction from stressful / bad things, even though I always took work with me.

[SKL]

17 hours ago, prairiewindmomma said:

Dh says that I should add that we also need to plan things to look forward to.  (He's trying to convince me to buy an electric guitar right now. 🙂 ) But in all seriousness, I am planning a super epic Halloween party for the kids because we all need something in the future we are excited about and looking forward to.

I just bought an acoustic guitar for my birthday!  It's still in the box until I get caught up on other things though ....

[Not_a_Number]

2 hours ago, SKL said:

😎 Not traveling.  For me, getting away was a nice distraction from stressful / bad things, even though I always took work with me.

We really miss traveling. We normally travel a lot. 

[Roadrunner]

We are slowly losing our minds. Sports isn’t meeting here and neither is music. All our extracurriculars and volunteering has fallen apart. We can’t even taken advantage of the outside because there are so many tourists that social distancing isn’t possible. So we sit home. I am very worried over the mental health of my children. All day alone studying.

I am too scared to travel. Maybe that’s on me though because everybody else is traveling. 

[Garga]

2 hours ago, SKL said:

 

6) Never having the house to myself.  As an extreme introvert, this is not OK.  Having an audience stifles a lot of my energy.  Having other people's crap everywhere doesn't help, either.

 

Yes to this. So much yes. When everyone is home, it’s like I can’t even do basic chores. I don’t understand why not. I think what you wrote is true—I just can’t relax and work with an audience. The second everyone leaves the house, I get full of energy and dash around getting so much done.  And when everyone comes back home, I just sit there or get things done slowly.

For me it’s also that I know that the moment I start something, they will be an interruption.  And when I know there is an interruption coming, I get tense.  I can’t throw myself into a task if I know that I’ll have to leave it unfinished halfway through. 

The second everyone leaves my house, I feel a physical relaxation in my muscles that I never feel when people are around.  I’m constantly slightly tense all the time.  Sometimes if I stay up late, I can relax if everyone else is in their rooms.  The boys don’t fall asleep before me anymore, so I don’t fully relax, but at least they head off to their rooms and don’t come out until morning, so I can somewhat relax.

On one hand, I”ve been glad I’m an introvert through all this because I just don’t miss not seeing other people. I still love my friends and family, but I don’t seem to even realize how long it’s been since I’ve seen them.

But on the other hand...all these people in my house!  All the time!  This is the bad part of being an introvert and staying home with a family all day. About 4 times since March, my dh and sons went for a walk together and I had 30 glorious minutes of alone time.  A total of 2 hours of alone time in the house since March.  Sigh.

Sometimes I run errands in the car just to be alone in the car, like I make a special trip to get gas. Or instead of going to the pet store on the same day as the grocery store, I split it into two days. One day, DH accompanied me on my errands and it was really hard not to get resentful that I was missing out on my alone time.  😞   I felt like a heel.  But...I need a *little* time alone, you know?

 

Edited October 8, 2020 by Garga

[*Jessica*]

28 minutes ago, Garga said:

Yes to this. So much yes. When everyone is home, it’s like I can’t even do basic chores. I don’t understand why not. I think what you wrote is true—I just can’t relax and work with an audience. The second everyone leaves the house, I get full of energy and dash around getting so much done.  And when everyone comes back home, I just sit there or get things done slowly.

For me it’s also that I know that the moment I start something, they will be an interruption.  And when I know there is an interruption coming, I get tense.  I can’t throw myself into a task if I know that I’ll have to leave it unfinished halfway through. 

The second everyone leaves my house, I feel a physical relaxation in my muscles that I never feel when people are around.  I’m constantly slightly tense all the time.  Sometimes if I stay up late, I can relax if everyone else is in their rooms.  The boys don’t fall asleep before me anymore, so I don’t fully relax, but at least they head off to their rooms and don’t come out until morning, so I can somewhat relax.

On one hand, I”ve been glad I’m an introvert through all this because I just don’t miss not seeing other people. I still love my friends and family, but I don’t seem to even realize how long it’s been since I’ve seen them.

But on the other hand...all these people in my house!  All the time!  This is the bad part of being an introvert and staying home with a family all day. About 4 times since March, my dh and sons went for a walk together and I had 30 glorious minutes of alone time.  A total of 2 hours of alone time in the house since March.  Sigh.

Sometimes I run errands in the car just to be alone in the car, like I make a special trip to get gas. Or instead of going to the pet store on the same day as the grocery store, I split it into two days. One day, DH accompanied me on my errands and it was really hard not to get resentful that I was missing out on my alone time.  😞   I felt like a heel.  But...I need a *little* time alone, you know?

 

I relate so strongly to this!

[Not_a_Number]

44 minutes ago, Heigh Ho said:

I'm fatigued with effort it takes to avoid the people who have symptoms or are clearly visiting from a hot zone, but aren't socially distancing or masking.  Sorry, I don't want their germs, whether its covid, tuberculosis, whooping cough, pneumonia, or flu.  When I have low cost medical like they do, maybe I'll change my mind.  I used March to figure out where and when to grocery shop to avoid it, as well as where to get outdoor exercise.  I'd like to go to a park...but geez, the state parks are so full that busloads of NYC people now are coming to enjoy the local parks for the day.  so, its bike the back roads or yoga in my garden. Even the high school cross country course is filled...with dog walkers avoiding the crowded parks.

How crowded are they?

[SKL]

48 minutes ago, Garga said:

Yes to this. So much yes. When everyone is home, it’s like I can’t even do basic chores. I don’t understand why not. I think what you wrote is true—I just can’t relax and work with an audience. The second everyone leaves the house, I get full of energy and dash around getting so much done.  And when everyone comes back home, I just sit there or get things done slowly.

For me it’s also that I know that the moment I start something, they will be an interruption.  And when I know there is an interruption coming, I get tense.  I can’t throw myself into a task if I know that I’ll have to leave it unfinished halfway through. 

The second everyone leaves my house, I feel a physical relaxation in my muscles that I never feel when people are around.  I’m constantly slightly tense all the time.  Sometimes if I stay up late, I can relax if everyone else is in their rooms.  The boys don’t fall asleep before me anymore, so I don’t fully relax, but at least they head off to their rooms and don’t come out until morning, so I can somewhat relax.

On one hand, I”ve been glad I’m an introvert through all this because I just don’t miss not seeing other people. I still love my friends and family, but I don’t seem to even realize how long it’s been since I’ve seen them.

But on the other hand...all these people in my house!  All the time!  This is the bad part of being an introvert and staying home with a family all day. About 4 times since March, my dh and sons went for a walk together and I had 30 glorious minutes of alone time.  A total of 2 hours of alone time in the house since March.  Sigh.

Sometimes I run errands in the car just to be alone in the car, like I make a special trip to get gas. Or instead of going to the pet store on the same day as the grocery store, I split it into two days. One day, DH accompanied me on my errands and it was really hard not to get resentful that I was missing out on my alone time.  😞   I felt like a heel.  But...I need a *little* time alone, you know?

 

Exactly!  Normally I have the house to myself for a chunk of time at least a few times a week.  Then I feel motivated to clean, and I can play a little piano or do other things where I don't like being watched.  Imagine not feeling like cleaning since March!  Of course I still do enough to keep the health department away, but it's not the same.  I also have not touched the piano since March.  Not fair.

I get my "alone time" by taking a long walk outside most days.  Thankfully, people rarely want to join me at that.  😛

With the majority of people missing others and feeling nice about the abundance of family time, I sound like a jerk.  Oh well, I didn't ask to be born an extreme introvert. 

[Guest]

22 hours ago, prairiewindmomma said:

Yup.  This feeling comes in waves for me.

Oddly, evacuating because of the wildfire smoke was a good "cheat week" from my quarantine "diet".  We only did it because I 100% would've been in an ER due to asthma had we not evacuated, so it was relative risk, but it was insanely good for my mental health.

I 100% recommend renting a vacation home for a week or so out in the countryside.  Take HEPA air purifiers and cleaning wipes.  But, just getting outside and doing different things was lovely.

 

 

We're doing that next week. It is fall break for the schools here, so I expect outdoor stuff to be mobbed, and I'm not teaching. We've rented a house within an easy drive of two of the schools DD has been accepted to, but has not yet visited. She can at least get an idea of the campus and area around it (both were willing to set up individual tours of campus, although mostly outside buildings) and we can go on walks to different places, get different takeout, and order groceries from a different supermarket. And no zoom calls for a week! 

 

On alone time, honestly the best part about going back to teach this fall is that I have an excuse to go over and work in my studio to prepare for lessons. The quiet is wonderful. 

Edited October 8, 2020 by dmmetler

[Garga]

2 hours ago, SKL said:

Exactly!  Normally I have the house to myself for a chunk of time at least a few times a week.  Then I feel motivated to clean, and I can play a little piano or do other things where I don't like being watched.  Imagine not feeling like cleaning since March!  Of course I still do enough to keep the health department away, but it's not the same.  I also have not touched the piano since March.  Not fair.

I get my "alone time" by taking a long walk outside most days.  Thankfully, people rarely want to join me at that.  😛

With the majority of people missing others and feeling nice about the abundance of family time, I sound like a jerk.  Oh well, I didn't ask to be born an extreme introvert. 

Yes! Again, I have to respond back to you because this is me as well!

I don’t have to imagine not feeling like cleaning since March.  😜 

[Not_a_Number]

1 hour ago, Heigh Ho said:

at capacity one hour after opening

Wow, busy. What is capacity?

[Not_a_Number]

46 minutes ago, Heigh Ho said:

Capacity is how many people are permitted to be present at any one time.  The actual number varies by the venue.  

No, I understand 🙂 . I'm curious how crowded things are at capacity.