Terabith Posted October 3, 2020 Share Posted October 3, 2020 So, question for old times sake. Is it appropriate for a mom to wear a bikini to a beach or public pool? While I would never in a million years wear one (being fat, having a massive abdominal scar, and also shoulders and boobs of a type/ size that make even tankinis impractical), I don't really care what other people wear. 7 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted October 3, 2020 Share Posted October 3, 2020 I think a burqini is more my style. 2 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hjffkj Posted October 3, 2020 Share Posted October 3, 2020 of course. why wouldn't it be? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted October 3, 2020 Share Posted October 3, 2020 (edited) If someone has the figure for a bikini at the beach, sure. I mean it's the appropriate place for it IMHO. But not to the grocery store or the gas station. For some reason, a bikini looks okay next to the beach but not really elsewhere. :) Edited October 4, 2020 by Liz CA 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 3, 2020 Share Posted October 3, 2020 Pot stirrer. 😉 I have never thought that it was inappropriate. But I wouldn't wear one myself. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted October 3, 2020 Share Posted October 3, 2020 I think it's totally fine. Personally I've been careful when to wear one since I was 15 and developed a D cup. Bikinis flip right up and uncover your books if you want to do anything but sunbathe in them. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 3, 2020 Share Posted October 3, 2020 And to stir the pot further. This conservative Christian mama never felt like her kids (boy or girl) were tainted by the sight of human bodies - even well endowed female ones. 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted October 3, 2020 Author Share Posted October 3, 2020 1 minute ago, Katy said: I think it's totally fine. Personally I've been careful when to wear one since I was 15 and developed a D cup. Bikinis flip right up and uncover your books if you want to do anything but sunbathe in them. See, maybe that's my issue? I hate sunbathing, and I love swimming, and I'm well beyond a D cup (but not as much as I was before I had a total of 11 pounds of boob removed in a reduction surgery). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bibiche Posted October 3, 2020 Share Posted October 3, 2020 I just wear the bottom. 😜 6 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 3, 2020 Share Posted October 3, 2020 Just now, bibiche said: I just wear the bottom. 😜 Lol, I just wear the top.... And then wear these legging/skirt things on the bottom. But at our beach house this summer, I wore that to kayak in. I don't generally pop on a bikini at a public beach, just because I can't really sit and move however I want without thinking about everything staying where it belongs, but....sure, once in a while, I'll put one on just to say Hey, I still can! 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoffive Posted October 3, 2020 Share Posted October 3, 2020 Totally fine I you want to wear one, then go for it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hippiemamato3 Posted October 3, 2020 Share Posted October 3, 2020 (edited) Of course. Why wouldn't they? And my answer is the same whether you are vastly overweight or not. Edited October 3, 2020 by hippiemamato3 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hippiemamato3 Posted October 3, 2020 Share Posted October 3, 2020 24 minutes ago, Liz CA said: If you someone has the figure for a bikini at the beach, sure. I mean it's the appropriate place for it IMHO. But not to the grocery store or the gas station. For some reason, a bikini looks okay next to the beach but not really elsewhere. 🙂 What does a "figure for a bikini" look like? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Ghost of Æthelthryth Posted October 3, 2020 Share Posted October 3, 2020 (edited) . Edited April 16, 2021 by Saxony 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 3, 2020 Share Posted October 3, 2020 2 minutes ago, hippiemamato3 said: What does a "figure for a bikini" look like? And....we've hit pay dirt! Just like old times! lol I'm laughing here. I'm smiling and cracking up. But seriously, that's exactly what started the controversy in the 90s or whenever it was, lol. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 3, 2020 Share Posted October 3, 2020 1 minute ago, Æthelflæd said: What I think is crazy is that you can't wear a burkini in parts of France. Legally requiring women to strip and show flesh is barbaric. Crazy swings both ways I guess. That makes some sense to me from what I know of the French. And yeah, it does. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 3, 2020 Share Posted October 3, 2020 3 minutes ago, hippiemamato3 said: What does a "figure for a bikini" look like? Exactly. Is someone going to judge whether I have the figure for a dress? Or a pair of pants? Yoga pants? (To bring up another contentious thread). If I want to show my fat, at least no one can accuse me of trying to lead men astray. . . 2 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hippiemamato3 Posted October 3, 2020 Share Posted October 3, 2020 Just now, Quill said: And....we've hit pay dirt! Just like old times! lol I'm laughing here. I'm smiling and cracking up. But seriously, that's exactly what started the controversy in the 90s or whenever it was, lol. It's funny. I wasn't there in those days. But the idea that someone thinks it's ok for someone to wear a bikini "if they have the figure for it" is absurd. If it fits, and you like it - wear it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Ghost of Æthelthryth Posted October 3, 2020 Share Posted October 3, 2020 (edited) . Edited April 16, 2021 by Saxony 17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 Just now, hippiemamato3 said: It's funny. I wasn't there in those days. But the idea that someone thinks it's ok for someone to wear a bikini "if they have the figure for it" is absurd. If it fits, and you like it - wear it. The older-school way of thinking about any kind of clothing or outfit was much more "if you have the figure for it." Call it male-dominated oppression about what women should or shouldn't wear; there is that explanation, but at 49, I definitely heard that messaging throughout my teen and young adulthood years: wear clothes that show you to your best advantage. (I mean, I even remember a book that my older sister got from school that was on "Charming Femininity" or something like that. It was all about which skirt to wear for your body shape and all other such nonsense. But I admit I do still think of some of those things when I choose clothes.) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 2 minutes ago, Æthelflæd said: Resolved: Carpet maintenance is part of responsible bikini-ing. Go. I would suggest "professional" carpet maintenance. But I have no idea how that works in the COVID world. But we know DIY is fraught with peril. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bibiche Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 8 minutes ago, Æthelflæd said: What I think is crazy is that you can't wear a burkini in parts of France. Legally requiring women to strip and show flesh is barbaric. Crazy swings both ways I guess. This was very controversial and the bans were lifted. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 2 minutes ago, Quill said: And....we've hit pay dirt! Just like old times! lol I'm laughing here. I'm smiling and cracking up. But seriously, that's exactly what started the controversy in the 90s or whenever it was, lol. There were also people in that thread arguing that once you're married (and especially once you become a mother) it's immoral to entice other men to look at you with lust by wearing a bikini. 1 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Ghost of Æthelthryth Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 (edited) . Edited April 16, 2021 by Saxony 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 What's funny is I literally remember the exact words someone used in a post, describing disdain for bikini-wearing moms at a public beach. I won't post them; for all I know, the poster still comes here. So I won't go there...after all, I would hate to be held to something I said a couple of decades ago on a message board. God knows...some of the things I have said. But it kinda cracks me up that I still remember those exact words. 2 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rebcoola Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 (edited) They can. Personal experience of swimming and having children has taught me that I will bare something if I do. Kids always hang on to straps. Bikinis in stores and restaurants are a no. My favorite thing about covid was no boat races. Meant no to thousands of people walking around basically naked. Why are they all in suits or skimpy clothing I don't know they aren't getting in the water. Their is no beach either they are on bleachers or tents provided by their work usually. I have a friend that would definitely be on the no bikini in public because of other men. Edited October 4, 2020 by rebcoola Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 3 minutes ago, Æthelflæd said: But it's total moral before in that case?!? 😂 You can catch one man with a bikini-clad body. Just not after you've hooked that one. 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 3 minutes ago, Æthelflæd said: But it's total moral before in that case?!? 😂 Well yeah. I mean, that's how you become a mother (though not necessarily married). 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonhawk Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 4 minutes ago, Corraleno said: There were also people in that thread arguing that once you're married (and especially once you become a mother) it's immoral to entice other men to look at you with lust by wearing a bikini. So following this logic, I think if I wore a bikini on the beach it would then be considered a moral service? Bop any male brains that may have gone awandering back to their wives. Maybe I could get paid by certain wives to block their husbands' views. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 42 minutes ago, bibiche said: I just wear the bottom. 😜 Also, here's something funny about this. When I was in the south of France, I knew there were several top-optional (or fully optional) beaches in the area. I did not go to any, but I seriously considered it, just because I think it would be fun to say, "Yup, I did that in France." Kind of like eating the escargot. Just to notch up an experience, lol. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 (edited) 42 minutes ago, hippiemamato3 said: It's funny. I wasn't there in those days. But the idea that someone thinks it's ok for someone to wear a bikini "if they have the figure for it" is absurd. If it fits, and you like it - wear it. Absolutely! Isn't there some kind of meme that says you have a bikini body if you are wearing a bikini and have a body? Oh, here's one: ETA - I don't wear one. I've had seven abdominal surgeries and my skin is droopy. I just wouldn't feel comfortable. But I love seeing women of all shapes and sizes have the confidence to wear them! 🙂 Edited October 4, 2020 by Kassia 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 If she wishes to! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 @Æthelflæd tagging only because I just figured how to type Æ! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmseB Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 My views have changed on this as I got older. I think it's the same as wearing a bra and panties, so I don't think it's appropriate personally, but it is okay socially and culturally for the most part and I have bigger fish to care about frying so I don't really give it a second thought when other people do it. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 Perfectly appropriate if the woman is comfortable, assuming it's not like a MTV Spring Break Special bikini. I wore one when my older kids were small for a while and quickly realized that they were not practical when toting small kids around. If someone else wants to, I don't care. Is it any different if it were a childfree woman? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SereneHome Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 (edited) I am very much a hypocrite when it comes to how people should dress in public. I think people should cover up more but when I was young I showed off whatever I could. But what I am not a hypocrite about is who can or can not wear certain things. For example, I would not be displaying my own cellulite and don't want to look at others' either. But that's all for discussion purposes, bc who really has the time or mental energy to really care about that kind of stuff IRL. Edited October 4, 2020 by SereneHome Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 (edited) No, I don't think people should wear what basically amounts to underwear in public. I think all private areas should be fully covered, including bums and breasts. Shocking, I know. 🙂 I don't know what being a mom has to do with it. 🤷♀️ Edited October 4, 2020 by MercyA 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 5 minutes ago, SereneHome said: I am very much a hypocrite when it comes to how people should dress in public. I think people should cover up more but when I was young I showed off whatever I could. But what I am not a hypocrite about is who can or can not wear certain things. For example, I would not be displaying my own cellulite and don't want to look at others' either. But that's all for discussion purposes, bc who really has the time or mental energy to really care about that kind of stuff IRL. The main thing I do not wish to display on myself is the disaster that is my veins. They are very bad; I have had multiple treatments and one surgery but now it is such a lost cause I just go the coverage route. So for me it’s not really about flab or fat. It’s those veins that look like a topographic map of the Chesapeake Bay. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopeallgoeswell Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 I grew up in the southeast on a beach. IMO, bikinis are always appropriate, kids or no kids. Going into a store off the beach in just a bikini, no cover-up/shoes, was commonplace. I guess it all depends on what you're used to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
almondbutterandjelly Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 Yes. And I live in a beach town so I also see them in the grocery store and the big box store. I don't care. I am very perplexed, however, by the current trend of the bikini bottoms wedged IN the booty so the entire booty shows. It looks so uncomfortable to me. It makes me want to shift in my seat on their behalf (we do a lot of staring at the ocean from the car, and bikinis pass by on occasion.) 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 8 minutes ago, Quill said: The main thing I do not wish to display on myself is the disaster that is my veins. They are very bad; I have had multiple treatments and one surgery but now it is such a lost cause I just go the coverage route. So for me it’s not really about flab or fat. It’s those veins that look like a topographic map of the Chesapeake Bay. Me too. I have terrible bulging varicose veins in my legs that I am so self-conscious about. I started getting them in my teens (my grandmother had bad ones) and they got much worse with each pregnancy. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 1 minute ago, Kassia said: Me too. I have terrible bulging varicose veins in my legs that I am so self-conscious about. I started getting them in my teens (my grandmother had bad ones) and they got much worse with each pregnancy. Soul sister. I started getting them in my teens, too. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, Quill said: I would suggest "professional" carpet maintenance. But I have no idea how that works in the COVID world. But we know DIY is fraught with peril. Especially if the carpet maintenance involves wax. We had a thread on this years ago that made me shiver. Edited October 4, 2020 by Liz CA 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 1 hour ago, Quill said: Soul sister. I started getting them in my teens, too. I have those bluish things. Are they actually considered varicose veins? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunter Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 (edited) I started gaining back bone mass when I started wearing a bikini to the beach and short shorts and tank tops for everyday wear. I am not sure if I even have full blown osteoporosis anymore. I stopped getting bones scans and stayed half naked and am hoping for the best. I get to survive longer, now. I am done trying to be "good" in ways that will kill me. Edited October 4, 2020 by Hunter 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 2 hours ago, hippiemamato3 said: What does a "figure for a bikini" look like? For some inexplicable and totally illogical reason, I don't mind seeing a young person in a Bikini at the beach but someone my age needs to be more mindful what we subject other people to. I like to blend in - I know some like to stand out - so I would not be in a bikini at the beach or anywhere else. However, many moons ago, we ran around the beach in Italy in bikinis and nobody thought anything of it - without kids and the potentially detrimental effect they can have on clothing that can be easily "dislocated." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 I think it's often a cultural thing, and also, I think it depends on what your reason is. I don't have a problem with moms (or any woman) wearing bikinis -- not matter how old or your shape, but if there's some subtle requirement for a woman to wear one to prove her sexuality and/or meet men's expectations, I'm not on board. But I've been to quite a few beaches in Europe where many women were topless (even old women), and it was very natural and no one stared and it didn't seem sexual ~ it was just part of sun-bathing, and I was really just fine with that. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 What would really make this a post for old times sake is if it got out of hand and someone started posting kilt photos. 😂 Alas, those days are gone. sigh 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted October 4, 2020 Author Share Posted October 4, 2020 I think I have a weird attitude about these things. I am very self conscious about my body, so I would never have worn a bikini, even when I was younger. But I truly have no issue with other people wearing them, no matter their body type, shape, or status of their carpet. I have no real issue with actual nudity. I am the only person in my house typically wearing pants. But....I have two teens with XX chromosomes. And despite my complete comfort with people in *general* wearing whatever the heck they want, I really, really have a deep antipathy to the idea of my children wearing a bikini. My husband had to talk me down when they wanted to wear skirts (gasp) above their knee. I break out in hives if my oldest wears a crop top, and I forbade them wearing it to orientation at school, despite the fact that there were, at this hippie school, a large number of other kids wearing them. I feel like this is deeply unhealthy and honestly WRONG of me to care about what they wear. And I don't feel like clothing prevents objectification or protects them in any way. It's got to be related to my adolescence spent growing up in purity culture and exhortations about clothing. How do I get over this? How do I know what's legitimately reasonable to ask them to refrain from wearing versus what is my own baggage that I need to just get over? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 31 minutes ago, Hunter said: I started gaining back bone mass when I started wearing a bikini to the beach and short shorts and tank tops for everyday wear. I am not sure if I even have full blown osteoporosis anymore. I stopped getting bones scans and stayed half naked and am hoping for the best. I get to survive longer, now. I am done trying to be "good" in ways that will kill me. Are you saying vitamin D has something to do with this? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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