there has to be an inbetween!!

[ktgrok]

It seems like my DS 8 is either on his butt looking at screens OR running wild through my house being incredibly loud. I keep trying to get him to be off screens, but not screeching and laughing at the top of his lungs while doing things likely to break himself or my house. 

Any ideas on things he and a 3 yr old can play together that don't destroy the house, or lead to broken skulls, and don't instigate screaming and yelling??? 

(examples of the chaos I'm trying to limit....trying to get DD3 to "help" him fall over while in the laundry hamper. Playing "bop the balloon" to keep it in the air while running/pushing/screeching, etc.)

[mommyoffive]

What toys do they have?

Legos

Snap circuits 

Audio books 

[ktgrok]

Just now, Happymomof1 said:

Well, at those ages, my children spent a TON of time running around outside being loud. Maybe an hour or two being quiet then they were sent outside to run off steam, particularly the boys. I think that is just being a kid.  Part of the reason, I don't think institutionalized school with being quiet for 8 hours, very little time to talk, etc. just isn't good for a lot of kids.

Yeah...it's just either 100 degrees outside or raining...or both.....constantly. Sigh. So they get overheated before they get worn out. 

2 minutes ago, mommyoffive said:

What toys do they have?

Legos

Snap circuits 

Audio books 

Legos, wooden blocks, train set, other construction toys, play food , cash register, etc. 

But EVERYTHING turns into some version of chase/tag/wrestling/fighting/ninjas/etc. 

This is my sensory seeker, and we've said since he was little he was "made of noise", but MAN! And granted, the three year old is not a good influence for calm play, they egg each other on. but I need a way for them to play that isn't SO crazy. DH is working from home indefinitely, DD10 is trying to do schoolwork, etc. 

[PeterPan]

We went to the park today. Maybe you need to throw them outside?

[PeterPan]

1 minute ago, Ktgrok said:

But EVERYTHING turns into some version of chase/tag/wrestling/fighting/ninjas/etc. 

Are places running gymnastics classes near you? Usually there's a recreational level for boys or something like ninja warrior...

[mommyoffive]

Get them outside a few times a day even if is hot.

Pool, iced drinks, water play, popsicles 

Then inside rotate things to do.  This much ti.e at home is hard.  School, painting, building, drawing, experiments, audio books.....

[ktgrok]

4 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

We went to the park today. Maybe you need to throw them outside?

Yeah, it's been raining all day. (and we get a lot of thunder with our rain - lightening capital of the world - so usually playing in the rain isn't an option)

And most days the heat index is around 100 degrees - so they come back in overheated (red faced, clammy even) if they run like crazy out there, and are too hot bfore they are worn out 😞

In a month or so it will be better, and they can play outside a ton. But I need to keep my sanity until then!

2 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

Are places running gymnastics classes near you? Usually there's a recreational level for boys or something like ninja warrior...

Yeah, there is no way we are doing indoors exercise here right now. DH has multiple risk factors, and this particular child has PANDAS so any infection, let alone a novel one,  can trigger brain inflammation that leads to months of neuropsych symptoms. Plus he has Celiac, and about 1/3 of people with Celiac have an immune dysfunction from hyposplenosis...and we don't know which ones. But AFTER the pandemic is under control/vaccine/etc yes - there are some places doing that kind of thing, parkour, etc. He's small and wirey with amazing upper body strength so he'd be great at it. I would have put him in gymnastics years ago but don't want to get into the whole travel/competition/scene. 

 

[ktgrok]

I had a thought just now.....he likes to play minecraft and watch Dan TDM and such...nothing graphic as far as violence (we are very careful about that due to his OCD/PANDAS/Intrusive thoughts/nightmares), but it is a LOT of cartoon fighting. Ugh...is watching that why he has to constantly play fight??? Or is that just normal boy stuff? DS21 has ASD and didn't really play with other people, and was an only child until he was 10, so we didn't have this issue!

I did tell him that if he can't find a way to play that isn't fighting I'm taking away minecraft, dan tdm, etc...so that may motivate him. 

Right now he and his sister are playing with some toys, and no fighting exactly, but lots of yelling...much of it about poop, lol. He's just so LOUD!!!!!!!!!!! 

Man do I wish we had like, a finished basement or something! Where I could let them be crazy, put a trampoline, something!!! We are 6 people and 5 pets in lss than 1,500 sq feet. And the biggest bedroom space is the master which is also my husband's office now. And it shares walls with both our living spaces - so no whre to put them where he can't hear them. 

[mommyoffive]

9 minutes ago, Ktgrok said:

I had a thought just now.....he likes to play minecraft and watch Dan TDM and such...nothing graphic as far as violence (we are very careful about that due to his OCD/PANDAS/Intrusive thoughts/nightmares), but it is a LOT of cartoon fighting. Ugh...is watching that why he has to constantly play fight??? Or is that just normal boy stuff? DS21 has ASD and didn't really play with other people, and was an only child until he was 10, so we didn't have this issue!

I did tell him that if he can't find a way to play that isn't fighting I'm taking away minecraft, dan tdm, etc...so that may motivate him. 

Right now he and his sister are playing with some toys, and no fighting exactly, but lots of yelling...much of it about poop, lol. He's just so LOUD!!!!!!!!!!! 

Man do I wish we had like, a finished basement or something! Where I could let them be crazy, put a trampoline, something!!! We are 6 people and 5 pets in lss than 1,500 sq feet. And the biggest bedroom space is the master which is also my husband's office now. And it shares walls with both our living spaces - so no whre to put them where he can't hear them. 

That is tight.   Having a dh working from home is hard.   We have 2900 square feet not sure if that counts  our basement. But it is really tight for us.  7 people, 2 dogs , and a dh who works from home.  Do you plan on moving?

[mommyoffive]

Do you rotate toys?

It will be so much better when it cools down 

A subscription box?

Crafts

[Okra]

Honestly, the best idea I have is a big pile of dirt.  If it is nice outside, shovels and water.  Playing in mud is so much fun.  Digging canals in dirt for water to go through is so much fun.   Making mud pies is great fun.  You can even throw in some old spices from your spice cabinet for extra authenticity.   If it is not nice enough outside for water, then dig for treasure.

If inside is the only option....rotate the toys.  Good luck!

 

 

 

[Ellie]

1 hour ago, Ktgrok said:

It seems like my DS 8 is either on his butt looking at screens OR running wild through my house being incredibly loud. I keep trying to get him to be off screens, but not screeching and laughing at the top of his lungs while doing things likely to break himself or my house. 

Any ideas on things he and a 3 yr old can play together that don't destroy the house, or lead to broken skulls, and don't instigate screaming and yelling??? 

(examples of the chaos I'm trying to limit....trying to get DD3 to "help" him fall over while in the laundry hamper. Playing "bop the balloon" to keep it in the air while running/pushing/screeching, etc.)

Is he *capable* of doing quiet things? Is a he generally obedient?

[katilac]

I live in Louisiana, and my kids got tossed outside at least twice a day even in the worst of heat, lol. Get them up early enough to play outside before it's the absolute worst - this can be the longer session. Turn on the hose or sprinkler, give them juice and popsicles (have outside be the only time they have these). Invest in a pop-up canopy or big umbrellas to somewhat shield them from the sun, or buy/build a fort. A water table is another great investment. Do you have a wooden fence? A spray bottle of water let's them 'draw' on the fence again and again, and it's not strenuous. This might need to be a supervised playtime for a while, with you guiding activities that don't lead to being overheated in ten minutes. 

There is no substitute for outdoor time, imo. 

1 hour ago, Ktgrok said:

I had a thought just now.....he likes to play minecraft and watch Dan TDM and such...nothing graphic as far as violence (we are very careful about that due to his OCD/PANDAS/Intrusive thoughts/nightmares), but it is a LOT of cartoon fighting. Ugh...is watching that why he has to constantly play fight??? 

 I think that too much screen time in general affects the focus of a lot of kids, and they find it difficult transition and engage in positive play. Cutting or even eliminating screen time is definitely worth a shot. It doesn't have to be forever, just till you find the sweet spot of helpful entertainment that doesn't inhibit play. Definitely I would place screen time toward the end of the day, like late afternoon. 

I'm sure that the general stress and changes that come along with covid aren't helping matters any. Because dh is home and you can't really go much of anywhere, I don't see any solution except to get them outside more often. 

[fairfarmhand]

I do know that if my ADDish kid starts the day playing any kind of screen it sets us up for a bad day. I read an explanation that the ADD brain is all wound up and crazy and looking at this and that and sounds and images all over the place. Video games FEED that part of the ADD brain. What we want to do with our ADD-ish kids is to help them wind down that tendency of their brains. So while I allow a little of that kind of thing, I 1. make sure it's after school is done for the day. 2. Make sure he's got plenty of outdoor time to blow off the winding up of his brain in wild play. 

When it's winter and he cant get outside, I try to push video games off till way late in the day, like after supper. Otherwise, since he can't get outdoors, he uses his wound up brain to annoy people. But it can not too late because the blue light and sleep don't go well together. 

[ktgrok]

2 hours ago, Ellie said:

Is he *capable* of doing quiet things? Is a he generally obedient?

So....he WANTS to be good...but yeah, he's my serious ADHD one. So he forgets. Over and over. Very impulsive. Very easily wound up. Very forgetful/distracted. 

[Kidlit]

Are you sure you haven’t been at my house?  10 yo and 7 yo boys here. 😱

[ElizabethB]

There was a ninja tag thing that was popular when my kids were that age.  You had to be quiet for it.  You were sneaking so could not talk or be noisy, but it was a bit physical.  

Mini tramp? Jump rope breaks?  It's hard to get enough exercise in when it's so hot out. 

You can have them wear ice scarfs outside, maybe?  You wrap a row of ice cubes in a scarf, fold a rectangle scarf into a triangle, put ice row on long edge, roll up ice, tie around neck. Also, wear soaked swim suits and soaked cotton tops outside. This could make outside last a bit longer. 

[Guest]

Maybe a mini tramp or air mat? Do you have anywhere an indoor swing would work? Could he do handstands against a wall? Kick overs from a folded mat or off a bed? Maybe a wiggle disc to balance on? Or a big can of something? 
 

Or, can you run a sprinkler in the back yard so they can be outside and a bit cooler? I used to run the sprinkler next to my DD’s swing set because that swinging, tumbling, spinning stuff was necessary for her. 
 

And yeah, once Covid is passed, definitely check gyms for unlimited tumbling/open gym. Once I discovered the existence of unlimited tumbling, it was definitely a sanity saver in the summer, since it was essentially an indoor air conditioned playground with supervision.

Edited September 28, 2020 by dmmetler

[ktgrok]

43 minutes ago, dmmetler said:

Maybe a mini tramp or air mat? Do you have anywhere an indoor swing would work? Could he do handstands against a wall? Kick overs from a folded mat or off a bed? Maybe a wiggle disc to balance on? Or a big can of something? 
 

 

OH!!!!! We HAVE an indoor swing and it got taken down, I forget why, a week or so ago...and that's about when I started losing my mind! It has a swing, a pull up bar, rings, etc and he was on and off it all day! That thing is going back up tomorrow!!!!!

[prairiewindmomma]

I think you already figured it out....but at those ages, we had to feed the sensory stuff pretty hardcore 4x a day. 

[BlsdMama]

Katie - as an aside... didn’t meds help you a ton with ADHD? Screen seeking, impulsive, sensory... Age nine is at the point we were told to consider meds for DS (two of mine take meds of my 11 kiddos.) Just something to keep in mind if suggestions don’t provide solutions. 

[BlsdMama]

1 hour ago, Ktgrok said:

OH!!!!! We HAVE an indoor swing and it got taken down, I forget why, a week or so ago...and that's about when I started losing my mind! It has a swing, a pull up bar, rings, etc and he was on and off it all day! That thing is going back up tomorrow!!!!!

My trampoline died in the derecho and I’m missing it fiercely!!

[ktgrok]

3 minutes ago, BlsdMama said:

My trampoline died in the derecho and I’m missing it fiercely!!

I bet!

I'm just glad to figure it out! I mean, that won't SOLVE the problem, and I'll be back to yelling at him to remember to put the mat down if he's swinging upside down from the rings, lol, but man! Turns out the kid needs those 20 pull ups a day, upside down swinging, etc!

[Katy]

I was going to suggest an indoor rebounder.

[mommyoffive]

5 minutes ago, BlsdMama said:

My trampoline died in the derecho and I’m missing it fiercely!!

Early holiday present.  

[Melissa in Australia]

I send mine outside as soon as they stared getting rowdy. Even if it is hot. 

[SKL]

I agree with sending them outside, and if they don't like the heat, they can put forth a little more effort to act tame while inside.

But, I also think maybe I'd set up a designated space indoors for kid-appropriate play and noise.

[J-rap]

Have you tried arts and crafts projects?  I have several friends whose kids were a very sensory-type with lots of excess energy, but they could get out some of that energy by immersing themselves in craft projects.  In fact, I can think of two kids like that who eventually became artists!

[Doodlebug]

I haven't read all the responses, and I'm hesitant to share my experience because I know how it would've sounded to me when I was frustrated and hard-up for ideas to keep DS engaged.  If it's helpful, great!  If not, ignore.  😉

The short of it... I recognized at around 8-9 that my DS needed very specific limits on screens and the cue for that was unmoderated behavior during his free no-screen time.  

We did massive revisions on our media -- scaled back to video games once a week--yikes!  My inner 13 year old cried "hypocrite!" LOL!  But DS required a hard break between screen sessions to prevent the fixation with planning and anticipating what he was going to do in his next online session -- that fixation invaded every moment.  It made him moody and fitful in a way that sought behavioral and sensory outlets.  My DS's bend made moderation nearly impossible until maturity could help us there.   

The change in him after a few days of screen-rest was pretty dramatic.  It made ME different with him.     

Even now, DS is 14 and there are times when his behavior and mood tell me he needs a media reset.  Last week was one of them.  He is learning that the impulse that drives him to media can't be trusted.  And he told me, "I need to be more selfish about my free time."  (He's learning, yay!)  If he's not reading, creating stories, or actively pursuing an interest outside of media, he's online too much. 

I hate being a media cop--hate isn't strong enough a word! So I feel for you as I write this.  FWIW, watching a TV show didn't have the same impact on DS as online games/youtube sessions.  Audio books were awesome, too.  He got into reading Percy Jackson at around 9 and then listened to Daulaire's Greek Myths constantly -- he LOVED that audio (and got a gold on the mythology exam that year--the patoot head!)          

Doodlebug          

 

[rebcoola]

Heavy work. http://mamaot.com/40-heavy-work-activities-kids/

[Katy]

I wonder if you could build a (grounded) covered playhouse in your backyard?  Possibly with a covered walkway from your backdoor or porch?  Safe from lightening but still out of your house.