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Personal covid experiences


Terabith

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12 minutes ago, Amy Gen said:

Dh had an old friend call yesterday. The friend’s wife had COVID and fainted. By the time he found her, she was turning blue. The ambulance took her to the hospital, and she was in an oxygen tent. They were getting ready to put her on a ventilator when she took a turn for the better and avoided it. 
 

Meanwhile, Friend is home taking care of 4 little boys and worrying about his wife when he notices he can’t taste anything. He gets very sick and is in bed when his boss calls. Yup. They laid him off. He was calling Dh for job leads. 
 

How sad is that? They are in their 40s. The only reason he was laid off was because he made more money than his coworkers. I brought up an age discrimination suit, but I don’t know if it is worth it. 

Oh, that is just a terrible story.

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41 minutes ago, Amy Gen said:

Dh had an old friend call yesterday. The friend’s wife had COVID and fainted. By the time he found her, she was turning blue. The ambulance took her to the hospital, and she was in an oxygen tent. They were getting ready to put her on a ventilator when she took a turn for the better and avoided it. 
 

Meanwhile, Friend is home taking care of 4 little boys and worrying about his wife when he notices he can’t taste anything. He gets very sick and is in bed when his boss calls. Yup. They laid him off. He was calling Dh for job leads. 
 

How sad is that? They are in their 40s. The only reason he was laid off was because he made more money than his coworkers. I brought up an age discrimination suit, but I don’t know if it is worth it. 

Oh that poor family.  This just breaks my heart.  I can't imagine the stress that dad is under right now.   

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53 minutes ago, ktgrok said:

She seems very surprised to be feeling so badly, so long. (long being a week, mind you). 

It's a really really random disease. I wish people got that through their thick skulls. You might have no symptoms, and you might have a mild cold, and you might feel like you have the flu, and you may feel crappy for 6 months, and you may have to be hospitalized, and you may die. 

And for many age groups, quite a few of those options are fairly likely... with flu or mild cold the likeliest outcomes, but by no means not the ONLY likely outcomes. 

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This might not be the right thread for this so sorry if not. 
We are doing really good at work right now. We haven’t had an acute Covid patient in our ICU for a couple of weeks. We’ve had a couple of people who had it a few months or so ago and have come in with complications caused later on but not acute patients. I seemed sort of ok during the busy, seemingly endless time when we had lots of patients, but for the last little while I have really been struggling with feeling depressed. Not sure what’s going on with me. My parents are far away and I don’t know when I’ll see them but they have had the first vaccine dose so that’s a relief. I haven’t felt this bad in a long time. 
Not really a personal Covid story but maybe sort of related.

I did work a mass vaccine clinic last weekend and that was actually really nice and raised my spirits a bit.

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2 minutes ago, TCB said:

This might not be the right thread for this so sorry if not. 
We are doing really good at work right now. We haven’t had an acute Covid patient in our ICU for a couple of weeks. We’ve had a couple of people who had it a few months or so ago and have come in with complications caused later on but not acute patients. I seemed sort of ok during the busy, seemingly endless time when we had lots of patients, but for the last little while I have really been struggling with feeling depressed. Not sure what’s going on with me. My parents are far away and I don’t know when I’ll see them but they have had the first vaccine dose so that’s a relief. I haven’t felt this bad in a long time. 
Not really a personal Covid story but maybe sort of related.

I did work a mass vaccine clinic last weekend and that was actually really nice and raised my spirits a bit.

I am so sorry you are feeling depressed.  Sending lots of good thoughts your way.   Do you think it could be post traumatic stress?   I hope you are able to see your parents soon.  Them having their first dose is such a positive step in that direction.   

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On 3/8/2021 at 10:08 AM, Not_a_Number said:

I think it'll be "over" in the sense that things will reopen, people will decide what risks they are wiling to take, and everything will resettle. Right now, we're in a state of suspended animation over here, and that will end. But I think you're right that we won't eradicate this virus. It's really hard to see that happen given the vaccination rates and the fact that immunity doesn't last. 

As for what happens in the longer term... I really can't predict. I wouldn't be surprised if the world became more unstable, period, and I have no idea if COVID is going to be the determining factor for that. 

I hope you are right about the things resettling, but every time I talk to DH, I just get depressed. He is working with several companies that developed the Covid rapid test and keeps telling me how they are planning to ramp up production, because they are expecting a greater need for testing in the future, because of variants 

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14 minutes ago, mommyoffive said:

I am so sorry you are feeling depressed.  Sending lots of good thoughts your way.   Do you think it could be post traumatic stress?   I hope you are able to see your parents soon.  Them having their first dose is such a positive step in that direction.   

Although we had a busy time, we weren’t completely overwhelmed like hospitals in NY etc. so I don’t think it’s ptsd, but maybe just the change of pace or something. I’m so relieved about my parents vaccinations. Hope I get to fly over and see them before too long. 

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19 minutes ago, TCB said:

I seemed sort of ok during the busy, seemingly endless time when we had lots of patients, but for the last little while I have really been struggling with feeling depressed.

I am sorry.   I am in no way any kind of expert on psychology, but my limited understanding is that this is a very common response to an extended trauma.  And I have heard some mental health experts say that they expect a massive need among health care workers after the worst of the covid crisis is over, for precisely this reason.  

Are there any counseling or other psychological services available through your work?  

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2 minutes ago, JennyD said:

I am sorry.   I am in no way any kind of expert on psychology, but my limited understanding is that this is a very common response to an extended trauma.  And I have heard some mental health experts say that they expect a massive need among health care workers after the worst of the covid crisis is over, for precisely this reason.  

Are there any counseling or other psychological services available through your work?  

There is the option of a few counseling sessions through a work scheme and I’ve been thinking about looking into that. 

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Just now, TCB said:

There is the option of a few counseling sessions through a work scheme and I’ve been thinking about looking into that. 

That sounds like a good idea.  Your experience has been so specific to your job, it seems like counseling in that context could be very helpful.  

 

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@TCB, you’ve been through a lot. Simultaneously, large swaths of our population has acted like it’s no big deal. I think the devil may care response from some segments of society could reasonably compound the difficulties.

Some people also process more deeply after the experience while others respond earlier or explain things away. 

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1 hour ago, TCB said:

I haven’t felt this bad in a long time. 
Not really a personal Covid story but maybe sort of related.

I did work a mass vaccine clinic last weekend and that was actually really nice and raised my spirits a bit.

Hope your spirits continue to go up. Thank you for all you're doing! Probably going from so busy to less busy is giving you extra time to dwell on everything...

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3 hours ago, kbutton said:

@TCB, you’ve been through a lot. Simultaneously, large swaths of our population has acted like it’s no big deal. I think the devil may care response from some segments of society could reasonably compound the difficulties.

Some people also process more deeply after the experience while others respond earlier or explain things away. 

I think at least a part, maybe a big part, of why I’m feeling down is because of the way people around here have been behaving, especially my church friends. That part feels so disheartening, and almost feels like grieving a loss. Also, it’s hard to look into the future because of that, as I feel really out of place here now. 

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3 hours ago, Kanin said:

Hope your spirits continue to go up. Thank you for all you're doing! Probably going from so busy to less busy is giving you extra time to dwell on everything...

Yes time to dwell on things is part of it. I guess you just keep going while you have to. There’s also a bit of dread that it’s going to happen again.

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10 minutes ago, TCB said:

I think at least a part, maybe a big part, of why I’m feeling down is because of the way people around here have been behaving, especially my church friends. That part feels so disheartening, and almost feels like grieving a loss. Also, it’s hard to look into the future because of that, as I feel really out of place here now. 

I think it IS grieving a loss. And it's not just grieving the loss of one friend... it's grieving the loss of a community. 

I think that's a terribly hard place to be in. I understand why you are depressed 😞 . 

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2 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

I think it IS grieving a loss. And it's not just grieving the loss of one friend... it's grieving the loss of a community. 

I think that's a terribly hard place to be in. I understand why you are depressed 😞 . 

I saw this kind of loss termed as "ambiguous loss." 

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8 minutes ago, TCB said:

I think at least a part, maybe a big part, of why I’m feeling down is because of the way people around here have been behaving, especially my church friends. That part feels so disheartening, and almost feels like grieving a loss. Also, it’s hard to look into the future because of that, as I feel really out of place here now. 

I've heard this from a # of people, both here & in other circles I'm in. And it does seem to hit Christians (who aren't supported by their churches) the hardest. Maybe because the people you thought would always have your back ditched you at the first sign of a paper mask? (note: I'm not saying that's what they did, but I imagine this is what it might feel like.) That's a HUGE loss. And there's no going back, not unless you choose to pretend it all never happened or it all doesn't matter. So you can't go back, but it's also not clear how to go forward.

Tough times.

Hugs.

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Just now, Ali in OR said:

This just amused me. "Precise" definition for "ambiguous" loss.

Well, I guess I don't have a feeling for when it applies! What makes it ambiguous, exactly? Because you aren't sure if you lost it or not? 

So, yes, I need more precision, so I can understand the term 🙂 . 

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31 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

Hmm, never heard that term before. What does it mean, precisely? 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambiguous_loss#:~:text=Ambiguous loss is a loss,often results in unresolved grief.

https://www.ambiguousloss.com/about/

Quick google search answer. I don't know if I have the article I saw that discussed it in terms of the pandemic, differing responses to the pandemic, and/or politics, but that is where I first heard of it. Apparently our current situation is rife with ambiguous losses. 

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Just now, kbutton said:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambiguous_loss#:~:text=Ambiguous loss is a loss,often results in unresolved grief.

https://www.ambiguousloss.com/about/

Quick google search answer. I don't know if I have the article I saw that discussed it in terms of the pandemic, differing responses to the pandemic, and/or politics, but that is where I first heard of it. Apparently our current situation is rife with ambiguous losses. 

Ah-ha. Quick and perhaps imprecise answer: loss without closure. Got it, thank you. 

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50 minutes ago, TCB said:

I think at least a part, maybe a big part, of why I’m feeling down is because of the way people around here have been behaving, especially my church friends. That part feels so disheartening, and almost feels like grieving a loss. Also, it’s hard to look into the future because of that, as I feel really out of place here now. 

It is disheartening, and as a person who often looks to the future and makes choices for today based on that future, I am at loose ends. It would be so much worse if my entire livelihood was spent caring for people who are suffering from something that has been trivialized by a big margin of my personal acquaintances.

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1 minute ago, kbutton said:

It is disheartening, and as a person who often looks to the future and makes choices for today based on that future, I am at loose ends. It would be so much worse if my entire livelihood was spent caring for people who are suffering from something that has been trivialized by a big margin of my personal acquaintances.

I also feel at loose ends, for the same reason. I'm a planner who can't plan. And it's not as bad for me as for you -- it's not like my whole community turned against me. But even with the values differences we do have, it's very hard to plan -- will they vaccinate? What about the few people (like my ex-friend) who are probably still blowing it off? How do I deal with them? 

I can't even imagine how left behind I would feel if my whole community collectively decided to behave immorally. 

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Update on my ten family members... everyone who was just quarantining has gotten negative results, whew.  

Of the three who were positive:

One is on Day 8 or 9, temp 104, coughing, miserable.  I’m really concerned.

The elder is still coughing but improving.

The one who was partially vaxxed is sick, but taking care of the others, plus kids.  I honestly don’t know how he’s doing it.

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Ugh, DH just found out that his Uncle pass of Covid this afternoon. This is a horrible year so far, DH lost 3 members of his extended family in the last 10 weeks. They all live in Los Angeles. His uncle (70) had no pre-existing conditions. He was sick for 6 weeks before his heart gave out. 

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DH tested positive for Covid a month ago. We think he got it at work (office setting, lax mask usage). A co-worker was sick with cold symptoms and tested negative for Covid twice, but complained of extreme fatigue which seems odd for a cold. So we are guessing he was the culprit, but who knows. DH had a fever for a few days and was pretty tired, then just had a cough for another 10 days or so. The rest of us never had symptoms and tested negative twice. Dh isolated pretty completely and we were super careful. I am SO GLAD the rest of us didn’t get it. 

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13 hours ago, TCB said:

This might not be the right thread for this so sorry if not. 
We are doing really good at work right now. We haven’t had an acute Covid patient in our ICU for a couple of weeks. We’ve had a couple of people who had it a few months or so ago and have come in with complications caused later on but not acute patients. I seemed sort of ok during the busy, seemingly endless time when we had lots of patients, but for the last little while I have really been struggling with feeling depressed. Not sure what’s going on with me. My parents are far away and I don’t know when I’ll see them but they have had the first vaccine dose so that’s a relief. I haven’t felt this bad in a long time. 
Not really a personal Covid story but maybe sort of related.

I did work a mass vaccine clinic last weekend and that was actually really nice and raised my spirits a bit.

You've been through so much. I hope you can find relief.

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2 hours ago, slackermom said:

My mom and her husband have been in a bubble with another married couple for the past year. The wife has been treating for lung cancer for a while, and about 2 months ago she was in the hospital getting treatment for that, and tested positive for covid. Her husband then tested positive for it, but my mom and her husband tested negative.

The wife was eventually admitted to a covid ward, and while she was in there, her husband got acutely sick at home with a covid URI (and he is diabetic), and he ended up in a different hospital via ambulance, and died there.

The wife "recovered" from covid, but was still quite weak, so she was moved to a different ward, and would have been sent home but there was no one there to care for her, and her insurance company was refusing to cover at home care. Her son ended up moving in to her place temporarily so she could come home, and yesterday she died there, after about a week back at home I think. 

My mom said she had been masking around them like I recommended. I told her that I have been pretty strictly masking at home "to protect the bubble" since Thanksgiving. As I posted up-thread, my ex caught covid Thanksgiving weekend, and I have been having to manage joint custody in the covid era. 

My mom got her second vaccine on Tuesday, the day before her friend died. I am hoping to go down to Florida to visit her soon, and give her an overdue hug. My second shot is 3/25. 

 

I am so sorry for your loss.  That is so sad. 

 

 

Here is a study that came out yesterday about predictors of long Covid. 

Attributes and predictors of long COVID | Nature Medicine

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