Have You Ever Moved Just... Because?

[easypeasy]

We've lived in the same house for 25 years. It's a perfectly nice house. It's perfectly sized for our family of 5, but won't feel too huge when our kids are out. We have a nice yard. We have nice neighbors. Can't beat the location. No complaints. It's fine. 
 

But - both DH and I sort of want to move. We have a general idea of what we want (larger, so that we each have a private workspace, lots of windows, woodsy yard, on the water) but it feels ridiculously frivolous to move out of a paid-for house and to gain a house payment right when our kids are raised. 
 

Ideally, I want a fixer upper. I'll actually have time to work on it since our youngest is nearly finished with his homeschooling years. DHs business is really busy, so we'd hire what I can't do and I'd do the rest (flooring, painting, etc). That sounds gloriously fun. 
 

So - have you ever moved because you just wanted to? Far away or close by? Any regrets? Was it as satisfying as we imagine it will be?

I've only known people who have moved for "real reasons."  lol So this feels foreign and vaguely ridiculous. 

Maybe this is our midlife crisis - we are right at 50 years old. lol But I'm just really tired of this same house and the same views and the same streets and the same neighbors and the same travel routes. I'd love to start with a fresh, clean slate on organizing and sorting and decorating....

We're constantly fixing and painting stuff we've fixed and painted over and over again and it's sort of grating (though, inevitable, of course... thus is homeownership).

Plus, I think it'd be fun to start our own "new nest" now that our kids are grownups instead of living in the same house they grew up in... 

[Anne]

I’ve never done it, and what you’re describing doesn’t sound like fun to me, but that’s really irrelevant.  It sounds to me as if you and your dh are on the same page, so if you can find the right property, why shouldn’t you do it?   Go for it!!

 

Anne

[easypeasy]

36 minutes ago, Anne said:

I’ve never done it, and what you’re describing doesn’t sound like fun to me, but that’s really irrelevant.  

Anne

The fixer-upping part? Or the moving after 25 years of accumulating stuff in one spot? lol I can see how either could sound unappealing  

I love home Improvement projects but our current house just doesn't need that kind of facelift - it just needs the same old, same old stuff. I want power tools and paintbrushes!! We've done this before with rental properties, so I know what I can/can't do, but we were always so "practical" because they were rentals, so I can't say they were "fun," lol.

But moving? Yeah, THAT doesn't sound like fun and is actually a huge reason we haven't moved before this. It's just so much work. 🥵 (but would be the perfect time for the kids to reeeally downsize their stuff before they are officially moving out...)

Edited September 21, 2020 by easypeasy

[easypeasy]

I think it's the adding a house payment that makes me the most uncertain. We're not getting any younger and could put a lot more back for retirement if we stay put...

But another 25 years in this house... 😭😭😭 I dunno. Maybe that really is enough reason to move. Being homeschooling - at home - for all these years, I think I really do need new things to look at. I've spent an awful lot of time looking at these walls, lol. 
 

edited to add: I just read the "has the pandemic made you re-think where you live?" thread and it dawned on me that this never-ending stay-at-home thing is probably what's driven me to finally be willing to pack up all our accumulated stuff and really move. It's been, what? 6+ months and still going of being at home 95% of the time. I guess all the little things I didn't like about this house have really Magnified now that I'm home allllllll the time. 

Edited September 21, 2020 by easypeasy

[Ottakee]

It would be the financial end that would concern me.  A fixer upper always means way more money than you expect and more issues and problems.  So I would be leery of going into debt for that.  If you could find a fixer upper cheaper than your current house so you could use the equity you already have for the improvements that might be better.

Also factor in moving costs....depending on your area, your property taxes might go way up if you have had your increases capped for years and years.  Then all of the loan fees, expenses of moving stuff, realtor fees to sell your place, etc.

I am right at 50 too but decided 2 years ago to go smaller, simpler, etc and don't regret it at all.

[LMD]

What do you consider 'real reasons'?

We moved here because we wanted to. We picked the area and land first, then waited for the job to match. Our reasons boil down to, we just wanted to 😄

You only live once!

[MEmama]

Every move I’ve made was just because. 🙂 

[Carrie12345]

I’ve never done it, but I do relate to the itch to do big projects. Particularly big projects to be done while not living in the space!  If the timing were right, I would put that into a rental or flip property.

But I say that as someone who still wants to move for reasons. I don’t want to move into a fixer upper, but I do like the idea of playing with one.

[Spryte]

We moved to a bigger house, on a woodsy lot, with a pond.  It was a good move for us. I understand the urge.  

But our previous house was not paid off, we didn’t move into a fixer upper, and we did have a few reasons for our move that made it more compelling (proximity to elders being one).

I’d be cautious about deciding now.  No mortgage would be a big anchor here.

And fixer uppers ... I personally wouldn’t choose one. But I have a friend who got her GC license in her 50s because she just loves fixing houses so much.  So to each their own!  (Be wary of the massive hidden costs though, ouch.)

 

 

I never have moved just because, but I really want more than my 1/3 acre.  I would love a historic home.  My reality is I live in the home I grew up in, it’s paid off, and anything with more land is too far away.  I totally understand the desire to move - I have looked at these walls a long time 😉 if you and your husband are on the same page, I would go for it.  Mortgage rates are low and at 50 you still have a lot of time in front of you.

[Beth S]

We became Empty Nesters last month, so we are contemplating downsizing.
The negatives of our home are being amplified in our minds.

However, we are likely to stay here b/c moving MIGHT be more expensive.
Also DIY may end up taking a year of hard work to prep our house for sale and THEN prep the new house for living.
We're also realizing that our location may be impossible to replicate (private wooded setting, kind/dependable neighbors).

All that to say, we may end up moving "just because" . . . but it's hard to leave behind all the advantages (& happy memories).

ETA = I no longer believe in a "forever home" or a "dream home".  I think our needs/tastes/abilities change so significantly over time that I need to be as flexible about the future as possible!

Edited September 21, 2020 by Beth S

[lmrich]

Yes - we had been in the same house for 23 years and wanted an upgrade. Dh did not want yard work anymore. Our old house was dark; the new one is light and bright. The old house was perfect for raising kids (location in the neighborhood, shady yard, playroom, etc..); the new house is better for young adults - close to Coffee shops, a bike trail, and the freeway. 

 

[sassenach]

Don't do it!!!! This is a grass is greener situation. Moving is SO HARD. Discovering all the hidden, expensive issues in a house is hard and expensive. I'm telling you, find another outlet. My neighbor, who can't be happy without a home project, put up a she-shed in her back yard. They did all the work and it's an adorable work space. Then after that, they bought a small cabin in the woods to fix up. 

Maybe you'd like to rehab an RV? IDK, anything to not sacrifice a paid off house that already works for your family.

[wintermom]

We're moving from Canada to Colorado for dh's job. We don't have to, but we're doing it as an adventure - a growth experience for the entire family.  Both dh and I are in our 50s and we want to able to experience living in a mountain area while we're still young and fit enough to hike, ski, etc. Our dc are ages 14 - 20, and hopefully they'll enjoy this adventure as well. 

The pandemic delayed our move for at least a year, but we're still keen on going so long as nothing else crazy happens in the world.

It would be easier and comfortable to stay put, but life has to be lived to its fullest and 'nothing ventured, nothing gained.'

 

[Miss Tick]

I totally agree with @sassenach
but I'm intrigued that you don't think you can make the change without ending up with a long term mortgage. It seems like you might be able to find what you want for less than you would get for you current house. I realize that there are a lot of variables and you couldn't know for sure, but it seems possible.

[Matryoshka]

7 minutes ago, SusanC said:

I totally agree with @sassenach
but I'm intrigued that you don't think you can make the change without ending up with a long term mortgage. It seems like you might be able to find what you want for less than you would get for you current house. I realize that there are a lot of variables and you couldn't know for sure, but it seems possible.

I was thinking the same thing.  If your house is paid off, and you're not moving to a super-more expensive location, why would you be taking on a mortgage?  If anything, a fixer-upper should be less expensive than what you're selling your current house for, and you'd even have some to fund the fixing.

I've lived in a vintage fixer-upper for the past 25 years, and it makes me tired to even think of moving.  I think dh would like to, to get a smaller yard and less house work, but there is so much stuff in here.  I'm feeling ever more planted.  Think I'd rather find someone to do the yardwork...

[easypeasy]

Thanks for the input!! Lots to consider and I'm glad that others have made the move for "just because we wanted to" kinda of reasons!

A couple clarifications:
 

1) DH worked construction for years  and has his own specialized company that deals with new and remodel construction. We'd be hiring ppl he's worked with and/or hired for years (decades?). I think that makes a huge difference when it comes to remodeling - we already know who will be doing what & trust them to do exactly what they say (of course, things can not go as planned, but we're about as insured against that as could realistically be).
 

2) Our house has been paid off for nearly a decade, which is really nice. But the neighborhood isn't "getting any younger." Our home value has not increased in years - it's a stagnate location. Which makes any updates we want to do here feel *really* wasteful unless we've committed to staying here forever.  If we move 15-20 minutes north, our home would have already tripled in value. If we move, the new house will at least have a shot at growing in value.

3) We would be moving to a much more expensive location. We would be retaining the home we live in now - at least at the beginning. We'd live here while the gritty construction happened and then either rent it out or sell it. So - the mortgage might be there... it might not. If we do this, I want to act as if we WILL have a mortgage while we are searching - that way if that's what happens, we are prepared & still decided it was worth it. If not - bonus! 😂 Whether there's a mortgage will depend solely upon how "fixer upper" we want to go, I suppose!

4) Barring any issues - DH will be working for years and years. I will also begin working somewhere in this mix. So - income *should* actually increase during these years. And we do have retirement (house payments for ten years have gone into it plus retirement accounts at work).

🤔 hmmm. I think I'm going to starting some lists and pro/con this thing to death with dh. Lol!

[Spryte]

With those clarifications, I’d definitely be considering it. 😊

Good luck with whichever adventure you choose!

[PrincessMommy]

yes!  Twice. 

We moved away from the house we raised our kids (19yrs there) because I was ready to get away.  Tired of caring for the swimming pool, and the 1.3 acres, and tired of the house (I never really liked it).   

We moved to a similar sized house that was much nicer and energy efficent.  Much smaller yard in an HOA neighborhood.  Loved the house, hated everything else and knew it was a mistake from the beginning.  It was worse than buyer's remorse.  We were there about 5 yrs.   I was so, so unhappy.  I think I cried every day for almost a year.  It was awful. 

We moved to our current, downsized house almost 3yrs ago.  The house is a little smaller than I wished (see other thread about house sizes) but I am so, so much more happier here.  I do like the house, it's just it needs some work ($$$), but I'm so happy in this neighborhood and I like my yard.  Yard's a little larger, but I'd take that to the postage stamp on a hill that we had before.   I've enjoyed making this home our own. 

We will probably move again in about 8-10yrs after dh retires just to get away from the taxes and HCL in our area.  

Edited September 22, 2020 by PrincessMommy

[sbgrace]

I'm pretty risk averse. In this current economic climate and because we are at an age close to yours, I wouldn't take on a mortgage.

[Splash1]

Yes, multiple times.  No regrets.  We even moved across country from Seattle to Florida when we were young.  We figured we  should try something new before having kids.  We lived there three years then moved back to Seattle area.  Then when we had first child moved again for two reasons, to be closer to grandparents and to get me out of the rain.  We moved to Colorado outside Denver area and lived there seven years but wanted to get out of neighborhood onto some property so move further from Denver to acreage where we built our current house. We've lived here fifteen years,{ kids are now 25, 23, 21, 19 and 14} and love it here, well most of the time.  Dreaming of the Oregon Coast lately, dh is dreaming of Florida Keys  so who knows what the future will bring,.

[Garga]

I live in a neighborhood like yours—stagnant house prices. It really scares me. The house we moved from that’s an hour from here has doubled in value since we moved.   The house we live in now has added only about $40k of value to it in the same 17 years.

If only we’d stayed where we were and then sold after the value grew, we’d have an amazing profit right now. 

I worry that as we get older and maybe want to move into an assisted living place that when we go to sell our house, we’ll be getting very little for it and end up being poor in our old age.

The only reason I would go through the hassle of moving, is if I could figure out what neighborhoods have a chance of the value of the homes increasing over time, and I’d buy whatever I could afford in that neighborhood.  At this point, we could never afford to move back into our old house, because we can no longer pay the doubled mortgage on it. Our current house is worth tens of thousands less than the old one, even though when we bought this house it had been worth more than the old one.  But the neighborhood is stagnant.

We’re now pretty much locked out of the old neighborhood, unless we come up with some impressive income from somewhere.  That scares me.

Edited September 21, 2020 by Garga

[easypeasy]

23 minutes ago, Garga said:

I live in a neighborhood like yours—stagnant house prices. It really scares me. The house we moved from that’s an hour from here has doubled in value since we moved.   The house we live in now has added only about $40k of value to it in the same 17 years.

If only we’d stayed where we were and then sold after the value grew, we’d have an amazing profit right now. 

I worry that as we get older and maybe want to move into an assisted living place that when we go to sell our house, we’ll be getting very little for it and end up being poor in our old age.

The only reason I would go through the hassle of moving, is if I could figure out what neighborhoods have a chance of the value of the homes increasing over time, and I’d buy whatever I could afford in that neighborhood.  At this point, we could never afford to move back into our old house, because we can no longer pay the doubled mortgage on it. Our current house is worth tens of thousands less than the old one, even though when we bought this house it had been worth more than the old one.  But the neighborhood is stagnant.

We’re now pretty much locked out of the old neighborhood, unless we come up with some impressive income from somewhere.  That scares me.

yes yes yes. Nodding in agreement. The stagnation of the house scares me too because It seems inevitable that it will eventually go in the opposite direction and be worth less as the area "goes downhill." Which is a shame, because I love this area - but the only new construction in the immediate vicinity are more and more and more apartments, which never helps home value. 😕

We'd be likely buying in an area that is currently being gentrified, lol. Lots of older homes that are being redone and flipped. We'd like to redo and stay. Or at least stay for a while. If we could sell for a large enough profit, I could probably make a habit out of that since the kids will be gone and we don't have grandkids on the horizon. It'll keep me busy! 😅
 

Or, after looking at fixer-uppers, I'll be overwhelmed and discouraged and we will just buy something that just needs fresh paint on the walls. lol!!

Edited September 21, 2020 by easypeasy

[Katy]

Until I saw your husband's profession I would have said choose a house that needs cosmetic updates, not an actual fixer.  But given that clarification, I'd absolutely go for it.  Heck, right now we're strongly considering an ugly midcentury ranch just because DS3 seems intent on accidentally killing himself and I can't keep eyes on him 24/7.

[easypeasy]

1 hour ago, Katy said:

Until I saw your husband's profession I would have said choose a house that needs cosmetic updates, not an actual fixer.  But given that clarification, I'd absolutely go for it.  Heck, right now we're strongly considering an ugly midcentury ranch just because DS3 seems intent on accidentally killing himself and I can't keep eyes on him 24/7.

This ranch was perfect while raising three... er... "highly active" children. lololol!! Even when they jumped off the roof, they had a high chance of not even breaking a bone! (That only happened once... *sigh*)

I think this is also part of my discontent. We're entering a different chapter in our lives and this house - while PERFECT for raising an active family - just doesn't quite fit the mold anymore. We're now thinking... no kids LIVING with us, but hopefully eventually there will be SIX kids VISITING us once the kids have found partners to settle down with. Eventually - grandkids. DH and I have hobbies we'd like space for (where we don't have to clean everything up so that the living room is presentable, yk?).

It's just sort of clunky getting to the point of acceptance that our family structure has officially changed enough that the house even "fits" wrong on top of the other small quibbles I have about living here.

Talking it out here, I really feel that it is time to make a big change. Because... if not now... when?

Another consideration is we'd like a small house in the back - or at least a MIL attachment somewhere. Then if a kid needs a soft place to land, we'll have that space available. Or, once a parent needs to be closer to us... there it'll be. Close but not underfoot. That's something that cannot happen in our existing house. DD22 is back home after college and there's no way she can even attempt to "adult" here, lol!

Yes - lists of priorities and pros/cons need to be made!!! 😄 

Edited September 21, 2020 by easypeasy

[KungFuPanda]

I would only move to a fixer upper if it meant no mortgage. If I took on a mortgage, I wouldn’t want the expense of big home renovations. Maybe you should flip a house. 🤣

[PrincessMommy]

On 9/21/2020 at 8:25 AM, Indigo Blue said:

If I moved out of the house my children grew up in I would eventually grow painfully nostalgic (because I know myself) and wistful for those days of living there. This may not be a “good” thing, but it is true. This may not be true for you at all. Practically speaking, I wouldn’t do it if it meant going into debt. 

I am sometimes nostalgic for the house we raised our kids in.  I didn't even like the house very much but it did have a lot of happy memories.  I'm still glad I'm where I am at, but I agree that it does happen. 

[SanDiegoMom]

I would do it in a heartbeat.  We just bought what we assumed would be our forever home, but we are already talking about moving a little farther out when the kids are all out of high school or college and getting more land.  However we are also very much suburban people and I love having two choices for Target close by and coffee shops galore, so we'll see. BUT we have a very safe retirement that allows us a cushion to make mistakes. 

[easypeasy]

12 minutes ago, SanDiegoMom said:

I would do it in a heartbeat.  We just bought what we assumed would be our forever home, but we are already talking about moving a little farther out when the kids are all out of high school or college and getting more land.  However we are also very much suburban people and I love having two choices for Target close by and coffee shops galore, so we'll see. BUT we have a very safe retirement that allows us a cushion to make mistakes. 

Having a minimum of two Targets within easy driving distance is pretty much my barometer of measuring where I will, and where I will never, live. 😂 I even search Targets when looking at Air BnBs! 😂 No Target? No vacation!