Talk to me about belly fat hiding undergarments

[Momto6inIN]

Yeah, yeah, I know, diet and exercise. I'm working on it. But I'm 46 with a thyroid condition and it's slow going, so until that great and glorious day, I would like to not look like a garden gnome around my middle.

Part of the problem is just my body type. I am extremely short waisted - as in, I have less than 1 inch between my bottom rib and my hip bone. So there is literally nowhere for the extra weight to go except in a big man-beer-belly. And when I'm pregnant, there is literally nowhere for the baby to go but out so I get huge and after 6 pregnancies those muscles are d.o.n.e. My legs and arms and butt are not slender and toned, but they are not a problem area either. I can work with those parts. It's my tummy.

Most of the time I am all about comfort and could care very little about fashion. But every once in a while I'd like to dress up and not look 5 months pregnant. So what are my options?

I want all the info - what do I search for? What are things to look for as far as quality goes? Can these types of garments be comfortable or is that a unicorn?

Facebook's algorithms are scarily accurate because they keep showing me these ads with videos of women schlurping up their fat inside these black shaping things and then looking smooth in a dress and I can't stop obsessively watching them, but do they really work?

Edited September 20, 2020 by Momto6inIN
Spelling

[Ailaena]

They make you less lumpy, but they don’t make you skinny unless you’re already skinny with some small problem spots.

For belly issues, consider one with an open bust because, regardless of the claims, unless you have a corset, they will roll down.  Even the ones with boning.   Like this, but idk about brands https://www.nordstrom.com/s/spanx-oncore-mid-thigh-shaper-bodysuit/4856220

Edited September 20, 2020 by Ailaena

[MercyA]

Spanx Power Shorts do the trick for me. Generally speaking I dislike tight clothing, but they're comfortable enough that they don't bother me for several hours. They are soft. I probably wouldn't want to wear them all day. They really do flatten my tummy and make everything else smoother too.

That said, they do roll down a little bit. I have a very long torso, so this might not be as much of an issue for you. 

Check the sizing charts well.

Take them on and off with care. They last a long time, but I accidentally put a thumb through one pair of mine the first or second time I wore them and I've been wearing them with a little hole ever since because I'm too cheap to buy another pair. 🙂 

ETA: Spanx makes lots of different styles of body shaping garments. I tried these first because they were one of the least expensive options. 

Edited September 20, 2020 by MercyA

[MercyA]

1 hour ago, Momto6inIN said:

Facebook's algorithms are scarily accurate because they keep showing me these ads with videos of women schlurping up their fat inside these black shaping things and then looking smooth in a dress and I can't stop obsessively watching them, but do they really work?

Ha! I know the ads of which you speak. 😉 

[Katy]

There's really no such thing.  If it really squeezes you, the fat just squeezes somewhere you don't want it.  Nothing prettier than a woman with a small waist but a 4" roll of fat squeezing out above her corset where you expect a bra line.  Plus really squeezing with corsets & waist trainers makes you MUCH more likely to have a uterine prolapse.  I'm aware many women claim that's a myth made up by men claiming women were too stupid to vote, but as a nurse from a GYN floor who worked in rotating nursing homes in college, I've literally seen it dozens of times in elderly women.  I've only cared for one woman with a prolapse who didn't have an extensive history of waist shaping.

Spanx will smooth you out, but it always reminds me of a stuffed sausage - there might be less lumps than in the loose meat, but it's still more obviously round.  If pantyhose are too uncomfortable, maybe just consider an extra layer beneath, like a slip.  That will smooth you but be comfortable.

[fairfarmhand]

I don’t have anything constructive to say, except commiseration  that 40s seem to be rough on my vanity too. I don’t have the tummy issue too badly but my hormones are wonky and my hair is thinning. 
 

thankfully, there are a few perks. I feel that I have greater confidence in some areas and some wisdom but yes, definitely hard on the vanity. 

Edited September 20, 2020 by fairfarmhand

[Carol in Cal.]

I’ve tried on Spanx and never bought them.  I consider them to be instruments of torture.

Also, I have GERD, and tightness in abdominal clothing can exacerbate it a lot.

Ruby Ribbon is a little better, but I don’t like the straps digging into my shoulders.  I normally wear strapless bras to avoid that, and so it’s rough on me.  YMMV.  The nice thing about RR is that it spreads the firming element more naturally through your whole torso.  Bottom line for me, though, is that I own some but don’t wear it. 

Better, IMO, to buy clothes that camo it better.  I’ve learned to do this over the years and it’s awesome.

1.  Vikki Vi plus sized classic jersey shell dresses in black or navy.  They skim, they don’t hug, they are heavy enough to skim the lumps and bumps (especially in those dark colors, not so much in, say, turquoise) but light enough not to be very hot to wear.  They are washable.  They don’t wrinkle.  They dress up or down or professionally, depending on what jackets, scarves, shoes/sandals, or jewelry you put with them.  They are ridiculously great.  And they last a long time.

2.  Underwire strapless bras from Soma—because if your boob stick out further than your stomach, your stomach looks more proportional even if large.

3.  Skinny plus sized jeans.  My lower legs are very thin compared to the rest of me.  So if I wear skinny jeans with a skimming tunic type top over them that goes down to my hips or a little further, I look like I’m wearing big over small instead of like I have a really big stomach.  Ditto slightly compressive high waisted black leggings.  Ditto plus sized black or jeans material pencil skirts.

4.  Reiterating—skimming, wide, long, slightly shaped (illusion of waist type shaping) tops.  Not clingy, not too short, not baggy although slightly boxy is great, not too drapey/slinky, in colors or patterns that make your face look radiant.  

 

 

[Jentrovert]

I like Spanx, BUT use a size bigger than would be usual. That way, I get smoothing benefits, without all the aforementioned problems. Everything looks better when lightly smoothed, but not squished.

That said, I only use it on rare occasions, especially in summer when it just adds to the heat.

I don't buy cheap, flimsy materials with zero structure anymore. It doesn't have to stand up by itself or anything, but it makes such a difference to be heavy enough to skim *over* wrinkles and rolls instead of getting folded into them. 

Sadly, I no longer find much at inexpensive price points. I have done much better having fewer items of better quality. That's ok with me, though, because I'm not really "into" clothes anyway.

[BusyMom5]

I am also a mom of 6, including twins, and I have a huge diastis recti down my stomach.   I have not used the expensive brands, but Target has some that are reasonable priced, and maybe Kohls as well.  I have tried various kinds, and they do not shape you, its more like a sausage casing- it keeps it tighter, but slightly rounded, lol!  

High waisted undies- roll down, would not recommend 

Tummy only- this can work sometimes,  but can also roll down or ride up!

Cami- these are great for everyday if you prefer a cami or tank under your clothes.  They do tend to mash the ladies as well, so minimize your bust.  Depending on the look you are going for,  you may not like the look.  If you are running and don't want jostled around, highly recommend!  Remember that they will not flatten your tummy, only hold it in.

Tank top with the bust cut out- if you are looking for the best silhouette,  this would be my recommendation.   Its just like the cami above, but the bust is cut out so you can still wear a good bra and the girls won't get minimized or smashed.   My only complaint is that sometimes it digs into my underarm area.  

Hope this helps.

[Momto6inIN]

Thank you everybody! Please keep the replies coming!

I know these options won't make me skinny. I'm not that delusional 😂 And I definitely don't plan to wear them often. I just want to not look quite as fat and lumpy every once in a while on special occassions. Especially in the expensive family photos session I have scheduled for the beginning of October.

[Momto6inIN]

So .... I ordered this in nude. If I like it, I might get a black one. I knew I couldn't do the high waisted kind because it would just roll down without the straps

https://www.spanx.com/shapewear/thinstincts-2-0-open-bust-mid-thigh-bodysuit

Speaking of things that roll down, does anyone have good underwear they like that hit under the belly? I found some maternity ones from Kindred Bravely that I liked at first, but they are kinda stretchy and bunch down over my butt by the end of the day. sigh. Why does clothing myself have to be so hard???

[Carol in Cal.]

1 hour ago, OKBud said:

 

When I grew up, all the adults- save, perhaps, the naturally very toned- wore these things with their pretty dresses.... it wasn't about looking thinner, really, just looking as nice as possible in your pretty clothes like how some dresses necessitate a slip. 

See, my grandmother wore a girdle, but my mother did not.  They were both pretty slim, but my mom was downright statuesque and very thin.  Honestly, it never really occurred to me until the last few years when the fashion ads started to call 'shapewear' a necessity.  At that point, I tried some on, started to pay attention to how much my panty lines and panty hose lines were showing in some clothes, and decided to work on those things showing but not get too wound up in shapewear.  

[kiwik]

1 hour ago, Momto6inIN said:

So .... I ordered this in nude. If I like it, I might get a black one. I knew I couldn't do the high waisted kind because it would just roll down without the straps

https://www.spanx.com/shapewear/thinstincts-2-0-open-bust-mid-thigh-bodysuit

Speaking of things that roll down, does anyone have good underwear they like that hit under the belly? I found some maternity ones from Kindred Bravely that I liked at first, but they are kinda stretchy and bunch down over my butt by the end of the day. sigh. Why does clothing myself have to be so hard???

Don't drink to much when out as it looks like a nightmare to go to the toilet in.

[MercyA]

4 hours ago, Carol in Cal. said:

3.  Skinny plus sized jeans.  My lower legs are very thin compared to the rest of me.  So if I wear skinny jeans with a skimming tunic type top over them that goes down to my hips or a little further, I look like I’m wearing big over small instead of like I have a really big stomach.  Ditto slightly compressive high waisted black leggings.  Ditto plus sized black or jeans material pencil skirts.

4.  Reiterating—skimming, wide, long, slightly shaped (illusion of waist type shaping) tops.  Not clingy, not too short, not baggy although slightly boxy is great, not too drapey/slinky, in colors or patterns that make your face look radiant.  

YES. QFT. 🙂 

[MercyA]

3 hours ago, Jentrovert said:

I don't buy cheap, flimsy materials with zero structure anymore. It doesn't have to stand up by itself or anything, but it makes such a difference to be heavy enough to skim *over* wrinkles and rolls instead of getting folded into them. 

Another amen to this. Any favorite brands?

[Momto6inIN]

40 minutes ago, kiwik said:

Don't drink to much when out as it looks like a nightmare to go to the toilet in.

It has an "easy access gussett for when nature calls" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

So yeah ... no water on photo day

[Jentrovert]

1 hour ago, Momto6inIN said:

It has an "easy access gussett for when nature calls" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

So yeah ... no water on photo day

The first time I wore one like that, I was like . . . What in the world??? Lol It's actually easier than it seems, once you get used to it. I much prefer the kind that actually unsnap, but I'm not sure that Spanx brand has those; I haven't had one in a long time.

[Jentrovert]

2 hours ago, MercyA said:

Another amen to this. Any favorite brands?

Most of my currents have come from Stitch Fix, and they are brands that I never see anywhere else to duplicate. I have some Lands End staples that are good, though. Most things I have gotten from there (especially swimsuits) have been great.

Least favorites are anything from a big box store. Somehow that all seems to feel and look great for about 3 washings and then stretches in weird ways (even dried flat). 

[Jentrovert]

4 hours ago, Momto6inIN said:

So .... I ordered this in nude. If I like it, I might get a black one. I knew I couldn't do the high waisted kind because it would just roll down without the straps

https://www.spanx.com/shapewear/thinstincts-2-0-open-bust-mid-thigh-bodysuit

Speaking of things that roll down, does anyone have good underwear they like that hit under the belly? I found some maternity ones from Kindred Bravely that I liked at first, but they are kinda stretchy and bunch down over my butt by the end of the day. sigh. Why does clothing myself have to be so hard???

I have that same style, except not open bust. Mine is pretty comfortable.

I've recently fallen in love with underwear from Soma. I don't like them under my belly, it drives me crazy, so mine are granny-style, but they have all styles. And the ones I have, have silicone to keep the bottom in place. They don't seem to roll down from the top either. Anyway, you might look there. Wait for sales.

[MercyA]

11 minutes ago, Jentrovert said:

Least favorites are anything from a big box store. Somehow that all seems to feel and look great for about 3 washings and then stretches in weird ways (even dried flat). 

I stopped buying stuff from Kohl's for this reason. Even washed in cold and line dried, garments became wonky quickly.

[ktgrok]

4 hours ago, OKBud said:

 

When I grew up, all the adults- save, perhaps, the naturally very toned- wore these things with their pretty dresses.... it wasn't about looking thinner, really, just looking as nice as possible in your pretty clothes like how some dresses necessitate a slip. Evidently not so in her part of the country.

Reminds me of this scene in Steel Magnolias (had to find two memes to get all of it)

[kbutton]

For casual stuff, like a loose dress, sometimes I just get thin exercise shorts with a wide elastic band. Lane Bryant re-did their yoga capris to have really wide elastic, and it's so, so nice! 

Otherwise, just agreeing in general with the thread--gentle control vs. squishing, things roll up, etc. Good luck! 

[Guest]

11 hours ago, Momto6inIN said:

Yeah, yeah, I know, diet and exercise. I'm working on it. But I'm 46 with a thyroid condition and it's slow going, so until that great and glorious day, I would like to not look like a garden gnome around my middle.

Part of the problem is just my body type. I am extremely short waisted - as in, I have less than 1 inch between my bottom rib and my hip bone. So there is literally nowhere for the extra weight to go except in a big man-beer-belly. And when I'm pregnant, there is literally nowhere for the baby to go but out so I get huge and after 6 pregnancies those muscles are d.o.n.e. My legs and arms and butt are not slender and toned, but they are not a problem area either. I can work with those parts. It's my tummy.

Most of the time I am all about comfort and could care very little about fashion. But every once in a while I'd like to dress up and not look 5 months pregnant. So what are my options?

I want all the info - what do I search for? What are things to look for as far as quality goes? Can these types of garments be comfortable or is that a unicorn?

Facebook's algorithms are scarily accurate because they keep showing me these ads with videos of women schlurping up their fat inside these black shaping things and then looking smooth in a dress and I can't stop obsessively watching them, but do they really work?

They do really work like the FB ad for Shapermint. I watched it repeatedly just because it was so fascinating to see that tummy smooth out. Personally, I like the Shapermint one, but I have a different one with legs that I prefer. The Shapermint one works well but it does feel like a straightjacket. IME, so do Spanx. The one I prefer is more generic and I think I got it at Kohls. This one is not as powerful but it is considerably more confortable. 

This is strictly my opinion but Spanx and Shapermint are too restrictive to be worth it, except maybe if I was having professional photos done or something like that. But I wore the Shapermint one to a college graduation under a dress and I knew how a newspaper must feel when it’s bound for delivery. 

[Katy]

23 hours ago, Momto6inIN said:

So .... I ordered this in nude. If I like it, I might get a black one. I knew I couldn't do the high waisted kind because it would just roll down without the straps

https://www.spanx.com/shapewear/thinstincts-2-0-open-bust-mid-thigh-bodysuit

Speaking of things that roll down, does anyone have good underwear they like that hit under the belly? I found some maternity ones from Kindred Bravely that I liked at first, but they are kinda stretchy and bunch down over my butt by the end of the day. sigh. Why does clothing myself have to be so hard???

 

I've shared these before.  I found them at Sam's Club in my last pregnancy and they've been my favorite ever since.  When they're in stock there it's about half the Amazon price.  I like them so much I've been throwing out every other kind.  https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07G4757K1/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&th=1&psc=1 

[Lawyer&Mom]

I wore a corset for my wedding.  Way more comfortable than Spanx.  Elastic based shapewear constantly squeezes tighter and tighter. A corset just stays the same tightness.  And just because some people use corsets for waist training, you don’t have to.  It can just smooth and support.  I still break it out for special occasions. 

[easypeasy]

Oh, dear. I tried one of these (it was a slip-style Spanx) once with a dress, just to make everything "smoother" because the dress fabric was so fluid. DH noticed when he put his arm around my waist and was completely freaked out by it. 😅 That made me so self conscious I've never tried another one! LOLOL And it WAS so hot. 😅 Not good for a pre-menopausal woman! 💥

But - that dress?? It looked gooooood that day. 😁

On 9/20/2020 at 11:06 AM, fairfarmhand said:

I don’t have anything constructive to say, except commiseration  that 40s seem to be rough on my vanity too. I don’t have the tummy issue too badly but my hormones are wonky and my hair is thinning. 
 

thankfully, there are a few perks. I feel that I have greater confidence in some areas and some wisdom but yes, definitely hard on the vanity. 

So true, so true. It was so easy to be "low maintenance" when I was younger. I'm sad I had so many pregnant/breastfeeding/exhausted years during my 20s/30s because I didn't get to enjoy the low maintenance phase nearly long enough!

[Momto6inIN]

4 hours ago, Lawyer&Mom said:

I wore a corset for my wedding.  Way more comfortable than Spanx.  Elastic based shapewear constantly squeezes tighter and tighter. A corset just stays the same tightness.  And just because some people use corsets for waist training, you don’t have to.  It can just smooth and support.  I still break it out for special occasions. 

Where does one but a corset? Do they still have strings and whalebone and you have to have someone tighten/tie them for you a la Scarlett O'Hara? I'm intrigued. 

[Lawyer&Mom]

I was living in SF at the time, so I went to my local corset shop: www.darkgarden.com

They serve a real mix of clientele. Burlesque dancers, historical re-enactors, cos-play or just regular brides.

The corset itself has hooks and eyes in the front and laces in the back.  No whale bones, just metal stays.  I never got very good at lacing myself, but I’m sure it would get easier with practice.   

[Amy in NH]

19 hours ago, Momto6inIN said:

Where does one but a corset? Do they still have strings and whalebone and you have to have someone tighten/tie them for you a la Scarlett O'Hara? I'm intrigued. 

Amazon has tons. 

And other places online as well...

[Carol in Cal.]

On 9/21/2020 at 1:34 PM, Lawyer&Mom said:

I wore a corset for my wedding.  Way more comfortable than Spanx.  Elastic based shapewear constantly squeezes tighter and tighter. A corset just stays the same tightness.  And just because some people use corsets for waist training, you don’t have to.  It can just smooth and support.  I still break it out for special occasions. 

I bought a long corset/braish thing for my wedding, with matching garter belt.  It was gorgeous, but not smooth enough not to show bumpily through the satin of the dress, so I reverted to a boring but plain-textured bra that I already had.  I was kind of disappointed to have to do that, but luckily I figured this out at the first fitting.