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S/I Friends....are you still friends with your highschool friends?


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Facebook friends. And I enjoy the peek into their lives--some still live in my hometown in another state, so I like the updates from home. If it wasn't for facebook, there are only two that I still trade Christmas cards with. None are what I would call a close friend--we don't visit each other in person.

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I am, but only on facebook.  Most of my friends are still in FL and I moved to Ohio for college and have been every since.  I have met with high school friends either when I have been back to FL or traveling where they have moved.  I've been invited to stay with many of them as well.  So, still close, but keep in touch on FB.  Before FB, we sent cards - at least during the holidays - and letters.  Graduated HS 35 years ago.

 

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1 minute ago, Ali in OR said:

Facebook friends. And I enjoy the peek into their lives--some still live in my hometown in another state, so I like the updates from home. 

 

Yes, I love being connected on FB to see them and their families!  🙂

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Yes. I have a core group--me and three other ladies--who were friends in high school, went to the same college, and have maintained our friendship for close to forty years now. We email each other all the time, and in the Before Times would meet for a long, leisurely Saturday lunch at least every couple of months. But those three are the only ones from high school that I have regular contact with.

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10 minutes ago, Ottakee said:

As a spin off from the thread on a teen with few friends, are you still friends with your friends from high school?

 

With my best friend since age 11, yes.  But we have more in common than just high school.  I have a few on FB as friends.....but I wouldn’t call them real friends.  

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Ish.  

I don’t do Facebook, and that’s pretty much the only way anyone in my HS friend group seems to communicate anymore.  Combine that with the fact that I have moved away from the rest of them AND the amount of time my family relationships require (my family is close so that’s not a bad thing) and I don’t have a lot of time for friends much anyway.  

However if any called me up we could probably mostly pick up where we left off   I had been calling/texting regularly many years ago but when I realized that they were only going to initiate communication on Facebook, I quit trying so hard.   

 

Interestingly, DH is Facebook friends with all of them so I do still get some updates.  

Edited by happysmileylady
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I have several FB friends from highschool.  I enjoy keeping up with them but we don't  really get together at all, etc.

Then there is one friend I went to high school with that was marginally a casual friend in high school.  We ran in different circles but were always friendly to each other.  We have become closer, mostly through FB but some in person.  She is a foster/adoptive mom too, has a child with special needs, and had an inlaw die of pancreatic cancer about the time my MIL did.  I wish we could get together more but I work full time and live about 30 minutes away and she has 11 kids.  FB it is most of the time.

I do though still have 2 good friends from my high school years.  We all went to different high schools, but attended the same church.  Even though we are only 10 months apart in age from oldest to youngest we were in 3 different grades as one started K at 4, one on time and one at 6.  I still see the almost weekly for a walk on Sunday afternoons.  

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No. I only had a few friends in high school. We mostly scattered after high school and social media wasn't a thing in 1974, so we lost touch pretty quickly.

I did go back to the 10-year reunion, after reading somewhere that high school outsiders should skip the 5-year, but go to the 10-year as people will have changed and old groups and cliques will no longer stick together. Nope, didn't happen that way. I was stuck with my old group, and quickly scandalized them by getting some wine for the table. I spoke a bit with a few other people, but it was all very much the same as high school so... I escaped pretty early and rarely gave high school another thought. 

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No, I have a couple of an Facebook, but the last time I saw anyone from high school was about the time I got married. I do think it is important to add that my family did move more than once when I was a kid, and I wonder if that has an impact.
My husband lived in the same house from the time he was 3-4 until we got married, and he has casual friends that he has since kindergarten. The person who I would consider my “best” friend is actually someone he went to school with starting in middle school. I did t meet her until I was married. Then she happened to live right around the corner from the house we bought. On the otherhand, my DH is extremely social and makes friends everywhere he goes and even places he has never been. he has online friends it seems like everywhere. I am an extreme introvert and don’t invest enough time and energy into making friends.

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Of my two BF from high school, one died from breast cancer in her early 40s.  My other BF and I text quite often, but see each other rarely.  Four of my good friends had parents who moved out of town right before or right after senior year in high school, so when I went "home" there were no friends to visit.  One person from my high school took the same career path as I, so now we work on some projects together, although we are in different parts of the world; he is an extrovert and keeps up with everyone, so he keeps me updated on a lot of people.  

I grew up in the path of Hurricane Laura--so there is much more catching up right now than usual.  

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No, except FB (when I was on FB; I’m paused from it now), and there are a few I have gotten together with IRL as an outgrowth of FB. One formed a little “CHS Grads” fun group last year, with the intention of doing stuff together every couple months, but we did something around Christmas time and then covid interruptus happened. So who knows when that will come back into play, if ever. 

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No.

Well, I did recently reconnect with my high school BFF and we still get along great. We always had a special connection and I’m thrilled to have him back in my life (if on the other side of the country). 
 

I left my hometown right after high school and never looked back. Other than here I don’t do social media and because I use a different name I can’t easily be found. 😊

Edited by MEmama
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57 minutes ago, klmama said:

No. We are glad to see each other when our paths cross, but we don't intentionally stay in contact.

Me too.  I've since moved to another part of the country so not many chances to run into each other.

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I attended five different schools between ninth and twelfth grades. That said, I'm still in touch with two friends from twelfth grade. With one, I exchange news at Christmas time. The other I correspond with two (sometimes more) times a year.

Regards,

Kareni

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Yes, they're still my closest friends.  Four in particular, but occasionally when I have a chance to see others in the broader friend circle, it's always like seeing long-lost family.  We all knew each other since kindergarten and really grew up together.  We went through a lot together and definitely know all the good and all the bad about each other.  🙂  I'm the one who moved away, so I lived overseas and then across the country and I'm still not anywhere close to any of them location-wise.  (None of them are in the same city anymore, but are spread out across the same coast.)  But we get together at least once/year (generally separately, not all of us together), although of course all of that was cancelled this year with Covid.

My situation is probably unusual, but they've all become such thoughtful, kind, well-balanced middle-aged adults.   I feel really lucky.  

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Not really. I have one friend from high school whom I follow on instagram, and we occasionally chat. But literally all the people I was friends with in HS, including me, left town and went FAR for college (some internationally) and as far as I know no one who left returned. When I go back to my hometown I sometimes run into people I had classes with and sometimes we remember each other's names.

College is different though! My freshman year they were experimenting with residential programming where students chose where they wanted to live based on common interest. A music dorm, politics dorm, etc. I've got a solid group of 6-8 people from that year and we have a running facebook chat. Rarely go a week without talking 🙂 

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Yes! I am still very good friends with about 4 or 5 people that were among my closest friends in high school. A couple of years ago, some of us went to watch the eclipse together with our kids. We meet up when we can. Two of them live close together, work in the same hospital, and their oldest sons are the same age are are really good friends. One of them lives here now so I get to see him more often now. Others live further afield. I like that I'm pretty connected with them. 

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No, not at all.

Also not actually on Fcebook.

I mean I guess I dated my XH while I was still in high school and I occasionally speak to him re our grown children... but I wouldn't say we are "friends". But he's not what I think of when I think of high school friends. 

Edited by theelfqueen
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No. I would be happy to be FB friends with them, to stay more connected, but I'm not on FB, and I've lost track of them. Aspects of my high school friendships were unhappy for me, and I was closer with my college friends. But I haven't stayed close with them, either. I sometimes hear from my best friend from college, and it's fun to catch up with her every few years.

My dad, though, has remained friends with his childhood pals and still sees the ones who remained in town. He has been best friends with the same two men for over 80 years. Unfortunately, one of them just died, which Dad took very hard.

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Lots and lots on FB.  Three on my Christmas card list.  Two I actually see periodically.  One I chat with on the phone occasionally, but we grew closer when we lived in the same city after college.  My high school friends are much less important than I would have expected at the time.

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I had only one friend in high school (I was super nerdy and introverted).  She became my best friend and we are still friends.  We live an hour away from each other and have busy lives, but we make a point to meet in the middle at a restaurant every 4 months or so and visit.  We don’t get to hang out very often, but I feel like she’s one of the very few people in the world who totally gets me at my core, and I get her.  We were at that age where we were so influenced by each other that we basically molded each other into who we are today.  There’s no one else on this planet, except my mother, who has influenced me at my core more than Jo-Ann.

 

I often wonder if my son will stay friends with the kids he’s been friends with.  There’s a pretty good possibly he will with a few of them, but that could be because he’s been friends with his group for a full 17 years.  When I was a young mother, there were a bunch of other young mothers in my church who all had one-year-old boys.  We got together every other week and so those ties run 17 years strong.

However, the boys are all taking different paths now (Community college at home/Going away to college/Straight to work)and they’re all still in a crucial developmental stage, and I do wonder how it will play out.  Will it be that they get together once in a blue moon and when they do, they immediately feel comfortable with each other?  Or will it be awkward and they won’t have a thing to say to each other?  Hard to tell.

Edited by Garga
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Yes, my best friends, but one reason is that they still all live fairly close to my hometown, so I'm back fairly often. My best friend from high school is my daughter's godmother.  My college friends are more distant geographically, so they're more in the Facebook friends category. 

 

My daughter has worried about losing her friends when she goes to college next fall.

Edited by dmmetler
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51 minutes ago, Garga said:

I had only one friend in high school (I was super nerdy and introverted).  She became my best friend and we are still friends.  We live an hour away from each other and have busy lives, but we make a point to meet in the middle at a restaurant every 4 months or so and visit.  We don’t get to hang out very often, but I feel like she’s one of the very few people in the world who totally gets me at my core, and I get her.  We were at that age where we were so influenced by each other that we basically molded each other into who we are today.  There’s no one else on this planet, except my mother, who has influenced me at my core more than Jo-Ann.

 

I often wonder if my son will stay friends with the kids he’s been friends with.  There’s a pretty good possibly he will with a few of them, but that could be because he’s been friends with his group for a full 17 years.  When I was a young mother, there were a bunch of other young mothers in my church who all had one-year-old boys.  We got together every other week and so those ties run 17 years strong.

However, the boys are all taking different paths now (Community college at home/Going away to college/Straight to work)and they’re all still in a crucial developmental stage, and I do wonder how it will play out.  Will it be that they get together once in a blue moon and when they do, the immediately feel comfortable with each other?  Or will it be awkward and they won’t have a thing to say to each other?  Hard to tell.

My DS has one lifelong friend, even though we moved away when DS was 5. They typically see each other once a year and occasionally game together or text, and that’s been plenty so far to keep the connection alive. When they do get to see each other, it’s as easy as if they had hung out the day before. It’s amazing to me, honestly. And I very much hope the friendship—as casual as it is—will remain throughout their college years and beyond. Of course it’s unlikely, but it would be neat. 

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I'm not.

dh  . . . . is still friends with kids he grew up with since he was eight.  They may go a few years between seeing/talking to each other - but when they do it's like they only saw each other last month.  Coincidently  - one of them is first cousins with dsil's father.

2dd . . . is still friends with her bff since they were 12.  (20+ years) they went to college on opposite coasts, they went to grad school on opposite coasts . .  now, they live four hours apart in the same state.  The closest they've been since graduating high school.

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I'm in touch with one friend from high school, but y'know that's kind of helpful when you have seven kids and a mortgage together. Otherwise, nope, not at all. I was only sort of close with a handful of high school friends, but my high school social experience overall wasn't great, and when I moved on to college, I never really looked back. I did go to the same university as one of my handful of high school friends, and we hung out a few times at the beginning, but we had very different academic and social circles so it didn't last. 

 

I'm FB friends with one college friend, plus my husband counts as a college friend too. He is still good friends with one college friend. 

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No. My friends from that time period weren't from school; I wasn't close with anyone in school. I used to be fb friends with a couple people, but I'm not on fb anymore. I occasionally see someone in the grocery store or something, and exchange greetings, maybe chat a minute. We're friendly (and some are quite nice people) but they are more acquaintances I was trapped with for a few years, not close friends.

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Growing up, from the time I was 4, there were 4 of us girls the same age living on the same street. We were very close, more like sisters. We drifted apart after we each married.  A couple of years ago I reached out to one of the girls on Facebook and we got together and had a wonderful time.  Last year, I attended one of the other girl's surprise 60th birthday party.  Three of us got together for dinner shortly after that and it was like old times.  We planned on doing more things together when Covid hit.  I felt like I was finally moving forward with my grief from my dh passing away in 2016.  Its been extremely hard for me.  

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5 hours ago, BarbecueMom said:

Just the one I sleep next to every night.

Awww. I married one of my friends from highschool too. 

And yes, my best friend from year 9 is still my best friend. 

That's all though.

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