Intense irritability and (maybe) perimenopause

[Tree Frog]

When my dh was deployed, I found myself ramping up over every little thing the kids did wrong. I found myself flying off the handle with every very minor irritation. Someone here recommended evening primrose oil, so I started taking it. It took the edginess off and I became a normal human being again. This was 8 years ago and I've continued taking it. I've been told it's supposed to be good for breast health, but Quill, double check that it's ok for you given your cancer. 

[LBK]

On 9/1/2020 at 12:03 PM, Homeschool Mom in AZ said:

Yeah, my husband sometimes just says out loud, " I'm in a foul mood right now and I'm not fit for company, so I'm going to be alone for a while." 

I hope you do appreciate that like crazy. Seriously though, I wonder why is it not Humanity 101 to learn how to politely, calmly, and directly set boundaries--for our own good as well as for those closest to us? It seems like an inexplicably rare skill. 😕

Not close to menopause here but I have gone through periods of intense irritability I did not recognize as anxiety/depression till later... OP has to decide what she's willing to try in terms of medication or lifestyle changes, whatever the cause, but I think with respect to others in the house, it's more than enough to try to mitigate the effects on them exactly how OP described she's already doing---albeit maybe more directly, and *before* the irritability is triggered.

[KungFuPanda]

On 9/2/2020 at 6:35 AM, Quill said:

Re: your first sentence: you said “in general,” so maybe you aren’t specifically speaking to my issues, but for clarity, in my case it is just not that simple. If the only issue I had was annoyance with twenty minutes or so of guitar playing, then yeah, I would agree; I’ll just do headphones or he could play in his garage. But this post is about intense irritability for a reason. A few other posters have nailed it. I could bite someone’s head off for asking, “what are you doing” when I am most obviously sorting laundry. It’s swearing at the printer because it ran out of ink while I was printing a lease. It’s being mad that it’s raining. It’s being mad at the Home Depot guy because he said my paint would be ready in five minutes, but it’s been 12. 

I do agree with the sentiment that losing estrogen impacts the “nurture and please everyone” aspect. Michelle Duggar has left the building. 

 

No, I really meant “in general.” There are women who would talk to their doctor about medication to fix THEM before they’d have a conversation with their families about their own needs. 
 

I’m definitely not at the Intense Irritability stage yet. I don’t know if my mild-but-persistent state of annoyance is a slow leak with the hormones, or incessant pandemic togetherness, or the loss of 8 hours of exercise per week, or if just after 20 years of intensive mothering I’m over it and need a new job. I think I’ve been patient this far, but the urge to climb the walls is building. 
 

if I were walking around in the state you described I’d be seeking medical intervention too. That can’t be great for your mental or physical health. The dispensary route is not a bad idea if you’re trying to avoid side effects. I’d definitely bring it up on your next appointment. 

[Carol in Cal.]

On 9/2/2020 at 3:28 PM, wilrunner said:

When my dh was deployed, I found myself ramping up over every little thing the kids did wrong. I found myself flying off the handle with every very minor irritation. Someone here recommended evening primrose oil, so I started taking it. It took the edginess off and I became a normal human being again. This was 8 years ago and I've continued taking it. I've been told it's supposed to be good for breast health, but Quill, double check that it's ok for you given your cancer. 

Same active ingredient as borage oil.  Serious, Quill, look into it but try it.

How mad I was.  

Like, I’d be at the grocery store and someone would be taking too long to select their ice cream and I would want to scream.  I mean, just ridiculous stuff like that.

[Kebo]

Are you taking any antihistamines?  Claritin made me feel like that when I took it regularly, and a different antihistamine had a similar effect on a friend's daughter.   The problems resolved as soon as the antihistamines were discontinued.