Weird down feeling

[Scarlett]

I dreamed weird dreams last night.  My xh was there....as well as his affair partner that I divorced him over.  They broke up 2 years after our divorce. This fall I will be happily Re  married for 10 years.   So I can’t figure out why I dreamed such a distressing dream.  But it brought up a whole bunch of negative feelings that I had to fight all day.  
 

The only thing I can figure is that today is my best friends Anniversary and I mailed her a gift.  She and I have been friends since we were 11....through both our first marriages, divorces and remarriage.  As well as recently similar trouble with our sons who are close in age.  Maybe thinking about her wedding.,,where I was pregnant with ds20  brought on the dream.  I don’t know.  I just need a reset button. 

[Scarlett]

16 minutes ago, Bagels McGruffikin said:

I’ve had a few of those lately, about relationships, or my children. They definitely leave a residual funk after the dream is gone, where I’m awake but it still felt disturbing and real.

For me, stress and anniversaries are total triggers. 

And I am one if those people who can’t forget a date. It is ridiculous. If I ever have a weird dream or feel off I just look at the calendar. 
 

35 years ago an ex boyfriend of mine was murdered. One year I had a horrific dream about him on the anniversary of his death! I swear I wasn’t even thinking about it!  How dues our mind do that? 

[Scarlett]

4 minutes ago, Seasider too said:

Scarlet, iirc there was a thread yesterday where you talked about your xh’s cardiomyopathy. Perhaps that triggered your dream. 

Nope . Nothing like that with my Xh. 

[Rosie_0801]

Have some chocolate. The serotonin boost should help.

[Scarlett]

No chocolate available. Will wine work?

[Katy]

It may have nothing to do with any of those people or events, it may be your brain's way of figuring out if forgetting some of the memories about them is okay now or not.  Generally when your brain is trying to decide which memories to trim it will bring them up 3 times.  I don't remember what book I read that in, I read a ton of stuff about neuroscience when I was having disabling headaches because many of the drugs were first made to fight something else and found to effect headaches. Not that you'd ever really forget what happened, but you might forget details or the depth of emotion or something like that if you knew it wasn't important.

[Scarlett]

Sadly I think this has to do with my terminally ill friend, she just texted me that things are bleak. I am sobbing now which oddly is preferable to that weird unsettled feeling earlier. 

[Catwoman]

I’m so sorry about your friend, Scarlett. 😢

[Scarlett]

We are trying to navigate seeing each other. How do you do that during a pandemic?  She had been diagnosed for 18 years. We got used to her doing so well. 

[Catwoman]

Does she live near you? Is she at home? Is she well enough to sit outside? Or if she is stuck in bed and it’s on the first floor, could you sit outside of her window so you could talk?

It’s not ideal, but I know you want to keep her safe. 

[Scarlett]

2 minutes ago, Catwoman said:

Does she live near you? Is she at home? Is she well enough to sit outside? Or if she is stuck in bed and it’s on the first floor, could you sit outside of her window so you could talk?

It’s not ideal, but I know you want to keep her safe. 

She is at home . Currently she could sit outside. We are discussing now. 

[Scarlett]

8 minutes ago, Catwoman said:

Does she live near you? Is she at home? Is she well enough to sit outside? Or if she is stuck in bed and it’s on the first floor, could you sit outside of her window so you could talk?

It’s not ideal, but I know you want to keep her safe. 

She is about 2 1/2 hours from 

me 

[Ausmumof3]

I’m sorry about your friend 😞 I hope you can see her safely somehow.

[Scarlett]

I can barely breath 

[Scarlett]

1 minute ago, Patty Joanna said:

Go see her.  Sit in your cars where you can see each other and talk on the phone if that is the only safe way you can do this.  But ...see her.  

Ty. I will . She just said don't you work every day now? I said yes but  I can get off whenever. 

[MercyA]

I'm sorry, Scarlett. 

[Shoeless]

Yes, do go see her, Scarlett. Get the best masks you can find and go see her. 

❤️ 

[Scarlett]

Her platelets dropped from 17 to 11 in less than a week. 

[Ottakee]

14 hours ago, MissLemon said:

Yes, do go see her, Scarlett. Get the best masks you can find and go see her. 

❤️

I agree.   If she is a terminal, GO.   See her, hug her, spend all the time you can.

[Scarlett]

43 minutes ago, Ottakee said:

I agree.   If she is a terminal, GO.   See her, hug her, spend all the time you can.

The pandemic is the problem.  She would very much like to live to see her son get married.  I would hate to  be the one that gives her Covid that kills her before the cancer does.

[Catwoman]

When is her son getting married? This must be so hard on him and his fiancée, too. 😞 

[Scarlett]

3 minutes ago, Catwoman said:

When is her son getting married? This must be so hard on him and his fiancée, too. 😞 

Well, no one really knows this, but y'all don't know them so whatever....LOL...he hasn't given her a ring yet, but I think they are prepared to be married by the end of next month.  They are a very shy introverted couple who never wanted a big wedding any way, so between Covid19 and his mom's illness I think they are thrilled to just go ahead and do a quick and simple, small wedding.  I think it will be 10 in attendance. 

[Catwoman]

15 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

Well, no one really knows this, but y'all don't know them so whatever....LOL...he hasn't given her a ring yet, but I think they are prepared to be married by the end of next month.  They are a very shy introverted couple who never wanted a big wedding any way, so between Covid19 and his mom's illness I think they are thrilled to just go ahead and do a quick and simple, small wedding.  I think it will be 10 in attendance. 

 

I’m sure it will be lovely. I hope your friend can hang on until then (and much longer, too, obviously!)

[elegantlion]

23 hours ago, Scarlett said:

No chocolate available. Will wine work?

I'm sorry. Some wine will work. 

I'm sorry about your friend and your weird dreams. 

[Ottakee]

5 hours ago, Scarlett said:

The pandemic is the problem.  She would very much like to live to see her son get married.  I would hate to  be the one that gives her Covid that kills her before the cancer does.

That does make a difference

 

[mominco]

(((hugs))) Scarlett.

[fairfarmhand]

Goodness, @Scarlett you are having such a difficult few years here. My thoughts are with you.

[Scarlett]

My friend’s son is engaged.  I think they will be married within a month. 

[Scarlett]

Yesterday she texted me 'Can you come see me Thursday?'  I said yes of course.  She asked that I get the rapid test if I am going to stay with them.  So I have an appointment lined up early in the morning to be tested on my way to see her.

 

[Shoeless]

46 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

Yesterday she texted me 'Can you come see me Thursday?'  I said yes of course.  She asked that I get the rapid test if I am going to stay with them.  So I have an appointment lined up early in the morning to be tested on my way to see her.

 

 

You are a good friend, Scarlett. I hope you have a wonderful visit with your friend. ❤️ 

[Scarlett]

I spent about an hour going through tubs of old pictures/albums.  Gathered some things I want to take to her.  Now I am emotionally exhausted after looking through all of that.

When I was a teenager I wrote a story about how it would be when we were old.....it is super cheesy and lame....I have never shown it to anyone.,,..I can’t decide if she would get a kick out of it or if it would make her sad.  

Edited August 27, 2020 by Scarlett

[Catwoman]

I’m so glad you’re going to see her, Scarlett!

[Katy]

Take her the story. It will make her feel like she mattered to you for her whole life.  I sent a card like that to someone once.  A decade later she told me she knew that even if no one else in her life loved her, she knew I did.

[Catwoman]

4 hours ago, Katy said:

Take her the story. It will make her feel like she mattered to you for her whole life.  I sent a card like that to someone once.  A decade later she told me she knew that even if no one else in her life loved her, she knew I did.

 

I agree! 

Scarlett, I hate to sound morbid, but if this lovely woman may not be alive much longer, this may be the only chance you will get to show her your story. I usually find that I regret the things I didn’t do, rather than the things I did do, so that’s why I am agreeing with Katy that you should do it. I think it will mean a lot to her, not only that you have always considered to be such a close friend, but that she means so much to you that you held on to that story for all these years. 

[Scarlett]

Well I am here tonight, at her mansion on the hill. We sat in the hot tub in the pouring rains from the hurricane.  Her Dh brought us wine in plastic cups and we took a silly selfie.  Her blood count is so low she can barely walk across the room without passing out,  it is barely 10 and she has gone to bed....normally we would be up for hours talking.  The wedding is next Saturday.

i told her about the story so I will have to go home and find it and bring it next trip.i did bring a copy of a note from high school....a love sick possibly unhinged boy wrote her the most ridiculous letter....we read it and laughed and then remarked how he could have been a shooter up of school type guy.

[Catwoman]

I’m so glad you went to see her!

[Scarlett]

Well the wedding is next Saturday.  I am staying through tomorrow. She is having Her sisters and grown nieces come help with the wedding. It is going to be super simple but my friend can literally not do anything.  Her platelet count is up slightly but her blood count is down to 5.4.  
Her goal for the day is to try on the dress she ordered for the wedding.  And to have me to take her to town to do a few errands.  
The brides family is being wonderful in agreeing to pull this wedding together so quickly.  
We are focusing on not crying. 

[Scarlett]

I am home now.  We had a good 48 hours together.  Very hopeful she can make it through the weekend so she can see her son married.  

[Scarlett]

My first Zoom wedding.  It was lovely.  Saw a lot of family and friends on zoom. Fore the ceremony started.  I cried after I logged off.  My friend is feeling better though.  Slightly.  

[Ottakee]

7 hours ago, Scarlett said:

My first Zoom wedding.  It was lovely.  Saw a lot of family and friends on zoom. Fore the ceremony started.  I cried after I logged off.  My friend is feeling better though.  Slightly.  

So glad that your friend made it through the wedding.

And that you were able to visit her.