Child jealous of other child's curriculum!

[NataliaMusk]

I have an issue going on with the two 8 year olds at our house. One of them is great with math, doing Beast Academy a grade ahead. The other 8 year old is our foster daughter, who we'll (hopefully!) get to adopt soon. She's had a difficult life and missed on a lot of school days prior to coming to our house and absolutely hates math. I'm doing Math-U-See with her while my son does Beast Academy online. Here's the issue: she wants to do Beast Academy too. She cries about it almost daily. I know it won't be a good fit for her. She needs a gentler approach, and word problems and puzzles are some of the things she hates the most (tears involved) which Beast Academy has a lot of. She has A LOT of math anxiety. I think she just likes the look of the program (it's very colorful and cheerful) and the fact that it's online (screen time is very limited at our house). What can I do?

- Let her try Beast Academy at the risk of her hating math even more and feeling inferior. Or maybe she loves it? I'm just scared of traumatizing her even more.
- Let her do some sort of online math, even though I think Math-U-See is the best option for her. In this case, which math? She's doing 2 grade math so Teaching Textbooks is our for now, and that's the only one I'm familiar with (and to be honest I don't love it). Anyone has recommendations for online math programs for kids who are struggling?
- Continue with Math-U-See and add some extra online math so she doesn't feel left out? But adding even more math for a math-hating kid also doesn't feel right. 
- Continue with Math-U-See and let her do something else online so she can have her own "special" online time going on. But what exactly? She loves drawing and coloring and learning about animals. She also enjoys reading.
- Just keep doing what we're doing now and keep trying to explain to her that different kids learn in different ways and this math program is the best fit for her. But she feels so left out!

Does anyone has any experience with this? Any words of advice would be appreciated. 

Edited July 27, 2020 by NataliaMusk
Typo

[Mommalongadingdong]

Hmm. I would either get her her own math game like mathseeds, prodigy, whatever and/or read the BA textbooks to her and work through the problems together in addition to doing math u see. She'll see its not as fun as it looks (my kids were fooled initially with BA... and then grew to hate it when it ended up tricker than fun) and lose interest, or she'll learn something. 

[kirstenhill]

Could you just read her the Beast Academy 2 comics "for fun" while doing the program you feel is the best fit? I often had my youngest "listening in" on his older brother's BA comics when he was too young for them (before he was doing BA or in harder books than he was doing), and he really liked listening even when the math was above his level.  Life of Fred is also super fun (just not colorful) and starts out even more basic than Beast Academy 2 would.  

[kristin0713]

I would let her do it when she finishes her other math work. Start her on BA below her level and she will get extra practice. If it's too hard, she'll probably lose interest anyway. 

[Clemsondana]

I think I'd probably work through 3 different options until one worked (and maybe you get lucky and get to stop after the first one!).

1) She could read through the Beast stuff - even maybe let her take a day or a week and let her use it as her program, and in theory she'll see that it's not as fun as it looks.  She might just be happy to look at the book after doing her own work.  

2)  Let her use something online for drill, math games, etc.

3)  Let her use Life of Fred as her main program, to remediate certain skills, in addition to her regular program, or as her Friday Fun Math.  My kids tried one of the Beast books and didn't particularly enjoy it but both have enjoyed different LOF books over the years, so this might be fun for her.  

[Dudley]

I have no suggestions for you , just replied to say we are in the same boat. Two 9yos one bio , one adopted. Constant competition  and comparing that is driving me insane. If it were me, I guess I would either push that you are doing what best or I liked the idea of reading the guidebooks in addition to MUS. She may tire of it, when the material concepts get difficult.

[NataliaMusk]

Thanks everyone! I think I'm leaning towards letting her choose an online math game that's more appropriate for her learning style and level and seeing how that goes, since I suspect her jealousy has more to do with the screen time than the actual math program. I'll be checking these out.

1 hour ago, Mommalongadingdong said:

Hmm. I would either get her her own math game like mathseeds, prodigy, whatever

1 hour ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

Add in something cute and fun like this if she will go for it: https://www.mathplayground.com/ASB_KittenMatch.html

 

 

If it turns out she's still wanting to do BA after that, I think I'll start with the 2A comic book and go from there. I'd hope she would see it's not that fun and forget about it, but I'm just scared she'll think she's inferior somehow because my son can do it and she's not there yet 😞 It's really not fair for her to compare herself to him, especially considering all the trauma she's lived through and of course everyone has their own strengths. 

55 minutes ago, ClemsonDana said:

Let her use Life of Fred as her main program, to remediate certain skills, in addition to her regular program, or as her Friday Fun Math

 

I'll also keep Life of Fred in mind if she continues to complain about MUS. She's making progress with MUS but everyday it's a fight to get her to do it. She thinks it's so boring and everytime she gets an answer wrong she gets really upset and wants to give up and often cries about it 😞 This is very new for me as my other kiddos never had issues with math so I'm having to do a lot of research. I'll have to talk to her therapist about this too and see what we can do about it, because her math anxiety is very real. 

[Miss Tick]

You are right not to make online BA a choice. I might even be hesitant with the print version. 8 was about the age where I separated my twins into different maths. They weren't overly competitive, but I could see my DD starting to think of herself as slow at math and not good. This was crazy because just the year before she was faster (as if that even matters at 8! Argh), but there was no reasoning with the internal voice.  Does Kahn Academy have arithmetic? That might be another good one. I remember they have challenges and awards like Alcumus does (don't know about the BA version)

[NataliaMusk]

32 minutes ago, Dudley said:

I have no suggestions for you , just replied to say we are in the same boat. Two 9yos one bio , one adopted. Constant competition  and comparing that is driving me insane. If it were me, I guess I would either push that you are doing what best or I liked the idea of reading the guidebooks in addition to MUS. She may tire of it, when the material concepts get difficult.

 

I feel you! I thought it would be so easy to have 2 kiddos the same age, assumed they would do a lot of their homeschool together and also have a built-in playing partner... Boy was I wrong! My bio son couldn't care less about her or what she's doing (he has some social issues... but that's a subject for another topic) and she's constantly comparing herself to him and wanting to do the things he does and it hurts to see😞 Especially because my son is an accelarated learner and she missed so many school days and deals with anxiety. I think I'll get those level 2 BA books out from storage and let her see them for herself, thank you! 

[Creekside5]

Could you find a more visually engaging curriculum with bright colors? Some visual learners get really overwhelmed with a whole page of problems. Could you use the math u see method and blocks to teach with a different curriculum? The good and the beautiful is really visually engaging you could print off practice pages  that correspond with what you want to teach with math u see. My 7 year olds play prodigy for their screen time and Love it!

[bensonduck]

Prodigy. You can even customize the assignments for stuff you want her to review! And it is super fun for that age!

[Mommalongadingdong]

16 minutes ago, NataliaMusk said:

. I think I'll get those level 2 BA books out from storage and let her see them for herself,

 

I remember the books having a character who routinely got things wrong too, and I remember using that when teaching later like, oh you made the same mistake as Barry, remember what Barry had to do? I actually LOVE the BA books for concepts but dislike their program lol. I think she'll enjoy the books as a resource. Good luck to you! 

[knitgrl]

OP - I second using Prodigy. I think it would be perfect for an 8yo. It's colorful and fun and customizable without costing too much if you can find a group buy. Or not. You can use the free version, too, I think. There's just not as many costume options and such.

[Reefgazer]

Give her a BA workbook as a supplement and let her "plan" some of the work, choosing to work at her pace.  Make sure you choose a level she can handle.

[Reefgazer]

On 7/27/2020 at 6:42 PM, square_25 said:

Hah, I have no clue what it is DD doesn't like about them. I think they just feel... pointless to her? She's not a huge puzzle kid. She's very, very good at math, but she doesn't like solving random disconnected puzzles all that much. 

The guides, though, she reads for fun. It's not our official math program or anything, she just reads them on her own time. 

This was my son - he had no interest in the BA books because he thought the cartoonish books were silly.  The kid actually opted for Saxon over BA, which surprised me; told me he wanted his math straight up, LOL..

[vonfirmath]

On 7/27/2020 at 8:23 PM, knitgrl said:

OP - I second using Prodigy. I think it would be perfect for an 8yo. It's colorful and fun and customizable without costing too much if you can find a group buy. Or not. You can use the free version, too, I think. There's just not as many costume options and such.

AS I recall the free option of Prodigy is annoying because it keeps dangling the prizes you "Would" have gotten if you were a subscriber in front of your nose then yanked them away.

[knitgrl]

1 hour ago, vonfirmath said:

AS I recall the free option of Prodigy is annoying because it keeps dangling the prizes you "Would" have gotten if you were a subscriber in front of your nose then yanked them away.

I suspect it would depend on the kid. Oldest dd has a unique temperament, and I sometimes forget that. Also, that sort of game playing was a very new thing in our house at the time. So, you make an excellent point -- it would probably be most annoying for kids who are used to that sort of game mechanics.

[NataliaMusk]

Thank you for the suggestions you guys, thankfully Prodigy seems to do the trick! I just let her play it while my son does his own math and she loves the screen time. Plus, extra math practice! My son and even my husband have been playing around with it too so it's a win win 🙂 She doesn't mention wanting to do Beast Academy anymore but she does still complain about MUS although it's a lot better because she knows that when she's done with it she can play her game. I'm still considering using Life of Fred as a way to make math more fun for her, has anyone used that curriculum combined with something else? Does it work as just a fun read aloud? 

[mmasc]

On 8/4/2020 at 10:24 PM, NataliaMusk said:

Thank you for the suggestions you guys, thankfully Prodigy seems to do the trick! I just let her play it while my son does his own math and she loves the screen time. Plus, extra math practice! My son and even my husband have been playing around with it too so it's a win win 🙂 She doesn't mention wanting to do Beast Academy anymore but she does still complain about MUS although it's a lot better because she knows that when she's done with it she can play her game. I'm still considering using Life of Fred as a way to make math more fun for her, has anyone used that curriculum combined with something else? Does it work as just a fun read aloud? 

I’m not sure if this would solve (but maybe help!) the dislike of the math worksheets, but we use Frixion erasable pens on our math worksheets. They especially help with all of the white space on those Math U See worksheets! The appeal of using pens (pink, blue, green!) on math could be fun enough to help. You could also put colorful stickers (like glitter stars) by all of the problems she gets correct. That could point out how many she gets right instead of wrong. Or, don’t point out either and do the incorrect problems the next day on a whiteboard together like it’s review.

ETA: add link

https://smile.amazon.com/Retractable-Erasable-Assorted-Mistakes-Disappear/dp/B07D9Z7GYL/ref=mp_s_a_1_2_sspa?dchild=1&keywords=frixion&qid=1596720496&sr=8-2-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEzRjVMNkFEN1AzTElEJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwMDYwNzA1M1FBSE5ZU0ZFRlYyRiZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwNDUwODk3R01VUEpOUjhXSE9FJndpZGdldE5hbWU9c3BfcGhvbmVfc2VhcmNoX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=

Edited August 6, 2020 by mmasc
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