Ema Posted July 25, 2020 Posted July 25, 2020 At what age, and I know it will probably be all across the board, did your DDs start shaving their legs? DD 10 will turn 11 in October, and while I personally think 5th grade is too young for a girl to start shaving her legs, I was noticing that she is actually fairly hairy! Both DH and I come from Northern European stock, so I suppose it is to expected🙄. As HS’s who are not out and about much with sports etc, I am not too worried about her being teased for not shaving. Not to mention she is so clueless (yet strangely confident) in things like that, that she probably would not notice even if she were being teased, or just wonder why they were making a big deal about it. But I was that kid with the mother who didn’t talk about these things, and who was the last one in her class to start. So I don’t want to push it, but I also don’t want her to be that weird, hairy, pastor’s kid hs’er! That is one adjective that we can help! Also, and maybe more importantly, what is a good razor for starters? Again, my sister and I were those kids whose mom bought the cheapie Bic razors. Yeah, they were fun. There have to be better ones out there! DD is the kind of girl who, with the smallest cut, thinks her life is in mortal danger, so I can just imagine the Fun I will have with this! We have advanced so much in some areas of life, please tell me we have come just as far in razor technology! And not just for her. For me! I finally tried DH’s electric razor the other day. How can something that works so well for his face be so ineffectual on my legs?? Help a sister, her kids, and their hairy legs out! Quote
Junie Posted July 26, 2020 Posted July 26, 2020 37 minutes ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said: I would say let her start when it bothers her. If it’s your idea and not hers she isn’t going to keep up with it anyway in all likelihood. It’s a lot of work. Electric doesn’t work as well, but I think it’s good to start with at least initially while they get use to the tricky spots like knees and ankles. Then let them move to a 5 blade when they’re ready. My .02 at least. Of course there is always waxing too. I used to sit in front of the TV and wax my legs while I was in college lol. It’s way less hassle when you’re young with time (and bendy enough to not need help). You can get all the stuff at Sally’s. But again, you have to care, because no one is going to go through the hassle if they don’t. This is my advice exactly. Signed, the mother of five girls. 😉 6 Quote
Bambam Posted July 26, 2020 Posted July 26, 2020 And it's okay if she decides never to shave her legs. 14 Quote
PeterPan Posted July 26, 2020 Posted July 26, 2020 The way to end cuts is pay for better/more blades. I grew up on 2 blade things so I just thought that was the way to go. When my dd got old enough to shop she got something like https://www.amazon.com/Gillette-Venus-Sensitive-Disposable-Packaging/dp/B0039LMTBU/ref=sr_1_6?crid=3JI59UUXOFKK9&dchild=1&keywords=venus+razors+for+women&qid=1595723098&sprefix=venus+r%2Caps%2C167&sr=8-6 These have 3 and you dont get cut. But if you want to try 5, fine. Just saying as one hairy woman to another, I'd go with more blades. I tried electric in high school and they were expensive and frustrating. The venus make quick work of it after the initial slog. 2 Quote
Joker Posted July 26, 2020 Posted July 26, 2020 I would wait until/if she wants to. My 18 year old dd does not shave and has never been bothered by other people saying anything. It actually hasn’t happened that often even. I was really worried about middle and high school PE but no one seemed to care truly. 1 Quote
PeterPan Posted July 26, 2020 Posted July 26, 2020 48 minutes ago, Ema said: For me! Yeah, i go very natural and then shave for a cause. If you're going to have razors around, no cheapies. I never realized till i got the Venus that it didn't have to hurt. Thick hair makes them dull. After the first shave (forest to plain) you'' have to throw it away. Then a quick tidy and that razor will last a 1-3 weeks. But if it hurts, it's DULL and needs to be tossed. Quote
MercyA Posted July 26, 2020 Posted July 26, 2020 (edited) I don't understand experiencing angst or hesitation over shaving. Some of my friends get all emotional and worried about their daughters shaving and I just don't get it. It's not that different than washing your hair or using deodorant, IMO. Just grooming, no biggie. My DD was 10 when she started. If your daughter's legs are hairy to the point of being very noticeable, and she has no opposition to shaving, I think you're doing her a favor by bringing it up with her. I wouldn't make her shave, and I wouldn't bother her about it if she didn't want to, but I would have no hesitation suggesting it. There is no such thing as "too young," IMO, unless they can't handle a razor safely. We started with this razor: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00K3FFIOA/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1 until she was more confident. It wasn't perfect in terms of hair removal, but was virtually impossible to cut herself with. She uses 5-blade razors now. She's less apt to cut herself with those than with 2-blade razors. Edited July 26, 2020 by MercyA 1 1 Quote
Ailaena Posted July 26, 2020 Posted July 26, 2020 (edited) I agree that there’s no specific age, just when it bothers her. My mom assumed I was too young but at 9 I was suuuper hairy and the kids definitely said something. So I stole a razor and dry-shaved and you already know it was awful. I fully stopped a few years ago because I’m too old for people to make fun of me anymore 😉 DD was a gymnast but still refused to shave until she was 15 or so, but she had light hair. And since leaving gymnastics, she’s probably shaved 3 times (she’s 25 now). Echoing everybody else when I say don’t skimp on a razor, BUT you can’t start with a 5-blade monster, you have to work your way up since the skin isn’t used to being shaven (shorn? Shaved?). Good shaving cream, as well! Edited July 26, 2020 by Ailaena Quote
katilac Posted July 26, 2020 Posted July 26, 2020 Whenever they express interest for sure. If they don't express interest, it's brought up very easily in the context of 'health class' or just going over one of the tween/teen books like The Care and Keeping of You. I'm not recommending that one, as I don't actually remember which ones I liked, it's just the title that springs to mind. My kids were quite oblivious, so I did want them to at least be aware that there was a choice to be made. I told them they could decide, I showed them how to use a good razor, and I also bought an electric razor. Their hair isn't as dark and thick as mine, but it's certainly visible. Neither one of them ever shaved their legs a single time, which honestly surprised me. They're both young adults now, so I'm guessing that's not going to change, lol. I did require shaving the armpits, because teens are stinky enough and we live in the subtropics. They still do that, although perhaps not as often as I think is needed, lol. They also do whatever landscaping is required for the bathing suit they choose. 1 Quote
Forget-Me-Not Posted July 26, 2020 Posted July 26, 2020 I have one who started at 11. We like the Schick Intuition. The refills are a little pricey, but they are great for guarding against nicks and cuts. Quote
MercyA Posted July 26, 2020 Posted July 26, 2020 1 hour ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said: I started at 10 myself, and I am who brought it up to my dd. But I don't think girls care as much anymore. It's like it's optional or something now. I would keel over dead before I'd be caught without shaving or waxing my entire life from age of 10, but apparently that is old school. Huh. I had no idea. I was under the impression that now most girls are removing way more hair than most of us did as teens and young adults, IYKWIM. But whatever! Times change. 🙂 Quote
LucyStoner Posted July 26, 2020 Posted July 26, 2020 2 hours ago, Bambam said: And it's okay if she decides never to shave her legs. Yes, I’m about to be 40 and never have. To be fair, I don’t have that much body hair. If I had more, I might opt to shave. Quote
LucyStoner Posted July 26, 2020 Posted July 26, 2020 2 hours ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said: I started at 10 myself, and I am who brought it up to my dd. But I don't think girls care as much anymore. It's like it's optional or something now. I would keel over dead before I'd be caught without shaving or waxing my entire life from age of 10, but apparently that is old school. I have three nieces, all of whom I am parent like figure for due to various reasons. 11, 13 and 18. None of them shave their legs. One asked me once for help and I showed them how but they don’t do it often. This seems par for the course in my son’s friend group and my nieces’ female friends. One niece does shave her arm pits. Quote
SKL Posted July 26, 2020 Posted July 26, 2020 Although I agree it is up to her when to shave, I would somehow make sure she knows that it is common for females to shave leg hair, so she doesn't find that out the hard way when/if other kids comment. I told my kids that many women choose to shave and some don't, and either way is fine. My eldest had a lot of hair, noticed it, and didn't like it. She used to wear leggings all year to hide it. When she asked about shaving at age 9, I gave her the tools and taught her. Initially I got her an electric razor, but pretty soon she switched to regular disposable ones and liked them better. I think my youngest was 11 or 12 when she started shaving. She is less hairy and also less concerned about looks. Personally I rarely shave my legs, because I rarely show them in public. 🙂 Quote
Carrie12345 Posted July 26, 2020 Posted July 26, 2020 In our house, it’s been whenever they wanted to. As time’s gone on, that still means whenever they want to or don’t want to. They’re not nearly as obsessive as “we” were. I’ve always been a fan of razors with built in shaving blocks because I like quick, easy, and no mess, so that’s what I got them. Never had any complaints (except from my bank account.) Quote
Guest Posted July 26, 2020 Posted July 26, 2020 I agree completely with @MercyA I think when it bothers them, that’s a good time, but if my dd had a lot of long, dark leg hair (or other bikini-ready areas) I would bring it up the same as I brought it up if my kids were not washing their hair well enough or were smelly from lack of deodorant. I wouldn’t *make* my dd shave, but I think it is right to introduce the kids to the grooming habits that are normal for our culture. If, later they want to rebel against the oppression of razors, well, I would cross that bridge when I get there. PS. I also allowed my son’s hairdresser to school him on getting rid of Monobrow. 2 Quote
regentrude Posted July 26, 2020 Posted July 26, 2020 (edited) When it bothers her. I do not understand the comparison to hair washing since there is no hygiene aspect to shaving - it is purely cosmetic, and if anything, can open the skin to infection. It has no health benefit, and leg hair is not dirtier than leg skin. As for the comparison to deodorant: if people stink near you, that is annoying. If other people's body hair bothers you, you can choose not to look. Edited July 26, 2020 by regentrude 3 1 Quote
Wheres Toto Posted July 26, 2020 Posted July 26, 2020 My 26 year old started shaving around 10 and is one who <ahem> clears it all. My younger daughter has never shaved and has no interest. I've told her if she wants to, to let me know and I can help her the first time but that I don't care. I don't shave except maybe a few times over the summer if I'm going to be swimming (although this summer I haven't even bothered with that) or working in shorts (which also hasn't happened this summer). I do shave armpits but she doesn't shave those either. I make sure she washes well, check for stink like I would regardless, and let her do what she's comfortable with. She wears short-style bathing suits so bikini area is not an issue (so do I), but she does wear bikini tops and doesn't care about the armpit hair. 1 Quote
Runningmom80 Posted July 26, 2020 Posted July 26, 2020 Dollar shave club! Great razors and pretty cheap. I also like Billie (both are subscriptions) I was just thinking About this the other day because my DD just turned 10. I don’t think I started until 7th grade, and even then I had to sneak. My mom didn’t want to have to buy me razors so she made me wait as long as possible. 🤣 Quote
KungFuPanda Posted July 27, 2020 Posted July 27, 2020 Don't give her an epilator until she's old enough to drink. 🤣 I love mine now and it's all I use, but when I first took it out of the box I did it all wrong. Ouch. 1 Quote
hippiemamato3 Posted July 27, 2020 Posted July 27, 2020 (edited) My DD is 11 and uses this one: https://www.target.com/p/vera-bradley-venus-designer-women-s-razor-handle-2-razor-blade-refills/-/A-75662667?ref=tgt_adv_XS000000&AFID=google_pla_df&fndsrc=tgtao&CPNG=PLA_Beauty%2BPersonal+Care%2BShopping_Local&adgroup=SC_Health%2BBeauty&LID=700000001170770pgs&network=g&device=c&location=9002476&ds_rl=1246978&ds_rl=1248099&gclid=CjwKCAjw0_T4BRBlEiwAwoEiAV5j_T5LuR2H4XBnCewiZ_MYFpUtIXa63kaEXxfvwwNtvmlEmgpK3xoCcZMQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds She has never cut herself with it. She does use EOS shaving cream. Edited July 27, 2020 by hippiemamato3 Quote
Tanaqui Posted July 27, 2020 Posted July 27, 2020 21 hours ago, Quill said: I agree completely with @MercyA I think when it bothers them, that’s a good time, but if my dd had a lot of long, dark leg hair (or other bikini-ready areas) I would bring it up the same as I brought it up if my kids were not washing their hair well enough or were smelly from lack of deodorant. Those are completely unrelated things. Leg hair has nothing to do with hygiene, and it doesn't smell. 3 Quote
Guest Posted July 27, 2020 Posted July 27, 2020 2 hours ago, Tanaqui said: Those are completely unrelated things. Leg hair has nothing to do with hygiene, and it doesn't smell. I realize not everyone sees shaving legs as necessary, but I do. For the socio-economic and cultural group I am in, females don’t have long, dark hair on their legs, underarms, toes, and sticking out of their bathing suit and gymnastics uniform. I remember being ridiculed for it when I was 11 and 12, because my parents had a weird hang-up about shaving until 13. I’m not about to set my kid up for the same treatment. If it hadn’t occurred to my dd, I would have discussed it with her and to me, the comparison is the same as many aspects of appearance that are cultural. I know it isn’t hygienically necessary to have hairless legs and smooth underarms. It’s also not hygienically necessary to have a hair style, to pluck eyebrow hairs that don’t stay in bounds, to wear clothes in a current fashion, but I do all of those things and, if my kid was clueless about them, I would discuss it with them. I don’t think we do our kids any favors, especially as homeschoolers, if we keep them ignorant about social customs that are normal for our social group. If a daughter comes to realize she has no interest in hair removal, that’s fine. I wouldn’t *make* her. But I wouldn’t just never mention it and take advantage of her lack of awareness of it. 1 Quote
rocassie Posted July 27, 2020 Posted July 27, 2020 My oldest is 13. Around 10/11, with all the other puberty talk, I discussed shaving if she had a desire or questions, but made sure to address it as a personal preference like hairstyles, clothing, and makeup. So far she hasn't wanted to shave. If she does in the next year or so, I will probably give her an electric razor to start. Quote
Myra Posted July 27, 2020 Posted July 27, 2020 On 7/25/2020 at 8:24 PM, Bambam said: And it's okay if she decides never to shave her legs. Yeah to this! When I was 45 I decided no more shaving any hair anywhere on my body. It has been so freeing - I am now in my 60s and wish I had never even started shaving ever! 2 Quote
shawthorne44 Posted July 27, 2020 Posted July 27, 2020 On 7/25/2020 at 7:59 PM, Ailaena said: I agree that there’s no specific age, just when it bothers her. My mom assumed I was too young but at 9 I was suuuper hairy and the kids definitely said something. So I stole a razor and dry-shaved and you already know it was awful. I fully stopped a few years ago because I’m too old for people to make fun of me anymore 😉 DD was a gymnast but still refused to shave until she was 15 or so, but she had light hair. And since leaving gymnastics, she’s probably shaved 3 times (she’s 25 now). Echoing everybody else when I say don’t skimp on a razor, BUT you can’t start with a 5-blade monster, you have to work your way up since the skin isn’t used to being shaven (shorn? Shaved?). Good shaving cream, as well! I dry-shaved too the first time. My hair is very light so it was never an issue. My first date was at 16 to a prom and I got it in my head that I should shave. Why, I don't know because that was the time of hoop skirts. Good thing because I had several band-aids on my legs. I don't know why I didn't say something to my mom beforehand One thing on waxing. I tried it once. One stripe. Extremely painful and that hair was black for about 20 years. Quote
pitterpatter Posted July 27, 2020 Posted July 27, 2020 I taught my DD to shave under her arms around age 11...this was more important than her legs to me. Then, I bought her the following electric razor to help her get past any fears she might have about shaving her legs when she turned 12. She used it for a couple of months and then decided to try shaving her legs in the shower on her own. Didn't ask, just did it. Now she is 13 and uses the electric razor for quick shaves when we're headed out the door (I do too, every now and again) and her hair growth is a little too much for the occasion. She shaves in the shower whenever she feels like it. https://www.amazon.com/Panasonic-Electric-Electronic-Cordless-Operation/dp/B0018A32XS/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=Panasonic+ES2207P+Ladies+Electric+Shaver&qid=1595873979&sr=8-2 - This was only $15 at Walmart when I bought it. I only buy DD Venus razors for the shower...reusable or disposable, whatever is on sale. I personally prefer men's Mach 3 for myself. Venus is supposed to be the same, but they just aren't. Not having to shave every day is another reason I love homeschooling. I remember my knees being painfully sore in junior high because other girls would definitely let you know during gym class if you didn't shave that day or missed a spot. I wish I would have been confident and said who cares and went on my merry way, but no, I tortured myself for no good reason. Quote
regentrude Posted July 27, 2020 Posted July 27, 2020 (edited) 15 minutes ago, pitterpatter said: I remember my knees being painfully sore in junior high because other girls would definitely let you know during gym class if you didn't shave that day or missed a spot. I wish I would have been confident and said who cares and went on my merry way, but no, I tortured myself for no good reason. And if it hadn't been the hair, they would have found something else to bully the other girls. When I grew up, nobody shaved in my country. I didn't know that was a thing until I moved to the US at age 26. But (pre)teen girls in packs were still vicious bullies. There is no escaping bullying by trying to conform to whatever "thing" it is the bullies focus on - once they'll pick a person, they will find something: the clothes, the glasses, the body shape, the grades, the interests. Trying to get ahead of this is making girls contort tighter and tighter around outside expectations. It would be nice if the bullies' moms were teaching them not to be bullies. Edited July 27, 2020 by regentrude 2 Quote
pitterpatter Posted July 27, 2020 Posted July 27, 2020 I always send DD to Girl Scout camp with a razor. It never gets used. Apparently, other girls don't bother either. This would not have flown when I was DD's age. I was terrified of other girls noticing prickles on my legs. When DD asks me to examine her legs, I typically say good enough. And, if other people can see what's left, they are way too close. She always laughs. On 7/25/2020 at 7:45 PM, Æthelthryth the Texan said: I started at 10 myself, and I am who brought it up to my dd. But I don't think girls care as much anymore. It's like it's optional or something now. I would keel over dead before I'd be caught without shaving or waxing my entire life from age of 10, but apparently that is old school. Quote
Wheres Toto Posted July 27, 2020 Posted July 27, 2020 13 hours ago, Quill said: I realize not everyone sees shaving legs as necessary, but I do. For the socio-economic and cultural group I am in, females don’t have long, dark hair on their legs, underarms, toes, and sticking out of their bathing suit and gymnastics uniform. I remember being ridiculed for it when I was 11 and 12, because my parents had a weird hang-up about shaving until 13. I’m not about to set my kid up for the same treatment. If it hadn’t occurred to my dd, I would have discussed it with her and to me, the comparison is the same as many aspects of appearance that are cultural. I know it isn’t hygienically necessary to have hairless legs and smooth underarms. It’s also not hygienically necessary to have a hair style, to pluck eyebrow hairs that don’t stay in bounds, to wear clothes in a current fashion, but I do all of those things and, if my kid was clueless about them, I would discuss it with them. I don’t think we do our kids any favors, especially as homeschoolers, if we keep them ignorant about social customs that are normal for our social group. If a daughter comes to realize she has no interest in hair removal, that’s fine. I wouldn’t *make* her. But I wouldn’t just never mention it and take advantage of her lack of awareness of it. My daughter is definitely aware that some girls and women shave their legs, armpits, etc. She's aware of hair styles, makeup, eyebrow grooming (she actually does shave to lose her unibrow every so often), makeup, etc. She's just not interested in following along with any of it. It's her choice. 2 Quote
hippiemamato3 Posted July 27, 2020 Posted July 27, 2020 3 minutes ago, Where's Toto? said: My daughter is definitely aware that some girls and women shave their legs, armpits, etc. She's aware of hair styles, makeup, eyebrow grooming (she actually does shave to lose her unibrow every so often), makeup, etc. She's just not interested in following along with any of it. It's her choice. This! I can't see any reason whatsoever to force a kid to follow beauty standards unless they want to. It's not a parent's decision. Quote
Tanaqui Posted July 28, 2020 Posted July 28, 2020 4 hours ago, kand said: In my world, I'm finding these kinds of rigid gender-based expectations are putting too much pressure on some girls to live up to externally exposed expectations about their bodies, and they don't want other people to be thinking so much about their young bodies. This causes a huge amount of discontent with who they are. Exactly this. And those that feel poorly suited to contort themselves this way sometimes decide that must mean apparently they aren't girls afterall. That's not why some people are transgender or nonbinary. Quote
regentrude Posted July 28, 2020 Posted July 28, 2020 (edited) 14 hours ago, Tanaqui said: That's not why some people are transgender or nonbinary. I think this touches on an extremely interesting question that doesn't quite fit here: for any gender identity to develop, is it necessary to experience societal differences between the genders? I have a hard time imagining how a human would develop gender identity without seeing gender expression and gender roles modeled around them - where does the concept of "gender" come from, if not from contrast/grouping etc? A human who were growing up in isolation would probably have no concept of gender. But as I said, that's a discussion for another thread... (ETA: I agree that the pressure of gendered beauty expectations alone is no general explanation; there are plenty of people who reject them and still identify as female - and conversely, there are nonbinary humans who present as very feminine) Edited July 28, 2020 by regentrude 1 Quote
BeachGal Posted July 28, 2020 Posted July 28, 2020 I’m not very hairy but I shave every day because I like how my skin feels afterward. It only takes a couple of minutes in the shower. Daisy disposables do the trick. Quote
teachermom2834 Posted July 28, 2020 Posted July 28, 2020 On 7/25/2020 at 9:05 PM, Forget-Me-Not said: I have one who started at 11. We like the Schick Intuition. The refills are a little pricey, but they are great for guarding against nicks and cuts. My dd started at 11. She was very hairy and it bothered her. We also started with the Schick Intuition. The refills are pricey and I keep saying I am going to switch her over to something else but then I keep buying them. My own mom did nothing to make puberty and growing up any easier and I'm inclined to go in the opposite direction and try to make it all as easy and comfortable and drama free as possible. My dd has been shaving about 6 months and I don't think she has had a cut yet with these razors. Quote
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