brehon Posted July 16, 2020 Share Posted July 16, 2020 Well. In the spirit of 2020 being a year of changes, dd17 told me that she wants to take a gap year next year after she graduates high school. She said she just can’t decide (between two disparate courses of study) what she wants to do or where she wants to apply. She also said she wants to really work on her concentration and focus. She said she wants to work as much as she can and she has a couple volunteer gigs she can do. She does not want to go through the application process this year but apply next year. Dh and I are fine with this. She’s our kid who has really struggled with school — really quite smart but has definite executive function issues that have made everything much harder despite much parental scaffolding and help. Dh and I have talked about how the gap year could/should look. What are we missing? I read through all the linked threads on the Great College Threads and others I could find on a search. * She will NOT take any college courses so she can preserve her freshman status. * She will contribute at least some money toward her portion of the auto insurance and pay for gas as needed. * She understands that she is still a part of the household, so she will follow the common courtesy obligations that all the other adults in the house follow. We won’t charge rent or food. * She is planning on taking the SAT/ACT (whichever seems better suited for her; she tests poorly) this year (her senior year). I assume the scores will still be good/valid for the next year? * She can and is willing to talk with various people in the fields she’s considering. However, for obvious reasons, internships, shadowing, etc are not available to her. Things may be more open in 2021, but we live in an area with skyrocketing hospitalizations and deaths. I think this might be iffy. What have I not thought of? Also, what are some suggestions for her to (as she puts it) improve her focus and concentration? I’m rereading Smart but Scattered for Teens. She implemented several of the strategies but still struggles. Sorry for the long missive. Thanks in advance for any tidbits, advice, etc you might throw my way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted July 16, 2020 Share Posted July 16, 2020 I highly recommend requiring that she have a concrete plan that keeps her out of the house for several hours per day. Such a plan could be as simple as getting a paying job or working as a a volunteer or apprentice. Of course this is assuming that the covid issue has been resolved. If things haven't changed, I think it might be extremely difficult to have a young adult at loose ends around the house all day. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lori D. Posted July 16, 2020 Share Posted July 16, 2020 (edited) To help keep up academic and study skills, and work on concentrations/focus, I'd suggest she do some Coursera or MOOC courses, or practice note-taking from lecture from some Teaching Company Great Courses. None of those count as taking a college course, so there would be no losing of freshman eligibility. And, she could self-study in the two areas she is interested in -- that might help her narrow down her choice, and also would provide more foundation in whichever field she ultimately decides to go for. In addition to learning and strengthening executive function skills, she might also look into daily practicing cross-lateral exercises to improve brain hemisphere connections, and look into a good fish oil supplement. Also, perhaps see if half a cup of coffee helps her focus. If the caffeine helps her calm and concentrate, she might want to consider getting some testing with a knowledgeable/experienced physician and consider meds. It is not a moral or personal failing to have a brain that just doesn't produce enough of the chemicals needed for focus and concentration, and to take a mild medication to fill that gap. Edited July 16, 2020 by Lori D. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brehon Posted July 17, 2020 Author Share Posted July 17, 2020 Thank you both!! Yes, dd will have a job plus volunteer activities. She said she wants to earn/save money during her gap year. I wish she’d have the opportunity to shadow people in various jobs. Like I mentioned, though, I highly doubt it’ll be possible due to the increasing covid cases. 25 minutes ago, Lori D. said: I'd suggest she do some Coursera or MOOC courses, or practice note-taking from lecture from some Teaching Company Great Courses. I’ll suggest it. She might be a tad resistant as she may consider it “school”. I’ll offer to let her choose whatever strikes her fancy. 27 minutes ago, Lori D. said: In addition to learning and strengthening executive function skills, she might also look into daily practicing cross-lateral exercises to improve brain hemisphere connections, and look into a good fish oil supplement. Also, perhaps see if half a cup of coffee helps her focus. Good thoughts. She definitely prefers a good cuppa, though, instead of coffee. 😆 30 minutes ago, Lori D. said: If the caffeine helps her calm and concentrate, she might want to consider getting some testing with a knowledgeable/experienced physician and consider meds. It is not a moral or personal failing to have a brain that just doesn't produce enough of the chemicals needed for focus and concentration, and to take a mild medication to fill that gap. We’re not opposed to meds at all. And I don’t think she would be against it. Unfortunately, our finances have precluded any formal testing. But I need to get her into her ped anyway for a routine physical and we can bring it up with him. And look at me!! I just split a quote into three separate boxes! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emerald Stoker Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 Would she be interested in a big project of some sort? Like, I don't know, building a boat or a guitar? Writing a novel? Learning to spin, dye, weave, sew? Or building a chair or learning to weld? Participating in a citizen science project? Restoring antique furniture? Is there something she's super-interested in that could turn into a big goal-oriented project? Mostly thinking aloud here...but if there's any chance she is a "maker" kid, a big project might be a good way to spend a gap year! 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brehon Posted July 17, 2020 Author Share Posted July 17, 2020 14 hours ago, Emerald Stoker said: Would she be interested in a big project of some sort? Like, I don't know, building a boat or a guitar? Writing a novel? Learning to spin, dye, weave, sew? Or building a chair or learning to weld? Participating in a citizen science project? Restoring antique furniture? Is there something she's super-interested in that could turn into a big goal-oriented project? Mostly thinking aloud here...but if there's any chance she is a "maker" kid, a big project might be a good way to spend a gap year! Hmmm...maybe. She really likes doing as opposed to, well, not doing. She’s very hands on — for instance, she is a lifeguard for the second year this summer. Her managers love that she willing to jump in and fix things or whatever without complaint. She very well might have a project she’d like to dig into. I’ll bring it up to her. Thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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