Young teens and their own money

[lovinmyboys]

Ds14 has his first job umpiring. He will probably make about $700 this summer. What do you have your kids do with their money? I can’t decide if I should have him get a set amount to spend, and save the rest for a car/college or if I should have him start paying for some of his own things (like baseball equipment). 

[Scarlett]

42 minutes ago, lovinmyboys said:

Ds14 has his first job umpiring. He will probably make about $700 this summer. What do you have your kids do with their money? I can’t decide if I should have him get a set amount to spend, and save the rest for a car/college or if I should have him start paying for some of his own things (like baseball equipment). 

At that age we did 1/3 save, 1/3 give, 1/3 spend.  In hindsight I think 1/3 is too much to give.

[BakersDozen]

I would definitely have my dc pay for his own equipment. I used to make my older kids save their money then did an experiment with #4 and let him decide what to do with money he earned. He blew every penny in no time flat not once but twice, and learned right quick how fun it is to not have money left. Of my older 4 he is the most financially savvy. So I'd say after paying their own expenses let them decide what to do and experience the good/bad of saving/spending.

[Ottakee]

Another option is to have him pay half of the coat of the baseball equipment....then again it depends on if the total cost is $50 or $600.

[gardenmom5]

It's really depended upon the child.  I had one that needed to spend. really needed to spend. I had to work with him to save some of it. The others . . . . put their money straight into the bank. I didn't have to say anything.  

[Hannah]

I don't prescribe what our daughters do with the money they have earned themselves or with pocket money.  We pay for living expenses, luxury items are on them.   Thankfully both girls are careful and save and give as we've modelled to them, but there have been frivolous expenses that they've regretted.  I bite my tongue as its the way you learn.  While at school,  for sporting goods we pay for 'good enough' equipment. They will add on their own money for top of the line equipment.    This is the same for clothing or personal items.   They're good about looking after things, but if an item has been lost, then they have to replace it themselves.

We are fortunate to be able to have saved for university for them, so have an agreement that we will pay for their living expenses, books and fees for four years.  My daughter is doing very well, but our up front agreement is that if she should fail a course, its on her to fund the repeat.  If she wants to continue studying, we'll help find/provide a good loan.  My father's agreement for us was that he'd see us through school, as that was what he could afford.  We had to find a way to fund our own university/college fees, so I knew this up front and I started saving from my first job.  

Edited July 10, 2020 by Hannah
Added a line

[DawnM]

When they were younger, I would monitor more what they spent their money on.  They would need to discuss purchases with me first (I didn't really demand that but it was usually something they needed to order and use my CC for, so it just naturally happened.). 

I didn't really make them pay for anything that I considered essential.  For us, that included Boy Scout stuff like uniforms and camping and such.  I only mention that because you mentioned baseball.

But it will depend on your own family's financial expectations.  

[kiwik]

If you require him to cover costs you would usually pay will that encourage him to keep working?  I don't know - my first job was for shoeing my horse and horse gear.  We lived on a farm so grazing and hay was free but everything else I worked to pay for.  If my parents had said we will pay but if you get a job you pay it would have had to be a well paid job to be worth it.  Ds13 is earning about $50 a month and has just started so we haven't had that talk yet.  

[marbel]

We always encouraged saving and giving a portion of any  money they earned. But I did not make them pay for essential items like clothing and personal care (toothpaste and such). I would have my daughter pay for part of an essential item that she wanted to "upgrade." So,  for example if she needed jeans, and I was willing to buy the $15 pair, but she wanted the $20 pair, she paid the difference.  I never paid for any makeup unless it was a gift. 

I agree with the poster who suggested that if the paycheck goes to pay for essential equipment for the job, it might remove the incentive for the job. We didn't have the same situation, but sort of similar: we wanted our kids to drive, so we paid costs associated with driving. At some point we started having our son pay for his own part of the car insurance but it was a few years before we did that. 

[Ottakee]

So much too, depends on your financial situation (and no need to share it).  Growing up, kids ALL started working at 12, 14 at the latest.  Babysitting, baling hay, catching chickens, picking blueberries, picking ng vegetables, etc.

Most kids did have to pay for all of their wants, and many of us also had to pay for basics such as clothes, shoes, coats, etc.   We just lived in a poorer, rural area.  In all honesty, I think we all benefitted from this.

 

[Bambam]

I let my kids keep their money and decide what to do with it - I have suggestions, of course, but that's it. 
I still purchase their basic necessities, but say they want an expensive pair of jeans, I won't buy those, they can. Now I will pay toward them what I would regularly pay for jeans, and they can pick up the rest of the cost. However, if they already have enough jeans and don't need any, then the cost is all on them. 
They learn fairly quickly if they spend it all on something stupid, they have none left to go out for ice cream with friends. 
That said, I have one who is a saver and thrifty to the core, and another child who has had to learn. 

[ScoutTN]

Some of what we do depends on the kid. I have a Saver and a Spender. They need encouragement and guidance in different ways. 

My Spender has to be made to save and to pay for some of his own things. He is not super responsible yet, but is good at earning money. 

My Saver is not so good at earning,  but is very responsible and saves with both short term and long term goals in mind.

Both are generous and are happy to comply with our requirement that they give 10% of their income. 

We are a family of limited means Our kids will help pay for their vehicles, gas, phones, etc. They already help pay for camp, social things like movies or amusement parks with friends, and some gifts. 

Edited July 11, 2020 by ScoutTN

[SounderChick]

We have just let our oldest decide for herself.  She is saving for a car but spends some on junk food, makeup, Starbucks.  She is naturally generous and gives tons.  

[fairfarmhand]

My teens know they’ll have to pay for their own cars so that helps them be savers. And they fund some of their own interests like they pay half of their summer camp cost, dd pays for half of her AHG stuff.etc.

[Donna]

When dd was a younger teen, she was making quite a bit of money from gigs...too much to allow her to spend it all. She put 90% in her bank account and kept 10% to spend at her own discretion. The money in her bank account might be used for certain purchases (like a computer, iPad, new violin or bow, etc...) but those were discussed and we helped her research those decisions. Other times, her money might pay for travel/expenses for her gigs (though the gig money would pay that back eventually). Mostly, her savings were just that...savings.

[Katy]

I'd start by asking him what his plan is because his plan might be more conservative than yours.  Then I'd talk with DH about it.

DH's basic idea has always been we'll match 100% of what they put in a savings account that they don't touch until college (or maybe for a really great opportunity earlier that we agree to).

I've always been more in the spend 4-10% of your money camp.  The more, the lower the percent. Mostly because that's the way people get real financial independence. Not that I'm very good at it myself.

[RootAnn]

2 hours ago, Katy said:

DH's basic idea has always been we'll match 100% of what they put in a savings account that they don't touch until college (or maybe for a really great opportunity earlier that we agree to).

We've talked about doing a partial match of money to their 401k. If they put in, say, $100, we add $50. Just an idea.

[BusyMom5]

We would make him put the majority into long term savings- like for a vehicle.  My 15 year old earned some farm money and also part time cleaning, babysitting,  ect.  We let her keep part of it for buying fun stuff, but the majority needs to be put away.  She is still a long ways from needing regular spending money or bills.

[KatieJ]

I think it’s a good time to set up some good plans for how to handle money. Have some good conversations  about planning and having  goals. Possibly open a savings account at the bank. 

At that age I would have them set aside maybe 50% for long term goals, set aside some for giving, and the rest was pocket money. At that point they could choose to spend pocket money however they wanted, but we started asking them to pay some expenses like  birthday gifts for friends parties, (didn’t happen often) roller skating events, etc. We still covered all living expenses, clothes. Etc. On occasion they wanted clothing or something that was more expensive than we were willing to spend, they could choose to pay the difference. 

[sassenach]

We made our young teens put a large chunk in savings. Out of $700 we would probably tell them that $500 has to go in savings and you can do whatever you want with the other $200. I have one kids that would end up saving $175 of that $200, one kid would spend it all the second it hit their hand, and one would string it out over the next year and spend 99.9% of it on food. 😂

We don’t make them pay for anything we would have otherwise bought. Though all my kids were responsible for buying their first car. The better saver definitely got the best car!

[Tap]

My kids are allowed to spend, save, donate their own money at will. My older kids are great savers, but that is what has been modeled in our home. Money and finances are a common topic here, so we didn't expect them to just figure it out on their own. When they were younger there were times when they blew through their money and there were times when they saved large amounts. Just like in real life...it ebbs and flows. 

DD13 is more impulsive, but luckily her money tends to come in the form of gift cards, so that limits their use a bit. (ie...she can't walk to the C-store and blow it  on candy). 

[J-rap]

At that age if they had a part-time job, my kids put 10% toward giving to a charity (our kids would pool it together as a family and then choose something together), save some in their bank account, (we didn't enforce a percentage, but suggested one, and they usually met that), and the rest they could use as needed.  We wouldn't expect them to buy essentials with it, or even sports/clubs essentials (like equipment).  But if they wanted a fancier version of any of those, they could then get it with their own money or pay the difference or something.  They'd also use it to go out with friends, see movies, etc.  Oh, occasionally they used it to go 50/50 for summer camps that otherwise felt a little out of our price range.

The one outlier was a year when my kids had a one-time experience that paid them an exorbitant amount of money, and we put strict guidelines in place on how to handle it.

Even though we gave our kids quite a bit of leeway with their money, I was surprised that few parents seemed to set any guidelines at all.  I think there were times, now and then, that our kids thought it unfair.  (That we wouldn't pay for the "fancier" equipment, etc.)  Now they're saying they'll do it the same way with their own kids someday.  🙂