Nurturing your friendships while observing COVID precautions

[Ginevra]

I’m curious what others who are following mandates (or recommendations) are doing afa doing activities that are low or no-risk for spreading the virus. I did just take up walking/hiking with a friend (actually, I barged in on her daily walk and asked if I could join her sometimes). And my book club recently met outdoors, SD’d and masked. But what are some other ideas?

One friend of mine went on a bike ride with others and then someone was pointing out that the bicyclists further back are at greater risk because they are breathing heavily *and* are in the slipstream of the lead bicyclist. Should the lead bicyclist have the virus, everyone behind might breath it in. 

The activities I normally would do are mostly these: meet for coffee, meet for lunch, see a movie together, see another type of show together, have dinner together. Those things are basically out. There is still meeting for lunch outside as a picnic, but not everybody is comfortable with that because obviously, you cannot wear a mask and eat. Ideas? 

[Jean in Newcastle]

Phone calls, cards, socially distanced walks. For me, the main point is communication and while I miss more in person activities, I can communicate over electronics without a mask or in person with a mask. 

[PrincessMommy]

I have generally done zoom lunch meetings with friends.  My  sister hikes a lot and she will often go with a friend. It seems like a nice way to see friends in person and get outside.  

[EmseB]

We go to a friends' house and they let us use their pool for a few hours and the adults sit spaced out and talk. They clean and disinfect everything inside before we come over so that a kid can use the bathroom when needed, and they clean and disinfect after we leave.

I'm not really worried about biking and jogging and being behind or near someone. The dispersal of droplets in the open air in even a slight breeze makes something like this not an issue for me unless I'm right up in someone's face, which on a bike, I wouldn't be.

[Ottakee]

Walks, hikes, bike rides, kayaking.  We keep our distance but don't wear masks and aren't overly concerned with outdoor activities.

[Pen]

Phone calls, walking (distanced light masks)

Im not biking at all currently, but if I did so along with others I would wear a mask and reduce my exertion level and distance and time accordingly.  

 

[Momto6inIN]

I don't have any good ideas, but I do want to commiserate. I think my friendships have really suffered with this pandemic. When we first started quarantining and everybody was zooming like crazy, I would get so so so sooooooo lonely and sad after every call. On the one hand I wanted to talk to people and see their faces, but on the other hand it didn't feel like real communication because I couldn't make eye contact and it was exhausting and afterwards I was just more sad about all I was missing. So I stopped doing zoom unless I had to. Same thing with texting. I like hearing from people, but after a flurry of fun texts, everything stops and I'm lonely again. So I stopped texting as often too.

It's such a weird time.

[Lady Florida.]

I haven't done any socializing in person since early March. The last time we were out with family was our oldest grandson's 8th/2nd birthday at a skating rink on Feb. 29th. I miss those babies so much! We've "seen" them on facetime but it's not the same. The boys talk to us at first but then being 8 and 5, they start trying to outdo each other with silly filters. Emma is walking now and she wasn't last time we saw her. She's not that into seeing Nonna and Pop-pop on a screen especially now that she has walking to do. She's busy!

As for friends, I had a book club meeting in early March. Since then we've been doing Zoom meetings. We had our third Zoom meeting last night. They don't last as long because our in-person meetings are always at a restaurant. Time is taken up ordering and eating plus going off the book topic multiple times. We tend to say with the book topic better with online meetings but I look forward to the day we can meet in person again. Our off topic discussions are some of my favorite things about book club. We're a small group. About 6 of us regularly attend and all but one of us know each other from our homeschooling days when our kids were young. 

 There's another group of my closest friends - the four of us call ourselves The Golden Girls - and we often have game nights. I've been really missing those. We "talk" on facebook Messenger almost daily but will see each other in person tonight for the first time since I can't remember when. We always celebrate each other's birthdays and two of them have June birthdays (the other is August and I'm the non-summer bday in October). We decided to have a social distancing birthday/pool party since one of them has a pool. We plan to eat at home and bring our own snacks or drinks if we want to. We'll stay outside by the pool where we can stay far enough apart but still talk. If we decide to go in the pool we'll to that with appropriate distancing. If it rains, which is probably won't, we have a backup plan for how to go inside and still keep our distance. I'm looking so forward to it. I hadn't realized just how long it's been since I've had social interaction in person or how much I've been missing it. We're hugging types so it will be hard to say hello and goodbye without hugging each other but at least this get together tonight is a start. 

[JustEm]

if you like going to the movies with friends you can easily set up a movie on a lawn and invite people over to view it and socially distance in the yard

[regentrude]

I am starved for live human contact - phone calls, messaging, letters, and Zoom do not fulfill that need for me.

I see no problems with sharing a meal outside if we're distanced. I just had a friend over for coffee and scones; we sat on my porch, 6+ ft apart. I feel perfectly safe with that. We will have friends over for a bonfire and drinks - obviously, outside.  An acquaintance is having regular Driveway Drinking get togethers; they have lawn chairs, everybody brings their own drink. 

I would not, however, go see a movie, eat at a restaurant, or participate in any event that draws a crowd.

We went on a backpacking trip with a friend recently. DH and I had not interacted with people (beyond masked grocery shopping) and neither had he, so felt safe getting together. Likewise, my DD and her bf visited after being quarantined in their apartment for two months. yes, they had to stop for gas and bathroom on the drive here. But there is always a residual risk with everything one does, and any action we take is weighing the possible risks. 

ETA: Clarifying: risk assessment is obviously informed by geography. Something that seems perfectly reasonable here with no reported cases in  town and only ever total 6 confirmed cases among 30,000 county residents may be completely unreasonable in a hot spot.

Edited June 17, 2020 by regentrude

[Guest]

9 minutes ago, hjffkj said:

if you like going to the movies with friends you can easily set up a movie on a lawn and invite people over to view it and socially distance in the yard

Yeah, that would be fun. I was thinking about that...we did that once for book club years ago, watched the movie of whatever book it was outside on one member’s patio. It was fun! 

[katilac]

3 hours ago, Quill said:

 The activities I normally would do are mostly these: meet for coffee, meet for lunch, see a movie together, see another type of show together, have dinner together. Those things are basically out. There is still meeting for lunch outside as a picnic, but not everybody is comfortable with that because obviously, you cannot wear a mask and eat. Ideas? 

You can meet for coffee outside too, either at the place if they have a patio or pick it up and go to the park. At this point, most of the people I know are comfortable meeting up outside even without 6 feet between people (although not close, either), because there seems to be widespread agreement that outdoors is quite safe. 

For those who are not okay with no masks outside, hmm . . . you can have a watch party to view a movie together. There are apps that let you sync the start on everyone's device, and you can chat (via a text box). 

You can do Zoom or similar meetup for lunch, or just to get together. If you have more than a couple of people, I think it helps to have one person be kind of the emcee and give some guidance, because group conversation is much harder online than in person. 

You could do a group text the same way, and it's a little easier to manage. If you're 'meeting for lunch,' everybody can send a pic of what they're having. 

If you have crafty or even project-oriented friends, you can do group texts to update on a certain day of the week. Share a pic of the scarf you're knitting, or your garden, or just say that you're halfway finished with the scarf or have picked 20 tomatoes from the garden. Everybody can share something - for some people, it might be more along the lines of getting the linen closet decluttered or a comment about working from home. Or sharing that you've actually been very lazy this week 😄

2 hours ago, Dreamergal said:

However, for local friends, we drop off food a lot on each other's porches in disposable containers. Not a lot quantity wise, but there is I think so much love on a home cooked plate of food for me, it is something I cherish. Some friends with better green thumbs have dropped off flowers, my COVID garden is barely producing so I cannot reciprocate that way. I have taken up embroidery again, so I embroider a handkerchief and drop it off with food sometimes. I've sent and received orchids and bonsai. Gifted and received books.

This is a good idea and I have to work up the ambition to do it. 

[Penguin]

I'll just say count yourselves lucky if you have IRL friends who will make these sorts of accommodations. My local IRL friends have stopped behaving like the pandemic exists, so I am not going to see them any time soon. Phone calls and Zoom is all I've got until I can travel to NC where I have a group of friends who are using current best practices. But that would mean traveling from a state that is doing well to a state that is on the rise. 

Blech.

[Guest]

15 minutes ago, Penguin said:

I'll just say count yourselves lucky if you have IRL friends who will make these sorts of accommodations. My local IRL friends have stopped behaving like the pandemic exists, so I am not going to see them any time soon. Phone calls and Zoom is all I've got until I can travel to NC where I have a group of friends who are using current best practices. But that would mean traveling from a state that is doing well to a state that is on the rise. 

Blech.

Any not-raining day, if you want to walk around your city and just chat, I am game. I’ll wear a mask if you prefer it that way. 💜

[Penguin]

8 minutes ago, Quill said:

Any not-raining day, if you want to walk around your city and just chat, I am game. I’ll wear a mask if you prefer it that way. 💜

Thank you, and I will take you up on that...soon. I have to admit that I would at this moment feel guilty hanging out with a friend before my DH and son get the same opportunity. They are both suffering more than I am from the isolation, I think. 

[ScoutTN]

5 hours ago, Momto6inIN said:

I don't have any good ideas, but I do want to commiserate. I think my friendships have really suffered with this pandemic. When we first started quarantining and everybody was zooming like crazy, I would get so so so sooooooo lonely and sad after every call. On the one hand I wanted to talk to people and see their faces, but on the other hand it didn't feel like real communication because I couldn't make eye contact and it was exhausting and afterwards I was just more sad about all I was missing. So I stopped doing zoom unless I had to. Same thing with texting. I like hearing from people, but after a flurry of fun texts, everything stops and I'm lonely again. So I stopped texting as often too.

It's such a weird time.

Yes, our family has had the same experience. Zoom is both exhausting and unsatisfying, for extroverts and introverts alike. I always notice how sad my Dd sounds when a meeting ends. Ds, who normally loves Scout meetings, is so bored with them in Zoom. 

Edited June 18, 2020 by ScoutTN

[regentrude]

1 hour ago, Momto6inIN said:

 I think my friendships have really suffered with this pandemic. When we first started quarantining and everybody was zooming like crazy, I would get so so so sooooooo lonely and sad after every call. On the one hand I wanted to talk to people and see their faces, but on the other hand it didn't feel like real communication because I couldn't make eye contact and it was exhausting and afterwards I was just more sad about all I was missing. So I stopped doing zoom unless I had to. Same thing with texting. I like hearing from people, but after a flurry of fun texts, everything stops and I'm lonely again. So I stopped texting as often too.

Yes. So much this. Everybody here stopped zooming after the initial enthusiasm (and also because work had many of us on zoom more than bearable).
The virtual interactions, via Zoom or video chat, felt exhausting and somehow not genuine. I heard the same sentiment from several friends. Everybody retreated into their bubbles.
And for many people, this had serious mental health consequences, as I had feared when the whole lockdown began.

[Miss Tick]

2 hours ago, hjffkj said:

if you like going to the movies with friends you can easily set up a movie on a lawn and invite people over to view it and socially distance in the yard

Any tips on how to project the movie? I would love to set this up for my DD but I can't figure out the logistics of projection.