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My foster daughters have a sister who is turning seven today.  We were all invited to her birthday party this evening—but late last night I got a call from her foster mother saying that they had changed their minds about inviting us.  Apparently it is a joint party for their niece and my girls’ sister, and when a relative expressed concern over the number of guests invited, they decided to uninvite sister’s guests.  I asked her to reconsider at least letting dfd8 come, and they thought about it for a while and responded that she could come.  

 I would understand not wanting to get together a large group right now, or not wanting to invite our whole crew since there are so many of us, but I am completely incensed that they would just cancel on sister like that.  Why not just hold two parties?  She shouldn’t have to go without her family on her birthday because foster cousin’s grandpa doesn’t want them there!  And if they would just make their foster kid play second fiddle at her own birthday party like that, then they have no business being foster parents. 

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It’s another completely awful thing about being in the foster system. You as a kid get to live out some of the consequences of adult bad choices. Some of those are directly abusive, and others just show a complete lack of concern for you as a person:

I am glad she will get to spend her sister’s birthday with her sister.

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I"m sorry, that's so hard.  I get people being cautious right now about numbers and crowding but  make wise decisions ahead of time and don't disappoint a child!  

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So sorry....but glad you spoke up.

When I was a foster parent I went to one foster dd's K class when she was student of the week....brought treats, she did a Native dance, etc.  Afterwards the teacher (with 30 years experience) said that I was the FIRST foster parent to ever come and do stuff like that.  So sad 

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